Chapter 5. Funeral

In the distance, a bell rang to announce the end of the funeral. A group of people in black mourning robes bowed low and silent to pay their respects.

Slowly the coffin began to be lowered into the pit. Remesis just stared at the coffin. It was as if she still refused to believe that this was all happening in reality, and was just a continuation of a nightmare.

'In the end, I… couldn't change anything.'

Despite Remesis' best attempts to reject the cruel reality, but one thing was clear: the future had not changed. The girl had no choice but to accept that fact. Even though some things had worked out differently in this life, but some things also remained the same. In the end, the man who replaced Remesis' own grandfather still fell ill in the same way and passed away suddenly.

— Oh, my poor Mistress…

The maid standing next to Remesis was wiping her tears with a handkerchief.

She was concerned about the princess' condition at this moment, as she knew how dear the maester of the northern castle was to her.

— I'm fine, Julie.

Remesis squeezed the maid's hand tightly.

Maid Julie was in floods of tears again, as if the princess's calm appearance was unnatural. In fact, in this life, Remesis really rarely showed her true emotions. The girl was used to keeping everything deep inside herself. Even as a child, despite all the hardships and the impossible burden for a child, she cried only once. And now… Remesis still tried to remain strong. At least in the eyes of those around her, for whom she herself was a pillar.

When the last minute of silence was over, the earth began to be poured on the coffin.

Remesis clutched the hem of her black dress.

Even though Luven Ither had wanted to be buried in the south, in his family's ancestral crypt, his relatives had refused to accept his body. Last night, Remesis had finally received a long-awaited reply from them. The letter was rather cold in content. It said that Luwen should be buried in the north because he died as a servant of Fortress Nord, but Remesis read the inside of the letter. She guessed that the reason for the refusal was something else altogether.

In fact, the Iter clan simply didn't want to be associated with a relative who was in disfavour with the emperor. After all, the reason why the old man was exiled to the north was because he was accused of treason. Thus, these people were afraid of bringing trouble upon themselves.

As soon as Remesis received this letter, she first clutched it tightly and then tore it to shreds.

'People are so low.'

Even though Remesis couldn't fulfil Maester's wish to be laid to rest in his homeland, she tried her best to arrange a proper funeral for him here.

Remesis unknowingly approached the grave where the earth had been poured.

— Your Highness.

She shook her head as one of the workers who was covering the grave with earth turned to her.

— It's all right. Carry on.

The men started working again.

As the earth began to quickly cover the smooth coffin, Remesis looked at it, and in that moment time seemed to freeze around her. Many memories of her time with Maester Leeuwen flashed through her mind. The girl covered her face with both hands. He wasn't real family to her, but Luven Ither still treated her better than her real relatives.

Time flew by, and the funeral ceremony had already come to an end. When everyone else had gone to mourn the old man, Remezis squatted alone at the memorial erected in honour of the Maester's memory. The north wind continued to strengthen, but she remained motionless, staring absent-mindedly at the ground.

After all, all she had left now was.....

— A wife.

Remesis looked back at the sudden call.

Asil, the only one who was still here as well, stepped closer and covered her back with the cloak she was wearing. It was a cloak lined with wolf fur that the princess had made herself some time ago. As Asil covered her with this cloak, Remesis raised her head and stared at her.

The princess had the same expression on her face that she always had.

Was she sad or pretending to be? Remesis had no way of knowing. At any rate, Asil really had no particular reason to mourn the Maester's passing. After all, in both this and previous lives, they had never been close. Though Remesis had tried to change that, ultimately to no avail.

The girl even doubted that in her entire life, the princess had ever had a single person whose death she could truly mourn.

— Don't just sit there. Let's go back. It would be bad if you caught cold.

Remesis looked at her for a moment and turned away. She looked at the memorial tablet in front of her, engraved with the Maester's name.

— You don't need to worry about me.

— Wife?

— Your Highness, you may return, ' the girl said more coolly, 'I will stay here for a little longer and then I will return as well.

Hearing her words, Asil bowed her head. The woman hesitated for a while, but finally hesitantly opened her mouth:

— Wife, I mean… I don't know. Life is full of surprises.

Remesis raised her head again and looked at her. She noticed her golden eyes twitching for a moment. Apparently the princess was trying to find words of comfort at that moment.

— I don't know what to do. I don't know what I can do for you. However…

— …

— At least, I want to be by your side.

Remesis was silent for a moment. From those eyes looking at her, it was hard to predict her true emotions. Remesis didn't want anyone to comfort her at this moment, she just wanted to be alone, but she couldn't tell the princess to leave her again.

