But why ?

Pov Kurumi

' I don't know anything about this " being " except that it exists and that it is somehow connected to me. Looking at the information I have gathered so far , I suspect that I am connected to this " entity " through zafkiel or more precisely through my eye . And how do I even know about this " being " ? I know about it is because I felt its presence when I touched that cursed sephira crystal . It was also the moment when information about my future task was transmitted to my head. But I have a feeling that I felt the presence of this " being " even before I touched that crystal.

' Although at the time I was too shocked and absent-minded to notice, I definitely felt the presence of this " being " in that void where the still unawakened Kurumi and that huge clock held by chains were located . And if my suspicions are accurate then this " being " ... is that clock . If this " being " realy is a clock or an entity that takes on the appearance of a clock , then the choice of Kurumi , whose existence was closely related to this theme , makes more sense . However, it doesn't really matter , what matters is that I am connected , to some " entity " '

Thinking about it a shiver runs down my spine . The awareness that something like this " being " can be connected to me is terrifying . Besides that , the memories of that void filled with perfect , at least in body , copies of me ..... No , I too am a copy of the original Kurumi Tokisaki . My identity , skills and even behavior are modeled on her. Which means I'm not even sure how much of me and how much of the original Kurumi is in me . This makes my situation even more frightening to me.

' Who am I ? Can I be myself at all ? I have three souls inside me ? Am I a combined consciousness of these souls , or one of them ? . Perhaps I am a completely new person ? Am I identical to other copies of the original Kurumi ? Are we all identical to each other ? Is the only difference between us our life experience ? '

' So far I've only met one Kurumi , with whom I haven't had a chance to talk about it , so I don't know . But , although I do not know the soul structure of other Kurumi , I can at least deduce from our appearance that we have at least the same fragments of the soul of the original Kurumi . However, the question is whether all these fragments are not just copies ? Or perhaps all these fragments are orginals ? Looking at the power of this " being " ..... I don't know myself anymore . '

Thinking about it I am aware that I don't really have any information . I only know about the mission given to me , the rest of the things are just my deductions and guesses that have formed from the few information I have had the opportunity to collect . Hence there are many things I don't understand about this situation . In fact, this situation in itself is hard to grasp . Understanding it , is another matter entirely . However, there is one thing that does not give me peace of mind and yet if solved will give me all the answers I need .

" Why is this " being " doing this ? "

Thinking aloud I clench my teeth in flustration .

' All these manipulations , lies , resurrections , gluing souls together . For some reason this " being " , helped and initiated the process , in which I, as well as other copies of the original Kurumi , were created . And this " being " , looking at the tasks given to me , still want this process to occur in other time lines . '

' Yes , it is supposed to happen and hapend in a different timelines . And it will be my job to make sure that happens in my . Each Kurumi created by this " being" will be given its own timeline with the task of preparing that timeline to branch out at some point to include a new Kurumi , who is actually the same Kurumi but from the past ? . Actually explaining it and understanding it is a completely different matter .'

Now thinking about it , I have to ask myself . From where this certainty , that this " being " helps in this process ?

' It is simple ..... I do not believe that anyone below the power of some divine " being " could independently manipulate three souls and place them in difren timer lines with the powers of Kurumi Tokisaki . '

Thinking about it I am sure that even the original Kurumi could not have done it . Even more so when looking at the scale of it all . Looking at the thousands of copies , which were in that void along with the clock . Thousands of copies of Kurumi in different timelines , all with the possibility of becoming in the future a person with the same power as the original Kurumi Tokisaki or perhaps even stronger than the original . And the original Kurumi Tokisaki despite the overt limitations on her power is monstrously powerful anyway .

' The very fact that she could go back in time is a divine ability . Even if orginal Kurumi couldn't do it non-stop , the ability to turn back time to avoid or prevent a certain event is a cheat in itself . Let's say I meet a very powerful person , which under normal circumstances I simply can not defeat because let's say he or she gained immortality and the ability to destroy planets with a blow .'

' If this person is not older than twenty years and this person was not so powerful from the moment of creation in the womb or birth . As long as this person's mother was not impossibly powerful , then I can simply kill him or her in the womb or kill this person's mother before she even became pregnant . Of course, this is a scenario that would be very much in Kurumi's favor . '

' But that doesn't change the fact that going back in time to manipulate things to my advantage is very helpful , not to mention the fact that this can be life-saving . And well let's be honest as long as someone doesn't have the power to control time , how exactly are they supposed to stop someone going back in time ? '

' The only thing that limited Kurumi's ability to go back in time was her own energy and the obvious butterfly effect and beyond that , nothing can stop her. From orginal Kurumi's memoirs I can clearly conclude that with enough energy , going back in time a thousand or two thousand years is not impossible . However, this increases the risk that the timeline completely colaps , and the worst thing that can happen because of this is to erase yourself or a loved one from the future by preventing that person or yourself from being born . '

' And that was just one of Kurumi's abilities . In addition to these skills, there is also shadow control , which was actually Kurumi's main skill . From here , I have confidence in Kurumi's power , which is powerful in many ways , but unfortunately is limited by the energy used to operate them . But still Kurumi's skills do not include any ability to manipulate souls . '

This thought was my main reason for assuming that the " being " controlling all this must surely exist and have a purpose in all this . But what is this purpose ? Why is this " being " doing this? ..... I am not sure , most likely it is to leave its mark , mark the timeline or secure it in some way . That at least is what I have deduced from years of thinking about it .

