Struggling

Hearing what she had to say, I fell into contemplation for a bit.

It would certainly be a pleasure to be healed for free, as the more of my mind I can save just in case, the better.

However, after everything I've been through, I knew that more good things often come with strings attached.

What made me even more apprehensive to accepting this woman was that she awfully resembled Ranni.

The Ranni who was as cunning, scheming, and crafty as she was lovely.

I served her briefly, and even fell in love with her at one point.

However, like the rest of the people I've met on my journey, she eventually met her demise as well.

Under my own bloody hands.

Briefly recalling all of my sins and feeling hollow, I looked at the beautiful woman in front of me with a tightened heart. Then, I made a decision.

"...No need, I'll do it myself."

"Is that so? Alright, then."

Her serious demeanor faded briefly as she began to seem curious about how I would go about healing myself, and was seemingly wondering why I hadn't done earlier.

In fact, I was initially going to refrain from using any bit of my mind at all unless I was in dire straits. However, with the guilt of all my horrendous acts and failures coming back to me, I felt unworthy of receiving any kind of favor from anyone at the moment.

Raising the Clawmark Seal in my hands, I look towards Bete and Gareth.

"May I?"

The beastman still looked pissed of from our earlier confrontation, thus ignoring me. Luckily, Gareth gave me his approval to continue.

"Go on, you can do what you want lad."

Giving him a nod, I focused my mind and began to look for a suitable incantation to heal myself.

As I was looking for an incantation, I was filled with rage and disgust once more. Unlike the last time though, I kept a stoic look so the Loki Familia was unaware of my current feelings.

All of my healing incantations were either from the Two Fingers or the Golden Order, which are both extensions of the Greater Will's powers in the Lands Between.

Gritting my teeth, I fell into thought.

Should I use these incantations regardless of their connection to the greater will?

After a few moments, I decided not to. After all, perhaps using these spells would somehow allow the Greater Will to bring me back to that awful place I was in earlier. Not to mention my immense disgust of the thought of using incantations from that horrid scoundrel.

Softly shaking my head, I decided to never use any of the incantations that were somewhat under the jurisdiction of the Greater Will. After all, my current enormous lack of faith towards that scoundrel alone would probably make these incantations unusable to me anyway.

Filtering out any of the healing incantations that were under the Greater Will's jurisdiction, I was left with only one incantation.

The incantation of Bestial Vitality.

I focused on bringing out the bestial vigor of the incantation onto the Clawmark Seal and empowered it using the powers of my faith and mind.

Finally, with the bestial vigor being enriched further by the seal, I slammed it onto my chest.

"Hooo..."

Feeling my body being nourished and rebuilt with the vigor of beasts, I deeply exhaled.

Though it didn't heal me instantly like the other healing incantations, it would have to do for now. Plus, it also had the benefit of being mind-friendly with its consumption of it being minimal.

Opening my eyes, I met the curious-laden eyes of the goddess-like woman in front of me, nodded, and turned my gazed towards the ground once more.

The less interaction I had with the woman, the better. For her sake and mine.

Though she stayed for a bit more time after I ignored her, after a bit of hesitation, she finally made her way back towards the core of the group.

"Oi, don't go thinkin' you can do anythin' just cause you're all patched up now."

Just as I was thinking that I could finally be left by my lonesome, the beastman beside me eagerly made his presence known to me again.

Before I could show my compliance with not doing anything at the moment though, another figure approach from the main group and ruthlessly kicked the leg of Bete.

"FUCK!!! The fuck are you doin' Tiona-"

"C'mon, Bete! Don't throw around that shitty attitude so much!"

From thereon, their argument proceeded to escalate to the point were they began to rough each other up physically.

Feeling that I was forgotten, I filtered out what was going around me as I mulled over my thoughts in silence.

In all honesty, I was a bit jealous of the relationships that were present in the so-called "Loki Familia".

As I looked around, though everyone still kept up the basic vigilance towards me and other possible enemies, they were quite laidback all things considered. They talked, laughed, and even got into playful arguments with each other.

Why they were acting as such was also quite obvious to me as well, as it was evident in their eyes that they trusted each other.

And it was with this trust that they were confident in their survival, despite all the possible dangers that might come for them in the area.

As I journeyed through the Lands Between, I mostly did everything myself. Even in the rare cases that cooperation was possible, I'd still choose to do things alone as I couldn't trust anyone else.

Looking at them also reminded me of the few friends I had made... As well as how each of them eventually met their demise.

"Hey~"

Just before I could wallow in my misery alone even more, I felt a hand tugging at my sleeves. Bringing up my gaze to the owner of the hand's face, I realized that it was the woman who got into an argument with Bete earlier.

She had medium-length black hair and brown eyes, and wore clothing that didn't cover up her body much at all.

"For what reason have you approached me, miss?"

