hesitations

once again that shock to misen wasn't enough , but also when she without hesitation took her first minute to befriend with danlang...the first stare the first talk was shocking and sarcasmic of course by the way she decided to started off as -just-friends- supremacy. ... hesitations are hard to deal with since!

ahhh well "jerrymi" ..why did you add his brother too slow (sarcasm) yesterday on your ig .. aren't you interested at all in him ..mm..ah hhh hmm i seem to enjoy the funny talk that day so i added him slowly on my ig! (sarcasm) (chukles) ..!.

well then do you want me to set him up for you..(misen was always kind of unfriendly goose to the boys so she felt a bit awkward in admitting) ahh no no ! you know how much to the point i like boys don't you ?... okay okay i know you hate them... you hate the thought..miss i won't do anything.. enjoy your day I gotta talk to my fiance....aish.. this fiance letting you forget your beloved cousin huh ?!?...

it will soon be summer break for misen .. she'll soon be free for her poems and stuff...its her favourable time with grandpa and kitchen of course you guess she cooks well.! .

mi ..mi mi ..! from tomorrow you'll have your school holidays do you want to visit your mom meanwhile ?....no granda it's really hot ..why don't we just sleep ..huh!.ahh you okay then don't go I'll be visiting your cousin's in laws I've some business there...huh?!! where her in law??...mmm ahh o.okay be careful on your way.. please see you in the evening.

with the desperate conscience she was considering talking to danglang (conscience that is soggy sometimes but felt a little pink lately as if her conscience thought that maybe one day if i won't have my only people around me I've one more hand to hold to ..as if it was fated to be ..) but who knows what happens in life everything is coincidentally happening to everyone without even a clue ..! you see.

i should text!...i should not . should.... should not!...ahhhhh so frustrating I'd better write ny journal since seong will be going on vacation I've nobody to play with.....less friends is a bit ..ah well

bell rings up .. hey mii I'm downstairs I'm doing video call to my fiance do you want to say hi...ahhhhhhh nope you stay happy talking there..bye and Stop Calling when you're still at home downstairs you can't even walk up to jere .. ahhh do some exercises before your marriage girl you'll be looking fatty lamb ..gosh ... really i really wanted to do exercise ah well leave it ..it won't look that obvious by the way ..! I'm going to go bye..!

who's so much excited ahhh to get married now I've started to think she's desperate to be mother of 10 babies in a pile (sarcasm) .haha .!(chuckles softly)..aish girl..!

( next day .!..of misen's holiday )

And things started to felt boring like ever .., every yeat the same thing, but the thing my grandparents isn't young anymore they can't piggyback me ..if I'm hurting i can't let them know..if I'm crying i must cry somewhere even a ghost can't see me (misen writes) ..the summers aren't same as always we can't go walk long way together since they've less energy to walk but sit at home ..the more i grow up the more foggy things seems ..the Autumn, burning leafes ...dreary bird that just now separated but the irony that they never leave their partner is wrong because somewhere there's a thing that some people stays with the other to some extent and they tend to leave..they tend to find someone more different than previous and the some just knows that if and if not I've to meet someone that would hold onto me till the end will meet me himself..so some choose different at different times until they get that one right person.. but isn't it funny how you find another right person when you have already one or two or three or a little more..your grandparents maybe your parents...ahh it confuses the realism and imagination..i wonder how this cycle ends at fate (misen ends ...the line ) ... wasn't i too deep in my thought that I forgot aish I've to make tea for gramdpa if he's home now...

grandpaa!...grandpaa...?! want some tea...are you tired glass of water huh..?!! ...hey mi its monday brother is off work do you want to go to aunty lee to meet her... and we can play some games there since you don't have anything...ahhh where's grandpa...he isn't home yet...maybe he's wondering outside he'll come after he's done with his work in evening as usual do you want to go or not ...?!!....ahhh no no you go and meet them... I'm not free .she speaks nervously ...hm ? not free..

are you doing some serious research?..no!..then some holiday homework?..nno!.them some serious investors are coming to see you ?..ah nooooo!..then how are you busy....ah I'm busy chatting with my friend you go why dragging me in...is it ..well then okay chat well.. I'll be sleeping in bye ..huh?! sleep . sleeping?...then why were you asking me to go with you you little.brat...ahhhish. ....well just because!...what just because?...hmm just ..ah. seriously this okay just sleep and don't call me again until gramdpa comes!

leemin ...lee ...did you find out what i told you to ..ahh mom..!! well that day is far away you know so why doing it now ..!...ah this little gosh she's my daughter so I want to gift her something ofcourse and you know you're now her fiance after that exchange of greetings you see...be responsible my fragile child...look who's your mother I've to be kind to my daughter -in-law ....that her sister is also Little cute let's invite them for a visit next time...(a witty kind mother thinking of her second son inside in her conscience)... danlang what do you say ..?...ahh .mom.well i don't knn.know...well its upon you when to invite I'll come down and greet grandma...well so no problem....(nervous tone)...! (well then that what was that again...mey mi mi sen will going to come..hmm i..see.) danlang in her conscience.! ahh should i text her early then. ..well how can i ..ahh why...? why ..what why..? brother are you really talking to yourself now ?..hmm i mean why my boss is too much ..i meant ...ahhh ok..okay..well don't worry ..hm. he was just bitted by some sort of dog maybe in his past life .. forgive him!(sarcasm)..! aishh... I'm even talking to myself and even hesitated in sending one hello ahh.. frustrating let's observe the situation first ..then we'll decide what to do ..yes..this is correct!