A Kind Girl's Sorrow

The others notice Dean was acting frantic which was the first time for any of them. 

"Bro, who's Kat?"

"Why you're asking me bro? Probably some hacker chick who helped us with the lights and all."

"It's a rhetorical question dumbass."

"Why am I stuck with these two idiots", Bob mumbled as the two started bickering like an old couple. He then continued looking at Dean's back, but decided to give the young man some space and continue checking their surroundings. 

**

'It's okay Dean....everything's going to be okay.'

The image of a mature woman appeared in Dean's mind, the woman had reddish brown hair with brown eyes and wore glasses that didn't diminish her natural beauty. She was most likely injured as blood was flowing down one side of her head and one of the lens was cracked.

In the brief image, he could only see her face as the woman was smiling sadly as tears were flowing down her tired eyes.

That image was what mirrors Kat's current appearance as the once bubbly bright girl was smiling sadly with tears flowing down her eyes. She was sitting on her knees staring blankly into the distance, not acknowledging Dean's presence. The monitor showed Kat's war-torn surroundings indicating the intense fight she had with her former colleague, Rae.

Luckily she didn't appeared injured causing Dean to breathe a sigh of relief after processing her current condition, but....

Why was Kat smiling?

Dean didn't know as he still had the last image of his mother stuck in his head. He had a few brief memories of his parents but never of the incident that took their lives. Dean tried to get answers from Granny Judy or a government official, but they only said that the colony where he and his original family lived had an incident and the details were classified so he didn't know where or how.

Moments later, Dean brushed those thoughts away as Kat's current condition was more urgent.

"Kat....are you okay?", Dean's voice was calm and even had a hint of concern in his tone. He didn't know how to comfort a friend or even deal with someone in a emotional crisis. 

So, Dean did what he could from watching....researching all of the ancient movies and shows from the late 20th to early 21st century. It was his hobby as it was fascinating to research a time period where humanity was still divided, but united on many different aspects of culture especially when televisions and the internet came to be.

Dean knew he shouldn't refer to fictional works to deal with real life problems, but isn't fiction an imitation of real life?

But after asking that question, there was no response. He wondered if Kat didn't hear him or something was wrong....like she was somehow infected like Rae. Dean's thoughts turned dark once the idea settled into his mind, so he gripped his sheathe sword tightly until...

[Dean....I'm fucking useless.]

A high pitch voice whispered out to Dean. Kat's voice sounded defeated mixed with frustration as she turned to look at Dean and her sad smile shifted back to neutral.

The words that came out of her mouth caused Dean to frown a little, but he needed context to help Kat so only one word came out of his mouth.

"Why?"

'Why?'

That was the one worded question that echoed constantly in Kat's mind after Rae escaped from her grasp and shut the lights off for Ha-eun and her to escape.

She couldn't do anything about it.....no she didn't want to as Rae left several openings for Kat to exploit and potentially kill her. Heck Rae was practically begging Kat to end her misery as those black and red eyes of hers were flowing with tears.

Kat only knew about it as their fight continued in a draw which was strange because Rae was a better fighter than Kat due to her vast years of combat experience.

Originally Kat thought she was doing her best at stalling Rae until it became more apparent to her that Rae was intentionally holding back and leaving herself open at times for Kat to strike her down.

Every time Rae left an opening, Kat would either hesitate or at best do non-lethal attacks on her former colleague.

Rae even taunted Kat for her weakness, but she didn't see it that way. Rae's words may be malicious but her eyes contained untold sorrow and pain that begged Kat to end her before she unjustly kills another living being as it goes against a paxian's peace-loving nature. 

Once Rae escaped, Kat dropped to her knees as if the puppet strings were suddenly severed. There was a little relief that a piece of Rae was still looking after her like a big sister, but sadness that Kat couldn't do anything to free Rae aside from death. Then....

'Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?'

There was intense frustration at herself for letting Rae go and even causing Ha-eun to escape from Dean despite almost ending her. The word repeated itself in her mind ever since Rae's escape until Dean's question broke something in her.

[Why? It's b-because...]

Kat barely spoke those words out with difficultly at first then she spoke clearly what her inner self was feeling...

[....Rae was my senior co-worker and friend. I even consider her a big sister, because of how gentle and bossy she gets whenever Jen and I get into an argument over something useless. Heh, did you know Rae once told me she was planning on birthing a child after her contract with Ha-eun ended. She told me that despite her ripe young age of 38, she figured it was time to raise a kid and even retire back into our homeworld on the net.]

[That memory came to mind when I was fighting her. Rae left so many openings...so...so...many for me to take her out, because there was a piece of her still inside looking out for me like the big sister she is...or was. But despite that.....I COULDN'T DO IT, MY FRIEND WAS BEGGING ME TO KILL HER....TO END HER SUFFERING.]

What was once a whisper of sorrow and pain turned into shouting of anger and frustration in the next moment. 

[AM I JUST TOO WEAK AND USELESS TO END HER MISERY? OR AM I NOT COLD BLOODED ENOUGH TO KILL ANOTHER MEMBER OF MY RACE LIKE YOU HUMANS. HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE KILL EACH OTHER SO EASILY AND EVEN WITH A SMILE SOMETIMES? TELL ME DEAN!]

There was a brief silence as even the other three looked in Dean's direction.

While in front of Dean, Kat was huffing from her pent up self-frustration after it was flooded in front of him on the monitor. Her flared up emotions died down as Kat's eyes widen realizing what she said at the end.

**********

A/N: Damn Kat let it all out. Also let me know if you like the inner monologue. Personally I like it, but I might shorten it in the future.