The Thoughts In My Head.

Elena's POV

I left Jonathan's office and I went into my old room and for a minute I thought I had been lost because it didn't look anything like the room that I knew, it looks like Jonathan took it up on himself to renovate the whole entire house.

I am a hundred percent sure that he hired a designer to do everything in here because everything looked great. I didn't think that he would even have clothes ready for me when he said that my bath was ready.

I went into the bathroom and I was immediately hit with a beautiful smell of Jasmine. I got out of the dirty clothes and I went into the bath I closed my eyes, the water felt amazing seeing that I hadn't had a bath in weeks.

Tonight is a special night for every one of us. We are going to be one with our wolve's. We are going to be running freely in the woods and getting in touch with out primal sides.

I used to love these nights because my father and I did our own thing. When everyone goes into the woods to change and run around, my dad and I would go hunting. As the years passed we sort of did it our own thing.

I haven't seen my sisters in some time and now that I was out of the dungeon, I was looking forward to spending some time with them. I was also looking forward to my training sessions with the guys Jonathan is going to set up for me.

I guess he couldn't let me have that either. Jonathan said that he wants me to be with him when we turn under the moonlight in the woods. I didn't even want to argue with that on him because it made no difference to me.

I have been thinking about how this could be a chance for me to see what I was working with. I needed to see his wolf and it's strength so that I can think of a way to beat him. So far he looks very strong.

My father taught me a lot of things and one of his lessons was that you never go to war with an opponent you don't know. He said that you have to study your opponent and find their weak spot. Everyone has a weakness, I just had to find out what his was.

I haven't been trained in weeks and that was already a disadvantage for me, secondly, I have never seen him fight before which was my other disadvantage. I believe in myself but I didn't know who I was going to battle with.

In all the few hours that he has let me out I have learned that he is not without mercy and perhaps that is his weakness, I just had to find a way to use it against him somehow. This was not just a fight for me, this is war.

I can't go to war unprepared. Tonight when I turn, I will be at my weakest seeing that I hadn't been eating well these last few weeks but if I get a chance to hunt, the blood will make me stronger.

I will reserve that strength until I need to use it again. It was a gift I had. I could store energy which was the reason why I hadn't lost weight after being malnutritioned for weeks. I would sometimes go days without eating.

Instead of getting myself worked up and stressed out I would meditate and find my chi, with it I could go days without food or water and not be affected. father has taught me a lot of things and I was grateful for all of them.

At some point in my life I had always wondered how my children's would be an if they would take after my father but now I don't even say that I want to have children anymore.

I have a lot riding on the fight that I am about to have in a few days time and I honestly cannot see office myself being with Jonathan. I can see that he really wants this marriage thing to work and it can work but only if he agrees to my terms.

Amongst one of the many other things that my father has taught me was that one should always avoid bloodshed by any means necessary and I wish I could do that but I just feel like I would have given up too easily.

I owe it to my family to at least try and fight for what is rightfully ours. I have to tell both my sisters about everything that has happened and I have to make them understand why I agreed to this insanity.

I honestly don't know how I would feel if one of my sisters told me that they were going to marry a man that killed our father. I just hope that they will be more understanding towards my situation.

I just wish that I had stopped my father from going to that fight. I wish I knew what the outcome would become. I still don't understand how the elders missed that my father was going to get killed in that fight.

Most of us don't have magical powers but some of ours still do but most of them were psychic and they could tell what was going to happen before it happened. my father was their Alpha and I still don't get why they couldn't see that he was going to die in that place.

I refuse to believe that that was the way that my father was supposed to go. I know it in my heart that he wouldn't leave us like that, especially not to a man like Jonathan, he was raised by a heartless man so I don't expect him to be any different from the man who raised him.

His treatment towards me in the last two weeks has shown me that he is more like his father than anyone else and that it's true when they say that the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He is his father's son and he will never change.

He is what he is just like I am what I am. I am my father's daughter and I was just like him, he had often said that I should have been a boy because I have all of his trades and my mother used to say that I had his personality as well.

I took a deep breath and thought about what my father would tell me to do right now. He was a wise man and I had no doubt that he would be seeking out a much more peaceful solution towards the predicament that we are in right now.

My father was an honest man and just man and I don't know if I made the best choice when I refused to follow in line like the rest of the Pack. I just couldn't bring myself to kneel before the man who took away everything from me.

I can tell that he had been trying to learn how we do things but it still won't change the fact that he is not of question blood and it's for that reason that we can never have children of our own.

never before had we had two of the different wolf bloodline having children, this was unheard of and I could only wonder what kind of children would we make? this has never been done before and for that reason it was unheard of.

every bloodline has a certain DNA signature to them and we were also like that. everyone of us has something special about them and no one has ever tried to combine either of them together before.

We could even be creating an abomination as far as I am concerned. I still don't understand how Jonathan is going to think that this marriage is going to work given all the circumstances and obstacles in our way.

he asked if they had imprinted on anyone and the truth is that I have never even thought of that before but he on the other hand, I think that he might have a woman in his life as I saw her photo and his office desk.

I think that if this marriage thing happens then he should have children with her because they are all the same bloodline and I should probably find someone else in my bloodline to have children with as well.

I personally don't know how I feel about having children but I know that it is what my father would have wanted, he told us that his Legacy doesn't end with us and we have to make sure that it goes on.

The only way my sisters and I always knew that having children of our own is very important for us, so we have to have children with men who have the same bloodline as we do.