4. Chapter Four

The overnight cattle run is a little over a week away, and the entire ranch is busy with preparations.

Nicole is actually thankful for the lack of time to to stop and think, because lately it feels like she’s in a constant battle with the train of her thoughts.

And whenever she thinks she has a handle on it, there Waverly will be, chatting or working with one of the other ranch hands.

She always gives a small smile and wave, her eyes drifting away just to come back again.

Nicole is still aware of how ill advised their situation is, and honestly, she’s not even sure Waverly is consciously aware of her own possible feelings.

Despite all that, it sometimes feels like she’s fighting a losing battle against some sort of gravity between them.

Today Nicole finds herself distracted by the hay baling machine, which is mysteriously not working right.

She reaches for a wrench from the tools scattered along the ground, her hands already streaked with grease.

She doesn’t mind this kind of work normally, but with how much there is to do, she’s frustrated by having something like this go wrong.

It takes her a good thirty minutes of trying to figure out the problem before she realizes what she’s looking at.

She heads off at a clipped pace to fetch Doc, giving curt nods to Fish and Levi as she passes by the barn.

Once she’s dragged Doc back out to the equipment barn she gestures at the machine without saying a word, waiting for him to see it.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Doc pulls his hat off, leaning in to take a closer look. He shakes his head and looks back to Nicole. “Have you told anyone else about this?”

“No, as soon as I realized what happened I came straight to you.”

Doc nods. “Good.” He scratches at his cheek, getting lost in thought for a moment. “Listen, maybe we should keep this under our hats for a little bit, not bring Wynonna in on it right away.”

Nicole eyes Doc carefully, looking for any sign of dubious intentions, but finding none.

Doc sighs roughly. “And not for any of the reasons I can see floating around in those pretty brown eyes of yours.”

Nicole softens. “Flattery will get you nowhere with me Doc.”

“Oh, I have noticed.” He grins. “Honestly, you saw how Wynonna reacted with the dead cow situation. Just give me some time to look into this, okay?”

Nicole thinks it over before nodding slowly. “I’m not crazy then? This was obviously broken on purpose by someone?”

Doc’s eyes harden. “No, you are not crazy. It would appear we may have a sabotage problem on our hands. One I hope we find a swift resolution to.”

They work together effortlessly to figure out what parts they need to get the baler running again, and Doc heads to town to get the needed supplies while Nicole heads back to her cabin to get cleaned up.

As Nicole rounds the corner of the main barn she practically bowls Waverly over.

“Whoah, there, where’s the stampede?”

Seeing Waverly is not something Nicole expected right now, and she doesn’t really have time for small talk, but per usual, it seems her common sense takes a lunch break every time she’s around her.

She gives Waverly a small smile. “Because we’re on a cattle ranch? Good one Earp.”

Waverly tosses her head to swing her hair over one shoulder. “Well I am known as the funny one in the family. Also the sober one.” She tilts her head in contemplation. “Actually, those two things might be related.”

Nicole can’t help the way her smile grows. She never seems to be able to help it.

Waverly’s eyes zero in on Nicole’s cheek.

“You’ve got something on your face.”

Nicole raises her hand to swipe at it before remembering the amount of grease she wasn’t able to quite scrub off without the grease remover she keeps in her cabin.

She waves a hand at Waverly, shrugging her shoulders. “I’ll get it when I get back to my cabin.”

“Here, let me help.”

Nicole swallows as Waverly steps closer, sliding her fingers across her cheek, her thumb rubbing firmly but gently against a particular spot.

It takes all of her self control for Nicole to keep herself from closing her eyes and leaning in to the touch.

“There,” Waverly says softly, “much better.” She steps back, but it doesn’t do much to put Nicole at ease again.

They’re staring at each other.

The air feels heavy with something, and Nicole’s heart beat picks up.

She has no idea what’s happening here, but she distantly recalls that being a fool and kissing Waverly Earp was not on her list of to do items today.

Her body screams at her to reach out and run her hands through Wavelry’s hair while kissing her senseless, but her mind forces her to stay put.

