Chapter 12

** So much dialogue from the show **

"I'm gay."

Alex can feel Kara's body freeze up beneath her. She lifts up her head so it's no longer on her sister's shoulder and looks up at Kara. Alex notes with relief that she looks more surprised than anything else.

"So you're..." Kara trails off.

Alex takes a few seconds longer than usual to respond and uses that time to try to calm herself.

"Yeah," she says breathily.

Kara turns to look at her, a confused expression on her face. "So what brought this on? Why tell me now?"

Alex didn't expect this question, not before others like 'how did you know?' or 'are you sure?' or 'wait but you've dated boys' or something like that.

"I kind of like someone." She answers and watches as Kara looks at the wall behind her instead of at her. She nods in response but says nothing. "Are you not okay with this?"

That makes Kara's eyes widen and she finally looks at Alex, who's starting to lose the fight against her anxiety and panic.

"What? No!" Kara cries out. "I'm so okay with it!"

"Are you sure?" Alex challenges, mentally trying to beat away her emotions with a stick. It's not working well, if the tears that are forming in her eyes are any indication. "Because something's wrong."

"No there isn't!" Kara retorts but deflates when she sees Alex's glistening eyes. "How can you tell?"

Alex taps the space between her eyebrows. "Crinkle."

"Crinkle," Kara groans. "It's not that you're Alex." She reassures her, raising an arm like they've done so often. Alex hesitates for the first time in a while. "Come here," Kara asks. "Please."

"Fine," she says softly.

Alex relents and scoots closer to her sister, cuddling up against her side. Kara wraps an arm around her shoulder and kisses her forehead. Alex rests her head back on her shoulder.

"I just... I realized all the time we spent together talking about everything, growing up together... It's always been about me." Kara's tone gets even softer. "Me, my secret, Krypton, the person I liked that week." She smiles sadly. "There's never been room for you."

"Kara..." Alex says, trying to think of something to say.

Kara shakes her head. "Please let me say this Alex." She waits for Alex to nod. "I'm so sorry that I didn't create a space for us to talk about you, to talk about stuff like this. This is such a big thing and knowing you, you just went through it alone and didn't talk to anyone. And I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

"Kara." Alex murmurs, not as an interruption but both as a way of forgiveness and support.

She runs her hand through Kara's hair and listens to her as she continues talking.

"And... I know it's not the same at all, but." Kara hesitates for a moment. She continues talking slower than normal at first like she's unsure about how to word it. "I do know what it's like to keep a secret, to keep a part of yourself hidden. And I know how lonely that can be."

Kara's words feel like a blow directly to her heart and Alex chokes on her emotions. Her questioning of her sexuality had not been easy, she had been absolutely horrible to herself in hindsight. It was a low in her life where she tried to convince herself she was straight. Which didn't work. Obviously.

She lets out a shuddering breath and pulls away so she can look her sister in the eye. "I can't do this without you."

Kara wraps both arms around her. "You don't have to. I'm here, I'll always be here."

They stay there for a while until they both feel calmer. Alex wipes away the tears, sniffling and gathering herself. She stays where she is, though. It's too comfortable and comforting for her to want to move.

"So who's the girl? What's she like?" Kara asks curiously.

"It's um. Maggie." Alex says quietly.

If Kara didn't have super hearing, she would have to strain to hear her answer.

"Sawyer?" Kara gasps. "The knight? Your new partner?"

"Do you know another Maggie?" Alex teases. Kara pokes her in the side, making her giggle. "Yeah, that Maggie."

"Tell me about her," Kara prompts.

"You know Maggie, you've met her."

"I meant tell me what you like about her. Like how I gush about people." She nudges Alex playfully. "It's your turn to gush now."

"I don't gush," Alex scoffs.

She tells her sister about Maggie anyway, about how she fights, about how she looks, about everything and anything she can think of (that's PG-13 of course, she doesn't want to scar Kara). She talks to Kara until the wee hours of the morning and realizes she has to get up in like three hours to meet Maggie.

"I should go to sleep," Alex yawns.

It's going to be interesting tomorrow. She has trained herself so she can go a few days on little sleep but she doesn't like to be sleep deprived unless it's absolutely necessary.

