60. Spell it Out

Spell It Out

[Lucy and Fangs come walking home at night, and enter the house with lightning flashing for their entrance.]

Lucy: [content] I so enjoy our nightly strolls, Fangs.

[Fangs squeaks in agreement.]

Laney: Oh, hey Lucy.

Lucy: Hello Laney, anything happen while we were away?

Laney: Well, you could say that. Pro tip: Don't go in the bathroom.

Lucy: Why would I do that?

Leni: [off-screen] Guys, this looks so good!

Lori: [also off-screen] We should literally be interior designers!

[Lucy goes upstairs to see what they're talking about and finds her siblings painting the bathroom pink; Fangs flies away.]

Lucy: Hey, guys. [her siblings gasp in surprise at her appearance.] Why are you painting the bathroom my least favorite color?

Lynn: Uh, duh! We all voted on it at the sibling meeting, remember?

[Flashback to the meeting; all the siblings but Lucy are gathered.]

Lori: So, based on the leftover paint in the garage, are options are pink... [giggles] ...or black. All in favor of pink?

Lincoln, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lana, Lola, and Lisa: [raise their hands] AYE!

Lori: All oppose?

Laney: Uh, nay! [Laney raises her hand]

Lori: It's unanimous! [squeals] Pink it is! [End flashback]

Lucy: Sigh. Well, I wasn't there. But of course, as usual, no one noticed.

Lola: Oh, come on! Exaggerate much?

[While Leni is painting, she accidentally hits Lucy, stroking her with pink paint.]

Leni: Whoops. Sorry, I didn't notice you. [Pokes Lucy's nose. Laney wipes off the pink paint off Lucy]

Lucy: Laney, you knew I wouldn't agree to this. Why didn't you stop them?

Laney: Believe me, Lucy. I tried. But it was ten against one. Besides, they didn't notice me either.

Lucy: What makes you think that? [Leni acciedentally strokes Laney with pink paint]

Leni: [Off-screen] Oh, sorry Laney. Didn't notice you either. [sighs]

[Lucy, Fangs, and the pets are performing a séance in the den.]

Lucy: Oh, spirits, I summon thee-

[Lori suddenly shrieks.]

Lori: [on her phone] What?! No, she did NOT!

[Lucy and the animals disregard it and resume their séance.]

Lucy: Oh, spirits, I summon thee-

[Lincoln comes screaming in with his laptop while wearing viking attire.]

Lincoln: [to his online friends] Okay, first we send in recon falcons to assess the enemy's firepower!

Lucy: Grr... [regains her composure] Oh, spirits-

[Enter Lynn practicing as crew coxswain with the twins rowing and Lily riding in a sailor outfit.]

Lynn: [on a megaphone] Easy on starboard! And stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

Lucy: Ugh! [goes into the living room to talk to her siblings who are doing their things at once.] Guys, could you keep it down? I'm trying to contact- [gets hit by Lily's oar and is sent flying back into the den.] Oof! [Laney runs up to her]

Laney: Are you okay, Lucy?

Lucy: [off-screen] What do you think?

Laney: [to her sisters] Hey, what's the big idea? You can't just- [gets hit by Lily's oar] OOF! [flies into the den]

[The dinner table]

Lynn Sr. Last slice of pie. [holds it up] Who wants it?

[Lucy raises her hand, but Lola comes rolling down the table.]

Lola: AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI! [grabs the slice]

Lucy: Um...I raised my hand.

Lola: [talking with her mouth full] I can't believe no one else wanted this!

Lucy: Sigh. [Laney gives her slice of pie to Lucy]

Laney: Here. I'm not hungry. You can have mine if you want.

Lucy: Thanks La- [Lola snatches the slice]

Lola: [off-screen] Ooh! Seconds! [Laney sighs]

[The sofa area. Lisa is working on her chemicals and the others are coming in to watch TV.]

Lynn: Excuse me.

Lucy: I call left armrest.

[Lana pounces on Lucy and takes the armrest. Lucy brushes herself off, places her book of poems on the coffee table and turns the TV on to her favorite show.]

Announcer: Next on Vampires of Melancholia...

Edwin: Griselda, I know you're only seeing that werewolf to make me jealous.

[The others look bored at it and Lynn makes a buzzer sound on her megaphone. Lana snatches the remote out of Lucy's hand and changes the channel.]

Announcer: Next on The Audition...

Lucy: Hey! I had the remote first!

Luna: Sorry, dude. We also voted on tonight's TV show at the sibling meeting.