Suddenly Remesis remembered the time when Asil, still like an immature animal, had been childishly jealous of her for Maester Luven, and the old man had often laughed at it. It was the first time she had ever let her guard down, and tears filled her topaz-blue eyes.

Asil looked down at her for a long moment, and then, without a word, gently reached out and pulled her to her.

— It's going to be all right.

— …Your Highness.

The smell of icy wind came from the young woman who looked like she was carved out of winter itself. The princess slowly embraced her. Remesis held her breath, but nevertheless reached out and hugged her too, letting out a long sigh. Asil supported Remesis' back with both hands, pulling her tightly against her.

This was only the second time Asil had seen Remesis cry. And the last time she had comforted her had been completely inept, more like a puppy trying to lick away its master's tears with its tongue. But now a long time has passed, and things have changed.

— Wife, as long as we have each other, everything will be fine.

The princess continued to whisper softly in her ear.

Remesis, finding herself in the princess's arms, burst into tears of deep sadness. Asil didn't cry. She just cuddled her tighter. She continued to whisper in her ear until Remesis fell asleep, exhausted from the previous sleepless nights and crying.

— I…

No words followed after that.

***

For three days after the funeral, Princess Severa cried every day with heartbreaking grief. She had just had her first meal yesterday. She cried as soon as she woke up and before she went to bed. For a week after that, she cried occasionally.

It had been a week since Maester Luven's funeral, but despite that, the girl's body was still weak.

Remesis thought that it couldn't go on like this and she should go back to her duties, but she didn't have the strength to even stand up. After all, Remesis refused to see anyone right now.

She had not shed a single tear, despite all the hardships she had endured during those eleven years in the harsh northern land. And so it was now quite unusual for her that the princess, who admired the inhabitants of the castle for her steadfastness, could not pull herself together.

Otherwise, if the northern fortress had been left without an administrator for such a long period of time, things could have been really bad. But thanks to Asil's intervention, that didn't happen.

The princess was now handling both military affairs and paperwork at the same time, thus giving Remesis the time she needed to recover. And despite her somewhat wary attitude, Remesis was still grateful to the princess for reaching out to her at a time like this. 'Wife, you have worked hard enough already. You can rest as much as you need.' — Thus, all the affairs of Fortress Nord were now completely taken over by Asil.

Remesis, on the other hand, had been trying to come to her senses all these days: she had not expected the Maester's death to hit her as hard the second time as it had the first. Perhaps the mental fatigue she had been feeling lately, but had been hiding deep within herself, had also added to it. After all, even the staunchest dam has its limit.

Although Remesis had made it clear that she did not wish to see anyone anytime soon, the person who had disturbed her peace had shown up at her door sooner or later. The princess was forced to allow him to enter her chambers because it was Hannes Reitli.

— Princess.

The commander of the northern fortress knelt down in front of her.

— What's wrong?

Because Remesis' body had become so weak, she couldn't even get up from the bed and just sat down. The knight, after hesitating, still raised his head and looked at her carefully.

— I'm sorry to have to bother you at such a difficult time. And yet… There is one thing I absolutely had to report to you.

— Go on.

— Two days ago we received a letter that I thought only you were authorised to open.

Hannes handed her the envelope, and seeing the seal engraved on it, the expression on Remesis's face unconsciously became even worse. That dark blue imprint with the family crest was undoubtedly that of the Carter family. The girl recognised it at a glance. It was the first letter she had received from her relatives in these eleven years.

Although Remesis didn't yet know what it was about, she wasn't even going to read it.

— Throw it away, ' she ordered indifferently.

— Excuse me?

— I said I wasn't going to open it.

— But… — The commander hesitated: — Are you really sure about that?

Remesis frowned.

— I've already made myself clear enough. Do you need any more confirmation of what I said?

— This…

The knight paused briefly before adding something else to his words.

— The addressee of this letter is your elder brother.

— …

— Your second brother,'' he added hastily.

'What, this letter is from Livius?'

As soon as Remesis heard the name, her determination to throw the letter away immediately, or even tear it to shreds, diminished somewhat. Hannes realised that the princess's intentions had changed by the look on her face and quickly handed her the envelope again. This time, Remesis didn't take it so emphatically.

'Phew…'

Remesis took the letter the knight had just given her with a sigh. She then read its contents, which turned out to be rather short. Nevertheless, her topaz eyes, which had become like stones tarnished by constant tears over the week, flashed unusually bright.

Remesis Rania Ashelot sincerely did not believe that this day could ever come.

'Will… Am I really going to have to go back to the Carter Manor?'