My Earliest Memory

My parents where the absolute worst, my step father(Richard) and the women who birthed me(Tami) Rthey were both alcoholic and a druggiemfrom early on I was abusive in every way, I will detail the extend ofmthe abuse in future capters. Recently I was enjoying smoking some weed with my in laws I absolutely love them, my father in law(Jason) got me into smoking and very since I got my medical Marijuana card. One night he approached me with a new strain called Crown Cush, I was deep into the high when I had this memory. I was 2 years old, I remember extreme pain as Richard as sexually assaulting me, blinding hot pain for an endless amount of time, I remember gripping the bed shots and crying into the sheet and pulling it off the corners of the bed, when he finished in he punched me in the back of the head and told me to fix the sheets, shortly after collapsing onto the floor in a mess of tears my mother cam in and helped with the sheets, I remember crying to her and asking her why she would would let that man hurt me, she grabbed my shoulders and shoot me hard telling me not to say things like that and to never tell anyone about this...this memory is one oldest one I can find in my pathetic brain of mine, so here it is out in the open. Do I feel better? Not really. Do I need help? Yea. My lovely wife will unfortunately never know the true extend of this writing and I hope she never read this. I hope she never see me at my lowest point, for there at my lowest point I'm nothing but a pathetic worthless individual.