Lucy: Laney, at least tell me you had my back.

Laney: Sorry, I kinda like this show.

Lucy: Grr. Will someone please hand me my poetry journal? I have some very strong feelings to express.

[Lisa accidentally spills her chemical onto Lucy's journal and it disintegrates.]

Lisa: Oops. Clumsy me.

[Lucy runs off with a frustrated scream.]

Lisa: Did anyone hear something?

[Laney feels bad for Lucy and follows her]

Laney couldn't help but feel bad for Lucy, as she went upstairs to the attic where Lucy was.

Laney: [offscreen] Lucy? Are you up here?

Lucy: What do you want? [Laney walks in] Oh. It's only you, Laney.

Laney: Sorry about what happened to you today. I'm sure the others didn't mean to do it.

Lucy: But they did, Laney. No matter what I do, my siblings walk all over me. At least when things get bad, I can go to my secret dark place. [notices something wrong with her dark place.] Which they've filled with their junk. Typical. Sigh.

Laney: I'll help you with that. [Laney and Lucy push all the junk away] Look, Lucy. Just because they don't listen to you doesn't mean they don't love you.

Lucy: It's more than that, Laney. They barely notice me. I just wish I can get back at them somehow. [They come across an old chest and notices a tag on it] Oh, look. This trunk belonged to Great Grandma Harriet. She was a pretty cool lady. [holds up a photo of Harriet, who looks identical to Lucy but in period-accurate clothes.] See?

Laney: Well… She does bare a resemblance.

Lucy: You'd think I got these looks from mom? [takes out a crystal ball and skulls and notices a secret compartment.] Ooh. What's this? [opens it and finds a book, picks it up and blows the dust off.]

Laney: "Ancient Book of Spells."?

Lucy: Whoa. [looks at the book's array of spells.] Hmm. If I can't get through to my siblings, maybe a little magic will. [starts reading]

Laney: Something tells me I'm not going to like where this is going…

Cut to the living room where Lori was talking on her phone. Lucy and Laney were watching from the den.

Lori: [on her phone] It's like, Carol gets eyelash extensions and suddenly she's too good for us? [pause] I know! [pause] I KNOW!

[Laney and Lucy were watching from the den]

Lucy: So, you like disrupting my séances with your inane phone calls?

Laney: Do you think that spellbook actually works, Lucy?

Lucy: Only one way to find out… [reads an incantation] "Eye of newt and toe of frog, Cease this endless dialogue!"

[Lori's phone suddenly hangs up.]

Lori: Whitney? Whitney? Hello? What? No! This can't be happening!

[She goes upstairs and Lucy smiles at the outcome while Laney was bewildered on what just happened]

Laney: I can't believe it! Those spells really worked! I never thought it would, but it did!

Lucy: Oh. You haven't seen anything yet…

[Lana is watching TV on Lucy's spot.]

Lucy: [from the staircase] So, you like putting my muddy butt on my favorite seat?

Laney: Lucy, are you sure this is a good idea? [Lucy reads another spell]

Lucy: "Lizard's leg and howlet's wing, Bring vengeance with an itchy sting!"

[Lana suddenly jumps off the armrest and starts scratching her butt vigorously, Lucy smiles proudly.]

As Lucy stood proudly on her revenge on her sisters, Laney begins to worry. Even if magic was real, it shouldn't be used to get back at someone. Later, Laney was sitting by the staircase watching Leni and Lily watching tv in the living room. Then she met up with her goth sister again.

[Lucy walked downstairs]

Lucy: Laney, you should've seen it. I've used a spell on Lisa and made her all sticky. She's a total mess.

Laney: Uh, Lucy. Are you sure we should be using those spells to get back at our siblings just because they didn't notice you? I mean, this is the kind of stuff that has unexpected consequences.

Lucy: Don't be like that, Laney. Besides you know very well they abused you too.

Laney: What are you talking about?

Lucy: I'm talking about all the times they walk all over you.

Laney: No. They would never do that to me.

Lucy: Oh, yeah? What about the time Leni rooted through your chest? [Flashback to Laney going into her room and shocked to find Leni using paint on her ballerina costume]

Leni: OM Gosh! This tutu totes looks prettier in red! [paints Laney's tutu red, Laney snatches the tutu from Leni]

Laney: What do you think your doing?! You've ruined my tutu!

