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027 - Ambushes, counter-ambushes and other traumatic experiences (1 of 3)

Mysterious Heroine X Alter

I don't care very much about complicated stuff.

Things like the rampant Saberface gene, or scheming councillors with many secrets, it's best if they're not around.

Things like X-san, that are loud and obnoxious but kind of nice in small doses, those I miss a bit.

But I like this strange life in Fuyuki City, with Master and him and everyone else. So many humans, so few Servants. A quiet, utopic past where one can simply sit down with a platter of sweets and a good novel.

Even if I'm surrounded by perverts.

Even in my astral form, my heart rate picks up as I remember last night. So much debauchery in a single room, it felt like something out of a trashy novel. I (couldn't) didn't peek in, (because Assassin was around and she would've caught me) of course, but it sounded like (tons of fun) they pulled all the stops.

… Not important.

I like Master and I like the people around Master. I like not having to keep secrets, and not being forced to do things I don't like to do. I like to eat delicious things, the smell of actual paper and ink books (and when Master and he cuddled with me).

This is something worth fighting for.

The Holy Grail War, the ambitions of the magi, the information downloaded in my mind when I was summoned, the corrupted ritual, the wish that's a monkey paw and whose conditions would be counter-productive to fulfill it in the first place… All of that are complicated things I don't really care about.

I'm not dumb, it's not hard to notice how all the Servants around were unhappy people in life. It's not hard to notice how Master and he want to keep us all around. I don't think this War is going to have a winner.

Unless someone manages to kill him.

That's why I'll stay close to Master. I'll protect her from anyone who wants to harm her, because I like her, I like this place and I want to stay here. If he is around, I'll protect him too, if he isn't, I'll entrust him to the other Servants.

Like right now, because Master wants to play bait for a cockroach. I'm not against that, what I dislike is that I was forbidden from just rushing I with a decapitating strike.

Whoom-swish… and off with its head. No need to overcomplicate things.

I don't care very much about complicated stuff, so I try to keep things simple. But I guess I don't mind believing in them, either.

Even if they're perverts.

Emiya Haku.

It takes a conscious effort to avoid laughing at the tangled mess of emotions coming from my bond with Ecchan. It's not hard to guess where her thoughts are from the mix of fondness, longing, exasperation and embarrassment.

For the rest of the household, save maybe Nii-san, Ecchan appears to be the perfect cool and collected individual, always stoic and reserved. But she can't deceive our bond. I could tell how she got all hot and bothered while trying to ignore our bedroom games that first night after her summon, or how she touched herself last night while we all had fun pampering Sakura-chan. Or how her heartbeat picks up when I'm walking ahead of her.

… Or the cold fury when she listened to Shinji's planning of mine and Ayako's rape. The undernote of anger that's been there since this morning hasn't really faded, I really hope she'll stick to the plan.

For now though, I can simply enjoy her presence right behind me and her laser-focus attention on my sweet and perky ass. I don't even need to sway my hips, she gets worked up all~ by~ herself~!

Yeah, Ecchan has a dirty little brain and I love to remind it to her.

It's a shame I'm occupied right now and can't really spare the attention to actively tease– Actually, nevermind that, nothing keeps me from swaggering a bit while I talk.

"Are you sure you've recovered from this morning? That was a nasty fever you had." Ayako accidentally reminds me of the absolutely fantastic time Nii-san and I had this morning in the club's changing rooms, but I refuse to get flustered. Instead, my focus goes to gyrating my hips and sticking out my ass for a certain invisible peeping tom. "We can do this some other day instead."

"You worry too much, Ayako-chan." Ecchan's feelings descend into chaos once again and keeping the cheerful smile on my lips from becoming a victorious smirk is a bit of a struggle. "I was fine by the time the first class was over, I didn't even need to visit the nurse's office."

"Well, I was thinking I'd cut you some slack if you weren't feeling good, but In that case I'll be holding you to your promise." I wince a bit and it's her turn to smirk. She doesn't have the decency of holding back like I did. "What was the exact wording again?"

"That I'd cover your bill at any sweet shop or bakery we visit for the rest of the week if you managed five consecutive bullseyes." It wasn't exactly a bright idea, but it was the best excuse I could think of to hang out with her in the evenings. It was a relatively easy challenge and Ayako would never turn down free sweets. "Which you did."

"And who is the best archer in the club again, Haku-san?" She asks, practically oozing smugness. My eyes narrow at what she's hinting at.

"That's still me, Ayako-chan." Because it is, and that's not a comment I can simply let go.

"Exactly." She agrees immediately, catching me by surprise. "And that's why I'm being petty and eating all the expensive shit I can make you pay for."

"Remind me why am I your friend again?" I ask with a groan, resisting the urge to palm my face.

"Take heart, Haku-san!" She pats my shoulder cheerfully. "It's only six more days!"

"I regret everything."

"Well, well, well…" A forever unwelcome voice intrudes into our polite conversation. "If it isn't Emiya Haku and Mitsuzuri Ayako in the flesh!"

