131. Any Given Sundae

Any Given Sundae

[Lily goes to the kitchen and yawns, stretching. Lynn Sr. is shown cooking and Rita talks to him.]

Rita: Thanks for breakfast, honey. [Kisses him.] I should be back around four after I finish pulling Flip's wisdom teeth.

Lynn Sr.: I thought you already did that.

Rita: He grew another set.

Lynn Sr.: What?

Rita: You know, I was thinking, the kids have been really good this week, haven't they?

Lynn Sr.: [Flipping an egg] Oh, they've been great. No calls from school...

Rita: No trips to the ER...

Lynn Sr.: I only had to raise my voice once.

Rita: We should do something special for the kids. How about taking them out for ice cream when I get back?

Lynn Sr.: Oh, I love it! We could go to Auntie Pam's Parlor!

Rita: [Looks at Lily, who has her toy keys in her mouth.] And you know what? I think someone's ready for her first taste of ice cream!

Lynn Sr.: Oh! This is my favorite of all the milestones! [To Lily] What do you think, sweetie? You wanna try some... [in slow motion] ice cream?

Lily: [gasps] Huh? Ice ceam?

[She then imagines being in a pink sky on a cloud as "Once Upon a Dream" from Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty plays in the background. There's a sundae floating in the air. She turns towards it and gasps, reaching out to it, giggling. She then sees a flying teapot spraying chocolate sauce from its sprout, onto the sundae, then the rainbow above her melts into sprinkles, which lands on the sundae, the cloud, and her. She giggles, then some gummi bears appear on top of her head, do some dancing, and leap off her head, into the sundae. She grabs it and goes flying through the air, going through a cloud of whipped cream, which is on the sundae and on her face. Two spoons then hop past her, dance with each other, and jump into the sundae. She laughs and claps, then looks on in wonder as a cherry falls out of the sky, and onto the sundae. She is exuberant and begins to levitate towards it, until Rita's arms grab her and literally pull her out of the daydream, while she screams. Back in reality, Rita is holding an unamused Lily.]

Rita: So, ice cream sounds good?

Lynn Sr.: Darn tootin'! If today goes okay, too.

Rita: [affectionately to Lily] Let's see if your siblings can behave for just a few more hours. [Boops Lily's nose and Lily giggles] And if they do, it's ice cream time!

[She puts Lily on the floor and Lily imagines the ice cream, then imagines her siblings arguing.]

Imaginary Lisa: Don't touch my glasses!

Imaginary Lynn: I can't believe you-

Imaginary Lola: Leni,-

[The siblings in Lily's imagination start arguing too quickly to make sense of and that imagination devours the other.]

Lily: [Stops imagining and looks ticked] Wah-wah! [growls, then walks off looking grumpy]

[Lily is walking Lincoln and Lori into her and Lisa's room.]

Lincoln: Uh, Lily, is everything okay?

[He and Lori look surprised to see that Lily has led their other sisters into her and Lisa's room too.]

Leni: Isn't this cute? Lily's calling a sibling meeting.

[Lily brings in a pad of paper, which hits a block, and crudely draws a sundae. She then points and babbles to it.]

Lola: Good job, Lily, you drew an... upside-down tree.

[Lily facepalms, then tries to mime eating ice cream.]

Lincoln: I think she's trying to tell us something.

Lisa: Perhaps the infant has some trapped wind.

Laney: She's saying that mom and dad are treating us to ice cream later today if we behave until they come back and Lily really wants a first taste of ice cream.

Lincoln: You got all that from a few squiggles?

Laney: No, I overheard them by the living room.

Leni: Aww! You're first taste of ice cream, Lily. Aren't you excited.

Lily: [Waves her hands around and points to the other siblings] Guh! Guh!

Laney: I think she's worried that we might mess up and she won't get to eat her first ice cream.

Lincoln: Well she's got nothing to worry about. We've been perfectly behaved all week. Lily's getting that ice cream.

Lily's siblings: Bye, Lily!

[The siblings leave the room.]

Laney: [Holds up Lily] Don't worry, Lily. I for one know how important and special it is to taste ice cream for the first time. I remember my first ice cream. It was strawberry with cherry syrup drizelled and with sprinkles. [Drools] It was magical... So don't you worry. I will do everything in my power to get you that ice cream. [Laney carries Lily out of Lori's room. Lily then sees some toys discarded in the hallway and growls in frustration.]

