14. Undie Pressure

Undie Pressure (AKA: New Habits Die Hard)

It was a cloudy and rainy day for the Louds neighborhood. And Laney was not a fan of those kind of days, she couldn't find anything to do except watch the rain fall on her house.

Laney: [thoughts] Every time I see rain, I keep wishing and wishing for it to stop... [thunder roared, making Laney jump and then lands on Luan]

Luan: What's the matter Laney? Bored?

Laney: Y-yeah. I don't like rainy days.

Luan: How about a joke to turn that frown around?

Laney: Um that...

Luan: Why can't a comedian tell a dirty laundry joke? 'Cause it always comes out clean! [laughs, Laney sighs at Luan's lame joke]

Lynn: Hey Lanes! Think fast!

Laney: No! [Laney catches the ball but falls down and slides into the wall]

Lynn: Well, I did say think fast.

[Luna enters the scene, holding a radio toward her ear]

Luna: [in a British accent] I bloody love this song! Sing it like you mean it, Mick! [Lucy pokes her head out of the fireplace, making her jump in terror] BLIMEY!

Lucy: I'm trying to write here.

Lori: [on the phone, to Bobby] No, I love you more, silly. [to Leni] It's our six-week-iversary.

Leni: You two are like, gonna be together for, like, ever.

Lisa: Speaking of forever, Lori, my study indicates you haven't used the bathroom in quite some time.

Lori: EWW! There is no way I'm being in your grody poop study!

Laney: [thoughts] Nothing like a rainy day to bring a family together. Good thing Lincoln is the other only sibling standing out of this weird crowd. [Lincoln's pants are then fallen onto Laney's head] Then again...

Lola: Groooooss!

Lincoln: What?

Lola: Why do you always have to read your comics in your underpants?!

Lincoln: 'Cause reading my comics with my clothes on is uncomfortable and distracting. [shakes his booty at Lola] And you know how I like to be comfortable while reading comics. Now, scootch!

[Lincoln sits between Lola and Lisa; Lola, repulsed, jumps onto the armrest]

Lola: ACK! It's an annoying habit, and you get butt germs everywhere!

Lincoln: Me annoying? You can't look away from the mirror for five seconds! [holds up all four of his fingers]

Lola: LIES!

[it turns out Lola is looking in her mirror rather than at Lincoln; she looks back, closes the mirror, and smiles sheepishly]

Lincoln: And Lori, would it kill you not to talk to Bobby all the time?!

Lori: I do not talk to Bobby all the time! [to Bobby, over the phone] Do I, Bobby?

Lincoln: And Lisa, you always do your weird poop studies!

Lisa: It's quite fascinating work.

Lincoln: And Laney, you... Actually you don't have any habits. But still! You guys couldn't last ten minutes without doing your annoying things!

Lori: We could last longer than you!

Lincoln: I bet you couldn't!

Lola: Oh, really? Care to make it a little more interesting? [hops onto the couch crest, and walks back and forth] If we can stop doing our things longer than you can stop doing yours, then you have to give up reading in your underwear...FOREVER! [raises her fist]

Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana and Lisa: YEAH!

Laney: Count me in! [They all looked at Laney]

Lincoln: Um. No offense Laney, but I think you might wanna sit this one out.

Laney: But I want to be a part of this too.

Lincoln: But last time I checked, you don't have any annoying habits.

Lori : You're like the least annoying sister in this family.

Laney: What do you mean by that?

Lola: You never fight, you're always quiet, you don't have any flaws at all!

Lana: You're baisically perfect.

Laney: P-perfect? Well nobody's perfect! I can be as imperfect as you guys! Watch! [Laney danced around making silly faces, Lily giggled, Laney sighs and walks away] Fine...

Lincoln: Right, now what's in it for me?

Later, in the kitchen. Laney was at the kiddie table thinking to herself.

Laney: They think I'm so perfect because I don't have any flaws. Well, I can be annoying, I can be crazy, I can be an included member of this-[sees Lucy behind her] AAAH! Oh, hey Lucy. How's the bet?

Lucy: I'm out.

Laney: Oh sorry about that. Say Lucy, when you appear out of nowhere all the time does it annoy people.

Lucy: No, it scares people. [opens the fridge] I believe the true way to spook people, is if they don't see it coming.

Laney thought about it for a moment, then later...

Lincoln: [looks at some of the pants in the laundry basket] Too scratchy...too tight...too far after Labor Day...Oh, these are perfect! [Laney was behind him] Hey Laney.

Laney: I didn't scare you... [Lincoln walks away, Laney sighs]

Bobby: [desperate] Babe! Why aren't you answering my calls?!

[Lori looks forlornly at Bobby, puts her hand on the window, then looks away]

Lori: Forgive me, my love. [draws the curtains over the window; she then sees Laney dangling from the ceiling, Lori moved her aside and sees something else] Lincoln, why are you wearing my leggings?!

Bobby sees Laney hanging on the ceiling and she tried to scare him, but no effect. Laney sighed and fell from from ceiling. Seconds later she was on the couch.

Luna: [sweedish accent] Why da mopin' ja?

Laney: What makes your habits so annoying?

Luna: Vell, no vone's ever called me accents anoyin' ja?

Laney: What about your music?

Luna: Oh no! They all love my music ja? It's really loud and awesome!

[Luna sees Laney already left, she hears something on the radio]

Jay Rock: [over the radio] Hey, cats and kittens, this is Jay Rock here! I'm giving away Mick Swagger tickets to the caller with... the best British accent!

[Luna's eyes widen, looks back and forth, and slinks away to behind the curtains]

Much later, Laney appeared with a bass guitar in her hand. It was a bit hard for her to hold, but she managed.

