Withdraws.Pt(2)

 ⚠️TW⚠️ EATING

                         DISORDER

Once I got ahead of my studies I found myself with more and more free time. Which in the long run, turned out to be very unhealthy considering the way I spent it. I promised myself I wouldn't do acid....marijuana was never out of question though. I never spent free time sober, I spent it with a blunt and a glass of wine in hand. I mean who wouldn't want to? It takes all the pain away and it made me feel so good...so light and happy and of course hungry. I had a cabinet of food I kept purley for my cravings, nothing satisfied like Mamas' gumbo though. Alittle ghost pepper and some shrimp always settled my munchies, never lasted long though, i'd always throw it up after. I soon developed an eating disorder since anytime I ate sober, I was throwing up. Being high was the only way I could ever seem to get myself to eat and it wasn't long before Daniel noticed.

"Joven you need to eat" I heard that phrase alot more than I liked to. Daniel started making me eat then watching me atleast 30 minutes after to make sure I kept it down. I hated it but I also knew he did it because he cared, sometimes though...he tended to over feed me and when I wouldn't eat he'd start yelling at me. Calling me names i'd never thought I would hear out of his mouth. "It's just because I love you" or "i'm sorry my Rose, it won't happen again." That never lasted long of course but part of me kept me coming back, Daniel was my one and only. Daniel started getting softer about me smoking weed to eat, but he made me promise to try and keep it down and 80% of the time I was sucsessful. Daniel wasn't innocent when it came to smoking, infact we smoked together every chance we got. Sometimes it'd lead to snuggles and a movie before we fell asleep or some of the best damn sex i've ever had.

A few months went by like this. Before we got caught, we had been out for a drive and stopped at a park. "Want to smoke a blunt while we're here?" Daniel purred to me with a smirk tugging his lips. I giggled and nodded as he pulled out two little baggies of marijuana and handed one to me. Exactly 0.43 grams to roll one joint, next thing I knew I was on Daniels lap. His lips smashed against mine and his hands traced my figure we were both decently high and wanted to pass the time. We were on the verge of going all the way before a cop car rolled up. Not just any cop car, Daniels' dad. He tapped the window as I crawled into the passanger seat wiping my lips gently, an embarressed blush crept my cheeks. "Is that weed I smell?" He mused at us and chuckled before he yanked Daniel out by his arm and dusted him "i'm gonna have to confiscate it and take you to the station Daniel, but we won't tell your mom" he chuckled at him. I had a card, Daniel didn't so I ended up loosing my card for quote "providing him with a controlled substance."

From that point on we made a pact to only smoke in the room. If we ever do go out, only one edible for each of us since we didn't add alot in ours it wasn't traceable by scent. Daniel and me continued on smoking as if nothing happended though we had to move out of campus housing since headmaster was starting to get complaints and suspecting us. So on January, 6th, 2013, we bought a penthouse together since me and Daniel came from well of families it wasn't too much to ask for. It was the biggest accomplishment in our marriage by far at that point, we were both so proud of ourselves. We talked about alot of things, I remeber the first conversation we had in that house before we went to bed. "Baby why don't we get a dog?" I giggled at him smiling like an idiot, "or a kid" he chuckled and hugged my waist pressing a kiss on my temple. Lord I wanted nothing more than to have a family with this man....my perfect match.