22. Innocent Until Proven Snitching

AN: A request from Geo Soul that combines elements of "A Tattler's Tale" and "Sleuth and Consequences".

On a Friday, the Loud siblings gather together in the two oldest's bedroom as expected. What's different about this Friday is that the kids have returned their respective schools and it's officially the start of their winter break. They're celebrating by sharing a batch of Christmas-themed sugar cookies Lynn Sr. made for them.

"Here's to a whole week off!" The middle child raises her cookie as a toast before biting into it.

"You know, it used to be two weeks!" Loki looks up from his phone and says with a mouthful. "But I guess the school system wanted to screw you over even more." He swallows and goes back to texting.

Loni enters the room with a glass bottle and plastic cups. "Guys, have you tried this? It's delicious!"

Loki drops his phone out of shock and stands up from his bed. "Dude! What are you doing bringing that shit to a bunch of kids?"

"It's actually non-alcoholic apple cider. I wouldn't expose alcohol to my little siblings." Loni explains as he's pouring cups for them. "What do you take me for? Some kind of jackass?"

"Very much." Lynn answers and takes a swing.

Loki relaxes and sits back down on his bed. Linka passes him a cup. "Fine. It's just that I would literally die of embarrassment if any of you saw me drunk." He takes a sip from the cider.

"Oh, you drank before, Loki?" Lars asks.

"That news shouldn't be surprising." Levi answers. "If you recall corybantic festivity he threw this summer."

"But I never tasted a drop at that party." Loki argued.

"None of us did. That was all Loni." Luke smirked the designer's way. Loni looks down and blushes out of embarrassment then drinks out of his cup.

"I actually got drunk for the first time a few weeks after that party."

"Tell us what happened!" Leif exclaims. The rest of the siblings all clamor at once to persuade Loki to confess.

"What's the story?"

"You can tell us!"

"Start the new year with a clean slate!"

"Alright!" The oldest raises his hands to silence them. "But what I'm about to say does not leave this room. Lexx." He points an accusing finger his way. The young prince just scoffs offended.

"Winston and Danny came over this one time. We're all chilling then out of the damn blue, Danny goes, "I wonder what you act like drunk". Winston jumps on the bandwagon and they're literally pressuring me to get alcohol. I caved in but I wasn't about to go out and buy beer. So I got the next best thing: I raided Mom's wine collection from the mini fridge in her room."

"Oh no. You didn't." Linka comments.

"But I did. Stole a bottle and moved the three of us to the attic. It was drier than dirt on my first cup but I got used to it after my second cup and so on." Loki then groans as he puts a hand over his eyes. "I'm-I'm the emotional drunk. I remember hugging the both of them and bawling how I cherish these moments together before we all go to college or some crap. Winston played a sad movie on his phone and he said I continued to bawl throughout the whole thing." His siblings all laugh mockingly at him when he finishes.

"Go ahead. But if Mom ever hears about this, it'll be a fate worse than a hangover!"

"Don't worry, bro. You're not the only one hiding something from the rents." Luke tells him. Cue the choir of "oohs".

"After I got my learner's permit last month, I desperately wanted to get behind the wheel. So after dark, I took the keys to Vanzilla and went for a joyride with Cher. Everything was fine until I swerved and crashed the car into Mrs. Beaverton's white picket fence. Then a telephone pole."

"That crazy lady from down the lane? Her temper's shorter than mine!" Lexx says.

"I know. I begged her not to tell Mom and Dad and sent all the money I was saving for a new electronic keyboard to her. I made it home unnoticed but the hood was busted up!"

"I remember that. Do you know how long it took me to buff out that hood?" Leif complains.

"Sorry, man. But I got off scot-free."

"You think that's bad? I was in the living room practicing my windup, right?" Lynn starts. "I accidentally threw the baseball too high. It flew right into Mom's and Dad's open bedroom door and shattered Dad's disco ball trophy!"

"Oh no!" Levi gasps frightened. "The same trophy he won in the Royal Woods' "Dance Your Pants Off" contest?" The athlete nods in confirmation.

