Secret Crush(1)

Author:Yao Ling Er

1

Ever wondered how one could get along with a boy one had been having a crush on for three years?

Well, I was pretty crushed.

Jared Coulson's name was remembered by the whole of Grade 10 on the first day of school.

He was admitted to Primrose High School with the top score in the city.

He was chosen as the freshman representative to give a speech during the orientation. His handsome look, eloquence, and remarkable temperament had got him a lot of admirers.

It was as though he was the heavens' favorite creation.

Therefore, from the first day of Grade 10, Jared was dubbed as the campus hunk in our school. It was an indisputable statement that no one had any objection.

There was no distinction between arts and science classes in Grade 10 in our school. My classroom was on the second floor, and his classroom was on the first floor. There wasn't a chance for us to interact with each other.

Every time I went downstairs and passed by his classroom, I would always see a group of girls peeking from his classroom door.

In my heart, he was an idol who could only be appreciated distantly, and he would disappear completely from my life three years later.

But sometimes, the window of opportunity would open when one least expected it.

The school field days began in the second semester of Grade 10. I was not good at sports, so I didn't participate in any of them. Instead, I was assigned as one of the referees.

The student referees had no actual right to judge. We just ran errands for the teachers and helped athletes to solve competition-related problems.

I was in charge of the high jump team. When I met the athletes on the high jump team, I was surprised to see Jared among them.

That meant I would meet him every day throughout that week's field days.

After meeting the athletes, I briefly introduced myself to them and told them that they could ask me any questions about the field days.

Someone suggested adding me on WhatsApp for easier communication. Everyone took out their phones and waited for me to scan their respective QR codes. I glanced around and found that Jared had also taken out his phone and was waiting for me to scan the QR code on it.

Emotions surged in my heart. I couldn't believe that I had Jared's WhatsApp, but I still tried to maintain a calm facade nonetheless.

I greeted every athlete one by one on WhatsApp: [Hello. I'm the referee, Selena Bloom.]

I also received his reply: [Hello. I'm Jared Coulson.]

I was both excited and surprised that he would register to be on the high jump team. I thought he liked playing basketball. After all, whenever the basketball court was surrounded by a group of girls, I knew immediately that he was playing basketball.

At noon on the first day of the field days, I took the athletes to the cafeteria for a meal. He sat next to me, and everyone was talking casually about the field days.

Without thinking too much, I asked him casually, "Why didn't you sign up for basketball?"

He asked what was wrong.

I continued, "Don't you play basketball well? I thought you would register for basketball."

He looked at me with a faint smile and asked, "Have you ever seen me play basketball?"

Something in my mind snapped, and I felt my cheeks burning. I lowered my head to eat, feigning nonchalance. "No, I heard from my friend."

He continued to ask, "So you have friends who pay attention to me?"

I wondered why he found it strange that someone was paying attention to him.

Although I hadn't seen Jared play basketball myself, it was known to everyone that he played basketball. I didn't have to learn about it myself.

There was no way I would tell him that someone was even selling his photos.

One of his good friends who often played basketball with him was my classmate in junior high school. He once secretly told me that he could get Jared's photos if anyone ever asked for them. He could take them from any angle, and each piece cost 1 dollar and 50 cents.

I wondered if he could really make money that way.

Later, to my surprise, I found that more than one girl in my class had bought the photos.

I reckoned they must have too much pocket money.

It seemed that I just wasn't a good secret admirer per se.

I was probably just following the trend and had a little crush on an outstanding boy in school.

With this thought, I didn't think I liked him that much anymore. I could face him calmly now instead.

I chuckled and said, "A lot of people like you. It's hard not to hear your name around."

He thought for a while and said, "I don't think so. You're a good example, aren't you? You don't watch me play basketball."

I was dumbfounded.

Indeed, I was a failed secret admirer.

To avoid this embarrassing topic, I had to say, "You haven't told me why you registered to be on the high jump team."

He said, "Many from our class signed up for basketball. No one signed up for some of the other sports, so I signed up for a sport in which I thought I could excel. Consider it as a favor for our teacher."

He had a strong sense of honor in his class.

After a week of mingling with these athletes, I got acquainted with them.

I had a nodding acquaintance with Jared too.

In the blink of an eye, it was time for us to take a placement test.

Not only did we need to choose between the arts and science streams, but we would also be placed accordingly in the general class or the elite class based on our academic performance.

My grades in the arts and science subjects were similar, wavering between the passing score of the elite class and the top score of the general class.

I had a hard time deliberating over whether I should choose the arts or the science stream.

I did favor arts over science, but just a little more.

And I would have more major choices to further my study if I chose the science stream.

What surprised me was that Jared sent me a message, asking me whether I was choosing the arts or the science stream. I was flattered. I wondered if he was also having trouble deciding his future and therefore came to me to relieve his frustration.

I hesitated and said casually, "Arts, perhaps."

I also asked him what he wanted to choose. He said he hadn't decided yet.

That inspired me. An elite student like him would definitely go to the elite class, and he would most probably choose the science stream. After all, the school valued the science stream students more. A talented student like him would definitely choose the science stream over the arts stream.

Perhaps if I tried harder, I would get into the elite class of the science stream. By then, I would be in the same class as Jared.

The thought sparked my motivation to study harder.

I burned the midnight oil for a week and finished the test smoothly.

