CHAPTER 49

Bismillah

I cry all the tears in my body in front of the door sitting cross-legged on the floor. I can't even breathe anymore. And from there Yazid enters followed by Lamine. I had a little relief and I jumped on them and cried I don't care that they were in a bad state. I look at them and they have their heads down, I'm looking for Adama but I can't find him. No not that please not that no damn not my brother.

Me: Where is Moms?

They don't even dare look at me.

Me: FUCK ANSWER

Yazid slowly raises his head, looks at me with red eyes and shakes his head no.

I get it. I'm not shocked, I'm not collapsing. I'm not crying. I'm not glued to the spot. No, none of that. I totally had a fit, I went crazy.

Me: NOOOOOOO NOT MY BROTHER NOOOOOOO NOT HIM WHY III HIMIII? HE PROMISED ME TO COME BACK

And from there I go after Lamine and the street suddenly but weak.

Me: I HATE LAMINE I HATE YOU HEAR YOU. THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU HAD TO GO, NOT HIM. HAHAHAHAAA

I stop and he takes me in his arms, hugs me hard until I can't breathe. He's really pissed off. I cling to him and cry until I suffocate. Younes comes down crying, he has figured it out on his own. Yazid takes him in his arms.

In short, I slip my head into the crook of his neck and he does the same. I feel him breathing hard, and I smelled a liquid truck flowing. Yes he is crying in silence. It's the first time. Fuuuuu .... He gives me kisses to calm me down. Zeubiiii he annoys me.

He takes me back to my room and sets me down and leaves from there. 2 seconds later I hear hella crash and I started crying again. Kheridine woke up crying, so I'm calming down, going to take him and put him back to sleep. I go to my bed and cry without making much noise.

I call Nass' to let him know. I don't know if the boys did it but I need comfort.

Sa answers the second call

Nassim: -k.o- What's going on with you?

Me: He left sniff

Nassim: Who left? Stop crying.

Me: Adama. Adama he left for the afterlife.

Nassim: Nah you're lying, stop lying

I multiply my tears.

Nassim: PUTAIIIIIIN. WHYIII? HOW COME ?

Me: There was a descent.

Nassim: FUCK HIS RACE.

Me: -crying-

Nassim: Shuuuuu Melina, calm down, you're going to have a fit.

Me: He promised to come back. He promised me... It's my fault, I shouldn't let him go

Nassim: Tg tg says pas n'imp'. Allah has decided so and here is Allah Y Rahmo. I'm coming !

Me: Not your cousin?

Nassim: I will come back

Me: No, wait until tomorrow.

Nassim: Damn it sucks.

Me: Don't shout

Nassim: Sleep now.

Me: I can't

Nassim: Do you want me to stay with you?

I do...

He stays with me on the phone and around 7 am I slept. Tomorrow is another day...

[...]

I wake up, look at the time and it's 4 p.m. oulala I slept hard...

I get up pt, dress like a bum and go to the kitchen!!! I calculate nobody. I take a small food truck and go back to my room.

When we knock on the door.

Me no .

The person walks in and it's Rania

Rania: It wasn't a question.

She comes to sit next to me and takes me in her arms. And I cry.

Me: He's gone

Rania: That's life, Melina. We belong to Allah, to Him we will return.

Me: Fuuuuuuuuu how am I going to do without him?

Rania: You'll get used to his absence...

Me: -crying-

Rania: Are you going to stop feeling sorry for yourself? Don't forget that he has parents, two sisters and friends.

Me: Yeah....

Rania: Good now you come!

Me: mmmm

We go down to the living room. There is everyone. The girls have red eyes. They cried over.

Then we went to see the family. Keïsha and Redoine were there... There were hella people, family plus the neighborhood. It was crying from right to left and me too of course. The worst was their mother. In short, we quickly returned, I went up to Mams' room and I cried while looking at the photos we took together...!

...: Stop crying. It does nothing. That's not going to bring him back.

Me: mmmm

I dry my tears, he comes next to me and hugs me. He rocks me and I fall asleep

[...]

I wake up on Adama's bed and I overhear a discussion between Yazid and Lamine.

Yazid: Go talk, she needs you.

Lamine: Don't say tb. As soon as she learned of his death she hounded me, saying that it was I who should leave, not him. What does she need from me?

Me (in my head): No at all it was on the nerves. I seriously need you.

Yazid: Stop talking shit. It was on the nerves, stop being stupid, you know very well that she didn't mean it.

Ayaaa my baby Yazid I love him, he thinks the same as me!!

Lamine: Yeah we'll see that.

[...]

~2 months later~

The burial took place in Mali but I didn't go there. The boys yes. Samir Souley Rania and Nassim went up to see their cousin because he woke up. Younes, has been sleeping at Tata's ever since. The boys keep their heads up except one Lamine. He sank hot, a free fall in his bisness. He wakes up in the morning, goes out, comes back in the evening drunk with a girl and every day it's another one.

