45. The Whole Picture

The Whole Picture

[Episode begins with a view of Lincoln's first mustache hair zoomed in]

Clyde: Hold still...

[The camera flashes in]

Clyde: Got it!

Lincoln: Whoa! Great shot! First mustache hair ever. This one is definitely going in the "Lincoln Library".

Clyde: [confused] Lincoln Library?

[The next frame shows up a computer screen. Then it shows Lincoln's library with all his childhood memories]

Lincoln: Yep, it's the folder. where I keep all my cherished memories. Check it out. [he clicks a picture it shows Lynn and Lincoln in the bathtub with his whale and duck toys] Here's me and Lynn in the bathtub. [shows the next picture that Lori feeds Lincoln his first ice cream] Lori feeding me my first ice-cream. [the next shows a young Laney smearing paint on the wall] Laney's first painting. [The next picture shows his first mechanical pony ride with Luan and Lucy] My first mechanical pony ride and now, my first mustache hair. [It shows an error saying "'Lincoln Library' full. Make room for new file? He clicks yes, which causes the memories to go into the trash] Whoa! Where you going? [Lincoln starts to gasp] No,no,no,no,no! [He clicks the mouse faster then he slams the keyboard] Sto-o-op! [The images keep getting deleted] Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

[When the files are all gone, Lincoln clicks the trash icon, which is where all his pictures went. However, the memories weren't in there either.]

Lincoln: [Gasps] All my childhood memories are gone!

Clyde: Don't worry, buddy. This happened to me once, but I got them all back. My dads saved them in the cloud.

[In the kitchen, Lynn. Sr is making lasagna]

Lynn. Sr: What do you think, Charles? More cheese? Less cheese?

[Charles barks]

Lynn. Sr: You're right. [Reveals his face again] Always more cheese.

Lincoln: [shouting] Dad! Do we have the cloud?

Lynn. Sr: Well, Of course we do, Lincoln.

[Lincoln sighs in relief.]

Lynn. Sr: We also have the sky and the sun and the moon...

Lincoln: No, I mean the digital cloud. Where you store stuff from your computer.

Lynn. Sr: Oh. That cloud! No.

[Lincoln starts to whimper then he puts his head on the couch]

Lincoln: [crying] I can't believe it. All my childhood memories gone forever.

Clyde: Let it out, buddy. Dr. Lopez says the first step to healing is to honor your feelings.

[Suddenly, Charles runs out of the kitchen with the tray of lasagna in his mouth whilst Lynn. Sr chases him]

Lynn. Sr: No, no, no, no! Charles! Bad! [Charles starts eating the lasagna] I hate Mondays. [sighs] Guess I'll just have to remake it.

Lincoln: [suddenly excited] Remake it? Clyde, that's the answer!

Clyde: Good idea. Helping your dad with his lasagna might take your mind off your loss. That's the second step to healing.

Lincoln: No! I mean we'll remake the photos.

Clyde: Hmm. Denial. There's actually a step backwards but I'm in.

[Lincoln and Clyde go on stairs to the second floor in the hallway]

Lincoln: [shouting] Guys! Hallway meeting!

[The sisters come out of their rooms]

Lynn: [doing lunges] Hoho, this better be good. I was in the middle of my lunges.

Lincoln: [excited] Oh, it's better than good. Who wants to have a really fun day recreating some classic family photos?!

[The sisters, uninterested return to their rooms.]

Lola: Uh, hard pass.

Luna: Sorry, dude. We're all headed to the mall. Big sale on studded chokers.

Lucy: And coffin linings.

Lana: And dual flush toilets. [Laney steps up to Lincoln]

Laney: I would love to help recreate memories with you, Lincoln. [holds up a camera] I got my camera right here!

Lincoln: Thanks, Laney. But two Louds aren't going to cut it. We need a plan B.

Clyde: [putting Lana's hat on his head, putting pigtails in his hair, and marking out his front tooth] Or do we need plan C? Get it? The C is for Clyde.