Waverly blinks then, and a sharp clarity comes back to her pretty eyes as she takes another step backwards from Nicole.

“I better let you go, I’m sure you have lots to get done. I’ll see you around.” She gives a small smile before walking away.

Nicole would pay just about anything to know what was just running through Waverly’s head, but she doesn’t have time to focus on that.

As her feet start moving again she tells herself to forget about it, forget about Waverly, and just do her job. If only she felt like that was possible.

*****

Even in the midst of the controlled chaos around her, Nicole takes the time to admire the way a gentle breeze blows through the grass of the fields around them.

She sits on her horse, having crossed the river ahead of the herd of cattle to entice them to ‘follow the leader’. Doc is making his way across the river now on his horse, ushering across the first cluster of cows.

Today marks the last time they’ll move the herd before making the long push in a few days.

Getting the cows across the river now will save them a lot of time and possible headaches come the morning of the big drive.

Dolls is across the river, in position to slowly push clusters of cows into the water intermittently, while Fish helps keep the groups corralled together as they plod down the river bank.

Levi’s job is to circle around repeatedly behind them, making sure no cows wander off back towards home or make their way down the river bank to deeper waters.

Doc emerges from the river, water pouring from the flanks of his horse heavily onto the ground. He tips is hat to Nicole. “Lovely morning for a horse ride, wouldn’t you say Haught?” His dimples come out as he grins.

Nicole mirrors his smile. A lot of ranch work is monotonous and menial, but days like this, with mountain views and country air, all from atop horseback, is what makes it all worth it.

Doc works to keep the cows that have already crossed in a relatively contained area, while Nicole continues to work close to the bank, ushering up the next cluster of cows Dolls has pushed over.

Things are moving along smoothly for awhile, but Nicole starts to get concerned at how spaced out the remaining cows on the other side are getting. It makes it far too easy for some of them to wander off, which will add a lot of time and hours to this whole operation.

She scans the bank for some sort of explanation, and it becomes clear to her that Levi is not properly looping around the back end of the cows to keep them moving forward.

Her eyebrows draw down in confusion, because it seems like such a rookie mistake for an experienced ranch hand. Although she supposes everyone has a bad day or drive here and there.

She doesn’t have time to think on it too much, because she hears loud splashing off to her right.

She whips her head around to see a cow has entered the river far down away from the rest of the herd, and it appears to be struggling to cross.

It’s letting out distressed noises, eyes wide, and water kicking up all around it.

Nicole knows that cow. The brown spot she can see on the back of it’s head has her heart plummeting.

She doesn’t stop to think as she spurs her horse into movement, acting on pure adrenaline and emotion.

The only thing she knows in the moment for sure is that she absolutely can not let that cow die.

*****

By the time they get back to the ranch it’s much later than it should be, and the fluffy clouds dotting the sky stand out against the pink streaks of the setting sun.

Nicole is finally almost dry, although the boots currently residing in her saddle bag will take at least a night to lose the dampness they still have.

It was worth it though.

The entire herd is now safely in the field across the river, happily feeding on the grass until the ranch hands return again in three days.

Wynonna and Waverly are waiting for them on the front porch of the house, along with Shorty and Nedley, who stayed behind to handle the chores that still needed to be done leading up the overnight trip.

The girls immediately stand and come down towards the barn when they spot them, Shortly and Nedley ambling along behind.

Wynonna raises an eyebrow when Nicole dismounts her horse, taking note of her bootless feet.

“Did you lose your boots in a bet out there?”

Levi takes the reins of Nicole’s horse from her, keeping his head down as he does so. He hasn’t made much eye contact since the incident, and it’s obvious he feels rather guilty about it. He mumbles another “Sorry” to her as he quickly leads her horse away.

Before Nicole can answer Wynonna, Doc slings an arm around her shoulder.

“No bets lost, just some run of the mill hero stuff coming from Nicole here.” He gives her a little shake and grins.

“Explain.” Wynonna prods him.

Doc and Dolls take turns filling Wynonna and Waverly in on on the situation; how Nicole had ridden right into the deep part of the river to help the cow get across, and how she had to dismount her horse in the deeper water.

