86. Shell Shock

Shell Shock

[At school, the bell rings and Mrs. Johnson walks in carrying bags.]

Mrs. Johnson: Happy Monday, class! It's the moment you've been waiting for.

Rusty: [holds up his lunchbox] Lunch?

Mrs. Johnson: No, Rusty. [reveals cartons of eggs in her bags] The fifth grade Egg Baby Challenge!

[Everyone except Rusty cheers]

Rusty: [disappointed] Aw, man!

Mrs. Johnson: You'll work in pairs to look after an egg baby for a week. Now class, if your egg cracks or breaks, you fail. But if you can keep your egg safe for the whole week, you pass and get a special waffle breakfast! [pulls down a poster of her riding a mechanical bull, much to the confusion of her students and notices.] Whoops! Heh heh. Wrong picture. [shows the right picture]

Students: [with waffles in their eyes] Ooh!

Laney: [thoughts] Finally, a chance to show off my excellent parenting skills. I'll protect that egg baby as if it was a... baby.

[Lincoln and Clyde walk over to Mrs. Johnson's desk.]

Lincoln and Clyde: Clincoln McCloud reporting for parenting duty!

Lincoln: And waffles.

Mrs. Johnson: No no no. I'll be choosing the pairs. The whole point is to work with someone you don't know so you can learn about each other through caring for the egg.

[The boys look upset that they won't be paired up and Mrs. Johnson gets out a bingo ball mixer with her students' names written in.]

Mrs. Johnson: [spinning] So, Clyde, you'll be working with... [draws name] ...Penelope.

[Penelope smiles, takes the egg, and walks up to her partner.]

Clyde: Hey, Penelope.

Penelope: Hey, Clyde.

Clyde: [looking at his egg in admiration] I promise to be the best egg dad I can.

Mrs. Johnson: Laney, you'll be working with...

Laney: [With fingers crossed] Please be Joey. Please be Joey. Please be Joey...

Mrs. Johnson: [draws name] Joey.

Laney: YES! [Lincoln looks at her] I mean... wow. What a complete surprise. [Lincoln rolls his eyes]

Mrs. Johnson: [spinning] And Lincoln, you'll be working with... [draws name] ...Ronnie Anne.

Lincoln: [concerned] Oh, no. Not Ronnie Anne.

Laney: What's wrong with Ronnie Anne?

Lincoln: Wall, she's... Ronnie Anne.

Laney: And wht is that supposed to mean?

Lincoln: It means she's not exactly the careful, nurturing type.

[Flashback to some of the times Ronnie Anne is shown to be a little reckless. First, she puts a sloppy Joe down his pants, much to his disgust and her delight. Then, the boys are playing volleyball in gym class]

Clyde: I'll set you up!

[Ronnie Anne leaps off of Lincoln and spikes the ball at Rusty. Finally, she walks by listening to music and knocks Clyde and Lincoln aside without noticing them. End flashbacks. Lincoln shivers with concern.]

Laney: Lincoln, you can't always judge a book by it's cover. Sure, Ronnie Anne can be a bit rowdy but she's not like that all the time.

Ronnie Anne: [running up to her partner] You ready to do this, partner? [body slams him across the room]

Laney: Well, sometimes.

[Mrs. Johnson gets out their egg and Lincoln takes it before Ronnie Anne can.]

Lincoln: Why don't I just take that?

[Rusty is wearing a bib and has a plate and salt and pepper shakers on his desk.]

Rusty: [raising his hand] Mrs. Johnson, question! Do you recommend hard or soft boiling?

[Clyde and Penelope are looking after their egg.]

Clyde: So, what should we call her? Any family names you'd like to honor?

Penelope: I was thinking we could combine our names. Clyde and Penelope make...

Clyde: Calliope!

Penelope: [gasps] Perfect!

[Laney and Joey are looking after their egg]

Laney: He, Joey maybe we should combine our names for our baby.

Joey: Um, I don't think "Loey" will make a good name for our egg.

Laney: Okay. Well, what do you think about... "Janey".

Joey: Hmm. I think just "Jane" would do rather nicely. Wouldn't you say?

Laney: Yeah, I guess that could work. [Looks at her egg] Little Jane. [kisses her egg and tucks it in with a tiny blanket]

Joey: Wow, Laney. You seem to have quite a knack for this.

Laney: Well, I do have a baby sister at home. I have some experience.

Joey: Well that's lovely.

[Lincoln is keeping his egg safe from his partner who is trying to check on it.]

