Thirty-three

Two moons since my birthday has passed and I am beginning to notice a change in not only my moods, but my body. I'm slower, easily tired, and getting fat. It wasn't the kind of fat i'm used to seeing either. This fat was different, scary. Aspen says he doesn't notice anything at all, but June does. Roan does.

I finally begin puking for no reason whatsoever before my brother pulls me away from the village to go on a walk. We walk for five minutes befoe he turns to me with a grim expression. "Zahra, what i'm about to tell you is going to be both a shock and terrifying for you. All i ask is that you listen to me and try to not panic."

"Roan, I'm already panicking," i tell him with a dead pan look. "Whatever is happening to me must be stopped. I don't understand it, but i think i was poisoned."

He shakes his head. "Not poisoned."

"Then what?" i hiss. "I feel as if i might explode!"

He cringes as he groans out, "Pregnant."

I blink, processing the word. "Pregnant?" He nods, warily watching me through narrowed eyes. "Pregnant?" I say again, unable to find more words to express my shock.

"Yes. I know you don't understand everything about--"

I hold up a hand, cutting him off. Shaking my head, I try to think. How could I be pregnant? I've never been with anyone. I only just got comfortable with Aspen.

"Zahra?"

I step back from him. "Roan, I don't understand. How?"

"Well, usually a male and a female--"

Again, I cut him off. "I mean how could this happen, Roan? I haven't been with anyone!"

He cringes again.

I begin to have doubts. "Have I?"

"I was going to ask you. I know you don't tell me everything about your time with Lucas, but it's okay to tell me. I won't judge you."

My heart begins to race. "Lucas?" Now I'm panicking. "Lucas did this? He infected me!"

Roan shakes his head. "No, Zahra! Just listen to me for a minute." I stare at him, waiting. He puts both hands on my shoulders, eyes calmly looking into mine. "If you know what happens between males and females, then can you tell me if he did anything of the sort?"

"Roan, if he had, don't you think that would have been one of the things I'd have told you in the beginning? I told you how I killed Damon's family. I told you how I killed many families. That's worse than this. How could I not tell you?"

His face goes white. "You truly don't remember him doing anything to you like that?"

I shake my head. "No." My body begins to tremble and my eyes widen in fear. "I'm not ready to have children! Roan! I'm not ready to be a mother!"

He pulls me into his arms, embracing me tightly. "I know. We'll figure this out."

"I've made precautions. If you do go back, eventually, you'll come running straight back..."

"No!" I cry, pushing away from my brother. "No, no, no! This isn't happening!"

"Zahra, what's wrong?"

I reach for my head and begin to pull my hair, going insane from fear. "No, please, no!"

"Zahra?"

Hands on my face. Hazel eyes on mine. My brother watching me worriedly. "I can't go back!"