Leni: More like made it better! It is so you're color, Lorraine. [pinches Laney's cheek. Laney growls furiously. Cut back to present day as Laney's face burns red with anger at the very memory]

Laney: [furious] She called me Lorraine! [Lucy smiles and lends the book to Laney] Give me that! [Snatches the spellbook from Lucy and goes gets up from the staircase and begins to perform a spell] I'll teach you to go through other people's stuff! [read an incantation] "Bird of fowl and feathers pluck, become a chicken, Cluck Cluck Cluck!" [Leni gets up from the couch and starts acting like a chicken]

Leni: Bawk. Ba-Ba-ba-Bagawk! [Lily laughs]

Laney couldn't help but smile at this. Using spells to get back at someone actually felt good.

Laney: [laughs] That was incredible! These spells are great! With this I can finally get the respect I deserve!

Lucy: Welcome to the dark side.

[Laney spent most of her day using spells to get back at other siblings. She used one on Lola and a patch of hair falls from her head and she screams. Laney giggled. Next she used a spell on Lincoln and he froze like a statue. Laney laughed even more wickedly. Lastly, she casted a spell on Luna and as she played her guitar, it stops making sound. She strummed her guitar and no music was played, she was distraught. Laney continues to evilly cackle. Later, she walking downstairs to see Lucy with Edwin]

Laney: Lucy! You should see what I did to Luna! I made lose her jams and probably her mind!

Lucy: Can't talk. [As Lucy walks up to the attic, Laney notices the bald spots on the back of Lucy's head]

Laney: Huh? Did the hair spell effect you too? [Minutes Later, Laney meets Lucy in the attic] Why the long face? You should be happy! Thanks to those spells, things are finally going our way!

Lucy: [takes the book from Laney] Things are going YOUR way. But even if I use the spells, nothing changes around here for me.

Laney: What's wrong?

Lucy: They backfired on me. Lori's talking to her friends in person instead of crying over her phone, and Lana used Edwin as butt-scratcher. [points to the bust] Those lips touched her butt! [Groans] It's so frustrating. [tosses the book which bounces off a trampoline and hits her in the face, revealing another spell.] Gasp! Laney! Look at this! [shows Laney the spell]

Laney: Ohhh! This spell is too perfect!

Lucy: I know! It has to work! [to the photo] Thanks for giving us a sign. [rubs her head] Though next time, a simple flickering light will do.

[She and Laney begin working on some kind of powder and is humming some kind of chant for it as several candles are arranged in a circle around her. Lincoln pops up.]

Lincoln: Hey, Luce! Hey, Lanes!

[Lucy quickly flips the circle for her powder below the floor and swaps it out with Lola's tea party set.]

Laney: Oh! Hello, Lincoln! We were just having a little tea party.

Lincoln: Uh, okay. Well anyway. Come on. Time to visit Pop-Pop.

Luan: [pops up from under Lincoln who's now on her head.] We voted on where to sit in Vanzilla, and you got the soggy seat!

Lincoln: Sorry, Laney. But the only spot we have left for you is springy seat.

Laney: [angry] SPRINGY SEAT?! WHY YOU- [Lucy stops her]

Lucy: You guys go without us. We're in the middle of something important.

[Lincoln and Luan leave and Lucy flips the spot back to her powder and turns to the book.]

Laney: [steaming] Springy seat indeed...

Lucy: Don't worry, Laney. Once this is over, we'll see who gets the springy seat from now on...

[That night, the two start sprinkling the powder on all of her siblings' pillows.]

Lucy and Laney: "Round about the bedrooms go, on their pillows, spell dust throw. By sunrise, they will have no choice, but to listen to my voice."

Laney: [in her pajamas] Do you really think that spell would work?

Lucy: [in her pajamas] Guaranteed.

Laney: [climbs into her bed] Well, goodnight Lucy.

Lucy: Goodnight, Laney. [To the picture of Great Grandma Harriet] Goodnight, Great-Grandma Harriet. Yawn. [opens up her coffin only to find Lynn's sports equipment stored in it.] Ugh! Lynn! [dumps the equipment out] This spell cannot work fast enough.

[The next morning, Lucy and Laney go to the newly pink bathroom to see her siblings brushing their teeth.]

Laney: [whispers] Let's surprise them. [Lucy nods]

Laney and Lucy: Hey, guys.

[The siblings are startled by there appearance as usual, but when they scream, no sound comes out, much to there content.]

Laney: It worked! [high fives Lucy]

Lucy: Yes! Now everything is gonna change around here.

[Lucy is now holding a sibling meeting.]