Ronnie Anne: Ro-shell? You want our egg baby's name to be a joke?

Lincoln: How is "Toby" any better? This egg doesn't look like a Toby.

Ronnie Anne: Well, if you'd let me see it, maybe I'd know what it does look like. [tries to get the egg]

Laney: [sighs] You'd think Lincoln would be more thrilled to work with Ronnie Anne instead of worrying she might break it.

Joey: How do you know she won't break it? I've seen that lass dominating the gym in dodgeball last week.

Laney: [sighs] It's just that I feel like Ronnie Anne isn't given a chance to prove that she's not always so destructive.

Joey: I don't know about that, Laney. That girl can be pretty unstable. One time I saw her tossing pizza into one kid's face and pulled his pants down. She can be quite mean.

Laney: Not you too, Joey! Look, some people think that Ronnie Anne is mean but she has feelings. Just like the time she was hurt when Lincoln insulted her.

Joey: How do you know that for sure?

Laney: [sighs] Joey, quit worrying.

Mrs. Johnson: Okay, everyone, time for gym.

Ronnie Anne: Ooh! I'll watch Toby.

[Lincoln suddenly imagines her doing all kinds of terrible things to the egg in gym, like tossing her like a shot put, playing golf with it as the ball, and pinning it down in wrestling.]

Lincoln: No way! I mean, I don't mind keeping an eye on her.

[Later, in the cafeteria]

Rusty: [with his meal; relieved] Lunch. Finally.

[Enter Ronnie Anne]

Ronnie Anne: Hey, partner. [her partner flinches] Maybe I should take care of Toby during lunch...since I haven't gotten to all day.

[Lincoln then imagines her putting the egg in the trash, stuffing it in Chandler's pants, and suggesting to use it in a...]

Ronnie Anne: FOOD FIGHT! [tosses it]

[Back to reality]

Lincoln: Sorry, but I, uh... [notices Lisa nearby] ...promised Aunt Lisa I'd bring her niece by for a visit. You know how relatives are. [rushes over to Lisa's table]

[Meanwhile, Laney and Joey were caring for their egg. Laney was putting the egg on a protected cup covered in fake grass]

Laney: There, this way our little egg will stay safe.

Joey: Are you sure this is necessary, Laney? I think it's safe enough as it is.

Laney: Uh, perhaps you didn't know how much trouble my baby sister gets into.

Joey: [smirks] Oh really? Like what?

Laney: Well, if you must know. Last week, Lily had the TV remote and she rode on the dog with it.

Joey: [laughs] You're joking!

Laney: I wish I was. But Lily almost fell from the roof if Dad wasn't there to break her fall. And possibly his collar bone. [Joey laughs]

Joey: Wow, Laney. I never knew your siblings are so troublesome.

Laney: Yeah. Someone's gotta look out for them.

[Later in art class]

Art Teacher: Smocks on, everyone!

Lincoln: See, Rochelle, your mom loves you. It's just safer if she loves you from a distance.

[Laney and Joey were seen painting with their egg protected in a papermache bowl]

Laney: You shouldn't be so judgemental to hide your egg from Ronnie Anne.

Lincoln: I have to. I'm trying to keep it safe.

Laney: Well, don't you think you should give her a chance to care fo the egg? It won't hurt.

Lincoln: Uh, yes it will! It will hurt the egg! [Laney sighs and rolls her eyes]

[Ronnie Anne comes into the room much to Lincoln's shock and he ducks into the closet.]

Laney: [thoughts] I suppose I have to cover for him again...

Ronnie Anne: Hey guys. Have you seen Lincoln?

Laney: No I haven't.

Ronnie Anne: Well if you see him, tell him I'm taking Toby home with me after school. No more excuses. [leaves]

[Later, after class. Laney was walking down the hallway with Joey]

Joey: I still pondering why you think Ronnie is not so brutish as she seems. I mean two weeks ago she gave me a wedgie for stepping on her foot by accident.

Laney: You're over exaggerating, Joey.

Joey: No, to this day I'm still digging the undies out of my bottom. [Sees Ronnie Anne with a kid] Ah! [Joey hides behind Laney] Don't let her wedgie me! [Laney looks closer and finds the Ronnie Anne is bandaging a little kid]

Ronnie Anne: There you go, kid. All, better.

