Chapter 43 - A change in the days

Suffice to say, I had finally left behind all of my concerns. Life was being good to me and the world was embracing me, rather than pushing me away. I was finding my place in the world and the people around me were helping me build a home here. The days were full of happiness and I was content with where I was. I was confident in the belief that my life was finally secure. Every single person who I considered to be a threat was now someone close to me, or at least someone who I didn't perceive to be a danger. It wasn't necessarily an active effort I had to make. Well, it's more accurate to say that initially I had tried my best to build relationships with people who would benefit me in order to better my reputation, but with time that was no longer needed. I stayed true to who I was and found that I did genuinely feel affection for these people and we naturally get along well. With such stable support, I was no longer afraid of what I would do if I found myself spiralling once again. I knew that they would be there to lift me up when my knees were not quite as stable as I would have liked. It wasn't something I was used to, having so many happy days consecutively. But with the way that things were going and how my life was sorting itself out, I could find myself getting used to it. The jumbled mess that was my reality was untangling itself day by day, and I was slowly reaching the peak that I had been waiting for. The moment of euphoria that I had never understood outside of the textbook definition was finally coming towards me to experience.

The only person who I could not yet feel at ease with was Sophia. Despite the fact that I no longer had any prejudice towards her, there was still discomfort that I could not put a finger on. Of course, over time, her reputation had swayed here and there. That was quite natural for almost everyone. One person would call her an amazing person who was charitable and good natured, while another would call her a sly witch who was out to enchant any man she could lay her hands on. There was often no smoke without a fire so it was highly likely that each had their own truths to them. But none of that was the reason for my confusion with where I stood with her. The predominant reason of my wariness around who she truly is was her unnatural obsession with Adelphos. It was something I had noted previously though I would have expected her initial curiosity in him to die down by now. Instead, I found her hovering around him constantly without a clear reason. 

Granted Adelphos was old enough to be able to look after himself. If anything, he was far more mature than me and so would be tasked with helping me out with my own struggles. However, that didn't mean that I couldn't offer a third person perspective where needed. Was I perhaps biased in my view and more likely to be extremely critical of every action towards him? Yes. But I couldn't help it as it was in my blood. He was my brother before all else and I couldn't help but feel a duty to protect him, and ensure his safety and happiness. Over the years we had gone through every form of emotions towards one another and that had only served to bring us closer to one another and understand each other better. I knew more than anyone else just how kind hearted he was, regardless of how cold his exterior was. Because of this, I couldn't help but be concerned that he would end up being pulled into something much larger than he was. I say that I put aside my prejudice but in fact the fear remained. Sophia was someone who was extremely willful and did anything to get what she wanted, whether right or wrong. That was her character. Had she changed? Perhaps. But over the time I had spent watching her, it was hard to either prove or disprove it. I couldn't help but be careful as that was the safest option. I was riddled with guilt over the thought that I might be making her out to be someone she was not, but my guilt would not be a good enough reason to not do my all for Adelphos. He was my safe place and I needed to be there to protect his. 

It was a shame but his kind heartedness made him all the more susceptible to people using him. I knew from first hand experience how easy it was to act weak to gain a person's favour, how would others be unaware of it? I could see the way she would follow Adelphos around, using Helios as some sort of stepping stone to become closer to one another. It was evident to others too how she would often use the false pretence of being unaware of our Empire to spend time with him. As a princess it was obvious that Adelphos would need to dedicate time to her should she wish for it. He was no stranger to the fact that wars were oftentimes unreasonable. If the daughter who was so doted on was to go to her father and speak ill of this empire, it wasn't at all impossible to find soldiers making their way across the horizon to stamp all over us. That was simply the reality of the world and the hierarchy that we had so painstakingly created for the benefits of the very few. The point was that she was quite obviously using any excuse to cling to my brother like glue. It was natural for a girl of her age to find someone who she quite took a fancy to. It was also extremely common for people to look for any excuse to spend time with those they felt that way towards. But it was not common for this power dynamic to take form, nor for someone to come from the outside and begin behaving like this. Furthermore, the commonality of such occurrences did not make them right. If she was invading his personal space simply because it made her feel better, it would remain wrong regardless of how many others do the same. 