"If it makes you feel less guilty, I was the cause of the disappearance of Mom's bedspread. I was attempting to eliminate our tick problem at the time. Added too many drops of my own tick-free formula and KABOOM! It burnt to a crisp. And that bedspread was expensive!"

"At least you didn't ruin something of sentimental value to Mom. Like I did." Lars confesses. "I painted Mom's wedding dress black for my dark betrothal to Edna. She did look ravishing in it."

"Moving past the creepiness, remember when that Matthew kid's treehouse got vandalized? And he and his father came to our house livid and so sure it was one of us?" Lane asks.

"Oh yeah. Dad gave him some money for the damages just to get him to leave." Linka answers then realize. "That was you?!"

"Yes, ma'am. But seriously, he was a dick to me at school. He had what was coming to him."

"But you had a reason behind your crime." Loni says. "What's my excuse of causing the microwave to short-circuit, breaking it, then throwing the whole thing in Ms. Grouse's garbage can so it could never be found? And you guys believed we got robbed the next day."

"How did that happened?" Luke asks, astonished.

"I was making ramen."

"Wow. Loni, you should be studied." Loki comments.

"Way ahead of you." Levi answers.

"Well one time, Leif and I lied to Mom and Dad when we said we saw Blarney the Dinosaur movie." Lexx says. "Loki was with us that day, he bought us the tickets to it and left to pick us up after."

"Once he was gone, we snuck into the bathroom, Lexx got on my shoulders and draped Dad's trench coat over us." Leif takes over for him. "Along with a fake mustache and fedora. We walked in unnoticed to the theater playing the R-rated movie about talking food."

"We thought the rating was exaggerating. I mean, why is a movie about talking food only for adults?" Lexx asks.

The teenage brothers almost choke on their cookies from laughing so hard. The others just looked confused. "This-this is why you don't leave the twins by themselves, Loki!" Lane tells him. "Did you stay till the end?"

"We had a hard time following the movie as it is, then they threw that scene in our faces!" Lexx says.

"And to make matters worse, Dad served his hot dog bites that night. It was a puke fest in the bathroom!" Leif confesses and everyone laughed along with them.

"Don't act surprised, readers." Linka says. "You've been with us for quite a while and know first hand of the craziness we possessed. But the best thing is if you need to get something off your chest, you can always trust your siblings."

"Ok, Snow White, your turn." Loki tells her.

"Ok. Let's see, oh! This one time-"

"Linka! Can you come down here please!" Rita calls.

"To be continued." Linka says before leaving the room.

Linka meets Rita in the living room. "Yeah, Mom?"

"Did you forget it's your turn to walk Charlie?" Rita motions to the dog with her leash in her mouth, looking at her with a sad gaze.

"Oh! I did forget!" She kneels down and scratches Charlie's head. "I'm so sorry, Charlie. You're a good girl! Who loves you? I do! Let me get my coat first, then we can go."

Loki shifted where he's sitting and leaned back. "So to recap, I drank from Mom's wine collection. Loni broke the microwave and tossed it out. Luke crashed the car. Lane vandalized Matthew's treehouse. Lynn broke Dad's disco ball. Lars ruined Mom's wedding dress. The twins snuck into an R-rated movie. And Levi brunt Mom's and Dad's bedspread to a crisp. Anything else?"

"Oh! Oh!" Leif raises his hand. "So you know how Dad was yelling at Charlie for chewing up his boots? That was me!"

"Classic Leif." Loni comments.

"Wait a second, weren't those steel toe?" Lane realizes.

Linka did not return until after two hours since her departure. But the brothers did not hold it against her.

The next morning, the family gather around for breakfast. But the children could tell something was off about the parents. They were upset but didn't openly display it in front of their kids.

Lynn Sr. looks around the room. "Sons, we can all agree that we teach you guys to be honest with us. Am I right?"

The brothers agree simultaneously, unsure of what to make of this situation.

"Even if you mess up, we would want you to come to us right away. For example, if someone broke my beloved disco ball or the microwave." Both Lynn and Loni froze in their seats when their respective secrets were called out. The rest tried not to look at them so they wouldn't make it obvious who done that.

