48. Party Down

Party Down

[The Loud House basement]

Rita: We're off to the movies, honey. Have fun at your party tonight!

Lynn Sr.: Lynn-sanity Sr. brought you some props! Nothing brightens up a party like a lampshade on the head! [He puts a lampshade on his his head and starts dancing, while Rita giggles.] Huh?

Lori: No offense, Dad, but I'm 17. I'm not throwing that kind of party.

[She flips through a magazine and shows a page to her parents.]

Rita: 50 ways to throw a sophisticated party.

Lynn Sr.: Oh, gotcha. So, it's more of a fake vomit affair, huh?

[He pretends to throw up fake vomit, and he and Rita laugh, while Lori looks annoyed.]

Rita: Come on, honey. We don't wanna miss the previews.

[They leave. Lori, Leni and Bobby are about to start decorating, when Lynn Sr. comes back.]

Lynn Sr.: I'd be kicking myself if I didn't at least ask. [spins his propeller] Propeller beanie?! [Lori, Leni and Bobby stare at him] And, I'm out. [leaves]

Lori: Oooookay. Item #1: Say more with great decor. Color coordinated coasters, check. Scented candles, check. Confetti- [Notices Bobby spreading the confetti] Bobby, sweetie, you're bunching the confetti. [takes the bag from him] You're supposed to scatter it whimsically, like this.

[She twirls around while scattering. Just then her siblings rush down with their party supplies and cheer.]

Lana and Lola: We brought our bouncers!

Lisa: I've constructed a chocolate fountain! It started out as a nuclear fusion device, but I accidentally dropped my chocolate bar in it.

Lincoln: And I've been working on my party tricks all week! [He takes off his pants and falls down, while his sisters laugh, while Lori looks annoyed] Knee farts!

Laney: I have some dance moves that may make your party really exciting. Watch! [A spotlight shines on Laney and she began to dance like as if she was at a disco dance floor and ends it with a breakdancing spin. Everyone sans Lori applauded for Laney]

Lori: [annoyed] Guys! Sorry, we're not doing any of that. This is going to be a sophisticated party.

Lana: Bor-ing!

Lori: Well, I'm glad you feel that way, because you're not invited. It's just for the older kids.

Lincoln: Yeah, sorry guys. It's just for us.

Lori: Lincoln, put your pants back on. You're not invited either. Just Leni and Luna.

Lincoln: What?! Come on!

Laney: Please let me come, Lori! I've never been to a grown up party before. I'll be awsome there!

Luna: Ooh! Me too! Please, please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeease!

Lori: Fine! But you have to be cool.

Laney: I can be cool!

Luan: Yeah. Cooly noted! [laughs; voicing Mr. Coconuts] Get it?

Lori: Don't make me regret my decision.

[Luan and Mr. Coconuts look at each other shocked]

Later that night, Laney was putting on her best dancing shoes and socks. She was so ainxious to show her moves to the grown ups.

[Lori's friends enter the basement]

Lori: Guys! So glad you could make it!

Dana: [Looks at Laney] Oh, is this one of your sisters?

Laney: Hi! I'm Laney, would you like to see me dance? [Lori stops her from breaking it down]

Lori: Ha ha ha. You're so funny, Laney. [To Laney] Laney, be a dear and fetch us some refreshments.

Laney: But what about my dance?

Lori: Later, Lanes. Later.

[Later as Laney came down with some refereshments when she bumps into Lincoln who was wearing a russian outfit]

Laney: We really gotta stop bumping into each other like this, Lincoln.

Lincoln: [In a russian accent] Who is this Lincoln you speak of? I am Lincolnovich Loudinski. But your brother told me all about you, yes?

Laney: Well, Lincolnovich. Did he tell you about my new dance moves?

Lincoln: [In a russian accent] Yes, he said you are good dancer. May I see?

Laney: Sure! [Laney began to perform her dance. She twisted herself around and the she spun followed by a moonwalk. Her feet moved like as if they were on fire. Lori's guests began to notice this, walked toward her and cheered as Laney continued. Before she finished, Lori grabbed her]

Lori: Laney! What are you doing?