“Hell, at one point I thought she might be a goner. She went under for a good fifteen seconds or so, wouldn’t you say Dolls?”

Dolls nods his head in agreement. “At least.” He gives a rare grin at Nicole. “You are made of some hardy stock.”

“Well Haught-damn, that is quite the tale. Might just break out some of the good stuff for a night cap later. Come on by if you’re up for it.” She walks by Nicole, pausing to smack her in the ass as she does so.

Doc and Dolls both chuckle, meeting each other’s eye and shaking their heads.

“Well I’m starving, how about we rustle up some dinner.” Doc proclaims.

Nicole, who can’t help but notice Waverly hasn’t said a word yet, jerks her head towards the cabins.

“I’m going to get out of these damp clothes first, then I’ll head on over.”

“Sounds like a plan. We’ll make sure we leave you a bite or two.” Doc replies.

He and Dolls head off with Shorty and Nedley in tow, and Nicole can hear them talking over the story again.

She grins a little, feeling a bit silly about the hero worship they’ve been giving her since this afternoon, but liking the feeling of camaraderie nonetheless.

When her eyes come back to Waverly her grin fades.

Waverly does not look one bit amused or happy, and Nicole is a little confused by the reaction.

She has a feeling she might regret asking, but she has to know the reason for it.

“Is everything ok? You seem kind of upset.”

When the fire sparks in Waverly’s eyes it becomes clear that was the wrong thing to ask.

“Do I? Do I seem angry? Huh, well how about that.”

Nicole swallows. Waverly just left the vicinity of kind of upset and now seems full blown mad for some reason.

“I wonder, could it be because you decided to play the asshole hero and do something incredibly-” she takes a step forward and shoves at Nicole’s shoulders “fucking-” she shoves again “stupid and dangerous?” She gives a third shove and Nicole’s hands raise to gently grab her wrists.

“Whoah, hold on there. Everything turned out ok, I’m fine. Everyone is fine.”

Waverly pulls her wrists out of Nicole’s grasp. “Oh, well then, since everything turned out fine I guess that makes what you did not stupid. How silly of me. I didn’t realize that guidelines for stupidity change when everything turns out fine.”

If Nicole thought Waverly had fire in her eyes before, they are now blazing.

She’s really not sure how to diffuse the situation, but she hates that she’s upset Waverly so much. The only thing she can think to say is the truth.

“It was the calf from my first overnight watch. I know how upset you were when the mother died, and I hated seeing you that way.” Nicole’s voice is pleading for Waverly to understand. “I couldn’t bare to think of you being that upset again.”

Nicole immediately realizes sharing the truth was a mistake.

Waverly’s eyes harden, and her face becomes impassive. She takes the smallest of steps back, but it might as well be a chasm that’s opened up between them.

“You don’t want me to be upset? How do you think I’d feel if one of my employees got seriously hurt, or worse, killed?” Her voice is stiff, bordering on formal.

It feels like a kick in the gut, Waverly coldly referring to her as an employee like that. Nicole is quick to remind herself it’s the truth, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

She huffs a breath out her nose, a small, humorless smile curling the corner of her lips. Her eyes drift to the mountain range, but she isn’t able to enjoy their splendor one bit in the current moment.

She shakes her head softly, bringing her gaze back to Waverly.

“You’re right. I wasn’t thinking. Next time I promise I’ll take into account what a headache it would be for my bosses if one of their employees got hurt.”

Nicole knows her tone isn’t particularly friendly, but she can’t help it. She needs to be away from here right now. She needs to be away from Waverly before she can make an even bigger fool of herself.

“Please tell Wynonna that I’m too tired for that drink. You have yourself a good night Waverly.” Nicole tips the brim of her hat, but it’s cold and lacking any of the normal warmth and humor she usually gives it.

The spark of hurt in Waverly’s eyes is clear for just a moment before it disappears. She gives a stiff nod and “Fine” before falling silent again.

“Fine.” Nicole can’t help but childishly respond back before she turns and walks away.

