Issues

"Hey!", Luke greeted as he entered the living room, finding Zephyr, Alex and Haley relaxing, "Which one of you awesome guys or pretty ladies wants to take me to meet a girl?". 

"You think flattering us is going to get you a ride?", Zephyr retorted, balancing a spinning ball on the tip of his nose. 

"I'll take you", Haley immediately answered, "Tell me when you want to leave. Besides, I like Rose". 

"I like her as well", Alex nodded her head, "I think she's good for you Luke". 

"This is a new girl", Luke shook his head, "She's Sarah. I'm done with Rose. She's crazy". 

"Easy Macklemore", Haley interrupted, "What do you mean 'crazy'?". 

"I'll tell you what he means", Alex replied, standing up from the couch she was seated on beside Zephyr, "Any time a woman challenges a man in any way, suddenly, she's crazy". 

"So what did she do that's suddenly so crazy Luke?", Haley questioned, "Give you her opinion?". 

"Or what? Did she dare talk about her feelings?", Alex added. 

"I think you gals are looking too far into this", Zephyr placated, trying to calm the sister duo down. 

"What you're saying sounds like you get what I mean but your tone is throwing me off", Luke muttered, a confused look on his face. 

Zephyr shook his head in disappointment upon hearing his answer, "Why did I even expect anything from you, Luke?". 

"Just tell me you said something nice to her when breaking up", Alex continued, ignoring Zephyr's comment. 

"I haven't broken up with her", Luke responded. 

"What?!", Alex, Zephy and Haley simultaneously yelled. 

"It just seems weird to call someone up and give them bad news", Luke attempted to explain, "She'll find out somehow". 

"Ugh", Haley groaned in disgust, "When did you become a guy, it's gross". 

"You need to stand up and face her", Zephyr commented. 

"Ugh, what? In person?", Luke mumbled. 

"What are we? 30?", Alex shook her head, "Do it over text, duh. It's 2015". 

"You need to break it to her gently", Zephyr advised. 

"Yeah", Alex nodded her head in agreement, "Tell her she's awesome". 

"And pretty", Haley added. 

"If she was awesome and pretty, I wouldn't be dumping her", Luke remarked. 

"Just do it you pig", Haley snorted, walking away from him. 

"We all know that I'm not going to do it", Luke stopped them, holding his phone out, "So if you want it done, here". 

Alex took his phone from his hand and looked at him in shock, giving him enough time to calmly exit the door. 

"We need to teach him a lesson", Haley announced as soon as he was gone. 

"You're right", Alex nodded in agreement, "But how?". 

"I got it!", Zephyr, "We do exactly what he wants us to do". 

"Huh?", Alex and Haley muttered in confusion. 

Seeing their lack of understanding, Zephyr explained himself, "From what Luke said, we're aware that Rose will react poorly to us sending a breakup text where we talk about how awesome, cool and pretty she is, so we use that to our advantage. We send her a text exactly like that so when she sends a response, we argue with her through texts. Knowing the type of girls Luke likes, Rose will likely know Sarah and then Rose will tell Sarah about Luke and Sarah won't go on a date with him". 

"OMG!", Alex exclaimed, "You're right!". 

"You're a genius!", Haley screamed, "I could kiss you and you're massive brain right now". 

"Please don't", Zephyr refused. 

"Yeah", Alex agreed, "Please don't kiss my boyfriend". 

"I didn't actually mean it", Haley tried to defend but her words fell on deaf ears. Seeing this, she groaned, "Whatever", and exited the room. 

"Where are you going?", Zephyr inquired. 

"I'm going to get my phone so I can talk to my girl friends and we can come up with the best breakup text", Haley explained. 

"You need to ask your friends for help?", Alex asked. 

"Well duh", Haley answered as though it was obvious, "You two have never been in any relationship other than with each other so you'll both be useless, so I'll need a group of people who've actually experienced breakups to make the 'perfect' breakup text". 

"Thats ... surprisingly smart", Alex muttered. 

"It is", Zephyr nodded his head, "Are we sure that's the real Haley?".

"Sadly, it is", Alex shook her head, "I saw her take like a bunch of selfies in her room while no one was looking".

"That sounds exactly like her", Zephyr nodded his head in agreement.

"I know right", Alex agreed, "I almost forgot that it was actually her for a second. 

"Hey!", Haley yelled, indignant by the comments they were making and the way that they were ignoring her presence, "I'm here you know!". 

"Really?", Zephyr raised an eyebrow, "You're still here?". 

"I thought you'd have already gone to text your friends since that's all you ever do anyways", Alex sniped. 