Me, well at the beginning I was tight, he told me it's only whores and your my hlel, I'm going to ask myself and come to you khtob and blablabla. As time passed, I no longer believed in it, so I gave up. I did everything for the statement but he didn't put his own into it.

I am depressed. I no longer eat, I have completely stopped crying. The day I take care of Kheridine and Yazid after that I squat my room with Tiger and I put myself more thoroughly in religion. It's decided I want to convert, I learned a lot of things, I want to wear the veil. I'm just waiting for the right moment and I've told people about it so far.

Ah yes I forgot the family in Adama we moved. They went to Nice with Kaïsha and Redoine.

Goodbyes are done in sadness. Me and Keyla swore to keep in touch.

In short today I decided to raise my head. To take things in hand and turn the page. I take a good shower, dress normal and I go to cook myself. Meanwhile Yazid is up.

Yazid: Wesh little sister!

Me: Wesh

He gives me a bossah on my temple

Yazid: Huuum finally I found my Mélina?

Me: Yeah

Yazid: Aaaaah what do you want to do today?

Me, I do not know. No, first we'll empty Adama's room, then I'll clean the whole house a bit, and then we go out with Kheri', Sarah and Karim. Then we go get Younes. And when are the boys home?

Yazid: Wednesday (it's Monday) and are you sure about the room?

Me: Yeah! You have to turn the page so you have to do it completely.

Yazid: Yeah, make me my breakfast please

Me: Yeah go take Kheridine

Yazid: Yeah

He goes up and I make their breakfast. They have lunch and then we're going to empty Adama's room. I dropped a few tears but I dried them quickly.

Then I clean up, eat, we eat and we go out.

Me: Where do we take your car?

Yazid: Yeah!

We're ready to go out when Lamine goes down

Lamine: Where are you going?

Me of...

Yazid cuts it tshiiip

Yaz': We're going out

Lamine: Where? With ?

I am....

He cuts me again

Yaz': At C.C with Sarah and Karim.

Lamine: You-me-you're not going.

I look at it but mdddr you.

Me: But mddddr you. Go go with your bitches and leave me alone. I do what I want. Yazid are we going?

Yaz': Yeah

We go out and go get Sarah and Karim. When we took them, they shouted at me, because I gave more news. But after I explained them a bit and they shut their mouths and apologized!!

[...]

The day went well. Yazid got closer to Sarah and I to Karim but nothing more, he's just a friend.

Anyway, after we went to Khalti and Tata and took Younes and since there was Anissa at her house, so I took them with me and we went to talk.

Anissa: Are you better?

Me: Yes yes and you?

Anissa: Yeah!

Me: I came for you to advise me

Anissa: I'm all ears

Me: Mddddr!!! Bah infact during these two months, I put myself thoroughly on Islam and there I want to convert but I am waiting for the right moment!

Anissa: YOUYOUYOUYOUYOU

Me: Mddddr stop screaming, I said I'm waiting for the right moment!!

Anissa: Mdddr csameil

Me: So?

Anissa: Bah go ahead wesh!

Me: Mddddr thank you and you when is it for the veil?

Anissa: Soon soon the same I'm waiting for the right moment. I must be ready. I don't want to do tb with it... There are girls who wear it but don't respect themselves.

Me: Yeah I know that!

And suddenly Younes enters the bomb room

Younes: LILIIIIIIIII!!

And he jumps on my arm!!

Me: Oh slow!

Younes: It's been a long time weshhh

Me: Ayiiii you talk like a thug

Younes: It's not me it's the guys downstairs

Me: Mddddr no big deal!

Younes: Yazid said we're going home!

I'm alright ! Good my wife we stexte!

Ani': I'm fine, ciao

Me: Ciao

He's going to take all his things, we say goodbye to Tata and we go down.

Yazid: Two years

Me: Ayiii stop lying!

You': Mdddddr it's not even true

Yaz': Me now I'm lying?

You': Yeah yeah!

Yaz': Wait later!

You': Mdddddr you!

Yaz': Ayiii how are you acting the thug!

Me: You saw!

Yaz': Yeah, this neighborhood has completely changed you

You': Lili she said it doesn't matter so you leave me

Yaz': Stop being big, I'm going to hit you

Me: Hahahahaha

You': Mdddddr it's boooon

The trip was a joke. Arrive at home, I put Kheri' in the living room and I go to cook. We eat and go to sleep.

[...]

The others are back. Souley came to apologize because since the last time I haven't spoken to him. I didn't like how he spoke to me. In short Nassim him always a deuh and Rania she deuh with her hormones. I told him about my choice. She's happy for me and she advised me to leave home because it's not good. Guys, he's not my brothers so it's better that I rent an apartment or go to Khalti or Tata. And also it is better to convert Younes.

Anyway, Yazid hasn't changed. Kheridine is doing well. Lamine has become worse than before. I do not care. The little fools are doing well. Same Amina. The Tatas too. I have news from Kaïsha Redoine and everything except Keyla but hey...

To be continued...