Chapter 1: Prologue

Hello all!

It's been a real long time since I've had any kind of inspiration to even sit down and type up an idea for a story. Weirdly enough, this idea came up between my wife, myself, and a few friends of ours while watching the latest RWBY episode. It's a similar scenario that WE had experienced as teenagers and thought that the characters from RWBY would be perfect characters for the story.

Now, this also means that there will be some OOC for some characters that I am looking forward to creating and seeing how it fits. I hope to create something for all to enjoy.

This was the idea of six, immature individuals who shall remain nameless. Obviously, while there will be similarities, much of the story was altered to fit into the world of Remnant. There is a rating of M for this story for a reason (Raunchy and suggestive themes). This story is also AU and a few years ahead for the students at Beacon. Kind of imagine Chibi on crack... with pairing(s)? That's kind of what I'm going for... I think? ENJOY!

Single quotation mark ( ' ) – Inner Thoughts

Brackets ( [ ) - Car Speaker

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Prologue

Jaune was reluctant to be here. In fact, that was an understatement. There were about 20 things he could think of off the top of his head that he would prefer to be doing right now. With the school being on break and the campus mostly empty and students returning home to enjoy time off, the grounds were fair game for the select few remaining, and that meant he could do just about anything.

He could use any of the training grounds he wanted, he could use the community room television to watch any of the shows (cartoons) that he wanted, and he could be as loud as he wanted. Yes, the possibilities were endless when it came to "what could be", but instead, the young blond found himself in an off-campus apartment building waiting for someone. Strike that, not just anyone, the "pretty boy" of Haven Academy, Neptune Vasilias, was that person.

"Ughhhh." He scoffed, slightly slouching forward in his chair, with a sour face.

What was promised to be a quick meet-up at the blue-haired playboy's place had turned into an hour wait.

"Something the matter, Jaune?" He was asked.

Jaune looked over from his slouched position at the table to look over at one of the other two occupants he was currently sharing the space with. His gaze fell upon his long-time friend and teammate, Li Ren, who was staring at him inquisitively.

Ren was holding a few cards in his hands, entertaining himself with a game he and the other member of the group were playing in order to pass the time. Jaune had been offered the chance to play as well, but he knew how lucky he was (is) when it comes to many things in life and opted to sit it out. After all, they had been promised a short wait before Neptune was to arrive.

"Yeah, I guess." He replied with a slight tone in his voice. "We've been waiting here for nearly an hour at Neptune's place for HIM. Doesn't that sound a little ridiculous?" He continued.

Ren took a card from his counterpart's hand and placed it down the table. 'Doubles. NICE.' Ren continued his calm and cool demeanor while multi-tasking the game and entertaining conversation with Jaune.

"Yes, he is a little late, isn't he?" He retorted.

"A little?" Jaune replied. "No, no. A little late is five, maybe 10 minutes. But this guy is an hour late... TO HIS OWN APARTMENT. And the jerk has the nerve to ignore my texts I've sent to his scroll."

Ren drew from the pile. 'Another non-match. Damn it.'

"Sometimes things come up." He said without emotion. "Neptune invited us to his apartment and promised us something we did not want to miss out on. We should hear him out, as friends."

Jaune narrowed his eyes at his teammate. His chin was now supporting his head while he sat there at the table, visibly annoyed. He HATED when Ren gave answers he didn't want to hear. He somehow always had the right answer to things.

"Ok, sure," Jaune said, throwing his arms in the air, clearly exasperated. "but he could shoot one of us a message. Surely, he's not that busy that he couldn't do that, right?"

Ren gave a simple shrug and continued to play the game, annoying Jaune further.

"You're so not supportive," Jaune said, finally sitting up. "help me out here a little, Sun."

Jaune aimed his attention to the other party at the table. Sun Wukong, the Faunus of the group who was on the receiving end of several defeats by Li Ren in the game they had been playing for the better part of 30 minutes.

Sun's "thinking face" was on currently. He was deep in thought as his monkey tail danced back in forth while he stared at Ren's cards. He was hesitant on which to pick. Damn it. Card games were never his specialty, but Ren had denied a push-up contest to pass the time for Neptune's arrival.

"Gimme a second, Jaune. I'm busy." Was his only reply.

Jaune inwardly sighed again and put his head down on the table. It was pure boredom. What could be so important that he had to give up his Friday? He had to admit he was rather curious. When he received the message to his scroll to grab Ren and meet at Neptune's apartment, he assumed it was an urgent matter of life and death since no details were given. He almost ran there only to find Sun waiting for them inside the apartment, sitting on the couch.

