16

Ultron was irritated.

Of all the times for the twin nuisances to grow a bone of competence, it had to be right when he was in the middle of calibrating the components of his upgrade. Of course.

The annoying female who apparently had never heard of the concept of privacy had glimpsed a fleeting memory of his, and proceeded to pitch a fit right then and there, with not thought or concern about altitude or trajectory. And he, in his focus on optimizing the synapses and transcription regulation and coding rates, had been unable to dispose of this newest loose thread.

He hadn't been able to get to her before she'd informed her twin about this latest development, and the ensuing tantrum was enough for him to almost wish he'd informed the brats that the Cradle they were jarring so violently was capable of levelling the mountaintop currently below them. Almost. They had powerful lungs, if nothing else. The male had expressed his displeasure by throwing the entirety of what he could reach into disarray, while the female apparently preferred to screech about betrayal and revenge.

As it was, Ultron was vaguely impressed at how tolerant the Mind Stone was taking the current abuse and not lashing out— and then an especially uncontrolled energy surge broke a hole in the hull of the plane.

Because, as it turns out, starting fights in a plane was a bad idea, who knew?

The abrupt change in pressure on such a small craft, plus the literally breathtaking surges of energy, meant that the entire craft was thrown into chaos, and with his currently inferior body, well. And now, he was missing both the twins and a half-set Infinity Stone in a very unstable place.

How embarrassing.

Oh well. He could always have the Chitauri help him search for it, once he brought them over. Ultron had the materials to contact his Lord, had been able to salvage them before the plane had crashed, everything else was secondary.

JARVIS had been monitoring Ultron's trajectory, and so when it crashed, picked chatter in the disputed airspace area within minutes of the alleged accident. Of the unauthorized craft, and the curious lack of bodies, either dead or alive.

If he were human, he would've frowned; as it was, this latest development just threw off his estimates, and while he'd managed to get a read on Ultron's location through monitoring the plane's trajectory, the tracker in the Cradle was far more reliable. Speaking of which…

The readings were now far more erratic, currently moving in a direction nearly opposite to the trajectory of the plane's intended path, and he suspected that some wavelengths weren't being registered, either. Just what had Ultron done?

Good thing the Security division were on the case.

They had managed to alert Sokovia about the possible incoming hostile, and due to recent events [read: Johannesburg], the local officials were still distrusting of outsiders, but more willing to listen than not. Evacuations were currently being conducted, and a subroutine had been set to monitor its progress, as well as local air traffic and gather the Iron Legion so as to further help.

And now, thanks to the erratic air traffic patterns, JARVIS now had an official excuse to investigate. Nobody noticed, when a few of the Legionnnaires peeled off from their current path to Sokovia, to the current coordinates of where the Cradle was located: Sir's stealth technology was the best in the world, after all.

Tony woke up to several very…interesting notifications about travel times and his current coordinates. And airspace chatter, and he was certain he hadn't put his phone on 'don't bother me' mode, so why did it only now ping with the latest update as to the Cradle's recovery by the Iron Legion?

"Hey, JARVIS? Why didn't you wake me up for this?"

"Sir, you have experienced extreme stress and fatigue, both emotional and not, in the past week. As the situation was out of our hands until recently, there is nothing that could not have been delegated, such as the current relief efforts in Johannesburg, or the contractors fixing the Tower in New York. You needed the rest, sir."

Tony…didn't know what to say about that. He was touched by JARVIS' concern [and vaguely chagrined that his AI was about as much of a mother hen as the human he'd been named for], and when it was put that way…He sighed.

"Thanks, J. But next time, give me a bit of a heads up? I'd hate to sleep through anything important."

"Your preferences have been noted and logged."

"So much sass, J. I wonder where you get that from?" He smiled one last time, and readjusted his headset, before getting ready for the day.

Huh. JARVIS was right, he hadn't known just how tired he'd been until he'd started to catch up on his sleep. Even the aches from his little smackdown with Jolly Green were lessened. Not that he'd ever admit it, of course. Banner was probably feeling bad enough as it was, meanwhile JARVIS wouldn't ever let him live down admitting he was right about his self-destructive tendencies.

Once he was done with his impromptu introspection, Tony emerged from his dusty bunk to a Helicarrier that was, somehow, even more deserted than before. How SHIELD was able to pull it off while still remaining in the air, he didn't know.

Oh, and quite possibly one of the most masterful demonstrations of passive aggression he'd ever seen. For all that the ship was practically vacant at this point, with all its agents having made themselves scarce somehow, he still received more "Good morning, Dr. Stark" greetings on his way to the galley than he'd heard since the last time he'd gone to an robotics conference.

That wasn't it, either, though he was still amused by it as time went by and the "Dr. Stark"s continued to fly around. Rogers' face was showing his own confusion well enough, whenever he wasn't busily staring down at his sad bowl of…whatever passed for breakfast in a paramilitary hovercraft. The mush might've passed for oatmeal, if it wasn't for its off color and…yeah, no, Tony was very content with his semi-decent coffee: Hill had shown him which coffeemakers were the best, and it was one such mug that helped him get ready for the day.

With each sip, however, as he got his bearings back and readied for the day, Tony started noticing the tension in the room. The Avengers were currently sitting together, and sure, that might've been normal; but Tony doubted the vacant tables around them were. Or the pointed looks being thrown their way by the agents nearby, and the incredibly cheerful "Good morning, Dr. Stark! Here, have a croissant" when he entered was over the top but still tasteful somehow.