Lincoln: I get it and I like it. But wait. Do you really think you can play all my sisters?

Clyde: Pssh. My dads and I have been doing Friday Night scene study for years. I once played all the orphans in "Annie". Ever heard of it? [imitates Lana] Now give me my plunger!

Lincoln: Wow! You have more layers than my dad's lasagna.

[Lincoln is making a list of photos to recreate]

Lincoln: OK, first shot. Me and Lynn in the tub. [gives film to Laney] And this time we're not taking any chances. I'm gonna use film and print hard copies. [Laney puts the film in the camera]

Clyde: [in red swimsuit and wig as he imitates Lynn] Whatever, nerd. Who uses film anymore? [throwing baseball] Think fast!

Lincoln: [hit by baseball] Oof! [catches camera] Clyde, what gives?

Clyde: Sorry, Lincoln. Just getting into character. It's an actor thing.

Lincoln: [puts his bath robe in the towel rack] Okay. [checks the light by using the temperate] Light's good. [touches the tub water with his finger] Water's good. [throws a rubber duckie] Props are ready. [Laney pressed the timer button from camera] Is the timer set, Laney?

Laney: Got it.

Lincoln: Alright. You've been here long enough to know how the pictures went. So what can you tell us about this?

Laney: Well, Lynn had one gapped tooth on her right side. [Clyde uses a marker and marks one of his right teeth]

Clyde: Anything else?

Laney: Just one. She wasn't wearing anything in the tub. [Offscreen, Clyde took off his bathing suit] Perfect! [Lincoln gets into the bath tub, fixes his diaper, him and Clyde smiles at the camera]

Clyde: [farts in the bath tub] Submarine destroyer!

Lincoln: Aw man, you farted?

Clyde: It felt right and I went with it.

[suspenseful music plays then the bubble pops on Lincoln, camera flashes]

Lincoln: Next up: Lori feeding me my first ice cream. [checks the chair's height] Chair is at optimal height. [puts spoon in the ice cream] Ice cream is mint chocolate chip. [adjusts diaper] Diaper is snug but not restrictive. [gets in the highchair] Clyde! I'm ready for you on set! [Clyde doesn't show up] Clyde? [to the viewers] Pfft. Actors.

[Lincoln tries to get out of the chair, but it topples over with him in it. Clyde runs in dressed as Lori and picks him up back into position]

Clyde: Sorry. I was just, uh...doing some character work.

[Flashback to Clyde dressing up as Lori and putting on his makeup]

Clyde: [acting to his reflection] Sorry, Bobby. It's literally over. I'm in love with Clyde.

[Laney sets the timer]

Lincoln: Well, it worked, 'cause you look just like Lori.

Clyde: Really? [looks at himself on the bottom of a skillet] L-L-L-Lori? [nosebleeds on the ice cream and faints; camera flashes. Laney sighs]

Laney: Okay, that was a mistake. We've forgotten how Clyde reacts around Lori. What's next?

Lincoln: My first mechanical pony ride with Lucy and Luan.

[Lincoln is dressed like a cowboy and Clyde is dressed like Luan]

Clyde: [disappointed] I could have played both roles. You didn't have to hire an amateur.

[Rusty arrives wearing a Lucy outfit]

Rusty: Wassup, playas? [puts on Lucy wig and strikes rock poses] Lucy Loud is in the house!

Clyde: Rusty, a little acting tip: Lucy would never say that.

Rusty: You just worry about your Lola.

Laney: Okay, Rusty. I'm gonna want you to wear this. [holds up a diaper]

Rusty: Aw, now way! I'm pretty sure Lucy wouldn't wear this!

Laney: She would if she was a baby! Now come on! Everything's got to be completely accurate. [Puts Clyde on a dress young Luan wore, Rusty puts on the diaper]

Clyde: I'm Luan! Did you at all prepare for this?

Lincoln: [annoyed] Guys, let's just get the shot.

