THOUGHTS OF A SOUL IN SORROW

Curled up in a corner, hidden in the shadows. That's how the days of worm man's existence went by. Usually, all the monsters in the circus carried a deep sorrow. The case of the worm man was different. Yes, he felt sadness, but more than anything else, his soul was invaded by rage.

In the beginning, his first years in the circus, he felt despair. As the years passed, he turned his despair into a rage. It made him angry that he could not remember his family, it made him mad that he did not know that he had signed a pact with Lucifer, it made him sick that he felt so cornered that he had to sign a deal.

'How miserable was my life,' he would constantly ask himself. I must have been a drunkard, a thief, a beggar who sold his soul to Lucifer for a couple of coins, how humiliating! Every day, the worm man would invent for himself stories of how his life had been and what had motivated him to sell his soul.

He was free to create positive stories about his past. However, he always chose to denigrate himself with terrible stories about what he did in life. He was convinced that he was a horrible person.

Soon it would be the last show in the village they had been in for the last week. For that reason, the freaks had to go into it again to announce their great final show.

The worm man did not want to go, but for him, that was not an option. With the spirit in the ground, the worm man went to the village with the rest of his companions. That specific day he decided to separate himself a little from his companions. He could not stand the bad energy they gave off, the pain of his companions was driving him crazy, draining what little energy he had left.

"Come on, gentleman, come on, lady! Join us in the most terrifying spectacle ever! Our freak show is filled with the most wonderfully monstrous people! Join us in our final show!" The worm man shouted, again and again. That was a good way to let out a little of his anger, although it didn't always work, as his anger was already attached to his soul.

Even though he looked normal during the day, the people of the village did not approach him. They could see the anger in his face and the tone of his words.

"That man scares me a lot. It seems that he wants to beat up everyone who approaches him. He must be having a bad time. Poor man, who could have made him so angry..." People murmured as they watched him go by. The worm man pretended not to hear those kinds of comments didn't hurt him. He was aware that everything they said was true.

It was midday, so the worm man decided to return to the circus. There was no point in staying in the village. With a slow and crestfallen step, that poor soul in distress set out on his journey.

He was not going very far when he heard an agonizing moan. He looked everywhere but could not see anything. He was determined to leave when he heard a second moan. This time he could tell where it was coming from.

The worm man went into the brush, and there he witnessed a heartbreaking scene. Covered with branches and leaves was an abandoned baby. She was so small that there was no doubt that she was a newborn.

How could anyone do such an atrocity,' he thought. He took her in his arms, yet the baby wouldn't stop complaining, couldn't even cry. It was so cold that if a few more hours passed, there was no doubt she would freeze to death.

The worm man took off his shirt and jacket and tucked the baby in. He didn't care that he was freezing to death or that this was one of the few pieces of clothing he owned.

"I'm sorry, but I can't take you with me." The worm man whispered, then added. "I'd like to take you, but I'm a horrible person. You'd better die here." Then he put the baby back where he found her and walked away.

He was already going a bit far when he heard a voice calling him. He stopped and looked back. It was Jonah who was also returning from the village.

"Aren't you cold? Where did you leave your clothes?" The worm man remained silent.

"Why did you walk away from the others?" The boy asked.

"Today is one of those days when I can't stand to be surrounded by anyone.

"You say it as if you only have a few days like this. Ever since I've known you, you've always preferred to stay away." Jonah said.

"People like me must be isolated."

"I disagree. Nobody likes solitude. It is so painful to be alone."

"For souls as full of resentment as mine, being accompanied hurts even more."

"Why do you say that, worm Man? I don't understand it." Jonah asked, confused.

"I'm a horrible person, boy. I was before I died, and now I am too. I am filled with an uncontrollable rage. Every day it eats me up inside and takes away my peace."

"You can't be sure you were a horrible person. You can't even remember your past."

"That doesn't matter. Most people who sell their souls have black hearts. I'm sure I'm no exception."

"You know that's not true. Evangeline sold her soul to Lucifer, and you are a witness that she is not a bad person."

The worm man preferred to remain silent.

"I don't know who you were before, but now you are a good person. Rage floods you, but still, you prefer to keep it within you so as not to harm others."

"Do you really believe that about me?" asked the worm man, raising his head for the first time since they started walking.

"You are noble, worm man," Jonah replied with a small smile.

The worm man stopped in the middle of the road, his face reflecting an intense concern.

"What's wrong with you?" Jonah asked.

"Nothing is that I left anything in the way. Go first." After that, the worm man ran back. He kept thinking about the atrocity he had committed. He was sorry.