Heart-throb(&)

"Grr....It's so fucking coooold"

My boots make a crunchy sound on the snow as I hide my hands in the thick brown coat and grumble to myself, shivering. I've always hated winter. I don't think there was a single year in my life that I've had a nice winter. It's always cold. And it snows all the time. I can't zoom on the freeway with my car to blow out some steam, which has been replacing my trips to the therapist for a couple of months, heh. I walk with a scarf tied around my neck before the sound of a couple of boys laughing catches my attention. I look up and see 4 boys at a distance from me, talking to each other and laughing, I guess, at a joke, while a particular one of them catches my attention, making my mouth open in awe behind my heavy scarf. There I see it. An angel in the form of a human.

He has black hair, making it turn slightly brown as the flock makes its way through the sidewalk, with the light of the lamp pole scattering across his head. The night sky and the combination of the streetlights compliment his high cheekbones and sharp jawline, almost making him look like a super-model as he goes in and out of darkness, before emerging in the light. My pace of walking slows down and my heart flutters as the group passes me. I come to a stop, as I hear the boys walk away. I slowly tilt my body, to get a glimpse of his silhouette, as something sharp catches my attention! I reach into my coat, and get my phone, zooming in so that I can see him in all his glory and sneakily snap a photo of him!! I walk away hurriedly, in a bid to not get ousted as a creep, before reaching my transit station after a couple of minutes. I make myself comfortable on the bench, and I pull out my phone. My hands shiver and my heart starts to beat faster as I open my photo gallery application. I tap on the latest image on it, zooming in on it, and my heart fucking melts.

His face was amazing already, but his side profile was just...mwah...the cherry on top. I cup my face with my hand as I lay down the phone in my lap, just mesmerized at the sight of this man. God, he's just so fucking cute. I wonder what he does for a job? I tap and zoom out of his side profile, seeing the big picture, before something catches my eye. I see an I.D. badge around his neck!

"S...Shit, my phone's camera isn't that good to capture the name of the office where he works. I...I should've saved up and bought that latest phone, since it was advertised solely for its zooming capabilities, huh.."

I start to see around the image as I spot his bag.

"W..Wait, it reads...MUT Institute...? Institute? Does that mean he's a student there? W...Well, that doesn't matter. I don't care if he's younger than me..! No man has ever made me feel that way, especially not just by existing! M...Maybe he also saw me? Like surely, he must've seen me, too right?!"

I think to myself, kicking my legs back and forth in a playful manner, excited that I've found my first-ever crush in my 25 years of a depressing life. I drown myself deeper in my delusions, trying to reassure myself. 

-

I creak my door open and a cold breeze fills up my small house. Mimi rumbles through what I'm guessing is the cat food bag by the plastic noise in one of the other rooms, and comes running towards me, welcoming me at the door. He starts making 8-type patterns around my legs as I close my door. I close the door and hang the keys as I kneel and pet the furball until my legs start hurting.

"Okay, okay, I'm closing up the food bag now, you've already had your fill for tonight."

Mimi grumbles and walks away in his in defeat as he realizes he isn't getting any food tonight. I chuckle and get up, sealing the bag tight so the kibbles don't go bad due to the moisture in the air.

I make my way into my cramped room, laying my bag gently against the wooden study table. I remove my coat, put a hook over it, and place it in my closet as I plonk myself into my chair, crossing my legs, putting one over the other. My eyes settle on the pile of notes I've stacked over this semester. All of that just to get totally burnt out just before finals week. That's exactly what I needed, huh?

"I just need to get through this last semester and pass the bar exam. Then I'll finally become a lawyer." 

But I don't think I've got it in me. It seems like I've been drained of my energy. I don't think I've ever been the same since the internship. Getting yelled at by my seniors and walking back to the court and between the firm all day long all while working overtime was something that I didn't know I was signing up for. 

 beeep

My phone buzzes, ticking me off even more. It's an alarm clock that I had placed right before I left the library to remind me that I still have to study once I reach home. I groan and unlock my phone before my face starts to feel red and I smile softly. This cutie's face is still there. I'd forgotten to close the gallery app as I was admiring him all the time during the bus ride home and just felt captivated by him. I put my phone down, and squish the sides of my head, with both my hands as I finally find motivation to study!

"I'll become a lawyer! And then find and marry this man!!"