' So far , because of the assumptions of the mission entrusted to me by this " being " , I assume that I am , some kind of anchor connecting this being to this timeline . Or simply a carrier of this " being's " will ..... Anyway I don't know myself anymore , maybe a being like this just got bored and decided it would be fun . '

Thinking about my situation I tighten my nose and try to hold back tears . In fact the only thing I can do in my situation is to cry . I am powerless . In fact I am already reconciled to it all , in the end there is nothing I can do .

" Everything was going so well for me , I had already seen and planned the future ! Why is all this happening to me ? Why me ? Why !!? "

Talking to myself I hit my temples with my fists out of flustration , helplessness and anger . Unable to hold it in I involuntarily begin to cry not knowing what is happening around me , all my worldview and sense have lost meaning. Getting up from the floor , with light steps I walk up to the waist-length wall located on the front edge of the roof .

Leaning my elbows on it , I lean forward so that my head leans over the edge of the roof .Looking at the street below me , I grab my hair right at the base and pull them hoping that the pain of pulling my hair will distract me from negative thoughts

' Everything was going so well ... I found a home , I found friends , I built the foundations of my happiness . My life after years of despair on the street finally began to settle . But now ... I know too much .... Divine " being " manipulating my souls and fate exist , and I am nothing more than a creature of these " beings " , without my own fate or choice . I am a slave , a bird in a small cage thinking it has the whole world to explore .'

' This is all a lie , I am nothing more than a parasite to this world . I carry within me a " being " that is nothing more than a virus to this world . And my only purpose of existence when I grow up ..... Is to spread this " plague " further . I do not know on what scale all this is happening and whether I can at all refrain from taking part in it . Despite giving me a task I was not given information about the punishment for not completing it . '

' But looking at the fact that there are many Kurumi in different timelines there must be some way to control us . Perhaps something in our souls will make me drop dead after failing to complete a task or opposing its completion . Or just another Kurumi come to kill me or force me to work . '

' After all, one Kurumi has already controlled my entire life without my knowledge . From my encounter with her I can say with certainty that with my current strength , she could kill me instantly . And probably if I won and killed her , her place will be taken by the other more powerful Kurumi . So fighting it just doesn't make sense to me . '

' Escape ? How to escape from the being inside me ? Also, where to escape ? Even with the possibility of escaping to other timelines , what line should I go to without knowing in which line the other Kurumi are ? Besides, by escaping I will leave Neo and Emerald behind ..... And who knows what will happen to them ? '

Thinking about it I bang my head against the wall under me . My hands let go of my disheveled hair and grabbed the wall instead . Then my eyes focus on the street below me . My body unconsciously leaned harder towards the edge of the roof . My hands were ready to help me climb the wall in front of me . Only when my painful belly leaned against the wall , I realized what I wanted to do . And it did not worry me , because this is not the first time . In fact the first days were even more difficult .

" But if my supposition about the power of this " being " is true , even death will not save me ... "

Thinking about it, I am fully aware that even if I jump nothing will change and I will probably be resurrected or replaced . Besides, it is not my style . Yes the situation is hopeless , but still a part of me wants to rebel . And I also can't forget Neo ... This cursed world , I will not leave her alone in it . If my suspicion about the goals of this being is correct then there is no fucking option that I will leave anyone here . Emerald people from the pawn shop , even Lotus that old drugged up bastard .

" There is no escape from it right ? I am alone in this .... I'm totally screwed right ? ....Hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha "

While sobbing I asked myself a question that remained unanswered . However, I myself already knew the answer . So with all my impotence and lack of any other way to express myself ... I began to laugh . With a damn joyful laugh filled with satire and the hopelessness of my existence . And that was it ... I finally let go of that last screw in my head . Fuck it ..... Can't I even go a little crazy anymore ?

" Hahahaha HaHaHAhAhaHAha HaHaHAhAhaHAha.....Fuck it all. "

With this last word I turned around and sat down on the ground again and leaning with my back against the wall I looked at the starry , clear sky and the shattered moon , which both in the memores of the original Kurumi and the young boy was all unshattered . And yet , somehow this shattered version of the moon seemed prettier to me . It simply fit more . Calming down I tapped the back of my head a few times on the wall behind me .

' I have to be careful not to have these types of attacks around girls or anyone from the pawn shop . Better when they are not aware of anything . As for me , I know that my behavior is not normal , but.... I am just tired . I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind from all this . It may not seem like it but , I am still just a homeless brat . From a thief and killer I have now become some kind of agent of a " divine being " . Instead of worrying about loan repayment , I worry about other timelines and " divine beings " winding up with souls . And in all this I am fully aware that there is nothing I can do . '

With these thoughts , I focus again on the same question . And what assumptions I have about the whole purpose of this .

' Why does this " being " need me and army of copy Kurumi ? From the information I have I can't conclude much . Of course I have my theory of an anchor to this reality . But why would such a being need this anchor ? I have only scraps of information , which I have transformed into several theories . But the main and most plausible theory is related to the need for energy '