A week before the beginning of Grade 11, the results came out. I ranked 30th in the elite class of the science stream, coming in last. I didn't know if I should be happy or dispirited.

Everyone only knew their grades. I reported to the new class with the thought that I would meet Jared there.

Unexpectedly, Jared had chosen arts over science. The teacher had tried, throughout the whole holiday, to persuade him to do otherwise, but he didn't change his mind.

However, on the first day of school, Jared went to the teacher and requested to transfer to the science class.

A smart student like him could do whatever he wanted.

Meanwhile, I was called to the office by the vice principal.

The elite class only took in 30 students every year. Since Jared was transferred to the science class, my ranking was pushed downward to 31st place, so I should be demoted to the general class.

I found the situation hilarious after learning about the matter.

I could only feign nonchalance as I said to the vice principal, "It's okay. Then, please reassign me to the right class. I'll pack my things."

I secretly scolded Jared countless times in my mind. It was as if his baffling action was aimed at torturing me.

Right then, Jared came in and glanced at me. Then, he turned to the vice principal and said, "I think it's better to let Selena stay in the elite class. After all, she was dragged into this for no reason because of my exceptional case. She should stay in the elite class."

The vice principal thought for a while and said, "Well, you two stay in the elite class, then. Surely, it can take one more student."

We thanked the vice principal and left the office.

I glared at him and said, "You're first in our grade, so you can do whatever you want. But have you ever thought your action would affect others too?"

He also turned to look at me and said, "It's all because of you."

I was confused. "Me? What do you mean it's because of me?"

Instead of answering me, he said, "You should thank me. If I had chosen science, you wouldn't have gotten into the elite class."

This was an argument with chop logic. It would be fine if I did not get into the elite class because I would not feel that embarrassed at least. Now, I always felt as though I was an extra in the class. After all, no one would consider Jared's presence superfluous.

After that, my tedious study life started.

My deskmate, Mellissa Gordon, was a beautiful girl with doe eyes. She had nice bangs and a high ponytail. She was not as arrogant as I had imagined of a pretty girl. She joked around every day, and we naturally became friends.

Although Jared and I were in the same class as I wished, we had little chance to talk. We studied hard, immersing ourselves in practice questions every day.

However, I found that he would occasionally look at me in class. Of course, I wasn't narcissistic enough to think that he was looking at me. Perhaps he was looking at my deskmate, Mellissa?

I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

One day in gym class, we were all strolling around the campus. When we passed by the basketball court, Mellissa needed to use the washroom at the side. I sat on the bench nearby, waiting for her to finish her business.

Suddenly, a shadow loomed over me. I looked up and saw Jared walking over and sitting next to me.

He came up and jested, "Didn't you say you wouldn't watch me play basketball?"

I was rendered speechless.

I was stuck for words. Honestly, I didn't notice that he was playing basketball.

"I'm waiting for Mellissa. She's using the washroom." The explanation sounded weak.

Then, he asked me seriously, "I've noticed that you don't pay attention in class sometimes."

I was stunned.

I looked at him in confusion.

He added, "I saw that you always looked around instead of focusing on the blackboard."

I was exasperated and amused. "That means you weren't paying attention in class too. How do you know that I'm looking at you if you're not looking at me? Besides, you were looking at Mellissa, right?"

This time, it was his turn to look at me with puzzlement. "Why would I look at her?"

This question was even more ridiculous. "How do I know why you would look at her? Maybe you like her. She is beautiful and smart."

He looked angry. "Then, you should learn more from her. I begged the vice principal to let you stay back then. Don't disappoint me."

I was dumbfounded.

I wondered what was wrong with all the straight-A students. Was he angry with me because I pointed out the truth?

After a while, Mellissa came back. I blurted out, "What do you think of Jared?"

She thought for a while and said, "He's quite handsome."

I mumbled a response.

Then, she continued, "But I don't like that kind of person very much. He wears a cold face every day as if he's the best in the world."

I gloated over Jared's unrequited feelings for Mellissa. He shouldn't have maintained an air of aloofness all the time.

It was right after that I started to wonder if I tended to be masochistic.

However, I couldn't be bothered to think about these things. The result of the mid-term exam was out, and I was still in 31st place.

I was much more disappointed in getting 31st place in the elite class than getting 32nd place in the general class.

The teacher had set up study groups in class. The top ten students were chosen as the group leaders, and another two students were selected to form a group.

This was the learning mode adopted by the elite class every year. After the examination, the teacher would add up the ranks of the three people in the group. The group that got the highest cumulative rank would be rewarded.

I was a little frustrated with the study mode. That was because I was in 31st place, and I would be left out if no one chose me.

My lovely deskmate, Mellissa, took 11th place. Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to save me.

As a result, I reproached her relentlessly. If she had tried harder and ranked tenth, she would have been able to pick me as her group member.

She promised me that if someone chose her, she would definitely bring me in.

The first group leader was Jared.

He chose Mellissa, the student sitting in front of me, and me.

He chose three people.

He said that his performance was relatively stable and that he could tutor three students well.

I didn't expect that the group member selection that I had been so nervous about would pass so uneventfully.

And he naturally moved his desk in front of me.

Perhaps his heart-warming action just now made me feel better about him. I could feel my heartbeat quicken with every step he walked toward me.

I gradually lost control of my facial expression and could no longer hold back my smile.

I could only smile and say, "Thank you."