Bombshell Beauty

"How long have I been clocked out?" asked Ohta, slipping on the tabi-like socks comprising part of his Shihakusho uniform.

"I don't know, something like seven hours?" replied Kukaku, lying on her side and using the nails from her left foot to scratch her calf, still naked as the day she was born.

Before Ohta could ask if she needed to prepare, Yoruichi, having already gotten dressed, remarked, "That ten-hour timeframe from before was just an excuse to give Ichigo and the others a chance to practice and improve their skills. There are still thirteen days until Rukia's scheduled execution, so there's no reason to rush things."

"..."

Though tempted to argue, Ohta remained silent and focused on getting dressed. He still remembered their conversation before getting sloshed, so while he wanted to fuck shit up, he had to be patient. Not for the sake of Kisuke's plan but to ensure that Rukia, Orihime, Chad, Ichigo, and even Uryu could continue their lives once the incident was over...

"Don't look so glum," said Kukaku. "Brooding expressions suit handsome guys, but you don't strike me as the genuinely sentimental type. Channel a bit of that beast from earlier this morning, and you'll have women eating from your palms."

"I already 'have' a woman like that, and she's a growing pain in my ass..." replied Ohta, directing his gaze to Yoruichi.

Contrasting Ohta's expectations, Yoruichi adopted a teasing smile and asked, "Oh, so I'm your woman now? News to me..."

"You're my cat," corrected Ohta. However, the damage had already been done, an alluring smile adorning Yoruichi's face as she mused, "Whatever you say..."

Before Ohta could retort, Kukaku pointed out, "Man, you two squabble like an old married couple. Either that or a cat and dog who managed to cross the line into an interspecies relationship. Seriously, just fuck it out..."

"You two make a dangerous combination..." remarked Ohta. "Remind me never to drink with you in the future..."

"Pfft, your loss..." spat Kukaku. Unlike Yoruichi, who seemed to have fallen face-first at Ohta's feet, she wasn't 'that' impressed with his performance. She wouldn't mind him dropping in to plow her fields every now and then, but she wasn't going to lose sleep over him being a moralist prude.

Stretching her body, Kukaku added, "Anyways, since we're done here, the two of you should check on those brats. Once the grumpy dandelion gets his shit in gear, I'll send your asses skyward."

"Grumpy dandelion...?" parroted Ohta. However, even without Kukaku clarifying, he had a pretty good idea of who she was talking about. Thus, after some additional back and forth, he went to check on the group of four's progress while Yoruichi stayed back to give Kukaku a piece of her mind...

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"Oh, Ohta-kun! You're back...!" exclaimed Orihime, noticing Ohta's arrival before anyone else. She had been able to form a perfect sphere on her very first attempt, so she was just watching everyone else, sitting off to the side with tea and snacks.

Instead of asking Orihime where she thought he had gone, Ohta gave a curt nod, replying, "Yeah." before asking, "How are things here...?" while looking over at Ichigo, sweating buckets as he barely got his Reishukaku to glow.

Smiling awkwardly, Orihime made the conscious decision not to answer Ohta's question, changing topics by asking, "How has life as a Shinigami been treating you? Do you ever get injured or feel overworked...?"

"Not really," replied Ohta, adopting a faint smile as he said, "I'm kind of a badass."

"I'll bet," agreed Orihime, striking a pose as she said, "According to Mr. Yoruichi, you can defeat hundreds of Hollows in a single blow! I've only ever fought one, and it took everything I had. Ehehehe~."

"Well, the first time is always the most difficult..." remarked Ohta, not intending to make an innuendo but realizing his words could easily be misconstrued as one. Fortunately, Orihime didn't appear to find what he had said odd, giggling girlishly before adopting a radiant smile as she replied, "That's good to hear. If every battle was as difficult as that one, I'm not sure I'd be able to hold up."

"Mmm..."

Not really in the mood for a bubbly conversation, Ohta simply hummed in response to Orihime's words while observing Chad and Uryu. The barrier produced by the former exuded a powerful 'static' while Uryu's resembled the pupil of a cat. It was extremely stable, but he was clearly accustomed to forming arrows and had little practice creating other shapes.

"Did you come here to check on Ichigo, Chad, and Ishida-kun?" asked Orihime, adopting a somewhat forlorn smile as she drew up her legs and rested her arms atop them like the previous night. She didn't like being ignored, but she understood that Ohta had far more important things on his mind than chatting and keeping her company.

"Something like that..." replied Ohta, noticing Orihime's melancholy and frowning as a result. He had enough problems with women without exacerbating matters by becoming friendly with the childhood friend of the one he had 'abandoned.'

Seemingly keen to exacerbate matters of her own accord, Orihime asked, "Can I tell you a secret...?" in a hushed voice.

"I can't stop you..." replied Ohta, mostly annoyed but moderately curious to hear what Orihime had to say. Information, especially if that knowledge was a 'secret,' could prove useful...

Stealing a glance at Ohta to see his reaction, Orihime revealed, "Tatsuki-chan has a crush on the other Ohta-kun..."

"..."

"She was really upset at first," said Orihime, returning her gaze to the front as she added, "But, after quarreling with him and forcing the other Ohta-kun to 'keep up appearances' by paying visits to her home, the two of them became much closer. Tatsuki-chan has been wanting to tell you so she can ask for your 'permission,' but she hasn't been able to find the courage..."

