Chapter 10 - Theodore

I had spent the last week practising the dance nonstop to not embarrass myself, alongside getting a dress tailored and buying everything for my outfit. My mother had planned the party with a lot of thought and effort. I would occasionally go out with her to shop for gifts or to choose decor, but majority of it had been decided by her. I spent a long time contemplating what to gift them but realised that if I carried on this way, I wouldn't end up choosing anything. I wanted something studious to fit the celebration but also something heartfelt and yet nothing came to mind which fit both of the criteria. I decided it would be best to gather a variety of things to make it more heartfelt instead. I made matching gift boxes filled with beautiful pens to match their eye colours, hand embroidered handkerchiefs, jumpers to prevent them from getting cold and a brooch in their family colours. I wrapped each box up nicely with ribbons and wrote letters to go with each one, congratulating them and speaking of how I'll miss them. Once sealed and stamped, I inserted the envelope under the ribbons and safely stashed them away.

The dress I had painstakingly received permission to design was made to be far better than I had imagined. It was a taupe mauve colour which went all the way down to the floor and was embroidered from the waist down entirely in floral patterns, embellished with beads and rhinestones. The chest in contrast to the rest of the dress, was relatively simple with floral embroidery around the neck fading away into the plain material. The dress had a slit from the waist down and for that reason a pair of trouser made of mauve silk was part of the outfit. The trousers were slim and had been similarly decorated around the ankle while the rest was left plain. The dress had a round neck and flared bell sleeves. Generally I dislike round neck dresses but given how heavily decorated it was, it wouldn't be appropriate to then wear a necklace as well, so I opted for a round neck to fix that issue. I also worked with the jewellery designer to make something from my culture in my previous life providing illustrations of what they should look like and how the earrings should be attached to thin, decorated metal chains that then attach to the hair. Everything has been prepared meticulously since this party would be my first opportunity to change my terrible reputation. To put it into a single word, I did everything to try and look 'delicate'. 

Once I had finished getting ready, I head towards the front door to greet my family. 

"Sorry I'm late" I say as I walk quickly towards them. This is the best part about this dress I briefly thought, I'm able to move freely thanks to the open front I smile. As I look up I'm faced with an awkward silence that I can't quite understand. 

"You look pretty", Adelphos says before catching himself and turning his head away with a telltale blush painting his cheeks. I giggle slightly at his bashfulness before giving a wide toothy grin.

"Thanks brother, you look rather dashing yourself", I respond as I playfully hit the side of his right arm. With my parents looking at me oddly I decide to extend the compliment to them too. "You both look great too" I smile in a business manner. "We should start getting in the carriage if we don't want to be late..." I gesture towards the doors of the carriage.

"Ahem, yes let's start heading in. We don't want to be late to our own party." My father says as he begins to lead the way.

We all sit inside and the ride was only a short 20 minutes. There was light chatter but other than that, the journey was entirely silent. I sat with my arm perched on the edge of the window pane, staring out at the scenery. It was early afternoon but the sky suggested there would be roughly an hour until sunset. I thought about mundane things for the journey to relieve myself of burdens until I enter the battle ground. Why should I worry when I've now got some backing, even from the brother of the female lead and one of the male leads! I should just make sure to maintain a frail image. I opened the window slightly and closed my eyes, feeling the wind caressing me, as the smell of plants from the nearby garden waltzed in to invade the carriage. I stayed like that, silently with my eyes closed and mind empty until I was notified of our arrival. 

Adelphos gets off first and holds his hand out for me. I hold onto it and come down but for a second, the briefest of moments, my previous brothers face seemed to overlap with him. Perhaps because of the kind gesture that I'm not used to, or perhaps because I allowed myself to relax enough to reminisce. Regardless, that triggered an overwhelming feeling of homesickness resulting in me gripping his hand out of instinct. 

"Persephone?" He breaks me out of my daze. I loosen my grip and let go of his hand. But he looks still worried. "Are you okay? Are you feeling sick?"

I take in a deep breathe and raise my head to look into his eyes. I offer a well perfected smile, "I'm fine."

Though he looks questioning, he takes my answer at face value and nods before leading me to the hall. My family and I enter and instantly all eyes are on us. It's to be expected as we are co-hosts of the party. Helios is the first to welcome us. He strides towards us with a massive grin from the centre of the hall where he stood with his family. Elina and their father were soon to follow, walking behind him and approaching us. We begin to greet the emperor before the adults leave us to ourselves. 

"Adelphos! I'd been waiting for you. You look great, I didn't expect you to know how to clean up so well. Who are you trying to impress?" He jokes as he nudges my brother with his elbow. 

'Most likely your sister' I instinctively think and in that moment his gaze turns to me. For a second I was frozen in shock, wondering whether I had said that out loud rather than thinking it but my worries were quickly washed away. 

"You look nice too" he smiles in a manner that looks insincere for some reason. "You look different from usual. I've never seen that dress style before, where did you buy it?"

I wasn't quite sure how to respond because he seemed to be speaking in a manner that was bordering strained. As I stood puzzled by his tone, my brother answered in my stead. 

"She designed it herself and had it made by a seamstress she chose". Contrary to his face which showed little emotion, the manner of speaking seemed somewhat proud. 

Shock painted Helios' face, but before he could say anything Elina popped out from behind him. 

"You designed it yourself?!" Her voice was loud enough to make most people turn around to look at me which made me extremely uncomfortable. 

"Yes," I nod and smile at her before staring at the floor to distract myself from others.

I fiddle with my hands just to have something to do. In that moment my anxiety comes back. Are people looking at me, what are they thinking, do I look weird, am I standing in a strange way, what's the correct way to stand, is my dress too much, am I breathing too loud? As my mind was racing with these thoughts and I was slowly starting to find it hard to breathe, Helios stood directly in front of me and blocked off everyone else from my direct field of vision. I look up at him with grateful eyes and he gives me an innocent smile in response, as though he doesn't know what he did for me to be grateful. Like it was only natural. Maybe it's because I was sensitive or because it's been a while since I felt so protected and cared for, but I could feel my eyes burning from the tears I refused to shed. Elina saw this and held my hand. She didn't say anything, just held my hand. Like Helios said, she's awkward I think with a laugh. But her heart's in the right place. I pull her into a warm hug as I greet her. 

"Have you been well, princess? I heard you were sick for a while. I hope you're feeling better now." I stop embracing her but continue to hold her hands as I speak, to provide a sense of comfort and support. I knew what it felt like to be afraid, and I wanted to be provide a solid foundation where possible. 

"I'm better now." She rushes to reply. "Umm", she looks into my eyes for a split second before staring back at her feet. "Thank you for the presents. I was really happy." 

I bend down so that I'm at eye level with the Elina who is caving in on herself, and use my right index finger to lift her chin until she's looking at me head on. "You're welcome." I smile. "I'm glad you liked it. If you need anything from now on, make sure to let me know. I'll look after you as much as I can." I'm not sure what I looked like when I said that but she seemed to see something worth trusting as she started beaming a bright smile. 

"Thank you!" She gripped my hand with excitement.