"Right. And we also teach you, no matter the circumstances, to not resort to illegal activities as a solution." Rita explains. "Vandalism, underage drinking and sneaking into a movie you didn't pay for. To name a few."

Now they were hitting too close to home. "Well, we wouldn't do stuff like that!" Loki defends. "Right, fellas?" The brothers hurriedly agree.

"Nice try." Lynn Sr. says. "We know all your dirty little secrets. All of you boys are grounded for a month! You can start off vacation by having your privileges revoked! Be grateful we bought your presents already."

The brothers loudly jeer and complain. "Can you at least tell us how you found out our secrets?" Lynn Jr. asks.

"We had a reliable source." Rita answers.

They all look confused by that statement. Then as if on a timer, ten pairs of eyes glared at the little white-haired girl. How suspicious that their secrets are out in the open and Linka remained innocent. Linka noticed all the stares and looked down at her food immediately, feeling uncomfortable. Yet she didn't miss Leon drawing a line on his neck in her direction.

After breakfast, the brothers were forced to give up their cell phones and retreat to their rooms. Loki, who needed to have a brothers meeting right away, use his resources to get the message out. He opens his bedroom door just a crack and stops Gina's hamster ball. He opens it and places a note inside.

"Hey, Gina. Want a treat?" He shows her the food pellet. "Go get it!" Loki throws it at the bedroom door across from them. Gina rolls over, hits the door with her ball causing it to open, and gets the treat. The thud sound from the ball colliding with the door gets Luke's and Lane's attention. Luke picks up the note and it reads:

Brothers Meeting now! We're not about to take this sitting down!

The hamster ball method works for the other three bedrooms. The rest of them quickly but carefully make their way to Loki's and Loni's room.

Loki shuts the door and counts everyone. "Ten. Ok, we're all here. Down to business, someone snitched on us! And it's literally obvious who it is."

"Yeah! Lexx!" Loni points to him.

"For once, no. It's Linka!" Lexx tells him. "Think about it, she was gone for like two hours yesterday. Plenty of time for her to rat us out!"

"Ok, we know who the rat is. But what do we do about it?" Lars asks. "We're all on punishment."

"Yeah. And when she came back yesterday, she didn't share what her secret was." Lane points out.

"We don't need a confession from her." Lexx explains. "All we have to do is dig a little deeper and find something that we can use against her. The second she's out of her room, we strike."

"She's currently in the living room. It's unknown how long she'll be there through." Levi deadpans, looking at a tablet that shows camera footage from one of the many security cameras he has hidden throughout the house.

"Nosy Levi for the win! I'm going out there." With that said, Lexx opens the door a crack then slips out. He tiptoes past the staircase and speed walk his way into his sister's room. He searches every nook and cranny of that small space and comes up short.

"Come on, Linka. I know you're not perfect. Give me something." He whispers, frustrated. Then, the little prince found a thin pink book with a padlock in between the space of the wall and her dresser. He remembers Linka mentioning a diary all the way back in chapter two. "She really kept a diary? She is a moron!"

Lexx clutches the book to the chest. He leaves the room, leaving no trace of his visit, and speed walks his way back to the meeting room.

"Look what I found!" Lexx says in a sing-song voice, holding it up.

"Good job, Lexx." Loki takes the book. "A diary? What is this, the 1900s?" He now notices the padlock. "Loni, do your stuff." He throws the book to Loni.

"Mm-hmm." Loni hums in acknowledgment. He takes out a bobby pin from his pocket and picks the lock, successfully opening it within seconds. He throws it back to Loki.

Loki catches it with ease. "Let's see what we got here." He flips through the pages. "Wishes she wasn't so pale, Robbie Dan, my girls' funniest moments, Christmas list, plans for self-defense in gym class, us. Let's save that for another time. More useless shit. Ugh!" He screams in frustration.

"Guess we overestimate Linka's willingness to share her personal secrets in a journal." Levi comments.

"Don't be so sure, Levi." Loki smirks suddenly. "I couldn't find anything on the parents. But look at what she writes about her classmates." The rest gather around to read pages and pages of Linka's harsh opinions on the girls in her fifth-grade class.

"Oh, that's tough." Leif comments.