Lynn Sr.: [singing offscreen] Checking the mail, skippa-dee-bop. What did we get in the latest crop?

[Lily looks nervous and imagines Lynn Sr. coming out of the bathroom.]

Imaginary Lynn Sr.: Doo-be-doo- [steps on a jack] Ow, ow, ow! Oh, ow! [Steps on a skateboard and goes sliding along.] Whoa! [Falls off the skateboard and his head lands inside a drum.] No more ice cream!

[The imagination ends as Lily screams. She pulls on Laney's scarf and points at the toys.]

Laney: I'm on it. [She quickly cleans up the hallway and puts away the toys]

Lynn Sr.: [comes out of the bathroom] Maybe a crop. Maybe a bill [Laney sees a toy car right where he was about to step on, she hastily grabs the remote control and moves it away just in time.] Checking the mail is always a thrill. Doo doo doo ba-da-ba-da! Doodley doo doo doo- [walks downstairs]

[Lily smiles, then walks into the kitchen, where Lincoln is talking on the walkie-talkie and mopping the floor.]

Clyde: [on the walkie-talkie] Lincoln! I've got a code denim!

Lincoln: You're stuck in a pair of skinny jeans?!

Clyde: I was trying to update my looks, but now I can't feel my legs!

Lincoln: [puts the mop down] Mopping the floor can wait. I'm on my way! [runs out of the kitchen and past Lily and Laney] Don't struggle, Clyde, it'll only make it worse

[Lily imagines her parents both slipping on the wet floor. She looks determined and slides along the floor on her butt, thereby completing its mopping. When she's done, she walks into the living room, where the twins are on the couch fighting over the TV remote.]

Lola: I wanna watch my pageant show!

Lana: I wanna watch my penguin show! [The twins struggle as the TV keeps flipping between their favorite shows back and forth, then Lana has the remote.] Got it!

Lola: Give it to me!

[She jumps on Lana and they begin fighting. Lily and Laney hear Vanzilla's horn to show that Rita just pulled into the driveway. She nervously runs towards the twins, but then sees Lynn with her football on top of the stairs.]

Lynn: Lynn Loud looks downfield but nobody's open! She's going for the quarterback sneak!

Lily: Huh?

[Lily then sees Luan with a spring-loaded boxing glove.]

Luan: If all goes accordion to plan, my family will glove this prank!

[Lily gasps and imagines Rita entering and being tackled by the twins' fight, or Lynn, or being punched by Luan.]

Imaginary Rita: No more ice cream!

[The imagination ends. Lily was worried. But then, Laney puts on a look of determination]

Laney: We're gonna need back up. [She whistles. Meanwhile, Squeals was outside relaxing in a mud puddle when she heard Laney whistle. She looked determined then she quickly dashed to Laney and Lily's aid.] Okay, Squeals. We got a situation. Lily wants to eat her first ice cream and the only thing standing in her way is this huge mess! [Squeals salutes her. Lily then jumps on her back.] You take living room, I'll handle kitchen.

[Lily and Laney split up. Lily was riding on Squeals to the living room. They hop up the couch and Lily steals the remote from the twins. She then changes the channel.]

Woman on TV: And now, back to Penguin Pageants!

[The twins stop fighting.]

Lana and Lola: Huh?

[They watch intently. Meanwhile, Laney was in the kitchen mopping up the floor. She then sees Luan putting the final touches on her boxing glove prank, thinking fast she whistled for Walt, who flies out of his cage to tickle Luan.]

Luan: [giggles while trying to shoo the canary] Walt, knock it off!

[Luan then accidentally punches herself in the face with the glove and is knocked unconscious. Meanwhile, Lily jumps off Squeals and Laney uses the glove to launch her onto Lynn's face, knocking her over.]

Lynn: Oh no, it's a fumble! [Points]

[Lily sees Lynn's football roll down the stairs and gets nervous. Rita enters and Squeals catches the ball just as it was going to make contact with her. Rita looks confused, but happy.]

Rita: Well, this is nice to see everybody getting along. And Luan's even taking a nap.

[Lily is seen climbing down the stairs, the Laney pickes her up.]

