The Blind May See More Than The Sighted

I sat at my desk, hunched over far from comfortability. I had already began to felt my body ache, and beg for me to sit properly. But I was so engulfed in my work that I couldn't tear away from it, even if it was for my own comfort. I hands flow gracefully over the buttons as more and more sentences form, adding to the world that lived in the pages.

"M. Michael?"

I turned slightly to the creak of the door and the voice that appeared after. I hear the person making their way to me, their footsteps pounding against the floor boards. A small hand was placed on my shoulder, I knew it was the person who had finished the distance from the doorway to me. Their presence was calming, or should I say he. "Greetings Joshua, what brings you here?" I say to youngest brother, Joshua, placing my own hand on his finally pulling my focus away from the story. " T.the d...doctor Smith is here...y'know for the 'thing' a.and he t.told me t.to um..to get you" he stuttered out. I gave him a warm smile, trying to reassure him that everything is fine. I could tell he was nervous, not knowing if I would lash out unexpectedly for I have done so before. I lift my hand from the buttons, fully exiting the world I have created. As I stood I grabbed ahold of my brother's hand, giving a tilt of my head to signal him to lean the way. He followed my command and begun to take me to Dr. Smith.

As Joshua took me away from my office, I recalled all his features. His carmel skin and the matching dark chocolate eyes, the faded freckles that danced across his cheeks and nose, our height difference that always bugged him. His slim physique that fooled people into think he was weak, but in actuality he was quite strong. The way he always bought clothes and shoes that looked too big for him. His goofy demeanor, that always made someone laugh no matter what the situation. And finally, I know this isn't a physical feature but it's important, the way me and him were so close before the incident. We would joke about the most silliest of things. He would always called me instead of our parents or oldest brother, when he was in trouble because he trusted me with everything and that feeling was mutual. But after the incident, he became scared of me. And I knew completely why, I don't blame him for being scared. Because I was scared to, scared of myself. Scared of what I might do if I wasn't stop before I went to far, who would I hurt if I lost control.

"Um were h.here" he said, placing my hand on the knob. "Thank you Joshua, please wait outside" I say lowly, already regretting having this meeting. "W.wait!" Joshua slightly shouted, grabbing my arm. I turned to him, giving a confused expression. "Don't lose your temper. I understand this might be difficult, well not personally obviously, but I've gone through something similar. Getting something taken away from you, I felt that and it was horrible!. I know it's horrible!, but that doesn't mean you can treat people horrible just because that's how your feeling. That isn't fair! So suck it up and deal with it, it will only get worst if you don't accept it" I was taking aback by his words, not 'cause I didn't think he would say them. But because he hadn't said something like that since the incident, no one had. I gave another warm filled smile "thank you Joshua, that's exactly what I needed to hear. I'll behave, I promise" I say to him, I could even he was taken aback by his words and my response. He loosens his grip around my arm, taking a spot on the floor, beginning to wait for me. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what's going to happen. Taking a step inside, I felt another presence in the room. It, obviously, being the doctor I took a sit in the closest chair to me, not meeting eyes with the other man in the room. The room stayed silent, neither of us making a move to start a conversation with each other. I felt uncomfortable being in a room with him. I always have. Especially after the incident. Even if he was our family doctor, I just got this uncomfortable feeling around him. He just didn't seem like a friendly person. But I always racked my uneasiness to being childish, it was irrational right? There's nothing outstandingly scary about him. Sure, he seemed like a cold person but nothing horrible. I only ever told Joshua about my uncomfortablness with Dr. Smith, like I said before we trusted each other with everything, he told me he got the same vibe from him as well. We both still called it silliness for being uncomfortable around some man with a medical degree, but even if we tried to put logic to it we still weren't all to explain or change it.

"Mr. Carlos?"

I broke away from my thoughts, moving my head towards the voice. "Yes Dr. Smith?" I say, trying my best to be calm. "I have a few questions for you, some about the incident and some about your current state. Please answer to your best ability" he told me, nodded telling him to begin. 'I just want to get this over with' I thought.

"How's your recovery been?"

"It's been fine, I still get headaches every now and then"

"What exactly was the incident? I haven't really been informed about it by anyone"

My breathing hitched, the incident is still a touchy subject to me and I silently wish he hadn't gone there so quickly. I exhale trying to untense myself " well,..." I started "take your time" he told me.

"I had been out with my friends, we had been drinking and I was the most sober of the group. So they made me the person to drive us home, I, even if I was the less drunk, wasn't in the right mind set so I had no reason to say no. I wish I had" I say quietly, fidgeting with the end of my shirt, I took a breath before continuing "my three friends in the back were already passed out, and my friend Sam, who sat in the passenger, was close to dozing off. When we were closing in on my friend's house that we were playing to stay at, the roads had started to have more cars driving through. By then I had started to drift off to, Sam had passed out already, I didn't have control of where I was going but I had sped up and I ended up hitting the car infront of me. My head got knocked against the back of the chair sit and the steering wheel, it nothing serious just small whiplash right? I had kept my head against the wheel not really wanting to move. But, as if I couldn't get anymore unlucky, I car had ramped up behind me and my head was hit against the chair and wheel again. Stepped out, my head hurting, and two other drivers had as well. The one I had hit looked like a middle aged woman, she looked exhausted and the one that hit me looked like a snobby business man. The two had began yelling at each other, but my head just couldn't take it so I walked to this park looking area near by. My alcohol filled brain had decided to climb one of the trees. So I did, I wish I hadn't. Once I had reached a pretty high branch, I leaned against the trunk. I started to feel dizzy and like I was going to pass out again. Next thing I knew I fell, heading my head against a few branches and I landed on the ground quite lucky considering how hard I hit my head. I don't remember much after that, maybe the ambulance noise and a bit of the ride to the hospital. I woke up in the hospital, what felt like, the next morning and my vision sort of blurry. The doctor told me I had a very bad head injury, and what I did was very stupid. That I should be lucky and I could be worst off... I'm just going to take a moment away from the story okay? I hope that's fine. Can you tell me what I should feel lucky about, huh? What would be worst off then this?...have nothing? Me either. Back to the story. Slow after that the tunnel just slowly caved in, until, I couldn't see anything at all. Because of my stupid drunk acts, I'm permanently blind. I can't see my siblings grow up, or see movies, or play video games. I can't do things how I used to, I have to learn everything a second time. And it sucks. But this is my reality now, I just have to live with it" I felt tears drip from my eyes as I finished my story, I had to accept it. I wouldn't move forward otherwise. "Right, sorry if this sounds insensitive but, let's move on to the next question shall we" he said uncomfortably. "Okay" I say simply.

"Has your vision got any better since the incident?"

"No it's hasn't changed since the first week I left the hospital, and in that case my vision got worst"

"Alright, thank you. I think that's all the questions for today, if I have more I'll schedule them sometime next week"

"Sounds good, goodbye Dr. Smith"

"Goodbye Michael"

I closed the door behind me, feeling my stress leave me as I exhale. But the tears had kept rolling down, much to my dismay. "Michael?" Joshua reach arm out to me hesitately "is everything okay?" He asked. I turned to him with a smile, tears still running across my cheeks, but this smile didn't hurt because it wasn't fake. It was real."I'm blind, Joshua, I'm blind and all this time I've been not accepting it. Thinking I will find a cure for it, but there's not. And I'm okay with that. Thank you for helping me see that, even if I can't actually see anymore". He embraced me, not being hesitate at all.

"Michael...wait, did you make a blind joke?"

I laughed "yeah, what about it?"

"Nothing it just feels great to have the old Micheal back"

"Me too Joshua, me too..."