A lightbulb goes off in Lane's head. Then he smiles a smile that rivals that of the Grinch. "You know, it would be wrong to keep this information to ourselves. Those girls have the right to know."

"You mean, share these pages of Linka's diary to the girls she trashed?" Luke asks.

"On the nose."

"Dude, that is petty and shady on a whole new level." He criticizes then immediately perks up. "What's the plan?"

Sneaking out of the house was the easy part. The challenge was going around Royal Woods by bike (or mini-Jeep). The brothers sent Lynn, Lars, and the twins to deliver ripped-out pages of Linka's diary to its corresponding girl. With the earpieces and headsets courtesy of Levi, the brothers who stayed behind directed them to the houses since the teenage brothers knew the older siblings' of the girls. And because it's a small town, they knew the addresses, mostly because they've been invited over in the past.

Yes, not everyone has a sibling, that's why the twins went along (besides the reason they have a Jeep). They're going by memory from the times they went around town performing "help thy neighbor" tasks for the Blue Beaus. Specifically, they're hitting the houses where they remembered only children lived.

The brothers on the road deliver envelopes that had the girls' individual roast to their mailboxes. The envelopes had Linka's name scrawled on the front.

"We're done in our perimeter, Levi." Lexx says on the earpiece driving away from the last designated house. It's been two and a half hours since everyone put this plan into action.

"So is Lynn and Lars. Return home." Levi responds.

"Copy that. Over."

"Hey, Lexx?" The older twin asks. "How do we know if we went too far?"

"Honestly, that depends on Linka's reaction."

The four brothers made it back home without suspicion. All that's left to do is wait it out. A mere half hour after the boys' revenge, Linka retreats to her room. Having returned from washing her hair. Fully clothed, she checks her phone for updates.

"Jesus, I am blowing up!" Opening her messages made her slap a hand over her mouth in a frighten state. It was insults and minor threats from girls in her fifth-grade class. Even messages of disappointment or betrayal from her inner circle. She had no idea what she had done to piss off everyone. But the message that made her sit down to avoid collapsing was the DM on her Swifty Pic from Chandler. She is the rudest and meanest girl in the 5th grade, she's worse than Heather!

Do you honestly think you could get away from calling me a "the fakest skank in Royal Woods"? That "even my parents must be ashamed of how much of a bitch I turned out to be?" If that's how you feel, meet me and all the girls you insulted in Ketchum Park at 3! If not, we'll find you!

"Wait, the only time I called her all that was in…" Linka jumps off the bed and looks in her hiding place for her diary, only to find it wasn't there. She let out a shrill shriek and dial Claudia's number.

"Claud! I got a code-"

"Chartreuse. All the terrible things you said about the girls at our school are out in the open. I know. I didn't think when we made that code you would have stuff to say about me."

"Claudia, I would-"

"Don't you dare say "I would never". Does the phrase "the weakest person I know" ring any bells? Or maybe "too skinny?" Did you forget I kicked your butt that one time?!" Claudia pinches the bridge of her nose to keep her from spiraling.

"My advice to you is come to the park and get your just desserts over with. Yes, I know about the park. Chandler has been spreading the word around." Claudia hangs up with that. Linka checks the time on her phone, 2:45 pm.

In a panicked state, Linka runs downstairs and locked the front door. Then close the blinds behind the TV, temporarily blocking her brothers' view of it.

"What's the problem, sis?" Lynn asks, feigning innocence.

"Guys, it's my worst nightmare come true! The girls in my grade know all my secrets I kept in my diary! My diary's gone! And everyone's pissed at me!"

Lane snorted quietly. "Wow. It's not fun having your secrets out in the open now, is it? How does it feel?"

"What are you talking about?"

Lane throws her diary at her. Linka catches it and sees the section where the pages are torn.

"You-you-!"

"Go ahead and say it, Link!" Leif says. "We went through your diary and deliver the pages to every single chick you insulted."

"As revenge for not keeping ours." Loni says.

Linka feels her throat and eyes burning from all the emotions she's bottling up. "You guys think I told Mom and Dad your secrets?"