Though he had anticipated this exact scenario, Ohta was still caught off guard by Orihime's revelation. He didn't pay much attention to what his old body was up to, but he had heard from Rukia that he joined the men's karate team, immediately becoming the ace and most recently taking first place in the national tournament...

"Are you angry...?" asked Orihime, feeling hesitant and uncertain as Ohta's expression hadn't really changed.

"Not really..." replied Ohta, providing Orihime some semblance of relief by musing, "If anything, I'm relieved. If she's happy, I won't have to worry so much about her dropkicking me the next time we meet..."

Realizing that Ohta was making a joke, Orihime supplied a muted giggle. Tatsuki had entrusted her with discovering if he would be upset if she and his counterpart started dating. Now that she had received his answer, she had even more of a reason to return home safely.

Just to be certain, Ohta surprised Orihime by asking, "Was that the reason you've been behaving so strangely the past two days?"

"Eh...?"

Confused by what Ohta was talking about, Orihime asked, "What do you mean? Have I been behaving strangely...?"

"Well, we weren't exactly close before this..." said Ohta. "With how you've been behaving, I thought you might have developed a crush on me..."

As if hit by a paralysis spell, Orihime's smiling expression became as fixed as a statue. She didn't even appear to be breathing, and after about ten or so seconds, her remarkably fair complexion started to become noticeably ruddy...

"Oh, so you do..." noted Ohta, adopting a faint smile as he asked, "You do remember what we came here for, right? I'm already in a relationship with Rukia. Though, if I weren't, you'd definitely be up there in terms of girls I'd like to date..."

Though the truth was that he thought of Orihime as a bit of anchor, even after she gained her abilities, Ohta didn't want to crush her spirits just as they were about to enter a battlefield. He had also never seen what she was capable of, so there was a chance she could prove herself useful, so long as she could avoid being kidnapped or cannon-foddered...

Seemingly disregarding the first half of Ohta's statement, Orihime asked, "Really? Do you think I'm pretty...?" with visibly glistening eyes.

"I'm starting to think you're vain," retorted Ohta, adding, "You were the most popular girl in middle school and regarded as one of the top three beauties at our high school in the first month. There aren't many people who don't think you're 'pretty,' and those who do are more likely jealous..."

"I see..." replied Orihime, reaching up to massage the tension out of her cheeks, surprised by how hot they were. What Ohta didn't know was that she had been 'interested' in him since middle school. After all, he was the childhood friend of her best friend, a mysterious and handsome boy who seemed like he had a lot on his mind. She didn't start liking him until very recently, but the interest had always been there...

Earning herself a somewhat incredulous look from Ohta, Orihime asked, "Then, once we've saved Rukia and returned home, can we start spending time together? Not as boyfriend and girlfriend but as...colleagues who support and grow stronger together. I really admire your strength, Ohta-kun. You and Tatsuki-chan have always been amazing. I'm unsure if I can catch up to you, but I'd like to try. Will you...help me?"

Recovering from his brief stupor, Ohta cautioned, "You're dancing on a slippery slope..."

Adopting a narrow-eyed smile, head tilted slightly to the side, Orihime mused, "That's why I'm asking you for help. That way, if I ever slip and can't pull myself up, I'll have someone dependable to lend me a hand. I mean, you're willing to travel to a different world to save the girl you love. Even if we can never be more than friends, I believe you'd come to rescue me if I were ever kidnapped or in trouble..."

"I'd rather not..." replied Ohta.

"But you would come regardless," asserted Orihime, absolutely no traces of doubt within her obsidian eyes. In her mind, Ohta was the type of boy whose actions didn't match his words. Even if he pretended not to care, if someone he knew were in trouble, she was certain he would lend them a hand. No matter how grumpy he appeared while doing it...

"You're really overestimating me..." contended Ohta. However, instead of pressing the matter and insisting Orihime she was wrong, he added, "But, sure. If you ever get kidnapped, I'll come and rescue you. In exchange, if I ever get injured, you'll have to treat me free of charge."

"Why would I charge you...?" asked Orihime, tilting her head even further out of confusion. She never intended to ask for anything in return for her healing and support, so Ohta's words almost sounded silly.

Raising his brows, Ohta remarked, "Even in the Soul Society, those with an affinity for healing are rare and invaluable. I'm not going to tell you how to use your power, but if you run around healing people free of charge, that's what everyone will come to expect. Doctors charge exorbitant sums for a reason. Don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of..."

Giving Ohta the impression he was hitting his head against a brick wall, Orihime's smile brightened as she pointed out, "You're already looking out for me. Ehehehehe~"

Shaking his head, Ohta promptly decided to end the conversation, rising to his feet to see if the manor had anything to eat. Orihime had tea and a plate of milk cookies, but he never had much of a sweet tooth.

"Oh? Are you going on another scouting mission...?" asked Orihime, rising to her feet and following behind Ohta with her hands behind her back as she asked, "Is it okay if I come with you?"

"Just do whatever you want..." replied Ohta.

Giggling in amusement, Orihime left Ohta at a momentary loss for words as she playfully asserted, "If I did that, I'd have to apologize to Rukia for clinging to your arm without her permission..."

Muttering ("This girl...") within his mind, Ohta seriously considered getting the Soul Society's version of plastic surgery. Having a handsome face and muscular body was extremely convenient, but he was starting to believe he was too good-looking. Either that or a certain Auditor had 'cursed' him to have extreme luck with women...

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(A/N: Let's all get together to play Ohta a musical elegy on the world's tiniest instruments...)