Sun didn't know what it was about either, but he knew that he could trust Neptune. After all, they were teammates and have been since they had both enrolled at Haven Academy 3 years ago. Yes, all four of these boys... men were all seniors now. It is crazy how fast time flies when you exterminate Grimm, get your ass kicked, and eat Pumpkin Pete's cereal all on a daily basis. In a few short months all four of them would graduate and receive their Huntsman licenses.

It was a dream come true for all of them, especially Jaune. He had come so far in those short few years. The once "Vomit boy" had come into his own as a warrior. Thanks to his friends and teammates, he had gotten his act together. He was still the same clumsy goofball, but he could at least back up what he said now... for the most part.

Obviously, Pyrrha still wrecked him in both hand-to-hand combat and with weapons, but he still stood a chance against the other members of RWBY. While they all had their special talents, his semblance ability to heal his aura while fighting, gave him a stamina advantage. Fighting against Crescent Rose was still no fun, but he had brought Ruby herself to a draw more than once. Vomit boy was growing up.

"I win again."

"WHAT?!"

"You really suck at this, don't you?"

"Best 13 out of 25."

"...No."

Sun shook his head and flailed his arms in disappointment. In a matter of wits, most were usually unable to keep up with Ren. What he lacked in personality and overall strength; his intelligence overshadowed. Sun was almost the complete opposite. He was chiseled and had great endurance, but when it came to a fight using his head, he would probably think that to be a head-butting contest.

Ren placed the remainder of his cards on the table and let out an exasperated sigh himself. Even he was growing tired of the wait at this point. Not only was he tired, but he was also hungry. The three had helped themselves to a few snacks in the apartment, but not much was worth taking. What he would do for pancakes. 'Pancakes.'

"Maybe we should get dinner if he's going to be a while?" Ren posed to the other two.

"I could eat, I guess." Jaune offered in reply.

"Sure. Beats losing again." Sun also replied.

"Right. What's everyone want? Since the school's closed with only a few students remaining on campus, we have to fend for ourselves." Ren stated.

"Oh yeah, I forgot I've been eating dry cereal for a reason for the last 3 days." Jaune groaned.

"Why don't you just go buy milk?"

"It's the principle."

"You're just being lazy, aren't you?"

"...Shut up."

"In any case," Ren interjected. "What shall it be?"

[You three are incredibly boring.] A voice stated.

The other 3 men at the table all stopped talking at this point. They looked at each other in surprise and confusion.

"I'm sorry, but you both hear that right?" Sun asked.

"Y-Yeah. Where the hell did it come from though?" Jaune answered.

[Down here, dumbass.] The voice replied.

As a unison, all three sitting there looked underneath the table and saw what appeared to be a tiny, car-shaped toy. Differently from a car though, it had what was a camera on the front of it.

"What... Is that?" Ren posed to the others.

[I'M YOUR GOD.] It stated.

"And why is it retarded?" Ren added.

[HEY!] It answered. [THERE'S NO NEED FOR THAT!]

Suddenly, a realization came over Sun. That voice...

"Wait... Neptune? Is that you?" He asked, almost certain.

[Finally figured that out, huh? Took you long enough.] He replied, unimpressed.

The three at the table, more confused as ever, stared once more at each other. They had seen some weird things, hell even some bizarre things, but... this?

"I'm sorry," Jaune stated. "How long has this been going on, and why are you a car?" He continued.

[I'm not a car, you idiot. I'm speaking to you through a headset and my voice is coming out through the speaker on the bottom of the car I modified.] Car-Neptune responded.

Jaune reached down and picked up the "toy", as he thought it, and examined it a little closer with the other two. It was definitely a toy car but added to it was the camera they had noticed earlier and after flipping it over, they noticed the speaker that Neptune had mentioned.

[Hey, be careful. Those mods were costly and time-consuming.] Neptune said.

"So, are you watching us?" Ren posed.

[Yeah, from my bedroom. I've been recording you guys for the better part of an hour.]

Suddenly, a wave of annoyance hit Jaune. It hit the other two as well, but not nearly as much as Jaune.

"Let me get this straight." He started, bringing his hands together. "We've been waiting here after you asked, no, BEGGED, us to come to your place to show us something important."

[Yes.]

"And then you don't answer your scroll that whole time after we arrive?"

[Yes.]

"But this whole time, you've been in your room, recording us play cards and scratch our asses?"

[...Yes?]

"Got it." He responded. "Hey Sun, that garbage disposal work?"

"Sure does." He stated matter-of-factly.