"Well, all evidence point to you being the culprit. You were gone from the meeting place for two hours." Levi explains.

"I was walking Charlie!" Linka's voice cracks.

"Likely story." Lars comments.

"We got no sympathy for the devil." Luke says. "It's messed up that you won't admit to your mistakes."

Now Linka allows the tears to fall. "No! What's messed up is that there was no confrontation, no questioning, you guys just automatically assumed that I did it! And that justifies pulling this shit on me?! If it was me, I would be apologizing my ass off! Our Secrets club was built on trust, but I guess that meant nothing to begin with! And why should it?! As long as you could blame someone when things go wrong!"

The boys glare soften into guilt throughout her rant. Linka unlocks the door and opens it.

"Where are you going?" Loki asks.

Linka wipes her eyes and stares at them in anger. "Thanks to you guys, my classmates are out for blood. They said if I don't go to them, they're coming for me." She slams the door close.

"This played out a lot differently in my head." Lane says.

Rita emerges from her bedroom. "I heard the door slammed. Where's Linka?"

"She stepped out. We did something terrible." Lars answers.

"Uh, Mom? Be honest. How did you hear about our secrets?" Loki asks.

"Don't you remember? You called me last night."

"What?! I didn't have my phone in my hand!" Loki thinks back to last night then his eyes widen. "Wait a minute!"

Loki shifted where he's sitting and leaned back. But unknowingly to him, he was sitting on his cell phone and accidentally speed dial his mother's number.

Rita was typing her novel when she heard the phone ring beside her. "Loki?" She wondered why was he calling when he's only a floor above her. She answered anyway but before she could say a word, she heard the confessions.

"So to recap, I drank from Mom's wine collection. Loni broke the microwave and tossed it out. Luke crashed the car. Lane vandalized Matthew's treehouse. Lynn broke Dad's disco ball. Lars ruined Mom's wedding dress. The twins snuck into an R-rated movie. And Levi brunt Mom's and Dad's bedspread to a crisp. Anything else?"

"Oh! Oh!" Leif raises his hand. "So you know how Dad was yelling at Charlie for chewing up his boots? That was me!"

She hanged up and called for her husband. "Lynn!"

"I was sitting on my phone! I must have butt-dialed you!"

"Oh my God!" The rest of the brothers say in unison, ashamed.

"Come on, we gotta get to Linka!" Loki tells them. He hands Leon to his mother and the nine of them went out the door.

"What do you mean "get to Linka"? Where are you guys going? You're still grounded!" Rita calls out to them.

"Sorry, Mom!" Loki, the last one out, says. After grabbing Vanzilla's keys. "But we literally made a horrible mistake and Linka's paying for it! You can punish us even harsher if you have too." With that said, he shuts the door.

Linka arrives at Ketchum Park, five minutes after three. She's immediately seized by two of Chandler's friends, or lackeys for lack of a better term, and they bring her face to face with the red-headed diva herself. Linka is surrounded by fifth-grade girls carrying bars of soap and socks. Even Claudia, Riley, Zara and Leah are there.

"Layla Loud. You are charged with writing mean comments about everyone here. How do you plead?" Chandler exclaims.

"It's Linka Loud! Just get it over with, Chandler!"

"You're impatient? I could be drinking hot chocolate and watching holiday movies right about now!"

"This is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you." Riley says.

"How's that possible when I'm getting punished?" Linka questions.

"You know what I mean!"

"I really don't!"

"It's hurting my insides."

"F your insides!"

"Enough!" Chandler screams to end the argument. "You know what has to happen Layla: Sock bath! Everyone wash Layla with the soap and dry her off with the dirty socks!"

The girls do just that. Ok, this is less severe than having punches being thrown at her in every which way. But that doesn't mean it isn't bad considering the fact that Linka's skin is dry and they're rubbing dirty socks in her face. It's enough to make her squirm and kick but she feels her legs restrained.

"Get off my little sister before I turn all of you into human pretzels!" A booming male voice interrupts the scene. That could have only been Loki. The girls stop their soapy assault, drop Linka, and back away from her when the nine non-infant Loud brothers make themselves known. They stand either to the right or left of her.