Kid: Thanks, Ronnie Anne. [walks off]

Laney: Ronnie Anne? [Ronnie Anne was surprised to see Laney and Joey, who was still behind Laney]

Ronnie Anne: Oh, Laney it's you. [Sees Joey behind her] And you have Joey with you. [Joey nervously waves to her]

Laney: What were you doing to that kid?

Ronnie Anne: Uh, he fell down and scraped his knee. I was just helping him patch it up.

Joey: How do you know you weren't the one who caused that scraped knee?

Ronnie Anne: Uh, because I walking by when I saw him. Why do people think I'm so reckless and destructive? I'm just as responsible as everyone else.

Laney: You are?

Ronnie Anne: Yeah, I take care of my brother all the time.

Joey: You do?

Ronnie Anne: Yeah, he works so many jobs here I have to help him out. He and my mom are very busy. She has double shifts sometimes, so I have to help make dinner.

Laney: Wow, so you really are not as much as a bully as people think you are.

Ronnie Anne: Duh! Because that's not who I am! Just because I'm known put sandwiches down kids pants, and give them wedgies and noogies, doesn't mean I'm a bully!

Laney: Well, those do qualify you as a bully.

Ronnie Anne: Well yeah, but I only do that for fun, you know, teasing. It's not all who I am.

Joey: Wow, I never really thought of you like that Ronnie. Sorry, I thought you nothing more than a school bully.

Ronnie Anne: No problem. Sorry about the wedgie.

Joey: It's all right now I suppose...

Laney: See? I told you that she's not a full bully. Hey, maybe we should have an egg playdate later. If Lincoln lets you have your egg.

Ronnie Anne: Yeah, he just gave it to me back at the art class. [shows them her egg]

Laney: Really? He just let you have it?

Ronnie Anne: Yeah. So, I'll see you at my place?

Laney: Sure. [Ronnie Anne walks off]

Joey: Well, I guess we know that Ronnie's responsible. But how will she know that she won't break her egg, or ours?

Laney: Don't worry, Joey. I'll keep a close eye on both of them. What can go wrong?

Later that day, Laney and Joey walked over for Ronnie Anne for their little playdate. Only to find that someone was already on their way there...

[Laney sees Lincoln park his bike. He stops when he sees Laney]

Lincoln: Laney? What are you doing here?

Laney: We were just on my way to see Ronnie Anne for a playdate. What are you doing?

Lincoln: Uhhh... I forgot something?

Laney: From Ronnie Anne?

Lincoln: Yeah... I asked her to hold it for me. [Laney looked at Lincoln suspiciously]

Laney: Okay, then. [She and Lincoln walk up to Ronnie Anne's door and she knocks on it]

Ronnie Anne: [Answers the door] Oh, hey guys. [Notices Lincoln] And Lincoln?

Lincoln: [nervous] I, uh, missed Rochelle, so I thought I'd stop by and say hi.

Ronnie Anne: But you had her-I mean, him all day!

Lincoln: I know. We bonded. That's probably why I miss him-Ugh! I mean, her so much.

[Ronnie Anne sighs]

Laney: Oh, don't worry about him. Let's just have our playdate. Maybe you can show us around?

Ronnie Anne: Alright. [Lets Laney in and she walks inside; To Lincoln] You comin'?

Joey: Do you think Lincoln's up to something?

Laney: Probably. My brother's always up to something. But it's probably nothing to worry about.

[She shows him Rochelle/Toby in the kitchen, resting on a boxer of shredded paper, much to Lincoln's relief.]

Lincoln: Whew.

Ronnie Anne: Anyway, you can set down your egg here Laney. [To Lincoln] And you have 10 minutes with your egg. I have some stuff to do anyway.

[They both go off in different directions. Laney places her egg next to Rochelle/Toby and leaves]

Lincoln: [to Rochelle/Toby] I'm so glad you're okay. Don't worry. Daddy's here.

Laney: So, Ronnie Anne. What do you wanna do?

Ronnie Anne: Can it wait a moment, I gotta fold this laundry. [does so]

Joey: Oh my. That's a lot of laundry. You must have a big family, Ronnie.

Ronnie Anne: You think so, but no. This is all of Bobby's clothes. lifeguard, mall cop, pizza delivery guy...

Joey: Wow, you weren't kidding. That is a lot of jobs!

Laney: Hey, maybe I can help.

Ronnie Anne: Sorry, I don't think you can help with all of Bobby's- [Ronnie Anne and Joey are surprised to see Laney rapidly folding laundry] Woah! How do you do that so fast?