Haley gasped, "How dare you?! I'll have you know that I only spend 8 hours a day messaging my friends"

"I'm surprised you can even count that high", Alex muttered. 

"Or that you can tell the time off an analogue clock", Zephyr added. 

"Ugh, what am I? Grandpa's age?", Haley rolled her eyes, "I accidentally used that setting thingy that lets you see how long you're using an app". 

"That makes more sense", Zephyr whispered to Alex who nodded in agreement. 

"For a second I thought she was evolving", Alex whispered back. 

Seeing them returning to their conversation, this time more silently, Haley groaned and stormed out of the room. 

Once she was gone, Alex turned to look at Zephyr and said, "She didn't even realise that we insulted her". 

"I know", Zephyr nodded, "I think she's a bit slow". 

"You think?", Alex drawled, "I know for a fact that she is". 

"So what do we do while we wait?", Zephyr asked. 

"I don't know", Alex shrugged, unsure herself of what to do. 

"How about we make out for a bit?", Zephyr suggestively whispered. 

Alex shook her head, "Haley or Luke could come in at any time, we shouldn't d-". 

Before she could finish her sentence, she found Zephyr's lips pressing firmly against hers. After a few seconds, their lips separated from each other. A look of curiosity flashed in Zephyr's eyes as he licked his lips, "Bubblegum? That's new". Before Alex could retort, she found Zephyr's lips, once again, on her hers. 

[Time Skip]

"Oh My God!", Luke exclaimed as he entered the living room once more with his phone in his hand, "Rose just read your breakup text, and she mad". 

"What?!", Alex exclaimed, slapping her book shut and setting it down on the table. "Give me that!", she yelled as she snatched his phone out of her hand. 

"Thanks for the dumbest breakup text ever", Alex read off the screen, "Don't call a girl awesome and then dump her. If I'm so great, why'd you dump me in the first place? Get over yourself you insensitive troll!". 

"What is her problem?!", Haley raised her voice, perfectly in role, "She can't talk to you like that! Only we're allowed to talk to you like that!". 

"Yeah", Zephyr nodded, "Only we're allowed to bully you for being who you are". 

"She's not talking to me", Luke countered, "She's talking to you three". With a large grin on his face, Luke exited the room, feeling all smug. 

As soon as he walked up the stairs and shut the door of his room, the trio snapped out of their roles and a large smile appeared on their faces. 

"Oh yeah!", Haley exclaimed, high-fiving Alex and Zephyr. 

"You were right!", Alex conceded, "She responded exactly like you said she would". 

Zephyr, who was still sitting down, steepled his fingers, muttering, "Excellent. It's all going according to plan". 

"Stop that", Alex said as she smacked him on the back of the head with one of the couch pillows. 

"Stop what?!", Zephyr complained. 

"Looking like a villain", Haley answered, "You look like that almost bald-looking guy from the Simpsons". 

"You're right", Alex nodded, "He does!". 

"I do not!", Zephyr argued. 

"You do!", Haley and Alex argued back simultaneously. 

"Urgh", Zephyr groaned, "Let's just go back to our plan".

"Fine", Alex rolled her eyes. 

"Okay", Haley nodded, taking Luke's phone out of Alex's hand, "Now for phase 2: the teenage fight". 

"We seriously need to come up with better code names?", Alex muttered. 

"I don't see any problem with it", Zephyr shook his head. 

"Really?", Alex sarcastically asked, "Maybe it's because you have an equally bad naming sense". 

"I don't!", Zephyr argued. 

"Are you sure?", Alex raised an eyebrow, "What about bae?". 

"The name's short, sweet and rolls of the tongue", Zephyr defended. 

"You really couldn't have come up with a better name?", Alex questioned. 

"It was the best I could think of at the time", Zephyr muttered, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. 

"Whatever", Alex groaned, "Let's just hurry up and finish before Luke realises what we're up to". 

[Time Skip]

"Oh My God!", Luke exclaimed as soon as he entered the room with his phone in his hand, "What did you do?!". 

"We stuck up for you", Haley explained, turning the volume of the TV down. 

"Yeah", Alex nodded, "Rose had it coming. She can't talk to you the way we do". 

"Well. Rose forwarded your text to Sarah and now Sarah doesn't want to go out with me", Luke explained. 

"Don't worry", Haley tried to calm him down, "We'll fix this". 

"You better!", Luke yelled, leaving his phone and storming out of the room. 

As soon as he was gone, Alex and Haley squealed. "It worked", Alex stated. 

"It did", Haley nodded her head. Looking around to be sure no one was there, she whispered to her sister, "Remind me to never get on Zephyr's bad side. I'm terrified of him". 

"Sometimes even I question what goes on in his head", Alex remarked.