The girls obviously knew of the Loud Brothers' tendencies to behave violently when messed with but that doesn't stop Chandler from speaking up. "What are you guys doing here?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" Loni tells them. "Obviously, we're here for our sister."

"We're like wolves, we travel in packs." Leif says.

"And we got a mean bite." Lexx finishes.

"Well, this still doesn't involve you!"

"Oh, but it does! You see, we're the ones who wrote all that stuff about you!" Lynn explains.

"You did?!" The fifth graders say shocked. Linka covers her mouth in astonishment. They're taking the fall for her.

"But you guys don't even know us." A girl spoke up.

"You forgot that half of us go to the same school as you guys." Lars responds.

"And us teens know your older siblings and they told us plenty of stories about what brats you guys are. Judging what we walked into, they're right." Loki explains.

"It was a ploy to make it look like Linka wrote it by yours truly," Lane explains. "So if anyone deserves to be beaten, it's us. Unless you want to get your season's beatings." He jokes.

"We dare you." Lynn says. "In fact, I'll give you the first shot, go ahead." Lynn turns his cheek towards them. But no one was dumb enough to fall for that. "That's what I thought. Now get the hell out of here before we all beat your faces in! MOVE IT!"

They don't need to be told twice. The girls scatter and ran out of the park. They probably didn't stop until they reach home. Only ones left were Claudia and her three ginger friends.

"We're really sorry we jumped to conclusions," Claudia explains, helping her up.

"Yeah, we completely overreacted back there." Leah agrees.

"Meet up after the holidays?" Riley says.

"Sure." Linka responds. The four of them wave goodbye as they walk away. She then turns back to her brothers.

"How did you find me?"

"Tracking device." Levi answers, showing his phone-shaped devices for the tracking chips he installed in his loved ones. Nosy Levi: two points.

"Linka, we're really, really sorry for thinking that you snitched on us." Loni says sadly.

"Turns out Loki butt dialed Mom when we were sharing secrets." Luke says. "We should have given you the benefit of doubt."

"We royally messed up. And sorry for going through your diary and tearing it apart." Lynn says.

"You know guys," Linka begins, her blue eyes shadowing. "This is like the fourth time your mob mentality almost ruin things for me. And it's not fair to me or the people you affect. I forgive you guys but I'll never trust you again."

"What? But we're family! You have to trust us!" Lane tells her.

"Oh, I trust you. I trust you to be the people I can't trust."

"But how are we going to have our Secrets Club if you don't-"

Lars interrupts Loni, "Oh! I get it." The goth stands next to Linka and puts her arm around her. "You accept our flaws. Therefore, you accept our true selves."

"Yeah!" She smiles softly.

The other brothers gather around the white-haired girl. "So we're good?" Leif asks.

"Of course we are. You know I love you guys. And, thanks for coming back for me." They share a group hug.

"Ew, you reek." Loki tells Linka, chuckling.

"Uh, I hate to break up the moment, but we're still grounded." Levi reminds everyone.

"Right. Let's go before we get our asses whupped." Lane says and they all walk toward the car.

Back home, all the siblings are in the living room decorating for the season. Lars and Lexx came downstairs toward their sister.

"Hey Linka, I recently found a hardcover notebook I never used. I want you to use it for your new diary." Lars says.

"I painted it pink like your old one!" Lexx says. He gives her the book with his paint-covered gloves.

"Thanks, guys! That's really nice!" Linka hugs her little brothers.

"And we promise to keep our noses out of that book!" Lynn says from his place on top of the ladder, hanging up the ribbons.

"Has anyone else thought that maybe the siblings of those girls might come for us now?" Luke asks.

"Let them come." Lynn says.

"Yeah, we'll deal with them after vacation. As long as Linka is ok." Loki responds.

"Well Readers, in our crazy Loud House way, all's well that ends well." Linka concludes.

"Wait, I'm still confused about what she said at the park!" Loni exclaims. "Can someone please explain it to me?"

AN: Thanks for reading and Happy Holidays! If you were expecting a true Christmas chapter, you could always go back to my rewrite of "11 Louds of Leapin'" on chapters 9 and 10.