Laney: Just showing off my dance moves.

Lori: Well, quit it. I'm trying to run a sophistcated party here! [Lori lets go of Laney and she walks away pouting at her]

[Later]

Bobby: Party's pretty sweet, babe.

Lori: Thanks, Boo-Boo Bear. Now for Item #8: Make your party all that with some sparkling chitchat. [grabs Bobby who yelps and goes over to some of her friends] So, has anyone done any travel lately? I hear the Galapagos Islands are beautiful this time of year.

[Her friends don't know how to respond]

Chaz: Uh...me and Tad went to the quarry and threw rocks at ducks.

[Lori looks disappointed at that statement. Just then, an amplifier screeches and some music starts blaring courtesy of Luna while Laney dances to the music. Some of the guests enjoy it]

Lori: Hey, guys! [the music stops] Did you check out the origami station? [shows some origami and pushes the guests away to talk to Luna] Guys, what are you doing?

Luna: Just trying to liven up the proceedings, dude?

Lori: Well, it's way too noisy. Item 4 clearly states that easy listening makes for easy talking.

Luna: What's item five? Put everyone to sleep?

Laney: [giggles] Good one.

Lori: You two are on warning!

[Leni takes a photo of their little argument with her phone]

Leni: Super cute! I'm totes posting this.

Lori: [looks at the photo] You totes are not! This is not sophisticated! Post this. [strikes a glamorous and sophisticated pose]

Leni: [takes the picture] Awesome! You look so constipated.

Lori: [frustrated] Sophisticated, Leni!

[Leni looks confused at her]

Lori: Item 7: Tasty bites make tasty nights. [gathers some snacks on a tray and offers them to her guests] Anyone for a mushroom polenta on toast points?

[Her guests gag and Luan and Mr. Coconuts pop up]

Luan: [as Mr. Coconuts] I've got a buddy who's a mushroom. He's a real fungi!

[The guests laugh and Lori drags Luan away to talk to her]

Lori: Luan, I told you to be cool.

Luan: What? I'm just trying to yuck it up a little.

Lori: [groans] There's no yucking at a sophisticated party.

Luan: [as Mr. Coconuts] Unless someone eats a polenta. Bazing!

Lori: You are both on warning! [goes over to her guests with a jar of paper pieces] Guys, who's up for some Charades? [beat] I'll go first. [reaches in for something to act and reads it] Okay. [holds up two fingers to say it's two words]

Tad: You have to go number two.

[Lori looks unimpressed. Luna and Laney sit around bored]

Laney: Gee, being at sophisticated party isn't as fun as I thought it would be.

Luna: You're tellin' me, L. If I was hostin' this shindig, we would rock it like a hurricane.

Laney: You sure would. [sighs] There's gotta be something we can do to liven this party up. [Luna starts playing some music with the washboard and brush] Yeah, that sounds great. [Laney began to dance to Luna's music. Attreacting the guests]

Tad: Hey! Lori's little sister's dancing again!

Chaz: Chaz like.

[Luna then starts playing music with the laundry equipment as Laney continued to dance and the crowd cheers only for Lori to break it up]

Lori: Guys, guys. I just put out some fresh salmon mousse. [turns to Luna as the guests walk away] Ugh. Luna, what did I tell you?

Luna: But, dude, they were pickin' up what we were layin' down.

Lori: Well, you need to pick up and leave before you ruin my party!

Luna: Whatever, brah. [leaves]

Luan: It's too bad. She had a real clean sound. [as Mr. Coconuts] "Guess you have to wash your step around here. [normal voice] Yeah, or you'll get hung out to dry.

[As she laughs at her jokes, Lori points toward the exit, telling her to leave]

Luan: [as Mr. Coconuts] Oh. Okay. We fold. [laughs as she leaves]

[Meanwhile, the guests are laughing at Lincoln as Lincolnovich juggling with one foot on his head]

Becky: Do another one, Lincolnovich!