[Laney sets the camera ready to shoot]

Laney: Ready! [Lincoln puts the quarter in the coin slot; the ride starts and then goes haywire and bucks them all off into shopping carts as the camera flashes]

Clyde: Wow! That's really putting the cart before the horse! [laughs] Get it? [Laney smacks herself in the head in frustration]

[Lincoln, Laney, and Clyde knock on Mr. Grouse's door and he answers]

Mr. Grouse: What is it, Loud?

Lincoln: Hey, Mr. Grouse. We're taking a photo and we really need someone to play Santa.

[Beat]

Mr. Grouse: Hard pass.

[As he closes the door, Lincoln puts his foot in it to stop him]

Lincoln: What if I can make it worth your while?

[Laney was decorating the living room for Christmas and Mr. Grouse is dressed as Santa and eating up Lynn Sr.'s lasagna]

Mr. Grouse: I'm not a fan of playing dress-up, but I do love your dad's lasagna.

Lincoln: [notices the tray's contents are gone] Okay, I did not think you'd eat the whole tray, but I'm sure we can find something else for dinner. We're burning daylight, people! Where's my elf?

[Clyde is dressed as an elf pretending to work on a toy train]

Clyde: One sec, Lincoln. Just have to finish this train. [smashes the toy hammer on his thumb] OW! [sucks on it]

Laney: How can that even hurt you!? Come on! [pushes him next to the chair with Mr. Grouse sleeping in it] Out of there. [She removes Clyde's thumb from his mouth; to Mr. Grouse] Wake up! [snaps her fingers]

Mr. Grouse: Wha? Huh?

Laney: Clyde, you stand here. Lincoln, you sit here! [Puts Lincoln on Mr. Grouse's lap]

[She runs up to the camera, ready to shoot. When Mr. Grouse belched from the lasagna, making Lincoln kneel over and land on Clyde's foot]

Clyde: OW! [gets tangled in the Christmas lights, causing the tree to get tossed in the air; camera flashes]

[At the photo hut, Lincoln, Laney, and Clyde have just gotten the photos developed]

Lincoln: Okay, Clyde, moment of truth. Let's see how our first roll came out.

[The first photo shows Lincoln disgustedly getting out of the tub after Clyde farted. The second photo shows Clyde passionately fainting from his Lori costume and the blood-covered ice cream about to spill onto Lincoln. The third photo shows them and Rusty about to land in the carts after the pony ride bucked them off. The fourth photo shows them and Mr. Grouse crushed under the Christmas tree]

Lincoln, Laney, and Clyde: These...are...

Lincoln and Clyde: AWESOME!

Laney: HORRIBLE!

Lincoln: Wait, what do you mean?

Laney: These look nothing like our memories! Not even close to accurate! We have to try this again! What's the next scene?

Lincoln: It's my seventh birthday.

Clyde: Great! Will it require an accent? Do I need to gain weight?

Lincoln: Thank you, Clyde, but that won't be necessary.

Clyde: I also do my own stunts. [lunges off a fire hydrant and goes screaming and plummeting down a manhole]

[The backyard. Lincoln and Clyde are inflating a bounce house with their breath]

Lincoln: [exhausted] So glad we still have this thing.

Clyde: [exhausted as well] Wish you still had the pump, though. [breathes in one more time and passes out]

Laney: No! No! No! He didn't have a bounce house! He had a lucha livre party!

Lincoln: Come on, Clyde. We need to redress the set. [deflates the bounce house]

Clyde: [limping] I think I need to go lie down for a minute...in Lori's bed.

[Lincoln grabs his arm and drags him with him. Now the set is made to look like a lucha libre match with Clyde dressed as Lunatic Lynn]

Laney: Okay. If I remember the photo right, Lincoln was on the ground and Lynn was leaping on top of him.

Clyde: Cool. Just give me a second to get back into Lynn's character. [stretches and grunts] Okay, good to go!

[Laney sets up the camera and Loco Lincoln and lays on the mat; Clyde gets on a turnbuckle]

Clyde: Lunatic Lynn off the third turnbuckle! [leaps off] AIEEEEEEE!

