The Whole World's Getting Pissed On

"Yep, the whole world's getting pissed on," Richie announced as if this explained everything. He didn't seem surprised by the news of Courtney's illness, and a smug look crossed his face as if to say "I knew it." Richie refused to believe that any woman could be interested in the likes of Melvin. After all, Richie had seen Melvin's feeble attempts to pick up women before, and it was sad enough to make a grown man cry.

"Thanks," Melvin said. The waitress scooted away, her pigtails flapping. Melvin turned to Richie, and Richie shrugged, the smug looked still on his face. Melvin wanted to wipe that look off so badly, but what did it matter if Richie believed him or not? Still, wiping it off would make him feel much better.

"I should call her," Melvin said. Richie nodded.

"Yeah, sure. I mean, at least she has a good excuse to stand you up," Richie said. Melvin didn't reach for his phone. The waitress came back with smiles and drinks for them both, beer for Richie and ice water for Melvin; Richie thanked her and took a sip of his frothy brew. Richie and Melvin sat in silence for a moment. Thunder grumbled outside, and the lights flickered off and on in the cafe.

"At least the day can't get much worse," Melvin murmured. Richie seemed to peer over Melvin's shoulder and raised his eyebrows. A strange expression passed his face. He put down his mug and pointed past Melvin.

"Don't underestimate your shitty luck. There's your ex wife."