Chapter 12

It has been four days since our intimate encounter at my place and I haven't heard a word from him.

I felt my comment was somehow too harsh and I could've wrapped it up nicer, but at the end of the day, I was justified to be worried.

He was known for having a lot of women around him, and let's not forget about Serena and the girl from the club.

All this was rational in my head, so I can't wrap my head around why I feel like I screwed up.

I've had an amazing time with him, it felt like never before. We were so in sync like we know each other for years, our bodies were craving each other touch and it felt the most natural thing to listen to his thrumming heartbeat when he was lying on top of me afterward.

Things like this don't happen often, at all.

Even the relationship and sexual life I had with Scott seems inconsequential and silly now comparing to Jake. He officially blew my mind. This is probably the reason why I called him almost every day since without knowing what precisely to say. But I guess the fear of being hurt again just kept me back and each of those times I put the phone down before it started ringing and hit my head in the wall a few times. Needless to say, it didn't help much.

Today after work I'm meeting Michael. There is no escaping him anymore; he's waiting for me to spill the beans. And to be honest, I wanted to talk with someone about it.

I was chatting with Hanna and she was all supportive in you-are-right-he's-the-asshole kind of way. But it would be nice to hear a guy's perspective on things.

Mike was still young, but his life made him wise beyond his age and I valued his opinion a lot. On top of that, since we were kids we've always told each other everything and I've missed this. His "absence" after the tantrum of his parents splitting cut me deep. The fierce protecting love I have for him is reserved only for my closest-closest people and it was heart-breaking watching him hurt so much.

We met at a small coffee shop downtown that was one of our favorite spots. He came straight from school and both of us were carrying heavy bags when entering. We've collapsed on the chairs and almost begged for coffee.

The fresh smell of hot drink put in front of us was like a blessing and both of us sighed with enjoyment. We would kill for a good cup of coffee anytime.

"So doll, how's Jake?" A grin spread on his entire face.

"Right to the point, eh?" I rolled my eyes at him and he chuckled.

"Come on, you know you want to tell me." His smile was still firmly placed on his mouth. The cheeky boy.

"Ok, you are right. I was dying to tell you what's happening. But first, I want to hear what's up with you. Any novelties I'm not aware of?"

His cheeks turn slightly red and I jump up in my seat, "AHA!".

I knew I hit the right spot.

"So, who is she?"

"Who said anything about a 'she'?

"Oh please Mike, I know you better than you know yourself. Or is it a 'he'?" I winked at him and laughed out loud at his incredulity.

"OMG, you are the worst." He shook his head, but his smile was still showing. With a deep exhalation, he continued.

"Well, okay. She is the same year at school as I am. Her name is Melanie. And we sort of started dating." He blushed some more.

"Aaaaaaa, how does she look like? So she's the same age? When will you introduce her? Omg OMG, I can't wait to see her. She must be a cutie."

"Woah, slow down. Don't get overexcited. It's nothing serious yet and I'm not introducing her anytime soon."

"Yeah right. You don't need to take her home, but you are introducing her to me. If she managed to catch your attention enough for you to mention her, then she must be good. And I need to approve before you continue."

"Haha, you are seriously crazy, sis!" We were always more brother and sister than nephew and aunt.

"But stop changing the subject, I'm listening."

Now it was my turn to take a deep breath.

"So, Jake and I... well, we kind of met randomly in a coffee shop before I actually knew who he was. And I was drooling all over him. Well, at least until the obnoxious Serena joined the party."

"Obnoxious Serena? Jealous much?"

"Oh, shut up." I rolled my eyes again and he started laughing.

"So, after meeting him at the engagement party we kind of ran into each other a few times and there was just this tension between us. But he didn't want to be involved in anything because of Brian, and I sort of just played tough, saying I don't want anything with him."

He was looking at me, listening attentively while sipping coffee.

I gulped a big sip of my coffee and continued.

"Then on Halloween night, we were at the same club and I got a bit drunk. Well, a lot drunk."

"I don't doubt that." I slapped him on the shoulder for this comment and he looks at me in mock shock.

"Well, on that night we messed around but got interrupted before it could get serious. And then he just sent me home like I'm some piece of luggage."

Mike scowled.

"However, he apologized later, asking for a chance to explain. I gave it to him and he brought me to his home."

"Oh, doll, did you get some action?" Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at me.

"Just shut up already, big mouth." I smiled anyway. "But no, he was giving me mixed signals, one moment wanting me, the other telling me we can be only friends. So I've had enough and left his place, saying I'm not playing his games anymore. This was it, until... Brian's birthday dinner."

Now it was his turn to 'AHA' me. "I knew something was happening."