She bypasses the dining building and heads straight for her own cabin, closing the door a little more forcefully than necessary.

She leans back against the door, her head making an audible sound as it comes in contact with the wood.

This is not how she saw this day going. Not at all.

*****

Almost forty-eight hours pass, but if feels like a lot longer to Nicole.

She didn’t even realize how often she and Waverly shared little smiles and waves as they made their way around the ranch each day, until now, when they are completely absent.

Nicole hoped after a restless and awful night of sleep she’d wake to find Waverly cooled off, and they could calmly and rationally talk about things.

No such luck.

It seems Waverly is actively avoiding going anywhere near where she might be, and the few times Nicole has spotted her, Waverly quickly averts her eyes and walks in the opposite direction.

The worst part about all of it is how much it hurts.

There’s a deep, persistent ache in Nicole’s chest, and she hates it.

She feels beyond stupid for letting things reach the point where she actually feels hurt by something like this.

She knew developing feelings for one of her bosses was a terrible idea, and now she gets the pleasure of chastising herself for not listening to her own common sense.

She spots the Earp sisters as she walks from her cabin to the barn.

She’s just about to change direction with the hope of not being spotted when Wynonna notices and calls her over.

“Hey there Haught-hero, everything in order for the overnight trip tomorrow?”

Nicole can’t help the way her eyes drift to Waverly briefly before she answers. The younger Earp sister is refusing to look at her.

Waverly gives a mumbled “I have something I need to do,” and walks away without another word.

Wynonna watches her leave, brow creased in concern.

“Any idea what crawled up her butt and died? She’s been so distant and moody the last couple days.”

Nicole scratches at the back of her neck uncomfortably. “I’m not sure, unfortunately.”

“Huh.” Wynonna shrugs. “Well maybe I’ll just have to get her drunk tonight and force her to confess. Anyway, everything good to go for the drive?”

Nicole doubts Wynonna will be successful with her plan to make Waverly talk, but she certainly isn’t going to say that out loud.

“Pretty much. We’re supposed to get some rain tonight, but I don’t think it will cause any problems.”

“Well good. Wouldn’t want you to have to pull any more heroic shit, even if it was awesome.” Wynonna winks, and Nicole is struck by just how different the sisters’ reactions to the situation have been.

“Me neither. I better get back to it, see you later.”

Nicole wanders off, in the opposite direction she saw Waverly go.

She desperately hopes by the time they get back from the trip Waverly won’t be quite as angry.

It makes her stomach turn to think about having to find other employment because of this. She likes it here.

If she were honest, which she refuses to be, it might feel worse to think about not seeing Waverly and her smiles everyday than to think about getting another job.

She forces the thoughts from her mind and sets about finishing up the final tasks that need to be done before tomorrow.

A couple hours later and she’s just about done, thankfully, because the skies have become seriously overcast.

All of the other ranch hands have headed off to dinner, and she promised to meet them shortly.

She’s making her way from the equipment barn to the main barn when she sees Waverly coming back from the field.

Unfortunately Waverly notices her too and immediately heads in the opposite direction.

Nicole must be a glutton for punishment, because all of her previous ideas about giving Waverly space and waiting to talk until after she gets back go right out the window as she calls out to her.

“Waverly, wait.”

She’s surprised when Waverly actually listens and stops, turning around slowly with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised in question.

Now that Nicole has her here, she has no idea what to say, so she asks the first question that pops into her mind.

“Are you going to stay mad at me forever?”

The sky lets out an awful crack of thunder, and they both look up for a moment before returning their eyes to each other.

“I’m not mad at you.” Waverly responds cooly.

It’s Nicole’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Really?” she asks in a monotone voice.

Waverly rolls her eyes. “Fine, then yes, I am.”

Thunder rolls again, and the first fat drops of rain start to fall.

Nicole decides this little confrontation is a terrible idea. She doesn’t feel like getting poured on and clearly Waverly isn’t ready to talk.

“Okay then, suit yourself.” She walks away without another word, heading towards the main barn and ducking inside as the rain intensifies.

“So that’s it?”