The sound of the garbage disposal turning on was more than enough to send a panicking Neptune barreling out of his room to hold Jaune's arm back from destroying his invention.

"Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll make it up to you! I swear!" He pleaded.

Jaune relented and signaled for Sun to turn the garbage disposal off. Jaune turned around to face Neptune who had calmed down considerably after being handed back his toy. He checked it for damage before wiping the glass camera for any smudges and placing it on the kitchen table behind him.

The remaining three went back to their respective seats. Ren began recovering all the cards from the endless games Sun and himself had played during the waiting time. Sun went through his scroll, presumably looking to play another game. Jaune sat there, seemingly unimpressed with the same bored look on his face.

Neptune stared back at them after seeing his machine was in good standing. He had a plan for his new "toy", and he needed help to execute it. Neptune had placed the order to an Atlas company nearly two months ago for this special occasion. This weekend would make him the most popular guy in all of Beacon, and he was always about his social status. Of course, he had kept quiet about it and was not willing to disclose his plan until he had this toy of his.

"So." He began. "I bet you're all wondering as to WHY I called you here?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Sun responded with the other two simply nodding.

"Well, you've already seen my new camera and speaker from earlier." He said, showing off the toy once more.

"You mean the car?" Ren asked.

"No, no," Neptune responded. "I mean, yes, the car is a little addition, but it's the camera and speaker that are specially ordered. The car is just something I added. It's remote-controlled and it has a range of 300 feet."

"Okay, but why the camera and speaker?" Ren asked again.

A smile crept onto Neptune's face. Finally, the REAL presentation can begin.

"It's simple, boys. We are going to use this technology for the betterment of all the Beacon students and create a social hierarchy with us at the top. We will garner the respect we deserve while letting everyone know who's in charge."

"What?" Sun asked, even more confused.

"He wants to record people and then blackmail them with what he finds." Jaune replied, attempting to clear the confusion up.

"Well that's downplaying it... but yes!" Neptune stated enthusiastically at the end.

"Okay, but why?" Jaune continued. "Surely there's a better way to go about gaining popularity at a school that you're not even a part of."

"Jaune, Jaune, Jaune." Neptune stated while shaking his head disapprovingly with his hands raised in the 'what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you' kind of expression. "You do realize that students and other third parties will pay a substantial amount of money for good material, right?"

"...I'm listening."

"I think it's better I show you." He responded.

Neptune walked from his kitchen to his living room that was only a few feet away. He grabbed the remote to his television and pressed the 'Power' button. The screen came on and revealed a dark screen. Neptune then pulled his toy out and pulled the camera off the front of the car. Reaching behind the television, he pulled a small cord out and plugged the camera into the cord.

Next, he pulled up his scroll, clicked on an app, and pulled up a video. Ren swore he heard a "Here it is." coming from Neptune's mouth, faintly across the room. After that, Neptune clicked on the file on his phone and a video popped up on the television. Neptune smiled before looking back at the others still sitting at his kitchen table. He motioned for them to come sit on the empty couches occupying the living room.

They stared at each other before standing up and making their way over. Ren and Jaune occupied the smaller sofa, while Sun sprawled out on the longer couch, seemingly comfortable.

"Now then," Neptune began. "Feast your eyes on this." Pressing play after.

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The video began to play, and it showed the courtyard of Beacon Academy. It was a bright day and it was most likely during the last week's school time hours before the summer break. The video showed the camera moving, most likely on the remote-controlled car that it had been on earlier. The video was crisp and showed every minute detail of the academy.

[All right.] A voice came over the speaker, clearly belonging to Neptune. [You're all about to see what I just found.]

The car then drove off down the path towards the school buildings. It passed a few on-lookers in the garden area without losing any speed. The car made a left turn around a few of the statues that inhabited the grounds. It dodged a student who was waiting around the corner and was almost stepped on. The poor boy then took a misstep and fell backward onto his behind. He yelled something incoherent as the car kept moving to its destination.

Making one last left turn, the car circled around another side of the building and came to a stop. At first the boys on the couch didn't see much. They saw what appeared to be a person off in the distance but as the camera continued to zoom. Closer and closer, they finally made out the person's face. Not only that, but they were also able to see WHAT exactly they were doing. A look of mortification, shock, and laughter came over the faces of Ren, Jaune, and Sun, respectively.

Before them was Cardin. But Cardin was doing something. Not just something. He was excreting. He was excreting, outside, against the school building.

"Oh, dear Oum, why?" Jaune squeaked out.

"NO WAY!" Sun offered.