The sudden spike of wrath and aggressiveness through my bond with Ecchan has me turning towards the threat before even processing what's been said, ready to [Trace] something nasty at the idiot staring at us from the sidestreet at the slightest threatening move.

"So pretty and so alone in this empty street…" He continues his monologue, unaware of how close I've been to eviscerating him on reflex and slowly walking closer. All in all, he's playing his role as the creepy stalker to perfection. "It would be a shame if something… untowards were to happen to such beauties, wouldn't it?"

My fist clenches painfully as he leers at me, making no effort to hide his desire. As if I'd let a man that's not Nii-san touch me that way. Ecchan's own emotions on the subject aren't making my efforts to hold back any easier as I feel myself getting ready to fire my magic circuits. It would be a matter of an instant, to [Trace] something to wipe that disgusting expression from his face with. Preferably by ripping his tiny thing off and making him swallow it.

… Okay, no. This is getting way out of proportion. I mentally take a step back, examining my own emotions and those coming from my bond, which is fortunate because it's only thanks to distancing myself from the situation that I catch my Servant coiling up to strike.

'Ecchan!'

'Master. Just one move.' Ecchan growls with a glacial tone, displaying more emotion than I've ever heard from her. 'A backhand slash at neck level is all it will take.'

It's… tempting, very tempting. But it's not that easy. Medusa would get in the way. She'd lose, of course, she's in no state to fight at full power and Ecchan is stupidly strong to begin with, but I can't be sure we'd be able to get to Shinji without killing her first.

'Sorry Ecchan.' I apologize, making sure to pulse my own resolve through the bond to make sure she doesn't just ignore me and do whatever she pleases. 'Stick to the plan,'

Hopefully this works, because I don't think I could bring myself to waste a Command Spell on saving Shinji's life if it ever comes down to it.

'Master...' With a sigh, Ecchan's emotions… diminish. They're still there, it's not like she's given up on her wishes to take Shinji down, but she doesn't feel like a spring about to go off anymore. 'Very well.'

'Thank you, Ecchan.'

'Thank me with something delicious.'

"What are you doing here, Matou? Did your fangirls finally realize the piece of shit you actually are and left you to rot?" Unaware of what's going through my mind, Ayako seizes the initiative for the conversation with Shinji. "We don't have time for your crap today. Why don't you go stink someone else's day?"

"Careful there, Ayako-chan~" He continues with a smile, trying to play it cool. The corner of his mouth is wavering though, and a vein has popped on his forehead. "Your mouth might be writing checks you cannot pay."

"Oh, great. You've finally snapped and gone full creep." Ayako sighs dramatically, shaking her head from side to side. "I always knew this would happen, but I had hoped someone else would've had to deal with you."

As she speaks, Ayako is subtly readying her stance in case it really comes down to a fight. Say what you want about her, but she's not stupid enough to dismiss the creep as a threat. Obnoxious, snarky, competitive, overly proud and far too straight for my tastes, but she's not stupid.

"Oh, it's not me you have to deal with, Ayako-chan!" Pulling a small hardcover volume that can only be the [Book of the False Attendant] from an inner pocket, Shinji dramatically snaps the fingers of his free hand. "Rider!"

The tall and shapely figure of Medusa appears right behind him in all her glory, gorgeous purple hair, a killer dress, bazoongas I wouldn't mind getting smothered to death with and legs for days. Oh, and those chained nail-daggers of hers too, I guess.

Startled by the sudden appearance of a woman more than a head taller than us, Ayako takes a step back. Which is my cue, I guess.

"Really? You get your hands on a hero of legend and you decide to use her to chase after girls you aren't man enough to rape by yourself?" It's my turn to shake my head in disappointment, taking a step forward to get myself between Ayako and Shinji. "It would be sad even if you hadn't just revealed yourself to another Master."

"Another Master?" For a moment, he just doesn't seem to get the implications of my words, but soon his eyes widen in panic. "Wait, you don't mean…!"

"Yu~p! Saber, would you kindly?"

With a burst of golden light, Ecchan materializes at my side, black armor on and Cross Calibur in hand. Standing in front of Medusa, Ecchan looks positively tiny, but her combat gear screams badass, and she wields a fucking light saber. It doesn't matter if Medusa has the high ground by default, Ecchan has the intimidation factor covered.

"IIiiiiih!" In a mere second, all of Shini's bluster is gone and he hurries to hide behind 'his' Servant. "R-Rider! Protect me!"

Jack the Ripper (Assassin)

As Daddy walks the empty streets, humming a cheerful melody and going out of his way to ignore the dangers of the city at night, we follow. Unseen but always seeing, like we learned to do so long ago. There's no mist here, no black smoke to clog lungs and irritate eyes, but we are very good at hiding even without.

We don't know why Daddy is playing bait, but we know the game. We have played it before, looking for a Mommy, looking for food, or just because we were bored. Playing bait isn't very fun, but it's an easy game to play. The only rule is not letting the other perpetrators know you're not actually a victim until it's too late.

We don't care about Daddy's reasons anyway. We're following Daddy because Mommy asked us to keep an eye on him and keep him safe. We have never been a good girl before, but we really want to try it now that we have the chance.