Nicole whirls around at the sound of Waverly’s voice.

Waverly jumps a little when there’s a flash of lightning and crack of thunder that follows immediately.

And god help her, Nicole finds it cute. And it’s that fact that makes her blood boil.

Normally Nicole is even keeled and so very level-headed. She thinks you should be to do this line of work properly, and it’s something she prides herself on.

But this thing with Waverly knocked her off balance almost from the start, and it’s starting to take its toll.

“That’s really all you have to say?” Waverly huffs out.

“Yes, damn it, that’s all I have to say!”

Waverly startles at her tone, and Nicole would feel guilty for it in any other situation. She shakes her head, at a loss. “What do you want Waverly?”

The sound of rain increases, and Nicole curses the storm for coming now.

Waverly parts her lips to speak, but closes them again a moment later, her eyes drifting away.

Nicole hates the silence stretching between them, and she desperately wishes she knew how to make things right.

“Please Waverly, just tell me what you want.” Nicole tries again, softening her tone.

Waverly closes her eyes tightly, breathing deeply through her nose as her fingers curl into fists at her side. A moment later she relaxes again, and when she opens her eyes there’s something in their depths so clear it almost takes Nicole’s breath away.

Waverly’s gaze dips to her mouth, and Nicole knows for certain she isn’t mistaken.

Trouble is, she doesn’t know if Waverly is aware of the message her look is giving, and Nicole is tired of feeling unsure.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” Waverly whispers.

“Like how you’re looking at me.” Nicole hates the slight tremor audible in her voice.

“I can’t.” Waverly slowly pulls are eyes away from Nicole’s lips to meet her gaze, a hint of desperation visible on her face. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”

Thunder rolls loudly again, but neither of them react to it.

The air in the barn has shifted, and Nicole can physically feel the tension stretching between them.

“Waverly.” There’s a hint of a warning in Nicole’s voice, of what, even she herself isn’t quite sure. She just knows they’re hurtling towards something neither one of them will be able to take back.

Waverly shakes her head back and forth softly, her eyes focusing back on Nicole’s lips.

She’s moving then, in sure steps, towards Nicole. It seems to take both an eternity and no time at all for her to cross the barn.

When Waverly crashes into her, going up on tiptoe to capture her lips, Nicole catches her. Her hat falls to the ground in the collision, but neither of them pay any mind.

It takes approximately two seconds for Nicole to realize she’s a goner, because Waverly has the softest lips she has ever kissed, and her hands drift to Waverly’s cheeks to hold her in place as she deepens the kiss.

Waverly clings to her wrists with her hands, pressing impossibly closer.

It’s not nearly close enough for Nicole.

She walks Waverly backwards slowly until her back hits the barn wall.

One of Nicole’s hands slips into Wavelry’s hair, gently tilting her head to change the angle of the kiss as she runs her tongue along Waverly’s lower lip.

Waverly parts her lips immediately, and the second their tongues touch Nicole knows they’re in trouble.

She can not get enough, and the way Waverly is clinging to her and kissing her back, it’s obvious she can’t either.

Nicole runs a hand softly over Waverly’s neck and down her side, slipping over her backside before pulling a leg up to hook around her hip.

Waverly lets out a tiny, breathy moan and Nicole needs her closer.

She brings her other hand down to Waverly’s other leg, getting a firm grip and lifting her off the ground.

They break the kiss for a second as Waverly hooks her legs completely around Nicole’s waist, settling her back against the wall, before frantically pulling Nicole back into another kiss.

The new position evens out their height difference, and Waverly uses it to her advantage, sliding a hand to the back of Nicole’s head and threading her fingers into her french braid, guiding Nicole into a deeper kiss.

Nicole digs her fingers into Waverly’s ass as she nips at her bottom lip before soothing it with her tongue, and god help her, Waverly smiles at the move.

Nicole can’t help it when her hips nudge forward of their own volition, but the small moan of desperation Waverly lets out manages to cut through the fog in her brain a bit.

When Waverly’s hands move to the buttons of her shirt, Nicole pulls back an inch.

