30th December

"Please don't worry the darkness of my soul.

It ignites me like an embered coal". Days don't seem to pass. Walking like a dead inside the room ,thinking whether will I ever to able to get out? Rememberace of that day, A girl will never want to remember.

I quickly went near to the windows. Looking at the sky, I realized the sky is dark but not darker than my soul.

The hospital room is as devoid of beauty as I am of hope. Its walls are simply cream, not peeling or dirty, just cream. There is no decoration at all save the limp curtain that can separate my bed from the three others in here. It was perhaps once the kind of green that reminds people of spring-time and hope, but it's faded so much that the hue is insipid. The room as an undertone of bleach and the floor is simply grey. At the far end are windows in brown metal frames, only openable at the top. Not a single person has flowers, cards or home brought food. They are sleeping to pass the time or staring at nothing at all. There are stands for intravenous drips and monitors. At the door are dispensers for rubber gloves, hand sanitizer and soap. These items only reinforce my fear of germs, they are so ubiquitous here that cleaning is mandatory every time a doorway is passed or a patient is touched.

My room seems void of emotions and full of pain. No one visits me. With a diary and a pen I do complete my journal. The brown and dull wooden door seems to be as gloomy as my soul and ...(#blackout)