Emptiness

You can never truly feel alive unless you've felt empty. It is the soul of life, and beginning. There is nothing you can truly feel without that emptiness in your heart. It is the human's cup to fill. And the void they all go to after.

After a week of classes in my 2nd year of high school, seeing as there is nothing interesting happening. I decided to take a break and visit my mom.

So I decided that I would spend my weekend at my mom's grave. She died when I was 7 years old because of an accident. I was loved by her, and I loved her so much, that is why the pain she left me brought me the first empty cup. Well, that was it. Now, I just think that she went far away and got reincarnated in some fantasy world or something.

People might think I'm cold but hear me out. There is no such reason to dwell on the past and dwell on feelings that aren't even there anymore, I could never understand people who dwell on their past like that. For me, it just felt like , I had to move on.

I talked and talked in front of my mother's grave and I was satisfied, knowing that at least this emptiness she left me behind was filled with feelings of regret. And that regret bloomed into me, having a reason to come here and talk with her about it. That's all I felt.

The weekend soon came to and end, and I was back at my desk, looking at this crowd of people, to whom, in my mind felt like seeing empty husks. The bell rang and homeroom soon started.

<Today, you've got a transfer student joining you>

As the teacher said that, I felt a little bit of interest.

<Good day, I am Mitsuki Ichinose, nice to meet you>

She had short silver hair in a ponytail with a side bangs that went down to her chest. Long eyelashes and beautiful blue eyes. She is beautiful.

But yeah, She is beautiful, but I felt like.... Awkward is the word to describe what I am feeling. She doesn't look empty, and she is cheerful in someway. Ah, this is the kind of people I hate the most. The over friendly type. I breathe a deep sigh, and everyone from the class looked at me, as I was not surprised, I looked at the window beside me and continued on.

<You can sit at the back where the empty seat beside Shawn is>

<Yes, thank you>

The class continued on. After the homeroom, Ichinose who is my seatmate talked to me and said

<Hi, shawn, I am Mitsuki Ichinose, I hope we can be friends>

And I gave her a glance, I looked into her eyes

<Say,I heard your name earlier, but.... what is your definition of friends?>

<eh....>

I casually asked, and to my absolute utter surprise(sarcasm), she did not know how to answer the question. I breathe yet another sigh, and;

<You know, we can't be friends, you and I are different, as long as you don't bother me, I won't bother you, so care to not talk to me again? People like you will find their place soon, and I have already mine>

Mitsuki Ichinose POV:

I was born into a rich family, was educated by countless tutors. I was never proud of the things I have, I never bragged them. I was friendly to anyone without restraint. I was your typical good girl that looked for meaning in my life.

Today, I am gonna be transferring to a new school. It is a good day, so with a smile on my face, I grabbed my bag and went to school. The homeroom teacher introduced me to the class and I soon said my part

<Good day, I am Mitsuki Ichinose , nice to meet you>

As soon as I introduced myself, I heard a huge Sigh coming from the back of the class, it was a boy who looked good, but not to the point where I can tell he's hot. But he does look good, I guess he doesn't like to be friends. The teacher told me to be seated at the back next to Shawn as he said.

So shawn is his name, I guess I will try to talk to him after the class.

The homeroom ended and I looked at shawn

<Hi , I am Mitsuke Ichinose, I hope we can be friends>

That was a good start to make a conversation if I do say so myself, be proud Mitsuki, you can do this, so with a smile, I looked at him intently

<Say,I heard your name earlier, but.... what is your definition of friends?>

<eh...>

Huh? what is this? what is up with his question? Does he think i'm and idiot that doesn't even know the meaning of friendship? huh? but what is friendship? huh? huh?

It left me with no answer, I was a good student, always at the top of my class, always friendly, of course I can answer a simple question like that, but....

The look in his eyes, it was as if he was looking deep into my soul and telling me that he can see me. It was a look that i've never seen anyone point at me, it was like a piercing bullet that doesn't want lies, and always seeking the truth. It was beautiful.

As I was about to say something...

<You know, we can't be friends, you and I are different, as long as you don't bother me, I won't bother you, so care to not talk to me again? People like you will find their place soon, and I have mine already>

Ehh? Place what place? what is he talking about? Won't bother me? But I am already bothered by it tho, huh? What??? What am I supposed to say to that? Does this person know how weird he is? No, but... am I the weird one for not understanding his point? Huh? This is driving me crazy. You!! Seriously, what is up with him. I just said that I wanted to be friends and this is what I get?

He looked at the window beside him, and that was it. But it felt like I just can't let it go, so I slammed his desk..

<Shawn, was it? Did I perhaps do something that you didn't like or annoyed you?>

And for the third time I heard another breathe of sigh, and he looked at me, like looking into a piece of broken glass.. it felt like I was something that isn't human, he was looking at me like I was complete thrash.

I have never felt anything like his cold gaze before, it was as if , he's telling me that my very existence is of no value for him. His eyes that looked like they were meant to search and not to look at the current view. I was overwhelmed. For the first time in my life, I felt as if that I was unnecessary. He's trying to say that I am an annoyance. Just as I was suppose to open my mouth to say something....

<I'm very sorry Ichinose-san, I was very rude earlier, wasn't I? Sorry if I said those things, I've just been very stressed lately. I hope to be friends with you too. I hope we can make it up>