Laney: Do you know how many laundry I have to fold back home while Lori talks to her "Boo Boo Bear"? This isn't my first rodeo. [Folds the last uniform as origami and gives it to Ronnie Anne]

Ronnie Anne: Wow, I'm impressed.

Joey: Same here...

Bobby: [in pain and off-screen] AAH! AAH! EMERGENCY! SIS, YOU HOME?!

Ronnie Anne: Uh oh! [runs to Bobby]

Bobby: [still yelping and holding his finger.] WORKPLACE INJURY! WORKPLACE INJURY! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!

Ronnie Anne: [next to her brother] I'm here, I'm here. Let me take a look. [looks at his finger] Oh, it's just a little splinter. [tweezes it out] See? I got it. All better.

Bobby: [relieved] Aw, thanks, Nie Nie. [hugs her] I can always count on you.

[Ronnie Anne notices Lincoln and Laney watching and breaks the hug.]

Ronnie Anne: Okay, okay, okay. You'd better get ready for work. You're gonna be late. I did a load of your work shirts. [shows them nice and clean] There was some pretzel cheese on your mall cop one, but I got it out. [gives it to him]

Bobby: You're like some kind of wizard.

Ronnie Anne: Now, hurry, Bobby. You're gonna be late.

Mrs. Santiago: Ronalda! Roberto! I'm home! [enters the kitchen in her nurse outfit] Oh, hi, Lincoln, Laney. Nice to see you. Who's your friend.

Laney: Mrs. Santiago, this is Joey.

Joey: A pleasure to meet you, madam.

Ronnie Anne: Hey, Mom. Wash up. Dinner's in five.

Mrs. Santiago: [surprised] You made dinner?

Ronnie Anne: Yeah. I figured after two shifts, it'd be the last thing you wanted to do.

Mrs. Santiago: [laughs and pats her head] Oh, how did I get so lucky with you?

[Her mom laughs and walks off. Bobby comes running out in his lifeguard outfit with his balance board.]

Bobby: Off to save some lives! [leaves]

Joey: He does know its September, right?

[Ronnie Anne runs to Bobby with his pizza boy shirt]

Joey: Wow, she's really got her hands full.

Laney: At least she deals with only one sibling. You want hands full? Come to my place.

Lincoln: You know what, Rochelle? I think I had your mom all wrong. [takes the fake egg back and puts Rochelle back.] Why don't you stay here tonight?

Laney: Hey, Lincoln. Aren't you gonna stay for the playdate?

Lincoln: Uh, no. I really got to get going. See you at home!

[While he was leaving he bumped into Ronnie Anne, causing the fake egg to bounce.]

Laney: Lincoln! Your egg is... bouncing?

Ronnie Anne: Uh...why is he bouncing?

Lincoln: [nervous] Uh...because he's a bouncing baby boy?

Joey: Or maybe because that's not the real Toby? [Laney and Ronnie Anne sees the real egg]

Laney: A fake egg!? Lincoln, what's goin on?

Lincoln: Uh, well I can explain. You see, I gave Ronnie Anne a fake egg...

Ronnie Anne: Why would you do that?

Lincoln: Because you're, well, Ronnie Anne.

Ronnie Anne: What's that supposed to mean?

Lincoln: Well, I thought you couldn't be trusted with the real one because you're not exactly the most careful and nurturing type, but-

Ronnie Anne: [furiously interrupts] So, that's what you think of me? That I'm such a monster that I can't be left alone with an egg!?

Lincoln: [backing up nervously] No no no. When I saw you with your family, I realized I had you all wrong, and- [hits the table] Oof!

[The crash causes Rochelle/Toby and Jane to fly up into the air.]

Laney and Joey: JANE!

[Laney runs to her egg in slow motion and manages to catch it but Rochelle/Toby falls down and breaks. Laney gasps and angrily glares at Lincoln]

Ronnie Anne: I guess none of that matters anymore. Thanks a lot, Lincoln. Now we're gonna fail.

Laney: [Dissappointed] Lincoln, I knew you had doubts about Ronnie Anne being responsible. But I never knew you would stoop so low as to trick her! What? You think she's dumb to!? And you almost broke Jane! Agh! I can't even talk to you right now!

Lincoln: [apologetically stammering] I...I...

Ronnie Anne: [livid] Just get out of my house!

[Lincoln complies]

Laney: [Sighs frustratingly] Ronnie Anne, I'm really sorry, but I don't think we can have our playdate anymore... I'll just go. [Leaves, Joey follows her]

[Down the street, a downtrodden Lincoln passes by Clyde, Penelope, and Calliope.]