LUCY'S SIBLING MEETING: REPAINT THE BATHROOM

Lucy: Next item of business: repainting the bathroom. All in favor of black, say "aye".

Laney: Aye!

Lucy: All opposed, say "nay".

[Her siblings try to say something, but can't without their voices.]

Lucy: It's unanimous. Black it is! [pulls up the tarp revealing black paint cans.]

[The others look on at her, upset. Later at dinner, Lucy and Laney are eating the leftovers while her siblings glare at them]

Laney: How's that leftover turkey leg?

Lucy: Num, num, num. Delicious. I can't believe no one else wanted this.

[Now they're watching Vampires of Melancholia.]

Edwin: Griselda, you're back. I see you've come to your senses.

Griselda: No, I just found out I'm allergic to wolf hair.

[Edwin looks unimpressed at that revelation while Lucy's siblings look unimpressed at her for this decision. Lucy sees Laney smiling as she watched this]

Lucy: Wait, I thought you said you didn't like this show.

Laney: I don't. But I'm having a good time taking advantage of this.

Lucy: Cool.

[Back in the attic]

Laney: Man. Today has been the best day ever.

Lucy: Yep. And we have Great Grandma Harriet to thank for it.

Rita: [off-screen] Lynn, what's wrong?

[Lynn is beating on her punching bag which Rita is holding.]

Rita: Oh, now, come on, kiddo. [Lynn delivers a mighty blow to the bag.] Whoa! Your crew meet can't have gone that badly.

[Lynn takes out her phone to show her mom a recording of her crew meet where she couldn't tell her teammates to stroke while the opposing team passes them.]

Rival Coxswain: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

[Lynn's team's canoe goes in a circle and they lose the race. They get angry at Lynn, toss her off the canoe and into the lake.]

Rita: [furious] They literally kicked you off the team? That is not fair! [tosses Lynn her phone and starts punching the bag to let out all that tension her daughter did.]

[Lucy and Laney have witnessed that and hears their dad off-screen.]

Lynn Sr.: Lincoln, you got one of your friends killed?

[Lincoln shows his dad what happened in Swords & Cyborgs.]

Clyde: Commander Loud, what's our move?

[Lincoln couldn't say the command and tries to gesture incoherently.]

Clyde: You want us to...frost a birthday cake?

[Lincoln and Rusty are not amused.]

Rusty: I think he wants us to attack. I'm just gonna attack. [as Lincoln tries to protest, Rusty has his character lift his sword and charge into the enemy fortress.] RUSTY SPOKES!

Clyde: RUSTY! NOOO!

[Rusty's character gets attacked by cyborgs.]

Rusty: Uh-oh.

Clyde: It's an ambush! Oh, the horror!

[Lucy and Laney look on with worry and hears their mom talking to Lori.]

Rita: Lori, honey, I'm sure it's not the end of the world.

[through mascara-smudged tears, Lori shows her mom the message.]

Voicemail: What's with the silent treatment, Lori? Do you think you're better than us? Ugh! Whatever. Friendship...over.

Rita: [trying to console her] No worries. You can always hang out with your old mom. You can join my book club.

[Lori just wants to cry and covers her face with her pillow. Lucy and Laney look on with despair over what they have done.]

[Back at the attic]

Laney: What have we done, Lucy? I knew these spells would have consequences and I casted them anyway!

Lucy: I didn't mean to ruin everyone's life. I just hope there's a way to undo the spell. [finds a shocking small printing] Gasp! Laney look! To put a spell back on the shelf, transfer the effects onto yourself. [Laney and Lucy look at each other]

[Lori and Leni's room for another sibling meeting, all Loud kids are assembled.]

Lucy: Okay, don't worry, guys. [Her siblings glare at her and Laney] We didn't call this meeting to force anymore resolutions on you. We just want to make a confession.

Laney: You see, Lucy and I were fed up of all the times you walked all over us.

Lucy: So we casted a spell to make you take away your voices.

[The others look confused.]

Laney: I know you're mad at us for it, but there is a way to fix this. The aincent book of spells say we can transfer the effects onto ourselves.

Lucy: Yes, We'll never speak again, but I guess we deserve it for-

[Before she can finish, the others all silently show laughter.]

Lucy: [confused] Why are you laughing?

Laney: Or at least i think it's laughter. Hard to tell because you don't have any voices. [Lincoln pokes to his throat and moves his hands up and down.]

Lucy: You...want us to frost a birthday cake?