We wonder how that'll be. Will we get praised lots? Will Mommy pat our head? Or maybe… We'll be allowed to sit on her lap and look smugly at Daddy?

Speaking of Daddy, we can also observe him while he's playing bait, and try to understand him a bit better.

Daddy is weird. Acts in strange ways we cannot predict and makes us feel confused. We don't like that. But Daddy gives the best headpats, somehow. Daddy isn't supposed to give headpats, he's supposed to try and hurt us, or hurt Mommy so we can gut him properly.

But Daddy does none of that, it's a puzzling mystery.

Instead, Daddy pampers the onee-sans and Mommy, and makes them very happy by having sex with them all. That was bizarre to watch, sex is supposed to be uncomfortable and hurt, but all the onee-sans were saying how good it was and asking for more.

And then they got tired and slept together. Daddies and Mommies do that sometimes, but the Mommies never look that happy. It's a puzzling mystery.

Mommy and Daddy tried to explain it to us. Having sex is supposed to be lots of fun when everyone involved wants to do it, but we don't understand why it would matter. Sex is sex, and it shouldn't matter whether the Mommies want to do it or not, if they end up doing it anyway.

Still, we paid attention to Mommy the whole night, in case she was unhappy or being forced to do things she didn't want. So we could gut Daddy like we're supposed to do. But we didn't find anything suspicious going on. It's a puzzling mystery.

Daddy said we were too young to try and that was a bit frustrating, because we don't like Daddy telling us what we can or can't do, but we don't really mind. Even if Mommy can't be wrong and having sex must be tons of funs after all, we still don't really care about trying.

We catch the pretty bitch stalking Daddy as soon as she begins. She's barely hiding at all, and she's being very obvious about it. Her interest in Daddy is also written all over her face and body language. This pretty bitch isn't very very good at playing perpetrator at all.

We carefully position ourselves behind the pretty bitch. We are not-here at the time, but magus can sometimes pick us even when we're not-here, if we're not careful. And this pretty bitch stinks of magic. Magic and lust and resentment.

The pretty bitch looks a bit like one of us, short and flat and with hurt in her eyes, but she's very much not one of us. She smells older and has had a good life, eating well and being cared for. Her clothes alone would sell for enough to keep us fed for weeks, her face is pale but healthy and her long silver hair is luscious and full of volume.

She's not one of us, even if she looks a bit like one of us. She's just a victim.

She's also stalking Daddy, very poorly, spilling malice all over. We are pretty sure she wants to kill Daddy. That… makes us angry.

We stop for a moment, trying to understand that weird thought. We don't want the pretty bitch to kill Daddy, we don't even want the pretty bitch hurting Daddy a bit. It's a puzzling… no. Mommy would be sad if Daddy died, so we don't want Daddy to die. It's not a puzzling mystery at all.

Plus, if we can't gut Daddy, nobody else can either.

At some point while we were distracted with our thoughts, [The Mist] started rolling out without us noticing. That's weird, [The Mist] should only come out when we tell it to, but in the end we shrug it off. It's convenient for it to be already out, after all.

The pretty bitch has moved while we were distracted, so we need to position ourselves right behind her again. Carefully, we take out one of our knives, leaning forward to give a quick slash at the neck of the pretty bitch and cover her mouth at the same time. We don't really need to cover the mouth of the pretty bitch, since slashing her throat will ruin her ability to make noises, but that's how we learnt to do it, just in case we miss.

We haven't missed in a very long time.

'Sweetie, remember we don't want to kill Illya-chan.' Mommy's voice sounds in my mind, kindly reminding us that we can't actually kill the pretty bitch. 'Just scare her a bit, okay?'

Mommy doesn't get angry at us even when we mess up, she doesn't yell or tries to hit us. So nice, so kind, so warm. We love our Mommy very much.

'Yes, Mommy.' We agree, feeling a bit sheepish as we readjust with plans.

… It's a bit disappointing that we won't be able to slash open the throat of the pretty bitch, but Daddy is weird like that. He wants lots and lots of onee-chans to have sex with and he doesn't want us to kill them. Actually, that's not weird at all. Daddies always want to have lots and lots of sex with Mommies and Onee-chans. But Daddy is still weird, no matter how nice it feels when he pats our head.

The pretty bitch tenses in a way we recognise very well. She still thinks herself a perpetrator, and is about to act against the victim. We can't have that.

Placing our hand over her mouth, we stop being not-here. The slightly wet warmth of her lips feeling all the more real against our palm now that we're really touching her. The tension of her body shifts from confident resolve to rigid panic, making us smile at the nostalgic behaviour.

Before the pretty bitch can actually do anything though, we place our knife against her neck with our other hand, softly enough that nothing important gets cut, hard enough that the smell of blood fills up the air.

"You can't kill Daddy, Mommy will be sad and then we'll have to kill you." Leaning forward until our chin is resting on the shoulder of the pretty bitch, we whisper into her ear. "Killing pretty bitches in heat is our specialty."