Lincoln: [holding Becky's face] For you, Babushka, no problem!

[He steps and shakes his underwear out without taking his pants off, much to the astonishment of his audience; Lori grabs "Lincolnovich" and tears off his mustache]

Lori: Lincoln, I told you you're not invited!

Lincoln: But my tricks are killing!

Lori: I'm trying to throw a sophisticated party, and you're literally waving around your underwear! Now...SCRAM!

Lincoln: [in Russian accent] We will hear about this at embassy! [leaves]

Laney: [walks up to Lori] What's you're problem, Lori? We were just having fun! Like at people have at parties!

Lori: This is not those kind of parties. Besides, I thought you wanted to be here.

Laney: That was before I found out how lame this is! I should've known better, you grown ups are all the same! Stuffy and boring! [Lori gasps]

Lori: How dare you! If you don't like it, just leave!

Laney: Okay I will! [leaves]

Lori: Um, excuse me, everyone. I'm sorry for all my annoying siblings. Now that they're gone, we can get back to our charades and toast points.

[The others mumble and feign excitement]

Lori: Yay.

[The living room. Lincoln and Laney have just arrived.]

Luan: You guys got kicked out, too, huh?

[Lincoln and Laney sadly nod]

Luna: Don't worry, brahs. This party's way more rockin'. A-one, two, three, four! [starts playing]

[The twins start dancing and Lynn is bouncing on one of the bouncers]

Lynn: Check out this major air! [bounces high and away] Yee-haw!

Lucy: [forming a séance with the pets] Charles, I see your grandfather. He's a labradoodle.

[Lisa and Lily are drinking from the chocolate fountain.]

Lisa: [hooked] Oh, mama! This Theobroma Cacao, street name: chocolate, is working wonders on my serotonin levels!

Lily: [pouring some into her bottle] Goo-goo!

[They giggle]

Laney: [happy] Now THIS is a party!

Lincoln: Yeah! This party's way better. Mind if I sit in? [takes off his pants and does some knee farts while his sisters laugh]

Luna: Yeah, little bro! I dig what you're layin' down!

[They all have a good time upstairs. Back down in the basement, one of the guests is bored out of his mind]

Lori: I don't get it, you guys. I've been following the list, but people don't look like they're having fun.

Leni: I think they're having fun.

Lori: Leni, Joey is literally doing his homework. [shows Joey doing so in the corner] Hmm...I know what my mistake was!

Bobby: You listened too closely to some silly magazine instead of following your own instincts?

Lori: No. I left out Item 24! [goes to the dance floor] Okay, everyone, line dancing!

Guests: Ugh.

Lori: Don't worry. It's easy. Just watch me. [taps her feet and does the following moves she calls] Grapevine right, grapevine left, back three steps, and scuff!"[turns on some country music on her phone]

Becky: Um, Lori...um...can I get a drink?

Lori: Sure, Becky. As soon as I get a good grapevine out of you.

[They laugh awkwardly]

Becky: [pretending to make a ringing sound] Brring! Oh, there's my phone! [fakes getting a call] Oh, what's that, Mom? You stubbed your toe? Really hard? And you need me to come home right away? Oh, sorry, Lori. Family emergency. [leaves and sighs relieved]

Tad: [following her] Oh, uh, sorry. She's my ride. Wait up, Rhonda!

[The other guests run upstairs out of the party while passing Lori making her spin dizzy]

Guests: She's my ride, too. / Me too. / I'm blocking her in.

[Dana and Chaz are about to leave but Lori stops them]

Lori: Wait, you guys! Where are you going? We haven't, uh... [checks the magazine] ...made vision boards yet?

Chaz: [whispering to Dana] I don't need a vision to know I'm bored. [to Lori] Awesome party, Lori.

[He and Dana then leave]

Bobby: Don't feel bad, babe. I mean, a stubbed toe? That is pretty serious.

Lori: Eeh. Nice try, Boo-Boo Bear. But I know my party was a bomb.

