Parting Time

Afritada was good. I paused. Really Lilliana? After all the shenanigans, that's your conclusion? Napailing na lang ako sa sarili pero hindi maikakaila ang saya ko sa mga nangyari. He showered me not only with his fiery kisses but also with unforgettable memories.

Hinatid din ako ni Joaquin sa bahay noong araw na iyon. I really want to stay with him but I know it's not possible. Today's goodbye is necessary for him and for me.

"I'll miss you." bulong ko habang yakap niya ako. Ihinilig ko ang aking ulo palapit sa kaniya. His comforting hugs, safety presence and manly scent are just some of things that I can't bear to part. Kung hindi ko lang naiintindihan ang bigat ng sakripisyong gagawin niya, baka nakiusap na akong wag na niyang ituloy pa.

"Mabuti kung ganoon." biro niya. Ramdam ko ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ni Joaquin. Huminga siya ng malalim bago nagsalita. "Mag-ingat ka habang wala ako. But don't restrain yourself too much. Indulge while observing your safety. I know you're responsible. Isa pa, hindi ka naman pababayaan ng dad mo." I felt his arms tightening around me. "I'll see you after 4 years my Lilliana." bulong niya sa akin.

His words warmed my heart. Lalo na noong narinig ko ang dulo. Alam kong tipid lang magsalita si Joaquin kaya naman pinapahalagahan ko ang bawat katagang sinasabi niya. I wonder what version of him will I meet in the future. Hindi na ako makapaghintay pa. Clenching my hands, I've decided to up my game. Hindi pwedeng ganito pa rin ako pagbalik niya. The Severinos never stopped growing. I will never waste my time.

"I know. I'll be good Joaquin." this I can promise. "Ikaw din. Mag-ingat ka. Hihintayin kong makabalik ka. Alam kong kaya mo iyon." I kissed his neck, one of my favorites in him, then hugged him tight. I love you, I confessed inside. Ganoon pa man, hindi ko muna sinabi sa kaniya.

Thinking of the long days ahead made me feel lonely but realizing that our parting will make him a better man calmed my heart. I spent my days learning things that'll equip me to be stronger, braver, better. I am Severino. Kaya ko 'to.

The first year without 'the boys' is bearable. Bakit hindi? Nandiyan pa si sangko Severus with us. But alas, sangko also joined them. Pumasa rin siya sa matapos ang isang taon. We sent him to Baguio and spent a few days there.

Manang Rosa often joked about our house needing an additional person. Napapagod na raw siyang maglinis ng kakaunting dumi sa paligid. Nakasanayan na kasi niyang inaasikaso kaming lima kaya naman nanibago siya ngayong kami na lang dalawa ni dad. Ganito na rin naman noong nasa kolehiyo sila kuya. Pero mas malalala lang ngayon dahil noon ay nakakauwi pa sila tuwing bakasyon. Sabi ko nga ay alaga lang ang kailangan namin.

"Happy birthday Lilliana!" bati ni dad sa akin. He baked a cake with Manang Rosa's help. Pinunasan ko ang luhang kumawala. Dad chuckled when he saw my reaction.

Birthdays were meant to be special. Lalo na at isang beses lang ito sa isang taon. "Thank you dad." I smiled sweetly at him. I know he's busy. Kaya naman mas makahulugan ang bawat salu-salo. It was just the two of us but it is never awkward.

Pagdating sa pagkain, mabilis lang akong makuntento. Huling-huli na ni Manang Rosa ang kiliti ko. Mayroong carbonara, fried chicken, pizza, vegetable salad and cake. Dad hates it kapag may nasasayang kaya naman kakaunti lang ang ginawa nila. The rest will be sent to my friends.

"Come. May ipapakita ako sa iyo." I skipped happily to dad. My light curls are swaying around. Minsan naiisipan kong ipa-unat ang aking buhok pero sa tuwing naaalala kong magkatulad kami ni mom ay nagbabago ang isip ko. Even my eyes and figure is a carbon copy of mom's. That's why compared to my brothers, mas maluwag sa akin si dad. Maya-maya lang ay nakarinig ako ng tahol.

Snapping my head to its direction, I squealed as I saw a pup. "Is that for me dad?" tumawa siya sabay tango. I hugged dad before running to my new baby. Ito ang matagal ko ng hinihingi sa kaniya. His furs are so soft. Noong una ay nahihiya pa pero kalaunan ay napaamo ko rin.

"What will be his name?"

I paused for a minute. He's a funny one, alam kung sino ang dapat pakisamahan. "Wuffy!" naming him after my favorite character. "I'm your mama." I grinned. You'll be my new companion.

Wuffy is an aspin. Dad adopted him. The breed is never a priority. He knows that I'll love it no matter what. Simula noon ay hindi na nalayo si Wuffy sa akin. Tuwing nasa bahay ako ay lagi siyang nakabuntot.

