Change

The workings of this world often leave me bewildered, questioning their logic.

I've conducted numerous checks, from scrutinizing my reflection in my mother's cellphone when she wasn't paying attention to staring into mirrors, but I've never glimpsed any sign of stars within my eyes.

Was I starless? But then again, what exactly did these stars signify? Did they carry a specific meaning? It was never explained properly.

A whirlwind of inquiries swirled through my mind, and you know what's both amusing and confounding?

Despite my attempts to replicate Ai's character, I couldn't quite grasp it, given the fundamental gender gap. Yet, mirroring Aqua's demeanor seemed almost effortless. It's no surprise, really. In certain aspects, I'm rather akin to him.

My eyes naturally held a dark hue, making it challenging to discern any hidden patterns. Yet, with intense concentration, I could discern faint star-like glimmers amidst the darkness.

They were nowhere near what I expected, though.

They felt...false.

So, why were these stars absent from my sight until now?

I suddenly realized the reason.

I've been acting from the very moment I opened my eyes, inadvertently suppressing them under layers of personas.

This was a confirmation stars actually meant something.

As an experiment, I decided, for the first time in my 13 years in this world, to peel back the intricate layers that I'd meticulously constructed over time. These layers molded me into the ideal infant, child, and now a young boy.

...But was it really who I was?

My eyelids briefly slid shut, prompting a moment of self-reflection. The question of who or what I truly was flickered through my mind, yet an odd apathy settled over me. Frankly, delving too deeply into that didn't pique my interest all that much.

Did this newfound sense of liberation from my acting evoke an intoxicating rush within me? Honestly, not particularly.

It was only by dispatching Hikaru Kamiki that I could savor even a modicum of enjoyment from this life. Until then, every passing moment held the weight of progress toward that singular goal. I could not waste time.

As I gazed upon the stars etched profoundly within my eyes, a faint smirk etched its way onto my lips.

I'm no paragon of virtue, but it's apparent I'm not firmly rooted on the side of righteousness either. After all, I have both eyes with stars, which are complete darkness.

I almost look like that scum. Isn't it ironic?

If my deduction holds true, I might well be fashioned to be a master of deception myself. The twist is that the Goddess has conveniently maneuvered me into a position where I can eradicate the rot that festers in this world, a nuisance to her grand scheme.

Why do I remain starved for information? Because, quite possibly, I rank even lower than a mere pawn.

I have no cheats, no powers, and I can just live as a normal human until I die.

I should not care about anything aside from that, but not knowing things is worse for me than forgetting about my past, because the latter is quite useless at the moment, while the former is incredibly useful to understand everything.

...I've come to believe that I might forget things a long time ago. But that's only natural, isn't it? In anticipation of such a normal process of the human mind, I diligently documented my journey and cataloged my memories so that I can check them up whenever I need them.

The stored information I know is always complete is better than relying on the human brain, after all.

Naturally, I've penned these entries in English, yet I've taken care not to present them plainly. They read like a conventional diary, detailing events and occurrences from this life. Anything unrelated and suspicious is cleverly encrypted, a code only comprehensible to those in the know. I could conveniently pass it off as an innocent exploration of English writing, and my parents would likely buy into the explanation.

Of course, whether they discover the truth or accept it isn't a concern that holds much weight for me.

Being cautious is a principle I uphold with unwavering dedication. I'm no run-of-the-mill, reckless protagonist; that's a given.

...Despite my mind carrying the weight of an adult, the impulses of my physical age remain influential. It began with the yearning to find my mother, then shifted to seeking out my father. Once I subdued those urges, a desire to foster connections with others took precedence. Lately, however, a fresh inclination has surfaced – a heightened awareness and interest in girls, specifically those of my own physical age.

The internal struggle you faced, Aqua, now resonates within me.

Still, my intentions and desires within this world had been mostly written in my notebook.

I did not particularly yearn to shine in the future or something like that.

Once I've dealt with Hikaru, I will pursue Ai Hoshino. After all, she's a woman of incredible beauty...

Scratch that, she's not merely charming – she's the individual I've come to know most intimately, and her allure is unparalleled.

Her lies only make her look more beautiful in my eyes. Isn't that quite amazing?

After all, I'm also made up of lies. We're similar.

It'd be a profound pity to watch her entangled with that murderer.

He'll be gone before she will even catch a glimpse of him.

With a sigh, I allowed my demeanor to shift back into the guise of the young boy I was expected to be, just as the sound of approaching footsteps and a gentle knock reached my ears.

"Ren-sama, Your breakfast is ready. Also, today you have a rehearsal scheduled in the afternoon. In the evening..."

The life of an actor, as I've come to know, was undoubtedly bustling. Not that I had any qualms about rolling up my sleeves and putting in the hard work...

Following a light breakfast, my intention was to head out for my usual stamina-building run. However, just as I reached for the doorknob, Shiina intervened.

"Ren-sama, before you go, there's something I'd like to inform you about. Our Managing Director has brought in a few new kids. Tomorrow evening, they're set to receive their very first official lesson."

Though it didn't serve as concrete proof that the bastard I needed to kill was among them, I offered Shiina an appreciative smile while giving her shoulder a reassuring pat. Somehow, my gut feeling whispered to me that he was indeed among this fresh batch.

"Thanks for sharing that, Shiina. Please let their instructor know that I'll also be present. I'm planning to offer them some guidance to help kickstart their journey in the Entertainment Business. I have a feeling it could make a real difference for them."

"...Understood, Ren-sama."

She gave me a courteous bow as my smile widened.

"No need to be so stiff, Shiina. When we are alone, you can be more casual with me. I'm way younger than you, and you also deserve some respect to be willing to go so far in your job as to make me breakfast in the morning. Have it here as well if you'd like, I don't mind."

With these words, I put headphones in my ears as I left without letting her deny it.