“Wait.” The roughness of her voice is foreign to her own ears.

Waverly leans back in for another kiss, and Nicole succumbs to the temptation again, getting lost for another minute before her senses come back to her.

“Hold on.” She pulls back farther this time. “Please.”

The way her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath matches Waverly’s, and all Nicole wants to do is keep kissing her senseless.

And yet, there’s a voice in the back of her mind telling her if they keep going like this their first time is going to be in a barn, where anyone could walk in. Nicole doesn’t want that for Waverly. She doesn’t want it for them.

Waverly’s eyes go wide and she drops her head back against the wall with a light thud, her cheeks flushed and lips bruised from kissing.

Nicole can’t help but reach a hand out to stroke a thumb over her bottom lip. Waverly’s eyes flutter closed at the contact.

Nicole shakes her head, trying to get her brain working properly again.

“I’m going to put you down, okay?” She says gently.

Waverly just nods, and Nicole very slowly sets her down before taking the tiniest of steps back.

Waverly runs a hand through her disheveled hair and looks away from Nicole in what appears to be embarrassment.

“Hey.” Nicole whispers, reaching out a hand to Waverly’s cheek to softly turn her gaze back towards her. “Are you okay?”

Waverly visibly swallows. She nods her head, but a crease forms between her eyebrows. “Do you -” she pauses to clear her throat, “do you not want me?” Her gaze drops to the ground.

Nicole can’t contain the laugh that bubbles up from her chest, but it dies out when she realizes Waverly is serious.

“Waverly.” Nicole takes one of Waverly’s hands and presses it over her still thundering heart. “Do you feel that? That’s what you do to me. Of course I want you.”

The flush on Waverly’s cheeks deepens, and the smallest of smiles curls her lips before disappearing again. “Then how come…?” She trails off.

“How come I stopped?”

Waverly nods.

“Because as much I want you, and I really, really do, I don’t think a barn where anyone could walk in at any moment is the best place to be doing this.

Nicole chuckles as Wavelry’s eyes go wide again and she frantically looks around, relaxing a fraction when she realizes they’re still alone.

Nicole reaches out to take a strand of Wavelry’s hair in her fingers as she continues talking.

“Plus, I want you to be sure.”

She can see the question on Waverly’s face.

“I want you to be sure about this. About me. That this is something you really want to do.”

She presses a finger to Waverly’s lips when she sees them part.

“Please. I just want you to take some time to think about it.”

Nicole knows she’s making the right decision, she does, but the delicious thrumming low in her body is not happy about it. For half a second her libido hopes Waverly might fight her on this.

Instead, Waverly takes a deep breath, nodding her assent.

“I’ll be gone for two days on the cattle run” she gives a wry smile, “which I think might be really good timing. Can we talk after I get back?”

Waverly smiles shyly. “Yeah, we can talk when you get back.” Her smile fades. “But you better not pull any dangerous hero stunts while you’re gone.”

Nicole puts a hand over her own heart. “I wouldn't dream of it, I promise.”

Waverly rolls her eyes at the faux seriousness of Nicole’s declaration, but she’s still smiling.

They stand there looking at each other, and just like that, the tension between them is building again. Nicole knows Waverly can feel it too, based on the way her eyes have zoned back in on her lips.

Nicole shakes her head. “I’m gonna need you to go now, while I still have some self-control and chivalry left.”

Waverly sighs. “You and your damn chivalry. It might be what got us in trouble in the first place.”

Nicole grins. “Is that so?”

Waverly walks back to her, going up on her tip toes to brush her lips against Nicole’s cheek. She pauses just by her ear to whisper “It is so.”

She gives a deliciously coy smile as she pulls back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You take care of yourself out there cowgirl, you hear?” And then she’s walking away, and Nicole watches her dash through the rain, side stepping the puddles until she reaches the house.

Nicole blows out a long breath, dropping her head back between her shoulder blades.

God she is such an idiot.

The smile that comes to her lips as she replays the last ten minutes tells her she doesn’t care.

And just like that, Nicole knows the next thing on her list today is a very long, very cold shower.