[Lincoln gasps and gets up]

Lincoln: Wait a minute. [Clyde lands on the mat with a thud and Lincoln takes off his mask] It wasn't lucha libre. It was circus themed!

Clyde: [in agony] I'll get my clown shoes...

[Now the set is circus themed with Clyde dressed as a clown on a unicycle]

Lincoln: Wait. It wasn't a clown. It was a lion tamer.

[Clyde loses his balance on his unicycle and falls into Mr. Grouse's yard]

Mr. Grouse: OUT OF MY- [belches] -YARD!

[Now Clyde is dressed like a lion tamer and Cliff is wearing a fake lion's mane]

Lincoln: Wait. It wasn't a lion tamer. It was a contortionist.

[Cliff attacks Clyde; Clyde is now contorting his body]

Lincoln: No, it wasn't a contortionist. It was a guy shot out of a cannon.

[Clyde rolls off in his contorted state and thuds; now he's in a cannon wearing a jumpsuit]

Lincoln: Wait a minute.

Clyde: [worried] Oh, no. Are you changing your mind? 'Cause if you're changing your mind, you should definitely get me out of- [gets fired out of the cannon] -HEEEEEEEERE!

Lincoln: [too deep in thought] What did we do at that party? [gets Clyde down out of the tree he landed in] Sorry to put you through that, buddy.

Clyde: That's okay, Lincoln. It was nothing compared to the roof tumble I took during "Fiddler" last Fright Family Theater Night.

Lincoln: [panicking] We got a problem, guys! My memories are starting to slip away!

Laney: Well, I still know them all by heart! And we're gonna do them all exactly like before! Now let's go! [Pushes Lincoln and Clyde]

Clyde: Is your sister always like this, Lincoln?

Lincoln: No, she's really on the edge today.

[A montage begins with Laney, Lincoln, and Clyde speeding through the remaining photos. First, they recreate the time he and Luan made a sandcastle at the beach by using the sandbox as the beach. Then they recreate the time he and Lana made a snowman together by using garbage bags as snow. Next, they recreate Lynn Sr. teaching Lincoln to ride his first bike with Clyde having his back turned as if it were the first season. Then, they recreate the time he and Lynn went on an Easter egg hunt. Next, they recreate the time Rita saw Lincoln first use the potty. Then, they recreate the time he went trick-or-treating with Lucy; Lincoln went as Ace Savvy and Lucy went as a vampire. Then, they recreate the first time Lori pushed Lincoln on the swing. Next, they recreate the time Leni gave him his first haircut. Then, they recreate the first jam session he and Luna had. Finally, they recreate the time Lincoln first bottle-fed Lisa when she was still a baby. Then the first time he first bottle-fed Lola when she was one. And then the first time Rita first bottle-fed him when he was one. Each time, Lincoln makes a nervous smile to the camera as it flashes. And Laney gets more and more frustrated]

[Soon, Laney, Lincoln, and Clyde are passed out on the ground from all those photos they took]

[Soon, Lincoln and Clyde are passed out on the ground from all those photos they took]

Sisters: LINCOLN!

Lori: What are you doing with all our stuff?

Lola: [notices and gasps] That tiara is never supposed to touch the ground!

Lincoln: Ladies, don't worry. I'm going to put everything back, right after I develop this- [opens the camera only to discover there's no film in it; devastated] NOOOOOOOOOO! I can't believe I forgot to load the film.

Laney: You mean all this time, you didn't put in the darn film?! [Lincoln faints] Lincoln?...

Lincoln: [comes to later, babbling] Potty...sandbox...lion tamer...lasagna...

Lola: [slaps him] Lincoln! Snap out of it! You're babbling!

Lucy: Are you okay? Clyde and Laney told us what you were trying to do.

Lisa: Then he caught a glimpse of Lori and lost consciousness.

Clyde: [still unconscious] L-L-L-L...

Leni: [fanning him] Don't say her name so loud.