"Oh, don't be so uptight! You don't have to speak so formally y'know."

Raising an eyebrow at the excessively friendly patting I was receiving on my back, I decided to stay silent in response.

Seeing that what she was doing wasn't getting her anywhere, she lightly coughed and stopped her patting.

"Blair, can I borrow your greatsword?"

"No."

I immediately reject her request. Though temporarily parting with my weaponry was one thing, giving it to another person was an entirely other matter.

"Ehhh, even if it was just for a few days?"

"No."

"Awww..."

Her face tried to be as cutesy as possible, perhaps hoping that I would lend the sword to her out of pity.

Ignoring her pity-seeking, I decided to act ignorantly to figure out just why she wanted to borrow my greatsword. After all, although it was enhanced to the point of being called a 'God-Slaying Armament', it currently looked like a beat-up and shabby looking sword due to me not having the chance to clean it up yet.

Looking at the overall equipment standards of her group, it also seemed to be quite high as well.

Thus, I was left with the question of why she approached me and why she wanted my sword.

"Why is it that you seek to borrow my sword, miss?

"Well, my original sword melted away because of some gunk that came from a monster earlier. Sooo, I need a temporary replacement for it!"

Quickly glancing at the state of the equipment of the Loki Familia, I did indeed see that there were some armor and weaponry that were oddly melted in some places, so I decided to trust her word about that for now.

"If that is the case, there are other swords in your familia right now that are of better quality compared to mine."

"I mean, there are other swords I could use but..."

She briefly paused as her sparkly eyes gazed longingly at my Banished Knight's Greatsword.

"I don't think the swords we have on hand right now even come close to what you have! Trust me, although I don't like using my brain much, I have a certain feel that your sword is much better! I have a feeling that it's maybe even better than my previous sword! Hey, hey, can you tell me who made it? I want a sword-"

The revealingly-dressed girl spoke every word from her mouth excitingly and loudly, thus attracting attention from the group on to my sword. Feeling slightly irritated and threatened, I began to tighten my grip on it.

After a few moments of thinking about how I could make her give up on borrowing my sword, I was able to come up with something.

"Fine, I'll let you borrow my sword..."

"Really!? Thank you so-"

"Only if you can pry the sword away from my hands. If you can't do so, please leave me and my sword alone."

After I cut her off, she went silent, seemingly surprised at the proposition I just made.

Then, she looked at me with brown, doubtful eyes.

"Are you sure? I'm level 5 y'know, and I'm quite confident in my strength..."

I slightly raised my eyebrow at the unknown classification level she was talking about. However, I paid it no heed, as I was also confident in my strength as well even though it has been currently halved.

I would even go as far to say that amongst most of the creatures in the Lands Between, I've surpassed them all as long as we're talking about physical strength alone.

"It matters not to me the confidence you have in your strength. Will you take my conditions or not? If not, then I shall entertain you no longer."

"Wait, wait! I accept your conditions!"

Shaking off the doubt and indecision in her eyes, she looked at me with resolution and fiery will.

Briefly glancing at the people surrounding us, I realized that everyone stopped their march to look at our match with interest in their eyes. Silently clicking my tongue with the realization that I wouldn't be able to keep my sword if she were able to pry it away from my hands, I decided to go 100% with all the power I had left at the moment into gripping it hardly.

Raising the hand that tightly gripped onto the hilt of the greatsword, I beckoned her over.

"Come on then."

"Then, please excuse me~"

With a relatively relaxed look on her face, she put her hand on mine and tried to pry it open.

Slowly but surely, the relaxed look on her face disappeared and a frown appeared in its stead.

"Go sis! Make him eat shit!"

"That all you got Tiona!? You look like a weakling shithead right now! Put some more power into it!"

"Uh-h y-you can do t-this, Tiona!"

"Lad's holding it real tight! Give it your best Tiona!"

Encouragement from the girl's familia kept being said as time went by, and she seemed to be empowered by it as well.

Sometime down the line, she even started using both of her hands in trying to pry my hand open.

Eventually though, she ran out of breath and let go of the hand that I was using to grip onto the sword. Sounds of astonishment even rang out from the crowd when the girl failed to pry the sword out of my hands.

Ignoring it all, I stared deeply into her tired eyes.

"...As per the agreement, please leave me and the sword alone now."

Then I made my way towards Bete and Gareth, who were also looking at me with astonishment like the rest of them. However, I also paid them no heed.

Bringing my gaze towards the hand steadily and tightly gripping the Banished Knight's Greatsword, a bead of sweat ran down my brow.

That girl...Gave me a much harder time than what I expected.

Feeling a bit of dread about where the hell in the Lands Between I ended up with to have quite the powerful combatants that I've never heard of before, I mulled over the countless thoughts I had as I followed the group to the exit of this place in solemn silence.