Prologue

<p>"Fifteen years is a long time without a vacation, don't you think?" I look at him hypnotized by his strong beautiful dark eyes and walk to the kitchen. I can feel him following me like a magnet. He trails behind me poking me in the side, tickling me to get a response. I move away from him toward the kitchen sink.<br/><br/>Jayson works constantly as a history professor at the local college. I try not to bring up the lack of vacations we haven't taken over the years. I keep my thoughts to myself because I know what he'll say, 'I have too much work to catch up on and we have to pay for the renovations.'<br/><br/>"Come to me."I roll my eyes and stand at the large farmhouse sink he installed two years ago.<br/><br/>"Come to me."I hate when he says this, I'm totally mesmerized and I get a tingle knowing he's going to make me feel better. I slowly walk to him, his large hand reaches out to me to get a little closer, coaxing me to make less space in between us. He pulls me out through our French patio doors near the kitchen. My outside oasis, makes me feel better whenever I'm upset. He sits me in his lap, wraps his hands around me, and hands me a wide red envelope.<br/><br/>"Whats this?"<br/><br/>"Open it."<br/><br/>I feel his warm breath on my neck, he smells like cinnamon, always has. He makes me think of Christmas when he gets close. I'm distracted by his sweet soft kisses trailing from the back of my ear to the nape of my neck. As I open the smooth red envelope I'm surprised at what I'm reading. I jump off his lap and throw myself at him.<br/><br/>"Seriously! We're going?"<br/><br/>"Yes."<br/><br/>"When?"<br/><br/>"We leave this weekend."<br/><br/>"How long?"<br/><br/>"Why don't you read the confirmation Mrs. Librarian?"He laughs at me in the way that only Jayson can laugh it makes my heart sing and my entire body vibrates with warmth radiating from his laugh. He made reservations for a week stay at a beach house in Rockport. I begin to tear up and he stands over me kissing my happy tears away. He knows that between the both of us our schedules are hectic. For him to do this without me knowing means more than he knows."No more," he continues, I want to cherish every moment I have with you and Maddie. Maybe while we're away we can work on baby number two." He winks at me and I kiss him deeply to show my appreciation.<br/><br/>"You spoil me you know? I don't deserve you." He rolls his eyes which makes me laugh hysterically because he says I need to stop rolling my eyes and say what I'm thinking.<br/><br/>Early the next day we begin to pack. Our five-year old, Maddie, is so excited for the beach. She runs out of the house yelling, "Let's go! Beach! Beach! Beach!" Jayson and I laugh, we believe she's been more eager than either one of us. Maddie gets her pink butterfly blanket from four Christmas' s ago. She was pretty disappointed when I told her she couldn't take it with her when she starts kindergarten. So now she takes it everywhere. Maddie looks at me as she makes her way to the car,<br/><br/>"Mommy, will we build sandcastles on the beach?" I smile and look at her beautiful anxious face,<br/><br/>"Of course, baby. We will build many sandcastles." My answer appeases her and I ask her what else she would like to do while at the beach. Her eyes sparkle as she thinks a moment and in a sing-song voice,<br/><br/>"I want to build sandcastles and find she-shells!"<br/><br/>"That's right my little butterfly, seashells." I sneakily correct her and she jovially skips to the car lugging her tiny pink and purple butterfly suitcase, but barely gets away before Jayson quickly grabs her, tickles the side of her cheek with his nose. She squeals and the happy sound makes my heart skip a beat. He asks her, "Who loves you little butterfly?" She turns her head toward him and smiles shining her deep dimpled smile and kisses him on the cheek and says, "You daddy!" He sends love to her through his eyes and his smile and he reminds her, "And?" She swivels her head towards me with that same innocence and says, "My Mommy!" He tickles her again, tells her how perfect she is. He puts her down and she climbs in the car next to her booster seat. He smiles at me and mouths the words he shows me daily, "I love you beautiful."And slaps my ass as we continue to load up the car. We finished loading up the car and packed everything we thought we would need at the rented beach house near Rockport. I told Jayson we should fly, it would make things so much easier, and faster, but he says driving through old cities and towns would be just as special as the beach. He says we can't get that type of history on a plane. Jayson drove most of the way since it would only take a few hours to get to the beach. After driving for an hour, he decides that it would be a good idea to take a break from driving and possibly top the car off. As we're exiting, I hear the screeching of metal, the crushing of steel, and the smell of strong gasoline as smoke fill my senses. The car continuously flipped as if we were in a nonstop rollercoaster, all I could hear were the screams of Maddie, yelling for me, her mommy, then I didn't. I watched Jayson's eyes, they never left mine, he was saying goodbye and I love you all at the same time. He mouthed the words he says to me daily, nightly. All of it took over my senses, I could taste a metal flavor in my mouth that made me extremely sick to my stomach- I vomited and passed out.<br/><br/>The next day I awoke with tears in my eyes, bandaged like a mummy and laying in a cold hospital bed, alone.</p>