I couldn't go back to our apartment after seeing all that. No, not our, his apartment. Because exactly what I assumed happened - I would go all-in for us to make it work and he wouldn't be able to handle our relationship, leaving me a mess and "homeless". And now I'm exactly where I didn't want to be. Stuffing essentials and work clothes in my small suitcase with big fat tears smearing my cheeks and deciding whether to go to my mum's place or my sister's. But there isn't really a choice. I can't let my mum see me like this, and Becca knows the situation far better. Brian is another story, however. He'll be furious.
I gather my things as quickly as possible, dreading seeing him come home and just as much scared of him not coming after me. I'm already confused, but I know him not fighting for us will shatter me completely.