"Alright. Night." Kara flops face first onto Alex's bed, scooting gracelessly under the covers and snuggling up to Alex. "And hey I just realized we can talk about girls instead of boys now!" She says enthusiastically.

Alex frowns. Her sister sometimes words things weirdly. "What does that even mean?"

"Well, we both like girls so we can talk about them now!"

That makes Alex a hundred times less tired. "Wait. You like girls?"

"And boys. Anyone really, gender doesn't matter. Everyone on Krypton is pansexual."

"Huh?" Alex lets out, completely dumbfounded.

"You didn't notice?" Kara cocks her head like a confused puppy. "Ever since I got here I've told you about people I like. They haven't always been boys. Like remember how I said I would want to date Lucy?"

Alex's mind is being blown. She thinks back over all of their talks and remembers how Kara has talked about cute girls and other gendered people, not just guys.

"Oh my god," she groans.

All this time she thought Kara had a bad gaydar but her own doesn't work well either. Which is further proved when she recalls how surprised she was the Maggie and Lucy slept together.

"Now that I think about it, you really didn't notice." Kara muses. "I always wondered why would push me to ask out the guys but not anyone else."

"I thought you were straight," Alex sighs.

Kara laughs quietly. "I once told you that I kissed a girl."

"I thought it was a fluke!" Alex says while Kara continues giggling. "Man, I'm so bad at this."

"It's endearing." Kara assures her as her laughter fades. She blows out the last candle that's been lighting the room. "Now come on, we both have a big day tomorrow and you need sleep more than I do. You have to get up before eight."

Alex grumbles for a bit but falls asleep relatively quickly. She's woken up by someone shaking her.

"Nooo," she groans.

Kara chuckles but doesn't relent. "Come on, sleepy head. I tried waking you up at seven but you were dead to the world."

Alex opens her eyes slowly, squinting against the light filtering into her room. She must have forgotten to close her curtains last night. Or more likely, Kara opened them to help her wake up.

"What time is it?" She asks, her voice raspy from sleep.

"Seven twenty."

Alex curses and gets out of bed. She gets dressed in what feels like record time and after a moment of debate she grabs the revolver her dad got her when she became a knight. She has only had to use it a couple times in the field but she never knows when having a long range weapon like this could be useful. It's much easier to carry than a bow or a crossbow, though when she can she prefers to use a crossbow.

Alex gives Kara a kiss on the cheek and wishes her good luck before she practically runs out of the room. She walks quicker than she normally does down the hallways but doesn't run. She only does that when something bad has happened and she doesn't want to worry the guards.

Alex heads straight for the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast before she goes to the DEO. She stops in her tracks when she sees Maggie in the kitchen, eating toast and sipping coffee.

Maggie looks up and smiles at Alex, who's looking at her in the doorway. She snaps out of her dimple induced haze when a cook asks her to move out of their way when they enter. She apologizes and enters, hoping her partner didn't notice her staring.

"Hey Danvers." Maggie greets as Alex cooks herself some toast as well. A chef starts making her some of her favorite coffee. "I didn't expect to see you here so late. I had you pegged as an early bird."

"I usually am," Alex admits. "I just stayed up late last night talking with Kara."

"How's she doing?" Maggie asks.

"We didn't really talk about it, but... She's worried. She has a bunch of people to support her if it goes bad, though. She will be fine." Alex answers.

Maggie nods. "I have no doubt about that. Plus, the people love her. I don't think she will have too many problems."

Alex sits down next to her with her food and coffee, reassured by Maggie's words. She sips her coffee and hums, relishing in the taste. She doesn't have it often, just when she's tired or when she needs something nice to make the start of her day better. Today, she needs both.

She and Maggie talk about some of their most ridiculous cases they've worked while they eat and leave together when it's time to head to the DEO.

A longer chapter than usual... Nice. Also, so much dialogue from the show. And it might not be perfect because it's all from my memory (I've watched the Sanvers and coming out scenes SO many times). And I added in a little bit of my own questioning experience and what it was like for me! We didn't really get to see Alex question too much in the show, so I thought I should add it here! :) Thank you all for reading and for your lovely comments! Stay awesome!