Lynn Sr.: [comes out of his and Rita's room] Yep, they've been perfect all day. Not a single mess or meltdown.

[Laney and Lily fist bump]

Rita: That's all I needed to hear. Kids, come down here, please! [All the Loud kids assemble.] Do you want to tell them the surprise or should I?

Lynn Sr.: Oh, you do it.

Rita: You guys have been so well-behaved this week, we wanted to do- Luan, wake up.- something nice for you, so everybody get in Vanzilla because-

Lynn Sr.: [excitedly] I changed my mind, I wanna tell them, we're going for ice cream!

[The siblings make various cheerful exclamations, from which can be heard "Yes!" from one of the sisters, "Awesome!" from Lincoln, "Seriously?!" from Leni, and "Ice cream!" from Lynn. Lily imagines her sundae. Laney just smiled at her]

[The Louds begin walking out the door.]

Lynn Sr.: Catch up, my little tomatoes, time to head out!

[Lily is about to head out as well when sees an ad on TV.]

Ad: Come beat the heat at Auntie Pam's Parlor, but make sure you get there by five; [Lily watches intently and does a victory fist pump before realizing what the commercial is saying] we're closing early to give our scoopers a break. Don't forget, five PM! One more time; five PM! Five PM!

Laney: Don't worry, Lily. We'll make it there before then. What can happen?

[Cut to Vanzilla driving off. Lynn Sr. types in their destination on his phone and sets it on the holder.]

GPS: Your estimated arrival time at Auntie Pam's Parlor is 4:46 PM.

[Lily is relieved and imagines the dot on the GPS turning into a cherry.]

Imaginary Cherry: See you soon, Lily! [kisses]

Lily: [gasps] Cherry...

[Suddenly, Vanzilla comes to a stop to find it in the middle of traffic.]

Rita: There's never this much traffic on this street.

GPS: Your new estimated arrival time is 5:05 PM.

Lynn Sr.: No biggie. Auntie Pam's doesn't close 'til eight.

Laney: [Whispers] No, no, no! [Gets an Idea; To Lynn Sr] Hey, Dad. I think Lily wants to play with your phone.

Lynn Sr.: Well, sure. [Gives the phone to Laney] Well, sure you can play with it, Lily. But please don't call Aunt Ruth again. It's two hours I'll never get back.

[Laney takes the phone and puts in new coordinates. And puts the phone onto the holder.]

GPS: Rerouting, make a U-turn onto Oakville Road.

Lynn Sr.: Oh, look at that. [British accent] Laney found us a faster route.

[Vanzilla drives to that route]

GPS: Your new estimated arrival time is 4:52 PM.

[Lily high fives Laney. Just then, police sirens then sound, scaring Lily.]

Rita: [annoyed] Shoot, what now? [pulls over]

Cop: Ma'am, do you know your registration's expired? I'll have to write you a ticket for that. Get comfy; this could take a while.

Laney: We don't have a while!

[Lily looks out the window to see the cop writing Rita's ticket. She frantically looks around, and finds one of her blocks and blankie on the floor. She picks them up and places the block inside on the end of the blanket, then looks out the window again and spots the clutch of the officer's motorcycle. With one spin and a toss from her "weapon", she was able to move the clutch, sending the bike rolling down the hill.]

Cop: [Notices and chases after it] Ahh! My bike! Come back, precious!

Rita: Uh, thanks, officer, we'll take that as a warning! Whoo! [drives off]

GPS: Your new estimated arrival time is 4:58 PM.

Lily and Laney: Phew!

Laney: Nice one, Lily.

[Later, The Louds arrive at Auntie Pam's Parlor.]

GPS: You have arrived at your destination.

Lynn Sr.: [Looking through his pockets] Uh-oh.

Rita: Oh, honey, please tell me you didn't forget your wallet. This place only takes cash.

[Lily's eye twitches in anger. She digs through the seats, and holds up a twenty.]

Lynn Sr.: The emergency twenty! Lily, you've done it again!

Lily's siblings: [in unison] Yay, Lily!

[Everyone, but Rita and Lily, is eating ice cream.]

Rita: Hi, can I get one scoop of vanilla ice cream, please. [Lily babbles and points at the picture of the sundae.] Haha, okay, I guess she has other ideas. One sundae, please.

