Chapter 12 Twelve

On Monday, after classes, I go to the park to see if I will find Malik there. I sit on the bench I danced on, nursing a Styrofoam cup of coffee and watching the high variety of people walk past. After two hours of waiting, I decide to head back to school. As I pass the coffee shop, the delicious aroma makes me duck in to buy another cup for the road.

Cleo wanted us to go on a shopping spree together but I made her cancel the plans and reschedule for tomorrow. I have an unshakable feeling that I might see Malik today and why I wanted to see him is still a mystery to me. I might just want to ogle at his beautiful face one last time. After I get my order, I leave the coffee shop, sipping as I go.

I sight a happy couple walking hand in hand from across the road. They are heading in the opposite direction, wearing dark heavy coats and scarves to protect themselves from the unfriendly weather. There is something about the girl's gait; light and airy, graceful as a swan even under the coat that seems familiar to me.

Feeling like a creep and a stalker, I cross the road and keep my gaze locked on them. The girl has dark curly shoulder length hair while the boy has a shaved head but it is easy to tell that his hair is very light, almost blond.

A wet, sticky emotion creeps up on me and I quicken my pace, trying to catch up with them. When I am in their earshot, I call out "Cleo! Adam!"

To my dismay, they turn their heads.

Shock is the only word that can describe the look on Cleo's face. That is how I know that my suspicions are right. Adam is looking anywhere but at me, his gaze flickers around the street like I am not even there.

"Gigi." Cleo's voice sounds like a wince. She quickly untangles her fingers from Adam's but I have already seen enough.

I do what I have been wanting to do for a while: I turn and run. The Styrofoam cup drops from my hand, spilling coffee on my jeans before falling with an inaudible clatter to the pavement.I hear Cleo behind me, which just encourage me to accelerate. I do not mind the crazy looks I am getting from people, I just want to get to school and lock myself up in my room. Maybe I can move back in with Dad and transfer to another ballet school. Once I saw them, I knew they were together; the way he looked at her and the way he looked at me cannot be mistaken.

Soon, Cleo is right behind me but I do not stop. I ignore the burn in my lungs and Cleo's desperate cries. Once I reach the stairs, I jump two at a time but Cleo catches up to me.

"Gigi!" Tears are rolling down her face, snot is running from her nose but the sight of her infuriates me the more. I push past her and enter the school gates. Once I am safely inside my room, I bury myself under my duvet and try to ignore her knocks at my door.

I do not go for dinner and force myself to sleep even though my mind was not at rest.

Cleo seemed too sweet and innocent to hurt me like that. She knew how much I liked Adam but she still got involved with him! No matter how much I would love to blame Adam, I cannot. Adam owes me nothing. He only asked me out on a date that did not come to pass. He has no loyalties to me, no ties whatsoever. But Cleo and I went all the way back and she still hurt me like this. I wonder if this is karma for being jealous of Cleo when she got casted for the role and being happy when I discovered that she would be too sick to dance.

How long had she liked him? Had she been nursing a crush as long as I was and kept it from me? Or did the feelings develop while they were practising together; all that alone time and body contact. Can I blame Cleo for wanting the boy I so badly wanted? Why did Adam ask me out if he had eyes for Cleo? Maybe he wanted to date us both. The idea is ridiculous, Adam knew that Cleo and I were friends and he would not have succeeded in dating us both.

I do not know if I can forgive Cleo. I am so mad at her, I never want to see her face.

The next day, the first thought that gets into my head as soon as I open my eyes is running home for some days and put some distance between Cleo and I. I abandon the idea because it is too similar to accepting defeat. But I know that I will not be able to stomach hours of classes in close proximity to Cleo and Adam.

After a quick shower with hot water, I dress in baggy tracksuit bottoms and an oversize T-shirt. I wear slides on my feet and lots of bangles on my arms. And without a backward glance, I escape through the gates.

I find myself at the park and settle into the nearest bench I see. I lean back and close my eyes, tuning out all the noises around me. Then suddenly, I feel a painful thump on my forehead. I jolt out of the bench with a shriek to see two pairs of eyes looking at me apologetically. One belongs to a furry monster of a dog and the other is an amber pair that belongs to a beautiful boy with a mane of curly hair.

I pick up the ball from the bench and throw it at him with all the rage in my body, aiming for his face.