Clyde: Hey, Lincoln. Penelope and I wanted to arrange a play date for our eggs.

Penelope: It's important to socialize at an early age.

Laney: Sorry guys, there won't be any playdates because Daddy here broke his little Rochelle.

[Penelope and Clyde gasp and Clyde consoles Calliope from hearing that.]

Penelope: Laney, please!

Clyde: I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sure it wasn't easy working with Ronnie Anne.

Lincoln: Actually, I think it wasn't easy for her to work with me.

Laney: Just as I suspected, Ronnie Anne wasn't as reckless as you guys thought. She takes care of her brother, she does the laundry, and she patches up kids injuries.

Clyde: Wow, I never knew that about her.

Lincoln: I wish I did... [gets an idea] That gives me an idea! Gotta run! [cycles off; Laney sighs]

Penelope: Would you guys like to have a playdate with us?

Laney: No thanks. I got to get going. [Leaves]

Joey: Don't worry, Laney. At least our egg is safe. Now we can get to that scrumptious waffle breakfast tomorrow.

Laney: Yeah, I guess that's a bright side. But I still feel bad about Ronnie Anne.

Joey: I know how you feel. All this time I've been in Royal Woods, I didn't get to know Ronnie enough when she wedgied me. But now after seeing what she's like at home I know exactly how she felt when Lincoln lied to her like that. When he thougt she was destructive, and rude. But she's not like that at all. I think I know just how to cheer Ronnie up. It's too late for the egg but I think I have something better...[Laney smiles]

[The next day, Lincoln sneaks a basket onto the Santiago's doorstep, rings the bell, and hides in a bush. Ronnie Anne answers and spots the basket with a note attached.]

Ronnie Anne: [reading the note] Please take care of me. Signed, Toby Rochelle II. [spots Lincoln] I know you're there, weirdo.

Lincoln: [pops out] Oh, uh...hi.

Ronnie Anne: What's with the egg? We're done. We failed.

Lincoln: Well, after I left your house yesterday, I went to talk to Mrs. Johnson.

[Flashback to him talking to his teacher.]

Lincoln: So, it was my fault the egg broke. I thought I knew who Ronnie Anne was, but it turns out I didn't know anything about her. She's really responsible and caring, and she deserves a second chance.

[Lincoln droops his head in sorrow and Mrs. Johnson thinks about it for a second.]

Mrs. Johnson: All right, Lincoln, I'll give her another shot.

Lincoln: [relieved] That's awesome! Thanks, Mrs. Johnson.

Mrs. Johnson: And you, too.

Lincoln: [surprised] Really?

Mrs. Johnson: I think you just figured out what this assignment is all about.

[Lincoln smiles. End flashback]

Lincoln: She didn't let me off the hook completely. I don't get the waffle breakfast, but that's okay, because all I care about now is putting our family back together.

Ronnie Anne: [touched] Thanks, Lincoln. I appreciate it. [nudges him]

Lincoln: Ow!

Ronnie Anne: But don't get too mushy on me.

Laney: That's very sweet of you, Lincoln. [Lincoln sees Laney and Joey with a basket]

Lincoln: Laney? What are you doing here?

Laney: Well, we feel bad that you get to miss out on the waffle breakfast. So we decided to bring the breakfast to you.

Joey: Actually the whole thing was my idea. It's my way of saying "I think you're you're a good friend, and I hope we can start over"

Ronnie Anne: Wow, thanks you guys. [Basket appears to have less waffles] Uh, I thought they were more waffles in here.

Joey: [blushes] Oh sorry, I got hungry on the way over here.

Ronnie Anne: Don't worry. I can make you waffles. Bobby and I were just about to have our breakfast.

[Lincoln gets waffles in his eyes in excitement and they go into the kitchen where Bobby is texting.]

Bobby: [noticing Lincoln] Hey, little Loud.

Ronnie Anne: I'm glad you brought this... [holds the egg up to the batter; maliciously] ...'cause I needed an extra egg.

Lincoln: [horrified] RONNIE ANNE! NO!

[Unfortunately, Ronnie Anne smashes the egg and drops the yolk into the batter. But she then reveals the real Toby Rochelle II in her pocket.]

Ronnie Anne: Gotcha! You're not the only one who can pull an egg swap, partner.

[She and Bobby laugh, and Lincoln uncomfortably joins in still in shock from that prank and calms down.]

Lincoln: Whew.