[Rita is given the sundae and sets Lily up to eat it. Lori has her phone out and recording Lily.]

Lori: You ready, Lily? Okay, guys, I'm recording.

Lynn Sr.: [teary-eyed] I can't believe this is the last time we get to introduce a little Loud to ice cream.

Lily's siblings: [in unison] Go, Lily!

[Just as Lily was about to take the first-ever bite of her sundae, she hears a bird call in the distance, and said bird swoops in front of her, having Lily drop the sundae and onto the grass, all the while happening in slow-motion. Lily looks at the remains and gets teary-eyed.]

Laney: What are the odds?

Rita: Oh no, sweetie, don't worry, we'll get you a new sundae. [knocks on the window] Uh, excuse me!

Luna: No dice, dudes, they close at five this week.

Lynn Sr.: What? Huh. You think they'd advertise something like that.

Laney: They did! Didn't you see the advertisement.

Lynn Sr.: No I didn't.

Rita: I guess we didn't see it. [Lily looks down for a second, and just like that, she starts crying uncontrollably then Rita picks her up] Oh, poor baby. Let's get you home.

[The parents and Lily walk off looking somber.]

[Everyone's in Vanzilla again and the siblings are trying to cheer up their baby sister.]

Lily's siblings, except Luan and Lana: Oh, it's okay, Lily.

Luan: Cheer up, Lily.

Lana: Oh, Lily...

Leni: I've never seen Lily look so sad.

Laney: That's because she's been denied her first ice cream. I remember how sad I was when I didn't get ice cream.

Luna: Yeah, you cried for hours. Your voice almost gave out.

Luan: You'll get that ice cream sundae, Lily, perhaps when the road isn't so rocky! Don't have a mint chip on your shoulder about this.

Lola: Luan, read the room!

[Just then, Lily sees Flip's Food and Fuel and tugs on Laney's scarf.]

Laney: What is it, Lily? [Lily points at the gas station store and Laney gasps] Wait a minute! Don't they have ice cream and other toppping snacks here. [Lily nods] Are you thinking what I'm thinking? [Lily smirks knowing what Laney's thinking] Do it.

[Lily then deliberately poops her diaper.]

Lucy: [sniffs] Oh, what is that? It smells like a thousand angry skunks.

[Lynn groans in disgust, followed by everyone else.]

Rita: [Smells it as well] Oh, somebody needs a diaper change, stat! [Turns the van around]

[Flip's Food and Fuel. Lynn Sr. carries Lily out of the bathroom and into the store.]

Lynn Sr.: [singing] A little powder, a little wipey, now you've got a fresh new diapie!

Laney: Showtime. [Clears her throat, then points at the freezer] Hey, look. There are some ice cream in this freezer.

Lola: [Sarcastic] Nothing gets by you, does it.

Laney: No, we can make our own sundae for Lily.

Lincoln: Hey, that's a great idea.

Lynn Sr.: What do you think, Lilster? Should we make you a new sundae here?

Lily: Yah! Yah! Yah!

[And so...]

Lynn Sr.: [Making a sundae for Lily.] One ice cream sundae coming up!

Lincoln: Don't forget the gummi bears! [puts them on]

Lynn: Whipped topping in the hizz-ouse! [puts it on]

Lola: And some yummy cookie crumbles!

[Lola puts a cookie on the bench, which Lana smashes with her spanner and Lily sprinkles the crumbs on.]

Laney: And don't forget the sprinkles! [Puts them on]

[Flip is seen with a bandaged face, speaking in a garbled way and putting chocolate sauce on, then he falls over.]

Rita: [takes the ice cream] Thanks, Flip, but you're not supposed to be talking after your wisdom teeth surgery. [Puts a cherry on top and hands it to Lily.]

Luan: You guys, she's about to try it!

[The family gasps excitingly as Lily takes a spoonful of her sundae and eats it, then she imagines herself once again in the pink sky, this time with her family, and is laughing. Back in reality, everyone's in Vanzilla again just as it was leaving Flip's. Lily has ice cream all over her face, giggling when she finally got her ice cream.]

Laney: So, Lily. How's it feel? [Lily sighed dreamily and slunk to the floor] Yep. That's exactly how I felt too.