Leni: What do you mean? Joey got all his homework done.

Lori: Guys, if you don't mind, I literally wanna be alone for a little bit.

[Bobby and Leni go upstairs and Lincoln and Laney come down]

Lincoln: Laney and I saw everyone leaving. Are you okay?

Lori: [sighs] I'm fine.

Laney: I'm sorry you're party didn't go so well. But to be fair, It wasn't as fun as you planned. [Lori stood silent]

Lincoln: Well, we're all hanging out upstairs if you wanna come join us. I mean, it's nothing "sophisticated", but-

Lori: You know what? I think I'm done with sophisticated. [tosses the magazine in the trash and notices something else in it] Oh. So that's where all the salmon mousse went. Wonderful.

[They leave the basement]

[Upstairs, the living room is fully decorated and the other sisters are wearing party hats. Lincoln and Lori arrive]

Lincoln: Hey, guys, look who's joining the party.

[The other sisters cheer. Lisa, experiencing a sugar rush, runs up to them]

Lisa: [hyperactive] Can I offer you a chocolate covered gelatinous confectionary, street name: marshmallow?

Lucy: Lori, come join our séance. We just discovered that Walt's ancestor is a pterodactyl.

Luan: [as Mr. Coconuts] And my ancestor's a coffee table.

[They laugh]

Luna: [brings Lori to the mic] Dudeage! Come sing a duet with me.

Lori: No, no. You know I'm not a good singer.

Luna: Come on. I'm doing your fave. [singing] Ooh, girl, give you the...

[Lori joins in]

Lori and Luna: Ooh, girl, world girl, give you the, ooh, girl, world girl!

Lynn: [bounces past Lori] Coming through!

Lola: [bouncing as well] I'm gonna beat you!

Laney: [bouncing too] Not if I beat you first!

Lori: I'm gonna beat all of you! [grabs a bouncer and starts bouncing with the crowd cheering; catches up and crosses the finish line made out of toilet paper] And the new bouncy ball champion is Lori Loud! [dunks herself with the chocolate fountain]

Leni: I am totally posting this.

[Leni posts a photo of Lori having so much fun. Becky, Dana, Chaz and Tad, now hanging out elsewhere, get the post and smile. Just then, the doorbell rings. Lori answers it and sees that it's Becky with pizza]

Becky: Yeah, my mom's toe, it's all better.

[The other guests come in]

Guests: Oh, yeah, and she's still my ride. / Mine, too./ Yeah, I needed to block her back in.

[Lori is happy to see her guests back. Everyone is having fun]

Lucy: [telling Joey his fortune] I see a B minus in your future.

Joey: [disappointed] Oh, man. Why do I even bother studying at parties?

Chaz: Great party, Lori. Chaz like.

Lori: Well, actually, it's not my-

Lincoln: Yeah! Lori throws the best parties.

Laney: She's also the one who taught me my dance moves. [winks at Lori]

Lori: [smiles] Speaking of, why don't you show them Laney?

Laney: Really? [Lori nods, and Laney smiles. She began busting a move with her twists, spins, moonwalks, and freestyle as the guests cheer on]

Guests: Go Laney! Go Laney! Go Laney! Go Laney!

Lori: [Gets and idea] I know what would make this even better! [holds out the box] Party props!

[Everyone grabs a prop and starts having fun with them. Just then, Rita and Lynn Sr. come in and gasp at the state of the party]

Lori: Uh, Mom and Dad, I'm sorry. Things got a little out of hand. Please don't be mad.

[The parents laugh]

Rita: We're not mad. We're thrilled!

Lynn Sr.: Honey, this is the kind of party a 17-year-old should have!

[The parents put lampshades on their heads and everyone laughs]

Lincoln: Hey, everyone! I got another pair of undies! Time for an encore performance! [starts doing his underwear trick]

Lynn Sr.: I taught him that!

[Lincoln successfully performs his trick and the party-goers cheer for him]

Laney: Best party ever!