Chapter there - Xander's Sorrow 

Zane

A few years ago I came across a scent so intoxicating that it nearly blew my lungs out. It was a mix of Mango, summer berries, fresh-baked bread, and some a mix of sweet spice. I and the pact were hunting in the woods after the yearly summit and it hit me like a freight train. I couldn't breathe, I hunted the scent for half the night, it had me going in a circle, my pack thought I was going crazy, I thought I was going crazy. Until I came across the blood on the ground covered up by the dirty but I could smell it strongly. My wolf let out a high pitch howl filled with nothing but pain. It hurt my heart, something fierce. The scent led me to the river where a makeshift grave was made. And every since then my wolf has said more than two words to retreat to the back of mind consciousness, our mate was dead, our mate was no more. The first few months after that he mourned her taking out his pain on every single rogue who dared to come near his pack borders. The torment and turmoil we went through are unbearable, on most days he just wanted to kill everything in sight, since we could not find out who she was, we didn't even know her name, her beautiful face, nothing we never got to meet her wolf. Just thinking about her makes him howling in pain so loud I always have a headache, sometimes so loud I blackout from the anguish and pain inside. My pact can feel it also, I've already had several challenges because they feel I no longer can be their leader, but they will all pay for her death, the world will pay for her death, because they don't understand, they will never understand, maybe it's better that I just let them rip my throat out finally and get it over and done with it, the pain that is scorching through my veins don't seem to be fizzling out anytime soon, maybe it best for everyone. At this point, they're all one strike away from death until I find the evil that took her from this earth before I got to gaze into her what must be beautiful eyes.

"You like that baby?" the fool between my thighs asked, how many times I got to tell these pitiful wolves to shut up and swallow. With a swift grip on her throat, I squeezed hard at first and spat

"you had one job and not even something as simple as keeping your mouth shut you can't do".

My wolf always recoils and retreat even further inside when I try to use these female to relieve some of the anguish I'm feeling, sometimes it helps but other time like right now it just makes my blood heats up hotter and all that left to do is kill everything in sight, it takes all my willpower not to kill everything that crosses my path and it taking everything in me not to kill this pathetic excuse for a she-wolf in front of me. I can see the life leaving her body before I release her throat and tell her to leave me be. She scrambles up to her things and leaves quickly without saying a word. Now she lost her voice. The darkness pulls me under and gives me the temporary reprieve from all the misery I feel on a daily basis, sometimes I wish I never found that grave. Smelt her scent.

"Xander" I call out, he just growls at me now, he hasn't said a word since that day. Now he just growls

"I'm sorry" another growl and then a high pitch howl, causing the darkness to gather around me faster. Yes, that's it. I welcome the darkness.

Fluttering my eyes open and groin at the feeling of life that my soul seems to be clinging to. I growl at the piercing light of the sun shining through the curtain Another five years and another summit, if it wasn't for my beta I wouldn't even attend this bullshit gathering. The Blood Moon Pack has been an ally of my pack ever since I can remember, I'm yet to meet the new alpha that took over a couple of years now, and to be honest I'm not interested in meeting him either but since our packs are neighbor and the treaty between our pack is still valid for the next fifty years he can't take over like they have been doing those other in the area. I'm not interested in gaining more territory at this rate. I have enough people I despise already. If it wasn't for the long-standing pact agreement I wouldn't even consider agreeing with my beta that I need to show my wolf at this gathering. I have been away from my pact for a while now so that I don't hurt any more of my pact when my wolf gets out of control. Maybe this year I just step down and hand the reins over to my beta, he can have the pact now. Might as well become the rouge I'm turning into because without her I'm nothing, I'm no one, I'm no better than a rouge. Time to make my way back to the pact to gather the men for this summit, maybe I should just go alone and challenge one of the other Alphas so I can get this thing i called life over with. Just the thought of it makes my wolf seethe. Laying on this cheap motel mattress seemed fitting for my dingy mood until I took a deep breath and Xander started stirring inside me frantically.

"Relax, we're heading back to the pact today, we can visit her spot one last time before we leave."

Getting up to shower and leave, my wolf is alert. In the shower, I ask

"What wrong, "

"I smell something, it's faint but it's" I inhale deeper as a yarn left my lip. All I smelt was my awful morning breath

"Mango, summer berries freshly baked something"

"What?"

"No bread" he howled

"No mate, she's gone, our mate is gone remember, I promise we go back one last time before we head home ok" I'm not sure what's gotten into Xander this morning especially since he hasn't spoken to me in years other than the howlings and growls. It's good to hear his voice again. Getting out of the shower and getting dressed is so robotic these days. Stepping outside into the putride sunlight, a familiar scent slammed into me.

Mango, summer berries, fresh-baked bread, it can't be. She died when I saw the grave. Xander frantically howled in delight and was pacing, working himself up into a frenzy at the thought that we may have been wrong all these years. But it's not possible, could it?

"Xander, could we have gotten it wrong, no, no, we definitely got it right, but that sweet smell"

He howled again with excitement letting our noise lead us. But I didn't want to get his hopes up. I know it could only be our imagination playing mind games because I saw the blood and grave with my own two eyes.

That's when I heard the most beautiful melodic sound I have ever heard and it was getting into a beat-up jeep about to drive away.

Could be, is this real. I stood frozen on the spot, not able to believe that maybe, just maybe we got it wrong and for the past five years we have been mourning the wrong person. It can't be. I blink in confusion as Xander urges me to move forward to meet her. I can only see her from the back.

"She's getting away" Xander barks in my head causing me to wince and my feet to move to cause me to stubble. I catch my balance and straighten up as the beat-up old truck pulls out of the car parking lot of the motel. I scramble to my jeep and slam on the gas to catch up with her vehicle. Something is wrong, no this can't be our mate, could it. I keep questioning myself. I slowly follow behind, keeping at a steady pace. I will wrap my head around what's happening, maybe it's all the alcohol I consumed. Alcohol doesn't generally affect werewolves due to quick healing so it would take a considerable amount of time to even get a buzz but I figure out a combination that can get me there quicker than most. Xander's constant pacing and tongue lagging got my mind running a mile a minute. I realized the exact minute she realized I was following her, her truck sped up faster, a chase, oh I love a chase, little mate you have no idea what you got yourself into.