If it had only ended with admiration for Adelphos, though unlikely, I might have been able to pass it off and pretend to be unaware, as I had been doing for a couple of weeks. But of course that was only touching the surface. Sophia was, in simpler terms, a spoiled brat. She had grown up with love, receiving anything she had asked for. The mere idea that there was a man who she could not have, had her blood boiling. If Adelphos so much as looked at someone else in a way that she thought to be more than what she deemed acceptable, they would be on the tail end of unstoppable glares. Though she and I never properly interacted, I could see her always watching from my peripheral whenever Elina and I were with him. It was uncomfortable for me, even if her cruel gaze was directed at Elina. I can hardly imagine how Elina would have felt as the subject of scrutiny. On the one hand, I knew not to make assumptions, but on the other, I felt that she was dangerous. I couldn't say anything as I knew that there was no evidence to support my claims, but the look in her eyes when she stared at Elina would sometimes make my blood run cold. If eyes were the windows to the soul then it's no exaggeration to say that I was terrified of what lay within her. There was a bloodlust in her gaze that couldn't be hidden behind her eyelashes.

It might just be that my over-protectiveness over my brother and friends had been the deciding factor in my judgement, but I was certain that I did not like her one bit. I couldn't say she was a bad person per say, but she was not someone I would get along with. A person who does not know how to yield and someone who views themselves as all important and deserving of whatever they so wish, is quite different from those I would like to associate with. Of course that didn't mean that I would in any way restrict others from getting along with her. My sentiments were very much my own and I knew that not everyone had the same view or opinion as I did. But that made it all the more difficult for me. I would often see my brother speaking to her, clearly unaware of her impure intentions, or at least impure to my eyes, but I wasn't able to do anything. I was not someone who could call out to him and outright ask him to start avoiding her. He had his own life and I had mine. But what I could do was keep surveillance to make sure that her unhealthy behaviour would never progress to the point that it was harming him. At any sign of his discomfort, I would throw away any sense of safety and jump right into the lion's den and protect him. What else were siblings for?

In doing so, I was both at peace and on edge. Everything was going without a hitch but there was anxiety that I couldn't shake every time I remembered her existence. It felt as though she was out of place and would put everything into disarray. It's hardly far from the truth, given that she wasn't even supposed to have attended this academy until years later. I was enjoying my days in peace, getting along with everyone, but in the back of my mind I could hear sirens blaring. I was grateful for the fact that we had a week long break wherein I was able to stop fretting over her presence. During the first holiday, I had spent the entire time at home relaxing, but this time I was able to go out and enjoy myself. In becoming a more joyful person, I found excitement in things I normally would not have. Going out and interacting with others was usually an extremely tiresome task that I would force myself through, but I found myself making such plans. Throughout the week I thought of nothing except how to make the most of my time, away from any bad thoughts that may invade. I was busy with meeting up with people and hanging out, leaving the house in the early morning and coming back shortly before dinner. There was a peace in going with the flow that I had previously not known of. As I found myself extremely energetic, it was near impossible to stop me from doing every single activity possible. There were not enough hobbies in the world for me as I was breezing through one activity after another. In the matter of a few hours I would race through multiple of my hobbies. Time was never going to catch up to my mind bubbling with excitement. 

All good things do, however, come to an end. The week of the holiday had ran by me in a flash and I was soon getting dressed and back at the academy. Would that be enough to slow me down? Definitely not. Regardless of how many hours I had spent retaining countless pieces of information, I would always make time to go out and have fun before heading back to my dorm room. On the rare occasions, Theodore would accompany me and it was much nicer than either of us would have imagined. We weren't quite as close as I was with the others, and he wasn't quite in my friend group either, but I like to think we got along pretty well. Coming back to the academy meant that all of my fears that I had put to sleep, would awaken yet again. But I was going to push through, as I always had. 

Time remaining: 15 days