The following days were booked for different batch of friends. There's Georgina and the gang, my college friends and even dormitory roommates. Sa loob ako ng campus nakatira dahil mas ligtas dito. Dormitory din ang pinili namin dahil gusto ni dad na matuto akong makisalamuha sa iba't ibang klase ng tao. Only then will I be prepared to face the society.

"Look who's with me." masayang bati ni Barbara. Nagbeso kami habang nagtatanggal ng mask si Georgina. As usual, she's all glammed. Laging blooming ang kaibigan kong ito.

"The price you pay." biro ni Georgina dahil sa mask na suot niya. Dumadami na kasi ang nakakakilala sa kaniya. And our friend, Mark, is her official photographer. Kaya naman sikat silang duo. Everytime she have pasabog pictures, Mark is the one behind it. And he has photographed the beauty queen Irisviel last summer. Sunod-sunod na ang projects na natatanggap niya simula noon.

"Baka sa susunod hindi mo na kami kilala." gatong ko. Tumawa sila. Malabong mangyari pero alam kong mas mahihirapan na kaming lumabas sa hinaharap. Ngayon pa nga lang at iniiwasan na namin ang mga nakakakilala sa kaniya. Gusto kasi naming idaos ang araw na ito ng tahimik lang.

"It's not too late Lil. You can still join me." she bats her long lashes at me. Napailing ako. Matagal na nila akong pinipilit. Dinadaan na lang nila sa biro ang pagpilit sa akin.

"You know I'll never be slim." malusog ang mga parteng dapat ay may laman. Kaya naman tuwang tuwa sila kapag inaayusan ako.

"So what?" tanong ni Barbara. She's sporting a pixy cut. Bagay na kayang-kaya niyang dalhin.

"Models are slim." sabay turo ko kay Georgina. She's blessed with long sexy legs that's meant for the runways. Idagdag mo pa ang mukha niyang pagkaliit liit.

"What a lousy excuse." binago na nila ang usapan at nagbigay ng mga regalo. Mark framed a collage of my photos with different expressions. All in black and white. I gasped when I saw it. Every picture captured the genuine me. Kahit ganoon, magaganda pa rin ang mga kuha dito. I'm not even aware that I'm being shot.

"Thank you Mark. This is beautiful." sinserong sabi ko. I'm thinking of putting it in my room. I smiled. "Nasaan ang sa inyong dalawa?" pagtataray ko.

"I told you." baling ni Barbara kay Georgina. "Bawal ang tawad." she sneered while giving me the present. I opened it only to be greeted by my favorite author's newly released book. Niyakap ko ito at inilagay sa tabi ko. I smacked my lips and smiled widely.

Georgina followed next. The dark box was wrapped elegantly. I can't help but look suspiciously at Georgina. She had her signature smirk which means she's waiting for someone to fall for her tricks. And I refuse to be her victim.

"You won't open it?" tutsa niya. "Ikaw din. Pagsisisihan mo kapag hindi mo binuksan ang regalo ko." I squinted my eyes at her. Hindi pa rin sigurado kung tama ba ito. Umiling lang ang dalawa pa.

"Damnation!" I cursed softly. The box houses different tools, tools to make me happy. Nagsimula sa pinakamaliit hanggang sa pinakamalaki. I'm not an innocent child. Malaki na ako para maintindihan kung para saan ang mga gamit nito. It suits me, a woman whose lover is away. Pero naiisip ko pa lang na baka may makakita sa akin habang gamit ito ay para akong sinisilaban.

Mark coughed violently. Sino ba namang hindi magugulat sa ganito? He's a man. There are things that are not meant to be shared. "You even have that? Saan mo naman nakuha?" he rebuked Georgina.

"Those are legal. I'm turning 20 this year. Matanda na ako." she said righteously. I inspected the box carefully. Baka may pwede pa akong magamit kahit papaano. I sighed in relief. Buti na lang may nightdress na kasama. During the day, I was always dressed comfortably - shirt and pants. But at night, I'm no saint. I started wearing silk and satin when sleeping during my high school years. This is how I rebel.

Having the much needed chat after being separated, I feel recharged. The moment I arrived home, my thesis greeted me. This semester, we were supposed to propose a business meant to be implemented next year.

We tried brainstorming but failed due to the gossip that's being discussed instead of ideas. I should have known that this will happen. With Georgina and Barbara, there's no way that it will be a productive meeting.

After the weekend, bumalik din ako sa campus. It's 3 hours away from home kaya naman tuwing Biyernes ako umuuwi at bumabalik tuwing Linggo. Hindi alintana ang pagod sa pagpapabalik-balik. Dad is the only one I have for now. Ganoon din siya. Kaya naman sinisiguro kong umuwi kahit dalawang beses man lang sa isang buwan.

I sighed. Kaunting tiis na lang at makakapagtapos na rin ako. Mabilis lang ang panahon kaya hindi ko dapat sayangin ang bawat pagkakataon.