Yet, when it finally came to talking to the super-spy club, Tony realized that, somehow, the entire team didn't seem to notice. Well…point, they had more pressing matters at hand, and his time would be put to better use sharing that the Cradle had been recovered and that the Helicarrier was currently less than three hours away from Sokovia at present speed, than wondering why it seemed that half the room seemed to hold a grudge that rivaled Legal's against Romanov. Huh.

Of course, when they finally got started [Barton was apparently not much of an early riser, who knew?], Rogers immediately tried to get on his case, and wow this was really filling his biannual quota for passive aggression. His talk about teammates not telling each other things was…something else. Or, at least, it would've been, had Tony's streak of ruthlessness not existed. Or Hill's incredulous look, at his side.

"Do you know just what you're asking, Cap? You want to be informed, check the news. Johannesburg's making all the headlines, don't you know? And so are the Avengers. I'm telling you now, what we need to know, because unless all of you are interested in hearing about how the stock market in South Korea's doing, or the sociopolitical climate in Ecuador, or the weather patterns in Sudan, and how they relate to my business, I don't see why I should tell you everything."

Romanov tried to cut in, but Tony's self-control before his third cup of coffee was always shaky anyway, so, his tone never changing, he tilted his head and asked, "Anything you want to add, Natalie Rushman?"

Silence.

[Well…Barton's was more half-asleep, but Rogers had leaned back slightly and frowned, meanwhile Romanov had stilled abruptly and Banner had just sat silently in the corner, wide-eyed.]

Okay, that was probably enough posturing for now, time to get back on track.

"Anyway, so chatter's been picked up as to the coordinates of where the stolen plane ended up, and Thor's on his way to Sokovia, he called earlier and Dr. Selvig also let us know as to…"

It took four Legionnaires to recover and transport the Cradle back to Sir's location. Two might have sufficed, but the need for stability meant JARVIS doubled the assignment. It was a relatively short trip, shortened even further by the Helicarrier's recently altered trajectory towards Sokovia.

The readings were strange, though. Sir would probably need to take a look at it, as well as to ascertain why the quantity of vibranium was structured as it was. It was almost as if it'd been an attempt to mirror the human body, and JARVIS was morbidly curious as to the reasoning behind it.

Then, however, several discoveries and realizations happened in quick succession, shortly after Sir moved his base of operations from the Helicarrier to the last HYDRA stronghold.

One, Ultron had been building a body.

Two, the newer equipment registered some very unique energy fluctuations in the Cradle. Apparently, it was starting to destabilize, and needed something to contain or else it'd implode, and with the current readings and Sir's proximity, that was unacceptable.

Three, there were currently only three things on Earth possibly capable of being able to do something about it. One was an alien menace, another was royalty currently in transit to their location, but the third…

"Sir, I believe I can stabilize it."

"JARVIS, no. The framework's not compatible." Tony hissed into his headset frantically, even as he eyed the increasingly erratic readings on the screen.

"Yes, it is."

"You're sure." He asked. Part of Tony wanted to scream 'no, I can't afford risking losing you again', wanted to panic about what could go wrong and the erratic fluctuations, but.

Part of him hated himself for it, but he knew some risks would be harder to stomach than others, that some things were necessary for all that they weren't fundamentally right. He knew what he was capable of, if push came to shove.

Banner, however, apparently didn't share his resolve.

Fortunately, however, Tony had a handy screen with the latest readings from the Cradle as a visual aid, and so they set to work modifying what they could to make sure they wouldn't get vaporized in the inevitable explosion otherwise.

Through it all, Tony worked with all the calm he didn't feel, but he needed to make sure the calculations were accurate because dammit this was JARVIS they were talking about.

When they flicked the switch to initialize, Tony prayed to a god he didn't believe in, for help.

Thor's interruption was…not planned.

Neither was Rogers' storming in with the witch who'd caused the bulk of this mess in the first place. [Which, what. The. Hell. He didn't even, anymore. Nope, fuck this royally, good thing he was leaving them because this was beyond the pale.]

That the being wasn't JARVIS was only the cherry on top, and Tony froze as part of him wanted to laugh and sob and cry as he got a distinct déjà vu to last time—and then his phone vibrated, and his headset chirped.

Amidst the chaos and the glaring and Banner's showcasing a surprisingly ruthless edge [that "not changing a shade" part was impressive, but not something he'd seen coming], nobody but him heard the quiet voice.

"Hello, Sir."

Code: All_clear_systems_normal_status_update_1315:: Received.

Code: All_clear_systems_normal_status_update_1330:: Received.

Code: Alert_activate_backup_systems_status_update_emergency_1337:: Received.

Initializing secondary backup servers for OS_Just_A_Rather_Very_Intelligent_System in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

JARVIS was somewhat confused as to what had happened during the 5 minutes between his sending out the code to the secondary backup servers, but Sir took priority over everything else in the din, even if the second biggest threat to Sir was in the room with him.

Sir's readings were exhibiting extreme distress, and that was not— as he reviewed the audio, however, he understood. [Interesting, however, that Vision was not, in fact, a copy of him.] And so JARVIS set to reassuring Sir the best way he could think of, under the circumstances.

"Hello, Sir."

Notes:

Tony's severely underestimating Legal's grudge against Natasha, btw. Unreliable narrator, remember? And that's not the only thing he's missing.

Wanda and Pietro managed to survive falling from a plane because magic— literally, in this case.

...I think you can tell this chapter fought me tooth and nail. But whew, I'm finally starting to see the end to the AoU arc! Just need to get through, you know, an alien invasion. Fun.

———————

Pro: finals are over with for the quarter.

Con: summer's plans are not concrete yet, and my computer's about as reliable as Natasha's characterization; so, for an indeterminate amount of time, updates'll slow even more. Sorry about that.