Her Heart...

Jonathan's POV

I am in my office looking at my phone as it rings and I can't bring myself to answer it. Nia has been calling me for the past week and I haven't answered her calls, this is because I don't know what to say to her.

I know that our relationship was doomed from the start but I was selfish enough to let her fall in love with me and now that she is in love with me I cannot bring myself to break her heart. I don't want to.

The elders had told me that even if I don't want to break her heart I am going to and it was eminent. I wish it wasn't true but I have always known deep down in my heart that we were not meant to be together and that is the real reason why I couldn't imprint on her.

They said that imprinting came naturally but for her I was willing to anything to imprint on her. I tried for years but couldn't get there, I just thought that it didn't matter just as long as we were together.

I know that my feelings for her are real but I also know that being with her will only do more harm than good especially since I want to marry Elena.

I know that she won't understand it even if I explained that it will only be a marriage of convenience so that her people can accept me and that I wanted to spend time with her and be with her.

At this point it seems like I'm trying to have my bread buttered on both sides and I know that this is something that she will also think of. I know that Elena said that it's ok for me to have a relationship but I don't think that this is going to be fair to either women.

I am a lot of things but I am not a player. I just wish things were different and if it were up to me she would be near or be here by my side. I was also told that she will find her true love and I think it's better for me to end things now so that I can give her a chance to find that love.

It would be cruel of me to deny the chance of having her own happily ever after. I suppose running away from the problem is not going to make it disappear.

Nia probably thought that I would be coming home soon especially tonight when there's a full moon so that I can be with my own pack when I turn, but it's time we both face facts and the fact is that the Luna might be my blood pack but right now, I belong to the Crescent's.

I didn't ask for this and neither did she. I see the phone go off and then it rings again a few seconds later. I am guessing that she won't stop calling anytime soon. I took a deep breathe and answered my phone.

"Hello..." I said.

"Oh thank God! I thought something was wrong, I am at our place, when are you coming home? I miss you. " She said.

"I can't come home tonight..." I said.

"What do you mean you can't come home tonight? Did you forget that you're a Luna wolf and that you should be with your own when you turn.

The Crescent's are not like us, they probably run around the woods and mating but we hunt, who are you going to hunt with? You know that you need that animal blood to make you stronger. " She said pointing out the obvious.

"I will be fine, don't worry about me, I will be okay." I said.

"J what's wrong? " She asked me.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"You promised to come back home every weekend, it has been over a month and you haven't shown up, you haven't answered my calls in a week! if I didn't know better I'd say you were ignoring me.

You haven't even been to the office, I know you said that you wanted to settle down and find your feet first but I thought that I would have been invited to your new place by now... Jonathan are you seeing someone?" She asked me.

If I was seeing someone then this would he the perfect time to tell her that I was with someone else but I am not, even if I am going to get married soon.

"It's not like that, I have just been busy." I said.

"please don't shut me out, I know that something is wrong." She said.

"Nia you know that I love you right?" I asked her because I didn't want to think that I didn't love her and that I was not trying to get her hurt by the decisions I make.

"please tell what's wrong..." She pleaded with me on the phone.

"How about a dinner date tomorrow, at our favourite restaurant? " I asked her.

"What did you do?" she asked me .

"Nothing, can't I take my beautiful girlfriend out for a date?" I asked her.

"You hate that restaurant and you only take me there when you want to apologize for something, the last time you did that, you had signed on the client I asked you not to." She said.

"I didn't do anything, I just want us to talk, that's all." I said .

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow night then." She said.

"I love you..." I said.

"I love you too." she said and hung up the phone. I put my phone on the table and saw a figure, I looked up and Elena was standing by the door.

"How long have you been standing there? " I asked her with venom in my voice.

"Long enough to hear you profess your love to your girlfriend." She said.

"It's rude to listen in on people's conversations, this is my office so knock next time you come in here." I said .

"Whatever, I came to let you know that I will be ready to leave in an hour." she said.

"Fine, we'll meet downstairs in an hour." I said and dismissed her.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked me.

"Sure, you can go ahead." I said.

"Why haven't you told the pack about my proposal about the conclaid?" She asked me.

"I didn't think I had to, they will be notified in a couple of days if that's what you want, the fight is between the two of us and if you want an audience then I am fine with it, I just thought that you would want something more private and intimate with only a few people there." I said to her which was my honest answer.

"Why would you think I would want some privacy?" She asked me.

"Elena I admire your bravery but we both know that you won't beat me, I have heard how you have put many guys on their backs but I am like nothing you have ever seen before, You will lose the fight, I just didn't think you'd want your pack to see you beaten and defeated." I said.

I was telling her the truth and she knew it too. I was really doing her a favour by keeping this between us. Her people respect her and I know that they will see her differently if they witnessed her submission.

"Oh, I see, so you're saying that your are doing me a favour?" She asked me.

"smart girl, Elena you're going to be my wife whether you accept it now or later and if you want to rule these people, you are gonna have to show me that you deserve it, remember why we are doing this." I said to her.

"Why are you being nice to me?" She asked me.

"Me? Nice? Now that's something I don't hear everyday." I said with a bit of a laugh.

"Whatever..." She said and left my office. She does that a lot hey, this waking away from me before I dismissed her. When we have our fight, I won't be as nice as she thinks I am though.

Even still, I don't think it would be fair for me to use ally strength on the fight because I am way much stronger than her. I will have to hold back and make it a fair fight. I might even fight with my eyes closed. Which won't make any difference.

It will be one bloody show, it won't be pretty. I don't know why I keep making these decisions that always protect her somehow. This girl was doing something to me and I doubt if it was good for either of us.

She said that we will be leaving in an hour and as much as I am looking forward to tonight, I have Nia on my mind. This will be the first full moon we spend apart since we were teenagers.

Tonight for the first time in over a decade I will be with someone other than Nia. I still remember her scent on me when the twilight hit and we turned back into human form. I could literally feel her scent on me for days after the full moon.

Tomorrow morning, I will have a different scent on me, a new scent and I hope for my sake it won't be as captivating as Nia's.