chapter 8

After the incident I became very sad and everyday I walked into my classroom, I always hoped that Wilfred will be sitting on his desk while drawing on his note like he always does but it didn't happen.

Everyday I would look at his desk which was vacant and still had his books in them,hoping that he would return but reality proved me wrong every single time when I looked at the empty desk.Later his sister came to class to collect all his books which I regretted not going through before they were taken.

As time went by I slowly accepted that he had left for good and I would still dream about him(not necessarily a dirty dream) the dreams mainly consist of some time spent with him(like sitting in class talking and playing with our classmates).Till now I don't know why I dreamt and still dreaming about him even after his left.

You would think after this incident I would change,I thought so too but after a few days I got this sudden urge to be close with Cliton,it maybe because I wasn't able to get the attention from Wilfred so I choose the next close person to him which I thought at that time would give me the same satisfaction I felt whenever I talk to Wilfred or play with him necessarily his attention.

So I started a new plan which was to capture Cliton attention. Cliton wasn't that hard to get close too because of his cheerful character and we were a little close thanks to Wilfred.

So I finally got Cliton attention but I didn't get the satisfaction I thought I would get,don't get me wrong I did get a satisfaction from having his attention but not the type I get when with Wilfred.So I thought maybe I could spice it up a little bit by getting Cliton jealous that way I may get the same feeling when with Wilfred but Cliton didn't even seem to know I was trying to get him jealous because no matter what I did he always talked like he didn't mind me ignoring him a few times or not inviting him to some of my social activities with others.

Slowly I started getting annoyed by Cliton, he didn't do anything wrong I just didn't like that I wasn't getting the exact satisfaction I get when with Wilfred.

I slowly lost interest in Cliton but not completely I still wanted all his attention for myself but it wasn't enough I wanted more,I already had the school attention,every student knew me in the school and I was"friends" with literally everone but it satisfying enough I wanted a total different person possibly not even in my school.

I started searching in my brother and sister school because it was near by(it was on the same land with my school but different buildings)so i searched and searched and later gave up on the idea due to my sliblings and different schedules.so I set my eyes on my school once again but this time the seniors(I was a junior at that time)and I finally found a suitable candidate.