Laney: It's all my fault, Lincoln. I pushed you and Clyde too hard. I was so determined to help recreate your memories since I know them all by heart and I turned into a control freak. I'm sorry for the way I acted.

Lana: And we're sorry you lost all your photos. Do you want us to help you recreate them?

Luan: Yeah. I shutter to think what you're going through. [laughs to Lori] Get it?

Lincoln: [sighs] Thanks anyway, guys, but it's useless. My childhood memories are already gone. I can't even remember what happened at my seventh birthday party.

Lori: I can. You had a magician.

[Flashback to the party where Lincoln pulls a rabbit of the magician's hat]

Lori: You literally freaked out about his rabbit.

[Seven-year-old Lincoln freaks out and the rabbit runs away and Charles chase it; this causes the cake to go flying and hit Lincoln; end flashback with all his sisters laughing in reality]

Lincoln: I can't believe you remember that.

Luna: Dudes, remember what happened at Lincoln's sixth birthday party?

Luan: [laughs] At the bowling alley? I'll never forget that!

[Flashback to the bowling alley party with six-year-old Lincoln careening down the lane with the ball still stuck to his fingers and hitting the pins while getting stuck at the end of the lane; end flashback with more sisterly laughter]

Lynn: [nudges Lincoln playfully] That was the only strike you ever got, lame-o!

Leni: [still fanning the unconscious Clyde] Do you guys remember that time when Lincoln deleted all of his photos off the computer? [laughs]

Lola: Uh, that was this morning.

Leni: [laughs again] I know! Remember?

Luan: Yeah. What about the time Lincoln got into Mom's cosmetics?

[Flashback to baby Lincoln playing with Rita's makeup and getting it on his face; end flashback]

Luan: Now, there's a story you couldn't makeup! [laughs as her sisters groan]

Laney: Well, what I think is the most memorable was when I made my first painting. [cut to flashback]

Laney flashed back to when she was a baby, Lincoln was helping her parents paint the new room for Lisa, the upcoming baby. When Laney crawled out of her room and noticed the can of brown paint and she started to dip her hand and smeared all over the wall.

[Baby Laney giggled, Lincoln noticed her and smiled]

Lincoln: Wow, you're quite the artist aren't ya? [Laney giggles] Well, here. [gives her a paintbrush] This should get you started. [Laney flicked the brush around the wall, and she and Lincoln laughed] Come on, now. Let's get you cleaned up. [Grabs Laney and head to the bathroom to wash the paint off her; end flashback. Laney holds up the same paintbrush Lincoln gave her]

Laney: [To Lincoln] You're the one that inspired me to express more of myself everyday.

Siblings: Awww.

Lincoln: [Hugs Laney] Thanks, Laney.

Lynn: Ooh! And the time he spent all day on his bike trying to catch the end of the rainbow?

Lori: Or the time he wore his Blarney the Dinosaur costume every day for a week.

Lynn: Ooh! How about how he got his chipped tooth?

[They all laugh and continue sharing fond memories of Lincoln's past]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] Turns out I have nothing to worry about. With all my sisters, it's like having the Lincoln Library times eleven. I'm pretty sure whatever happened in my life, they'll help me remember it.

Lori: How about that time Lincoln tried to climb the shelves to get cookies?

[Flashback to that time with Lincoln on the shelves; he slips and gets his pants caught on the door handle; end flashback]

Lincoln: [uneasy] That one I'd rather forget.

[The girls continue laughing and Lincoln eventually joins in with them. They all gather together to share a tender hug. Clyde finally comes to, notices the precious moment, and captures it with his phone's camera]

[The photo Clyde took is now uploaded into the Lincoln Library]

Lincoln: Perfect start to the new Lincoln Library. Now with cloud backup.

Lori: [off-screen and angry] WHO USED ALL MY LIPSTICK?!

[Clyde smiles guiltily]

PS: I've finally figured out that Laney has a creative personality! Just lettin' you guys know for some of ya who's been pondering that a few chapters ago. Welp! See ya next weekend!