Laney: Hey dudes! You wanna hear a song? [All eyes were on Laney] Okay! This one's called... umm. I'll work on the name later.

As Laney strummed, the guitar bass shook her through the living room. She bounced through the couch, wiggled through the floor, and spun around until she stopped at the sound her siblings applauding.

Luna: Way to rock out little sis!

Lisa: Yes, that was very amusing.

Leni: I didn't know you play guitar.

Laney: NO! [breaks the guitar in anger]

Luna: Aww man. That was my favorite bass...

Much later we see Laney in the kitchen again, sad that she still hasn't found a unique annoying habit of her own.

Laney: I'm not scary. I'm not noisy. Everything I try, I succeed! I just want to show them I can fit in this family... [sighs, then a Lola shaped shadow appeared]

Lola: So you want to be annoying huh? I think I can help you with that...

Seconds later, Laney was turning up the thermostat.

Lola: [whispers] Now, just like I planned. [hands Laney a glass of juice]

Lincoln: [begins to sweat] Whew, is it hot in here? [Laney walks over to Lincoln]

Laney: Perhaps you would like a drink to cool you off...

Lincoln: Well, thanks Lan- [Laney spills the drink on Lincoln's pants] EEK!

Laney: [fake shock] Oh no! Your pants are all wet. No use keeping them on, especially in this heat. [walks away]

Lincoln: It's not like Laney to do something like that. Why would she...[looks at the thermostat] 98 degrees?! How did...[realized who's behind this] Lola!

Minutes Later...

[Lola is walking down the stairs, and she sees Lincoln holding a rag]

Lola: Lincoln, what are you doing?

Lincoln: Just readin'. Oh, and I polished every surface of the living room. So shiny, you can see your face.

[Lola sees that all the shiny surfaces around her bear her reflection; she shields her eyes]

Lola: AAH! Must...not...look...at self! Beautiful...beautiful self! [runs for the kitchen, screaming]

Lincoln: And I waxed the kitchen floor, too! Such reflection!

[Lola runs back into the living room, screaming, and she hits her face on the back of the chair, leaving an imprint of her makeup on it; she falls onto the floor, dazed]

Lola: THAT'S IT! [hops onto the chair, with a pair underwear in her hands] Give up, Lincoln! You know you want these! [rubs the underwear on Lincoln's face] Smell 'em! SMELL THAT COTTON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT 'EM!

Lincoln: I'm not giving up! You'd give up right now if could see what's wrong with your face! [holds up Lola's pocket mirror]

Lola: WHAT?! Guys, is there something wrong with my face?!

[the girls clamor, trying to convince her otherwise]

Lola: LIES! GIVE ME A MIRROR! [she looks into a shiny doorknob, and she screams at her hideous reflection; she dashes upstairs for her room, then comes back down a few seconds later, back to her normal self] Ahh, that's better. [a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds]

Lincoln: I WIN! [rips the sweatpants off] The victory undies are mine! [opens up the catalog] Okay, ladies, pay up!

[Lily throws her pacifier at Lincoln to get his attention]

Lincoln: Hey, Lily.

[Lily looks up at Lincoln, and he comes to a startling realization]

Lincoln: [gasp] LILY!

Lori: "She didn't cry this entire time! That means...

[the girls toss Lily into the air in victory]

Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lana and Lisa: LILY WINS! [they cheer for Lily, who laughs along with them]

Lincoln: [collapses to the floor] And I lost!

Lola: Well, Lincoln, guess you have to give up reading comics in your underwear forever!

[a red "X" appears over Lincoln's face, and a buzzer sounds]

Laney couldn't help but feel sorry for Lincoln, she then got an idea.

Later...

[there is a "knock-knock" at the door, and Luan goes to answer it]]

Luan: Who's there?

Delivery Man: [from outside] Delivery man.

Luan: 'Delivery man' who?

Delivery Man: Come on, kid, it's raining!

Luan: That's your punchline? You really need to work on your delivery. [skips away, laughing]

[Lincoln answers the door]

Delivery Man: Package for...Lincoln Loud. [hands Lincoln a package]

[Lincoln opens the package, and he gasps its contents: a pair of red briefs]

Lincoln: My victory undies! I don't get it!

Lori: We didn't order it for you.

?: I did...

[It was revealed that it was Laney who said that]

Sisters: [all angered] But he lost the bet!

Laney: Girls, if I learned anything today, is that we can't give up on our habits. Lori, you can't just stop talking to your boyfriend Bobby. Lisa, you can't stop doing your interesting science experiments. Lola, you can't help but admire yourself at the mirrior. And Lincoln, you love to read comics in your underwear. Even if it disturbs most of us... My point is, it's our weird, crazy, noisy habits that makes us who we are. Especially if your habit is just being perfect.

Lori: That's what all this was about? Laney, we didn't mean to insult you when we said that.

Laney: You didn't?

Lynn: Nah! You're the coolest! Always lookin' out for us.

Lucy: Seeing reason where there isn't.

Lincoln: For a family as crazy as this, you're the only one who knows how to wrap it up like a happy ending. [Laney couldn't help but smile and hug her brother]

Laney: Thanks guys...

[Soon all of her sisters came in to hug Laney]

Laney: [thoughts] Yep, nothin' like a rainy day to bring a family together...

Lincoln: I really gotta thank you for these undies. They're almost too nice to wear... But not that nice! [Lincoln rushes off and puts his new undies on, Laney giggles]

Laney: Hey, Lynn! [picks up Lynn's football] Think fast!

And so for the rest of the rainy day Laney played with her sisters. Knowing that even though she doesn't have a weird habit, it doesn't mean she's not part of the family.

TEFN!: The End for now!