"Yeah well, I didn't plan on anything. After I dropped you, guys, home, I reached my place and he was there, waiting on my doorstep." I took another sip of the coffee, buying time before revealing the last time I saw him. Mike motioned with his hand to continue.

"So, we started kissing and it got all heated and we went inside and well, we had sex." I shut my eyes with embarrassment.

He started laughing. "So you did get some action. It was about time after that Scott idiot."

Mike never liked him, no wonder.

"Yeah, it was, ehm, mind-blowing." I felt a bit weird discussing these things with him. He was still my family.

"Don't be embarrassed, I'm not a little kid anymore. What happened then? Are you guys together now or what?"

"Quite the opposite. He left mad because I accused him of being, well, a man-whore and I asked him if he was checked out for any diseases."

Mike cracked from laughing, almost falling off his chair.

"Come on, you idiot, it's not funny. But it is kind of true. I mean, you've seen him with other women as well."

"Yeah, but you don't say this to a guy seconds after he came. I'm glad that you are trying to be careful, but you could put it out there a bit nicer. And like, later."

"Well, we kind of forgot to use a condom, so there was really no other way of saying it."

He looked at me with amused shock. "You forgot a condom? You are crazy. What is it with this guy that you lose all rational thinking?"

"I don't bloody know. But I'm hopelessly attracted to him. He said he'll get checked out and left the apartment. And that was the last time I saw him. "

I moved nervously on my chair, while Mike was just looking at me, thoughtful expression shadowing his face.

"So, what do you think? Should I contact him? I mean, I still want to know if he got checked out, but I feel a little bad for saying it like this."

"It's been now, what? 4 days? I think maybe you should do the first step. You obviously hurt his ego, so he won't take it easy. Just ask him if you could talk. Do it in person. And if things go well, maybe you get some more action." He lifted his eyebrows suggestively. I smile.

"Just use the condom next time. "

"Oh God, this is embarrassing. Thanks for talking with me though. I think I'll call him in the evening. I've missed you, baby boy." I reached across the table and kissed his cheek. "I love you the most, you know that right?"

"I know. Same here, doll." We finished our coffee and got up. I gave him a tight hug and we went our separate ways.

I felt lighter after talking with him and I decided it's time I stop hiding and put myself out there. And if nothing else, at least I want to know if I need to crush his balls for giving me any kind of disease. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself as an excuse to contact him.

--

By the time I gathered my courage and call him, it was almost evening. And since I've waited so long, I decided to just go and pop up at his place, hoping he's home and just talk face-to-face. It's how I should do it anyway.

I stopped in front of his building at 7:45 pm. Taking a deep breath, I entered the building and take the elevator to the 18th floor.

When the doors open, I slowly move to his front door, breathing heavily and trying to calm down my racing heart.

I mean, what's the worst thing that can happen? Either he will be too proud to let go of the comment I made, or we makeup and repeat the wild sex (my heart started beating faster at that thought), or he'll tell me he got checked out and something's wrong. Either way, at least I'll know where I am, which is surely better than the state I am right now.

I take one more deep breath and knock on the door. I hear some movement, doors opening, and closing, and then footsteps start approaching. The doors open quickly with force and my jaw drops at the sight in front of me. Jake is standing there in his sport shorts that hang loosely on his hips, showing a slight line of his boxer briefs. His hair is tousled like he just got out of bed and he is, magnificently, shirtless. How am I supposed to concentrate when he is standing in front of me like this, gloriously sexy and oh-so-fuckable? Fuck fuck fuck.

His eyes open in shock when he sees me standing on his doorstep.

"Jessica?? What are you doing here?"

Uh-uh, not very welcoming. Finally, I gather my scrambled thoughts and force the words to come out of my mouth.

"Uhm, sorry I came unannounced. I hope it's not too much inconvenience. I, ehm... kinda' wanted to talk to you and if I didn't see you in person, I would probably chicken out."

I give him a nervous smile and his eyes get slightly gentler at my obvious discomfort. He remains silent though. He runs his fingers through his hair, making it even messier.

"Do you mind if I come in, or...?"

He gives a quick glance behind his back and then looks at me. "Can you wait a minute? I'll just put on some clothes and we can grab a coffee across the street."

Ok, obviously he doesn't want me to come in. Maybe this was a bad idea. Probably he already forgot about me. Or somebody else is here with him. Shit, does he have a woman here?? Stupid little girl.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I shouldn't have to come. We can talk later. Or not. It's fine."

I've started blabbering; I need to run away from here as soon as possible. However, he grabs my hand before I could make my escape.

"Don't go, please. I want to talk to you as well. Just, maybe not here. We'll discuss everything later. Please. Just give me a minute."

After a few seconds I gave him a reluctant nod and he disappeared, leaving me standing in front of the closed doors.