Fifty-seven

I cry.

I can't hold it in any longer. I just cry.

Roan comes over and holds me, apologizing for upsetting me, but I didn't want him to not tell me. I'm glad he told me. It meant that I wasn't going insane. I wasn't just making things up.

Soon, I'm out of tears and just shake in his arms. I never wanted him to leave. I never wanted to leave my brother. He was the safest thing I knew of. He was the only one I trusted.

"Let me see your back," he whispers after I've been silent for a long time.

"She didn't touch my back," I say honestly.

"But Marin threw you into a tree."

I sit up, surprised. "How did you know?"

Roan smiles. "I'm a hunter, Zahra. It's habit to look for clues." He shrugs. "Plus Finx followed you."

"He did?"

"He was going to step in when Marin appeared."

I frown. "Finx knew I was different, didn't he?"

Roan nodded. "Since Aspen and I were busy, he was looking after you. Just like June or Cat would have."

"My back doesn't hurt," I tell him. "Marin wanted me healed. He gave me medicine."

"Can I at least see for myself?"

I nod and turn, loosening the blanket so it exposed my back. Roan brushed his fingertips down my spine lightly, not saying anything and not going beneath the blanket. "Roan?"

"What is it?"

"Can you wait until we're home to look at my front?"

He stills. "Is it worse than your arms and legs?"

I look down. "I don't want to show you here. I don't want to be so close."

He adjust the blanket so I'm completely covered again. "Zahra, can you tell me what happened?"

"I don't know how," I whisper. "I don't know what words are efficient enough to describe what happened."

"Finx, please go out of range," my brother hissed. There was no response, but I knew the other man heard. He always hears. We wait for a long few minutes before Roan turns me around. "Try to tell me. It doesn't have to be completely accurate. Just tell me what you can."

I begin to tremble. The memories of the passed day raking my mind like a grander raking leaves. "She didn't just turn into other creatures and people," I start. "That was her game. It was when I lost that it became more."

"Game?"

"I had to be brave and not run or scream." I give Roan a wide-eyed look. "But I lost and she said she could do whatever she wanted to me for however long she wanted. And it was bad."

I told him about the children and eating their innards. I told him why Leilani cut me. I told him that when it wasn't good enough, when she got bored, she got a new idea.

"Roan, she looked like Lucas. And she cut my clothes off." I curl into a tighter ball. "She let my wrists go, but kept my ankles chained. Then she…she…she did what we think Lucas did." I gulp. "She put it in me."

Quickly, Roan pulled me into his arms and held me tight. "Oh Zahra! I'm sorry! Damn it, I'm so sorry I didn't find you in time!"

"It hurt, Roan. It hurt and I begged her to stop. But she kept going. She was laughing."

"Shh," he cooed. "No more. I don't need to hear more. You've told me enough for me to understand. I don't need anymore."

Relieved, I nod and snuggle into him. "I want to go home, though. I don't want you to look here."

"Okay. We can wait. I don't have to look yet if you think you can hold on for a few days."

I nod. "I can."

"Okay. Then let's rest. We can figure out more tomorrow."

In the morning, I am happily curled up with my brother beneath warm blankets, dressed in clean clothes, and safe. Completely safe in his embrace. I'm not afraid of him because Leilani would never have done this. I'm not afraid because Arian has always slept beside me if I asked.

I sit up and stretch, only to wince in pain as my abdomen still hasn't been checked. Neither has my lower regions. So, when I try to get up, that spot hurts too. I cry out and fall to the ground, out of breath from the agony I feel.

"Zahra!" Roan hurried over and takes me into his arms. "What hurts?"

I groan. "There."

He instantly understands. "Can I lay you down?"

I nod. "Roan, I don't want-"

He shakes his head. "I'm not going to try, Zahra. I just want you laying down so that you don't hurt more."

I allow him to lay me down, and after a long time, the pain ebbs a bit. Roan makes something over the fire and puts it into a bowl. When he hands it to me, I immediately shove it back. "No."

"It's not meat. It's just berries with a lot of juice."

Relaxing, I eat slowly.

"Roan?"

The voice is familiar. It makes my heart speed up. But I'm too afraid it might be a trick to react positively. Roan smiles. "What's up, Aspen?"

"June is fighting with him again."

I blink. Roan shakes his head in mock exasperation, but rolls his eyes for my entertainment. "What did he do this time?"

"Well, he said nothing, but June said he tried to get close."

I'm really confused, but don't speak. Roan clicks his tongue. "Hold on, Aspen." In a lower voice, he says to me, "June has been keeping Lucas from coming close to this tent because he wants you to help the children."

"But I just got back?"

My brother nods. "June has tried to explain that you need a little time before going out and about. Lucas is desperate though."

"I don't want to see him," I whisper. "I'm more scared of him now."

"I'm not asking you to, Zahra. I won't make you see anyone unless you are comfortable."

I nod, glance at where Aspen's voice had come from, then look back to my brother. "I want to see him though."

Roan smiled. "He wants to see you too."

I blush. "Will you stay?"

"I won't leave," he promised. Then called out, "Aspen, you can come in."

There was some rustling, then Aspen's body appeared through the flaps as he bent and entered the tent, then sat just inside. I look at him. I look for a long time.

He was the same. Maybe a bit disheveled, but the same. I know he helped me through the first half of Leilani's cruelty, and that he had tried to get me back when I had begun to fade. Aspen was there when I needed help.

Aspen smiled. "Not to damage what little progress made, but Roan, she's getting violent."

"He called her Ice Lady. I'd be pissed too."

"Yeah, well, he has a point."

Roan gives Aspen a scowl. "You know June doesn't like nicknames having to do with her gifts."

"But it's true!"

"She has the right to deny anything anyone names her."

Aspen rolled his eyes.

I stare. I can't stop. From the moment he started speaking, I knew who he was. But the teasing with Roan made it better.

I glance to my brother, who notices and gives me a subtle nod. I look back to Aspen and open my mouth, wanting to say something so he knew I was okay with him, but something else caught my attention.

I saw Marin. Somehow, I saw him on his wall with a torch. He was giving a signal. Then, arrows with blazing tips were shot.

I screamed, "No! Stop!"

"Zahra?"

"No!" I cry. "No, please!"

"Zahra!"

Someone was shaking me. I fought to get free, fought to stop what was about to happen. "No! I'm sorry! Please stop!"

"Zahra!"

Then, I was back in the tent, Roan holding my shoulders, staring at me with concern while Aspen was a bit shocked. I look into my brother's eyes. "He's going to kill us!"