☆26

Dear Diary,

Today the Great Spirit talked to me. His voice was very pleased with my thoughtfulness in singing the song on the walk. It was like a mental mind link talk where I was the only one who could hear Him. Today at work both of my ex-boyfriends came to my work. I felt mentally locked away so I felt hardly anything when the ex at the window talked to my coworker. I feel as if the ice in my heart is getting thicker and it is getting harder to bond with men in general. It isn't that I hate the presence of them but the consequences of being near them. I feel if I make myself emotionally unavailable that I could protect myself physically mentally. As much as I crave love in an addictive way I feel it is near impossible for me to attain. It would be nice if true love would come to me though but that is a pipe-dream that probably wouldn't come. Today is my best friend's remembrance day and I miss him so much. Belizma was my best friend for five years up until his death 25 June 2021 at 2:45pm.