Cardin had a look of pain on his face. Red, sweating, and exhausted were perfect definitions. He muffled a scream at times and continued to push with a mighty force. His fingers gripped the wall of the corner he was huddled in. Luckily, there was no one that usually came by this area, let alone during what should be class time.

"Why now? Oum, what was in that?" Cardin inquired.

[Apparently, our friend here doesn't do well with the Friday lunch special.] A voice from the speaker stated.

Jaune leaned back onto the couch after stifling a chuckle of his own. It's no secret Cardin and Jaune never saw eye to eye even after Jaune had saved him back during freshmen year. They spent the better half of the remaining time until now avoiding each other and not engaging in any kind of conversation. So, he found the bit amusing to say the least.

"Couldn't have happened to a better person." Jaune stated, still smirking.

"OH, IT BURNS! IT BURNS! FUCK!"

"All right, I've seen enough. Please for the love of all that is right, turn it off!" Ren begged.

"FUUUU-"

The video went to a pause as Neptune clicked the button on his scroll device. He looked back at the group who were a mixture of amused and disgusted. Cardin was just a simple accident. Neptune originally had other plans for his toy, but this was just a bonus.

"After I finished recording the footage, I sent Cardin a note with a copy of everything and ransomed it back to him. He left me 100 lien in an undisclosed location and I gave him the original." Neptune stated.

"Wait... You just showed us this, so you still have the original." Ren added.

"Well, yeah, but he doesn't know that," Neptune replied. "I mean, Oum forbid he actually finds out it was me; I'd like to have this just as a backup."

"That's fair." The others answered.

"So, you plan to expose and blackmail the students here and make some money off them?" Sun questioned.

Neptune shook his head and waved his hands.

"No, not all the time. I just know that Cardin is a jerk. I just want to do this to mess with people and get a few cheap laughs out of it more than anything. Yeah, I do want to blackmail certain individuals I may not like, but even then, I like just about everyone at this school. Not to mention, with vacation here, there isn't really anyone left at the school except a few of you." He stated, gesturing to Ren and Jaune.

Jaune and Ren both looked at each other. It was true. For summer vacation, many of the students had opted to go home rather than stay in the dorms. A select few had offered to stay and act almost like security along with a few of the teachers and staff. Others simply did not want to leave and return home. With students to a minimum, the idea of the four of them getting around the school and "spying" for lack of a better term on the other students should prove to be easy.

With the amount of boredom Jaune was going to experience on break, he thought it might be nice to do something as a group. Blackmailing really wasn't his style but getting a few laughs with friends might be worth it. Looking at Ren, even he seemed amused by the idea. Maybe it had something to do with being a ninja or whatever he was?

Sun had a mischievous smile on his face, which was all the confirmation Neptune needed to know he was in. Sun was the partner he trusted the most from his team and he knew that he would be game. Convincing the other two was what was going to be the challenge.

"Well, what do you boys say?" Neptune asked them. "Shall we have ourselves a fun weekend? I already have plans drawn up." He continued, making his way over to a desk in the corner of the living room before opening the drawer. He began digging through, searching for something.

Jaune wondered what they would do first. Who would be the first victim to their new-thought scheme? Most of the teachers were gone as well and students that they even knew were limited, so who...

'Oh no.' A thought dawned on him as he sat there pondering. 'Oh no. No. No. No. The horror of what he was thinking finally translated into words soon after.'

"Wait." He began, garnering the attention of both Ren and Sun who gave him an inquisitive stare. "It's vacation time and there are only a few people here, which we've already established."

"Yeah, so?" Ren said, seemingly realizing the same thing. 'Oh no.' His eyes widening in response.

"What are you two bug-eyed about?" Sun asked.

Neptune ignored the whole conversation between them as he finally pulled out what he was looking for. He strolled over to the coffee table in front of them and smiled while looking at what he had in his hands. With pride and force, he slammed the paper down on the table for all three to see.

"Gentlemen, I give you 'Operation: Attack RWBY'." He stated, showing his plans to the group.

Jaune had just one word in mind for Neptune's death wish of a plan.

'Fuck.'

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OKAY. The first chapter is done. Let me know what you all think. Critiques and ideas are ALWAYS welcome. I know my grammar needs A LOT of work. I don't flame people for what they think, and I know people will have mixed feelings about this story by the end. Just remember, it's a story RETOLD (for the most part... kind of). As I stated above, we will get more into the pairing(s) and stuff later, but the main focus is comedy, so I hope this actually does the job.

I'm going to attempt to update/work on this story as a daily process, but work tends to get in the way (night shift anyway). In any case, thank you for reading the first chapter of what I hope is an enjoyable adventure.

Until next time!

GodRealm