When all fails, heaven knows our heart

Er Ge left him with the gift there....Yi Ren felt devastated after hearing what he did as he sat there by the bar along East Coast Park. While the sound of distant waves brought memories how he and Ray would walk along the beach back at home as Ray love the beach very much.

He could not believe Ray made it through to what he said he would. "One day when I get there I'll design this for us to wear"

Yi Ren weep but he was sad and angry that Ray has not once said anything as years had passed it was just silence.

Ray was avoiding and cutting them off totally. Yi Ren stayed his course of building his own career as well putting everything behind but still playing his little tricks of trying to unconsciously let Ray know he'd move on assumingly happily with all the news of his dates and rendezvous flooding the gossip magazine hoping Ray would too notice and move on too but there was no signs of it except that he was busy taking care of Er Ge's son.

The sound of honking cars brought Yi Ren back to where is he, walking along the pedestrian. Bumping into Ray today just felt difficult...he took a stroll down to where they used to walk in the evening by the park.

"Someday Yi Ren, I will built my artist hide out with a little cafeteria a place for art lovers and musicians and writers to hang out and we can spend time creating music together there, I'll write a song for us, you'll see." Yi Ren recalled Ray's words, he walked passed blocks and blocks of buildings, he realised Ray had been working hard to make each of what he said come true. As he continue walking on, night had fallen in and he hadn't realise but his walk took him to the familiar place he once passed before.

This was the same place Er Ge told him to visit. It's closed now at this hour with the shutters down.

At that he saw the message through his phone that Ray has sent - A message that struck him from Ray after so many years of not hearing from him. Yi Ren knew his hunch was right when he saw those hurtful eyes back then - Ray.... had those motionless eyes when he saw him with the girl back then. Did Yi Ren overdo it? But after all these years... he never knew how Ray would have felt, Ray had been quiet, did he judge him wrongly that Ray gave him on all those feelings. The thoughts just went haywire for Yi Ren. Ray's message was glaringly not alright and it's a desperation mode for Yi Ren to want to get to him immediately. An urgency exists in that tone of the unexpected message from Ray.

He sunk down to his feet almost distraught at that reading the message. So he finally broke Ray for him to send that through after so many years.

And at being lost reading the message, a familiar piano tune came through the creak of the shutter of this place. He remembers now Er Ge sent him a picture of this place to check out when Ray had open it back then. The melody of the piano could be heard just lightly, faintish, almost ignorant from the distant in the shop but he could hear it. This tune....a long forgotten tune that Ray used to play.

Yi Ren's legs stop moving and he stare at the place from outside "Artist Hide Out" it reads.

At that point he wasn't a believer of coincidence nor was he a superstitious person that believe in supernatural fate but tonight it didn't matter to him he was trying to tie dreams and reality, he needed to find Ray. He called back to his number but it was routed to his voice mail.

And that the tune he heard earlier had now stopped. He tried to pry open the shutter door. It was unlocked. The glass door was locked, he tried to look inside, it was all dark but a dim light from deep inside is slightly visible. At that point he had to think quick how to get in - pricking door skills? pricking lock skills, breaking glass door? There were just massive ideas going through. He saw another side door by the side of the wall a wooden one "okay this one i can handle"

He took a card out from his wallet and slid it in between the creak and as soon as he heard a pop - the door open. "Ahh need them to tighten the security"

He walked in quietly half afraid if he is trespassing but as he walk through the hall, familiar photos on the wall confirmed his hunch. It was photos of Ray and his group of friends ... he continue walking. The place was huge and deep, with many chairs and tables. The bar counter and kitchen area, another space that reads "for serious reading and aspiring writers corner only" and then another hallway with many art pieces hung up... many of which he has seen staying with Ray back then.... and on the wall it reads "Paint your heart out" and as he walk there comes a another section with many guitars

hung up on the wall... and he finally came to a grand piano in the middle of the hallway ... someone must have been here. There were papers all over the floor, he picked them up and saw scribbles many of them "Stop hurting me anymore!" It was all expression and expression of words and he then recalled what Ray said about writing and painting as an outlet for him.