[Lincoln looks unimpressed. Lori takes out a pad and a pen and writes something down and hands it to Lucy and Laney.]

Lucy: [reading the message] We didn't take away your voices?

[The others shake their heads.]

Laney: Then why are you so silent?

[Luan hands her sisters her phone, showing a recording of Albert in a shuffleboard game with other people. Once their Pop-Pop wins, the siblings cheer loudly.]

Lincoln, Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lana, Lola, and Lisa: [lifting him up and chanting him] POP-POP! POP-POP! POP-POP!

[The video ends]

Lucy: You lost your voices at Pop-Pop's shuffleboard match?

[They nod]

Lucy: But what about our other spells? Lori, I killed your phone.

[Lori points to her phone charging.]

Lucy: Oh. So the battery just died. But Lana, what about my spell to make your butt itch?

[Lana shows her some poison ivy outside by a tree and makes a circular motion with her finger.]

Lucy: You rolled around in poison ivy again?

[Lana starts dragging her butt across the carpet still suffering from the itch. Charles pops out from under Lori's bed and joins Lana in butt dragging.]

Laney: Okay... But what about you, Lincoln. I casted a spell and turned you to a statue.

[Lincoln shakes his head. And he and Lynn chased around the room, Lynn touches him and Lincoln freezes up like a statue]

Laney: Oh, you were playing freeze tag? [Lynn and Lincoln nod] But what about Lola? I made her lose her hair. [Lola shakes her head and holds out a green bottle] You used hair gel? [Lola points to Lisa] Oh, Lisa's experimental hair gel. [Lola nods and uses Lisa's hair gel and more hair falls out. Lola is silently shocked] Wait! Luna! I made a spell to remove music from your guitar.

[Luna shakes her head and pushes in the amp from her room and tries to play her guitar, but no sound was coming out. She banged on the amp]

Laney: There's something wrong with your amp? [Luna gave her a thumbs up] But, Leni. I made you cluck like a chicken! [Leni shows Laney a cartoon about a chicken on her phone. Then acts like one to entertain Lily]

Lily: [laughs and claps her hands]

Laney: Oh, you were only acting like a chicken for Lily? [Leni nods]

Lucy: Wait. What about you, Lisa? Didn't my spell make your fingers sticky?

[Lisa shakes her head and brings in her board showing a complex equation.]

Lucy: I...don't understand any of that.

[Lisa holds out a tape recorder and plays a recording.]

Recording: Day 1,482 in the lab: accidentally spilled new formula, but turns out to be excellent adhesive. Apply for patent immediately.

[The recording ends]

Lucy: Okay. Well, We're still sorry for casting those spells, even if they didn't work.

Laney: We were just so tired of you all treating us like we don't exist. And when i found out about the spellbook I... got a little crazy.

Lucy: I guess we should've have made more of an effort to tell you guys how we felt.

[Lincoln then writes something on the other side of Lisa's blackboard and flips it over to show it.]

Lucy: [reads] "We're sorry, too." [Luan adds something]

Laney: [reads] "We'll try not to walk all over you anymore."

[Leni goes up to the board and draws a Tic-Tac-Toe grid with an X in the lower left square.]

Lucy: Uh...okay. Thanks, Leni.

[Luna notices the time on the alarm clock and signals Lucy by pretending to have fangs.]

Lucy: What? Oh! My show's on?

[The others signal her to come along.]

Lucy: You guys want to watch it, too?

[They give her a thumbs-up and head downstairs and Lucy and Laney smile.]

Lucy: That's awesome. We'll be right down. I just have to take care of one thing.

[Back in the attic, Lucy and Laney are putting all the things they found in the trunk away.]

Laney: Well, I certainly learned my lesson. Next time I'll just talk to my siblings before doing anything rash like casting spells on them. Even though they never worked, but still. It sure was great to believe there was actually such thing as real magic.

Lucy: For all it's worth, you would've made a great witch.

Laney: Thanks, but I wouldn't use the term "Witch". So, you coming?

Lucy: Yeah, just a minute. I'll catch up. [Laney walks downstairs. Lucy then talks to the photo of Great Grandma Harriet] Well, Great-Grandma Harriet, I guess this book of spells didn't work after all. [holds up a photo of her and her siblings.] But that's okay. because I got a pretty magical result all the same.

[She puts the photo of her and her siblings next to Harriet's and leaves. Just then, a lightning flash occurs, and the photo of Harriet mysteriously changes her expression from a frown to a smile.]