Existential Crisis Of Will

"Let me get this straight. Because you, who killed people before, killed people on HIS crew, had your own crew killed as a form of 'Retribution', you vowed to kill the one you wanted to defeat, only to then vow to kill the crew of that same person? Is your head on straight?"

Grim's reaction to my question was to let his head fall down, and sigh while moving his head back into an normal position.

"Yes. It is. A single situation where 'an eye for an eye' can apply though. He kills my own crew, I kill his, it's as simple as that."

"Um.. while that is 'an eye for an eye', the logic behind it is possibly the dumbest thing I have ever heard. And I shouldn't exactly be the one to say this, as a person with plans of pirate life, but your mind has twisted so much that you believe yourself to be the one that is sane in this world. Big news Grim, but you have it the wrong way around."

I smirked outwardly, but was freaking out internally.

'Why am I antagonizing the guy who can defeat Taki? I mean, I thought Taki was strong, especially if she could use her Sulong Form in combination with her Devil Fruit ability to make it rain moons, but if he can defeat potential, why am I trying to make him angry?'

'Well, you know, while he is incredibly strong, you are buying time. And that does indirectly make him want to kill you faster, it does make a slight difference.'

'Oh wow. I'm actually hearing a voice in my head. Great.'

'And I can still converse with you, what does that say about you?'

'Really? Then if you were in partial control, what's your GRAND MASTER PLAN, ya genius? I'd actually like to live for a pretty long time, and if I die, you also die. What does antagonizing him accomplish?'

'Dont worry, I have the situation under control.'

And then, a migraine hit my head, and I put my hand to my head, trying to ignore the slight strong mental pain I just experienced.

'Oh. Oh yeah. You just wanna kill us quicker. Cool.'

'*Sigh* I said "Don't worry. I have it under control" for a reason.'

Grim looked at me with a look that said 'You are an idiot', before speaking "You know what, Buggy? I did want to talk before, but thanks to that, my mood has been spoiled, and I no longer want to play with my prey."

The swirling compressed air around me started to expand, as if it was a balloon becoming too full and ready to pop.

'Oh great, voice in my head. You killed us both. And Taki too. Just had to go with this plan. This stupid, idiotic plan.'

I felt some tears welling up in my eyes.

'I didn't even get to do as much as I wanted. Sorry Director, guess I'll be coming back quicker than expected.'

Grim grabbed lightning that flew off the coils on his back, and combined it with the compressed air, and I could tell that the addition of lightning was increasing it's battle potential by a whole lot.

'I guess I'll think while getting prepared to die. That lightning is nuts. There's no way I could dodge if both air and lightning were condensed. I can tell there's a bit of Haki put into all of them. He really wants to kill me.'

I looked around, and noticed there were at least a hundred of the compressed air mixed with lightning balloon things, all aimed at me. I then sheathed Surya.

'Sorry Surya. I was hoping to find out why you had your own soul, but I guess I can't. Maybe I can ask before Director fully kills me what was up with you.' my head was throbbing this entire time, and I realized time felt slow.

'*Sigh* It seems death is inevitable at this point. My own mind is trying to avoid it. I can't. There aren't any openings that I could get through. I have a voice that's basically ruined any chance of my escape, and I would still have to help Taki. It's just... impossible. There's nothing I can do now. Sorry everyone, I hope you live good lives.'

I could feel myself in a state of Zen. Even if I was about to die, I was calm, crying at the same time, but calm. I could only feel black around me, it was that calm but emotional state of mine personified. And I just floated there, closing my eyes.

I had accepted my death.

"Are you just going to stay there? Let us die?"

I opened my eyes in the empty space to find Buggy standing over me, causing my opened eyes to widen.

"What? How are you alive?"

"Oh, that. I'm a remant of the REAL Buggy that you replaced. You affected me so much that I have become a voice of reason, you know that voice in your head a little bit ago? That was me. Why you didn't recognize me is because my personality is very not like it was. The memories of your world are the cause of it. Now, back to you accepting death. Why did you?"

"Why? I couldn't figure out a way. Even with my Soru and Geppo, I couldn't escape the range of those beams of air and lightning. And besides, Grim would chase me down nonetheless, and kill me. What am I supposed to do besides that? I haven't developed anything fast enough to escape anyways."

There was a good, what felt like a couple minutes of silence in way less time.

"God, your pathetic."

"What? Why's that?"

"Why're you pathetic?" I could see him cross his arms and look down at me. "You're pathetic because you stopped trying."

I looked around the empty space for a second. "Well, if I tried anything, I would only end up dead."

"You really are pathetic."

An irk mark appeared on my face. "WHY'S THAT?"

"You just gave up trying. I've seen your past life. You did something and never tried persuing it. I'm gonna ask you something, and you better answer correctly."

I was still angered, but nodded.

"Did you fullfill your promises?"

I became incredibly confused. "Whaaat?"

"Did. You. Fullfil. Your. Promises?"

"Um... Can you tell me more, elaborate?"

" You really don't want to think about it. Damn that laziness you got to experience. Let me spell it out for you. Have you become the best Buggy you could?"

"Uh.."

"Have you brought Taki to Zou?"

"Um.."

"Are you doing what you promised?"

"Ah..... Um.... *Sigh* no. I'm not."

"So what're you gonna do about it?"

"I don-I don't know."

"Maybe you should fulfill them. I can't believe I had to say it, but you really had your problems. I mean, I have them too, but you have a bunch of them. You're welcome for the help with fixing some, like your anxiety by the way. Now, push your problems away for a minute, and figure out how to fullfil those promises you made."

I couldn't believe what was happening for a second, but I could only try to think about what was the correct thing to do next.

"... I have to survive. That's the only possible way."

"CORRECT! You get a gold star! Now, do what you need to do. I'll be around, since I'm a part of you. Just make sure all of us survive."

And I then watched him dissolve into the darkness.

'Survive? What do I do to do that? No. I don't need to think about it. I just need to survive. The only way I can make more of an impact and not regret this life.. is to survive.'

And then I saw a small dot pulse into existence and then immediately out of it.

'That might be useful. But I just need to survive now. I WILL do it. How is Taki supposed to get to Zou without me?'

The light pulsed again, this time, it started to flicker a little.

I could sense a feeling growing in my body, and although I couldn't tell what the feeling was, I knew it was something important.

I chuckled to myself in the empty space. 'I can't just ruin Buggy's reputation like this. Roger would kill me, I don't need that. I better let him rest in peace then.'

The light pulsed even brighter, as if it was getting closer.

'I mean, what kind of person would I be if I didn't follow through what I said? I mean, I have huge plans already starting to have groundwork laid out. I can't just NOT see them to completion!'

That light pulsed a purple color, and it was brighter than ever.

I smirked to myself. 'I can't believe I actually was pathetic. Just going back on my word? That's stupid. I'm just gonna let myself die like this? No way!'

The purple light was in front of me this time. I reached out for it, and grabbed it in my hand.

"I WILL survive, and I WILL GO OUT ON MY OWN TERMS!" I roared to the sky, and a burst of strong energy came out of me, from the depths of my soul.

"BUGGY!" Was all I could hear, as I watched beams that weren't there before being completely pushed back by the burst of energy from me.

The only thought that came from my mind was 'Conquerers Haki!' as I smiled.