Reading that Yi Ren fasten his steps around the bend of this place that goes in circle, there were no signs of Ray until he finally stopped

Tugged away, a room at the far corner, all dark without lights where only a window appear with the moon light shining through, he finally heard what crushed his heart ... a voice that cried wailingly, the misery that linger on through the soft cry, tugged away in this little room that had a signage at the door "when you need a little prayer"

Yi Ren froze at the sight of what he saw, everything, every hatred and anger he had build came shattering down, he never knew this side of Ray existed in his cheerful, poised, confident and pristine magazine covers all these years. Ray portrayed a different facade all the time and it gave Yi Ren a different impression all the time. Hence, he kept asking why Ray had not felt anything at all. 

He walked slowly towards the room, he was tearing up now as he went nearer, the sob became clearer. A figure appeared by the floor crying looking towards the window... it was Ray.

He was filled with misery that probably consumed him tonight ... Ray smelled of alcohol as he held a glass that he was drinking in his hand as he cried. 

"Ray...."Yi Ren called out as he move in quickly towards him. Ray startled at the call as he was afraid to have Yi Ren here... he was traumatised on the entire emotion crashing incident tonight that came collapsing. He held out the his hand "Stop! Leave me alone! Stop hurting me!" He cried out as he shouted out those words that stunned Yi Ren and broke Yi Ren's heart.

Ray was miserable, he didn't want Yi Ren near him, he couldn't get himself pass this emotional collapsed and unconsciously as he held his hand out to signal to Yi Ren to stop coming over.

Ray's hand that held the glass pressed it so hard, out of frustration it broke in his hand with the broken glass cutting his palm.

Nevertheless, with the broken pieces of glass cutting his palm, Ray had no reaction at all to this physical pain while Yi Ren panicked. Ray's eyes fiery and filled with tears that was fully flowing down focused on Yi Ren. While he continue to stay fixated on Yi Ren pleading him to leave, "stop Yi Ren, please  enough, you win....I am hurt, my heart is painful tonight, let me go..." It was heart wrenching to see Ray this way, devastated that Ray had no feelings on his cut palm that was now dripping with blood to the floor and what Ray could only feel is the pain in his heart oblivious to anything else. So it's always a myth a broken heart is worst than a physical pain that when presented by both, the person couldn't be bothered with any physical pain that when numbed, overwhelmed by the deep cut through to the core of the heart.

Yi Ren ignored every word and every plea seeing the hand that held the broken glass squeezing in to the pieces of glass as it cuts deeper, he moved forward and removed the shattered glass from Ray's hand carefully.

Ray's eyes was just fixated  on Yi Ren as it drew tears asking Yi Ren quietly in those teary eyes 'why do you hurt me again and again ' and as he spoke out, it confirmed how shattered Ray had become "my heart is pain tonight ... I can't go on.. "he said in such broken voice. Ray was traumatised from this emotional breakdown and how hurt he had become is an accumulation that has spread over the years due to what Yi Ren has done to him and what Ray heard and saw today of Yi Ren's action that cuts him twice as deep with everything spiralling out.

Seeing Ray this way, Yi Ren was speechless, hurt and just wanted Ray to be alright "I... I'm sorry Ray, don't be like this, I am sorry....I am sorry..." Yi Ren was pushing his way through to Ray. He was feeling Ray's pain and misery from this scene.

He suddenly recall what Er Ge said, that he doesn't think Ray can handle anymore of this. He felt guilty for putting Ray through this but stunned and shocked how it had impacted Ray, his little tricks went over board. His heart felt pain and twisted looking at Ray. Yi Ren dropped everything in his mind at this juncture and hugged Ray tightly as he squat down to pick him up "I'm sorry Ray, I'm sorry, please don't be like this..."

That night the shooting stars tried again collaborating to bring the two souls back to see their hearts clearly against the twisted world that had intervene, against the resentment that had build through series of misunderstanding - just showing them and revealing to them the truth in front of themselves. Even the guardian angels prayed that tonight these two souls recognised and find each other back after all these years of denial and wasted time.

"don't hurt me anymore..." Ray was trying to get through this piercing pain in his heart as he continues to repeat that in Yi Ren's embrace quietly. Never had he begged not to be hurt because it is in his nature to weather all that was hurled at him staying composed and strong growing up with values not to show the weak side of him but to focus ahead but with Yi Ren it was more than what he could handle when the repeated jab at his heart which took it to the fullest tonight.

"I'm sorry ...." Yi Ren said again as he feels the pain himself looking at how Ray is now.

"Yi Ren, I have never left " Ray said in between and they were both tugged in a long lost embrace realising how this journey had circled them back to where they started from in the beginning.