The death and finding a drunk dude
Today has not been a good day for me. But before I get started with explaining things l should probably introduce myself. My name is Tim, and my last name doesn't really matter at this point because I am dead.
Currently I am just chilling in what looks like a huge white area, just casually strolling forwards through an endless expanse of white. As I walk why don't I tell you about my day. It started early in the morning when I woke up late for work, so I rushed to get ready and ran out of my house to walk to work, which is only about five minutes away from where I live. It took about 2 minutes since I started my walk for dark storm clouds suddenly rush into what was supposed to be a clear sunny day. Seeing this as it looked like it was gonna start raining, I on started running to the street so I could avoid the rain.
As I was running across the street to get to cover, I stopped and looked both ways, as any smart person should do, when while looking to the left I saw what looked like a giant, frothing at the mouth, dog running towards me. Since I already made sure the road was clear, I ran across it. Unfortunately I was halfway across the road when I saw a truck coming right at me. I quickly used my catlike reflexes to dive headfirst on the sidewalk in an awesome display of speed.
Sadly though, I was still in the middle of the road, so instead of landing in a roll on the sidewalk and walking it off looking cool, I instead dove head first into the edge of the sidewalk, cracking my skull open.
Fortunately, I work at a hospital, so a group of nurses helping a patient out of the hospital saw it happen, and after she laughed at my agony for a minute got some people to bring me in for help. But before I could be brought into the hospital doorway, I and the people carrying me were struck by lightning, finally knocking me unconscious. The next thing I knew I'm in this white space, fully healed. Instead of waiting around and seeing if some god or something would come and eat my soul or whatever, I decided to just walk. And so that is what I am currently doing.
Walking.
Just walking to see if this place has anything in it. I'm not to sure how long I've actually been walking now that I think about it. If I'm not really thinking about it it feels like I only just started walking, but if I try and actually consider how long I've been walking, it feels like centuries have gone by and my mind spins at how long it is. Fortunately I can fix that by just not thinking about it. Anyways I think that I can see something in the distance! Even if it's some demon or something I will at least have something to do other than walk.
Now that I'm actually getting closer I can finally see what it is, and I am not impressed at all. All it is is a massive pile of all sorts of alcohol, from beer cans to wine bottles to even barrels of mead. And in top of it all is some guy who looks like a weird cross between Dumbledore from Harry Potter and Morgan Freeman, despite neither of them looking anything alike. As I approach him he stands up and loudly mumbles to himself about his "divine drinking skills being top notch" and that he is proud of himself. As he sees me he loudy announces " WHO ARE THEE WHO APPROACHES ME, THE GREAT AGDUM GOD OF...". Unfortunately for AGDUM, he tripped over a beer can midway through his introduction, slamming his face into a pile Wine bottles and knocking himself out.
Even after dying things just can't be normal for me, can they.