107. Shop Girl

Shop Girl

It was a day like any other in the Loud House, for Laney it was a perfect time to go out and spend time with her siblings. An in this case, Leni was taking Laney out for a shopping spree.

[In Leni and Lori's room. We see Laney and Leni getting ready to go out]

Laney: Thanks again for letting me come with to to the mall today, Leni.

Leni: Totes, Laney. I can't wait to pick out a new scarf for you.

Laney: [wears her beret] What's wrong with my old scarf.

Leni: It needs a new color. Red is so last season. [picks up her purse and looks for something] Hey guys, anyone seen my bus pass?

Lori: [offscreen] Did you check your purse? [Leni checks her purse]

Leni: Thanks, I got it. Did someone take the credit card?

Lola: [offscreen] Check your purse. [Leni looks in her purse again]

Leni: Oh, right. Wait, my shopping list. [Laney rolls her eyes]

Lisa: [offscreen] The purse, woman! [Leni checks her purse one last time]

[Leni and Laney walk downstairs]

Leni: [Walking in] Culottes, jeans, pom-pom sweater.

Lincoln: Going shopping, Leni?

Leni: Not just shopping. Reiningers is having a huge two day, 25% off blowout sale, and I made up a dream shopping list for it.

Laney: Leni's taking me there pick out new clothes for me.

Leni: Yay, new wardrobes! [They Leave, as their siblings bid them ado.] Shoot, where did I put my purse?

Laney: Seriously?..

Leni's Siblings: Check your arms.

[They return to their breakfast. A few hours later, they are in their regular clothes eating lunch.]

Leni: [Offscreen] We're back.

[The siblings look in shock to see that their sisters have been beaten up as they are with their messed up clothes and bruised everywhere]

Lana: Are you okay, guys? Did you wrestle a bear?

Laney: Oh... I wish I was wreslting a bear! Because that would be less torturous then the massacare at Reiningers! [Grabs Lincoln] There were grabbing and pushing trampling! So much trampling! I tried to get some clothes but they just wanted it more!

Lynn: Wait, you didn't get any stuff?

Leni: Well, you know how shoppers can be. Sometimes, they can be a little grabby and pushy. And clawy and shovey.

Laney: And tramply! [lies down]

Lola: Ah, wait, did you let a bunch of greedy bargain hunters take your stuff?!

Laney: Pretty much, yeah.

Leni: Don't worry Laney. I'll just make new clothes with my old ones. Yay! [goes upstairs]

Lori: [Takes out the remote] Poor Leni. This always happens. She's too nice for her own good.

[Lola takes the remote from Lori and starts channel surfing.]

Laney: [gets up] Not her fault, you guys. Those shoppers back there are totally brutal! It's better just to let them have what they came for and not cross them.

Lana: And while we're on the subject, you can be a bit of a pushover too Laney.

Laney: What!?

Lori: It's literally true. You're even nicer then Leni.

Laney: So what, that doesn't make me a pushover.

Lori: Yes it does. Every time you wanted to read on the couch, one of us wants to use it and you just let us.

Laney: So? I was just being nice.

Lynn: Just like you were nice when you let someone cut in front of you in line every time you were waiting all those hours for the new John Ruby book to come out?

Laney: Those people we too excited. I can understand. John Ruby is a very popular book. And besides I still got the book... The next day when they restock.

Lola: That proves it, Laney! You're the biggest pushover in this family!

Lisa: Indeed, your submissive nature makes you easy prey. [Lucy takes the remote from Lola.] Much like the baby wildebeest of the serengeti.

Laney: Shut up! I can be as agressive as any of you! Watch! [Laney takes the remote from Lucy and she hisses at her. She then gives the remote back to Lucy frightened]

Lana: See? You and Leni both need to how to be a little tougher.

Lola: A little meaner. [Gets into a fist fight with Lucy over the remote.]

Lynn: [Joining the fight] More aggressive.

Lola: [To Lucy] I WANT THE REMOTE!

[The other sisters, except Lily and Laney, join the fight.]

Lori: Give me that remote back!

Lincoln: [Who also wasn't in the fight, but manages to grab the remote anyway and use it.] More like us.

Laney: I'm not sure I'm gonna like where this is going...

[Cuts to Leni sewing something in her room while her siblings come in pushing Laney]

Lincoln: Leni, how would you and Laney like to go back to that sale tomorrow, and get everything you wanted?

Leni: That's okay. I'm fine. [Shows what she's sewing] Look! I turned this nightgown into jeans! [realizes] Oh, wait. Now I don't have a nightgown. [Gets some other jeans] Ooooh, I can make one out of these other jeans! [The siblings shake their heads.]

Laney: Guys, this isn't necessary okay? I can be aggressive! I've been in this family for eight years and I've got around just fine.

Lisa: By not getting into any fights or quarrells and finding good compromises for them.

Luan: Yeah, you guys need to learn to stand up for yourselves. [sits Leni down]

Lana: Yeah, you don't wanna be wilted-beets in the spaghetti!

Lisa: Meh, close enough.

Lori: But don't worry, we're to teach you how to become more assertive, decisive people!

Leni: Well, okay. If you guys want. I'm just happy when you're happy.

Lincoln: [facepalms; sighs] We have a lot of work to do.

Laney: Guys, for the last time, I am fine!

Lola: Uh, no you're not, Laney. You need to learn to stop letting people push you around! You need to be more aggressive!

Laney: [more aggressive] I am not a PUSHOVER!

Lola: [impressed] Yeah! Like that!

Laney: [sighs; more calm] Fine, I'll do it. But only so I can go back to that sale tomorrow with enough costumes both regular and pig sized.

Lincoln: Pig sized?

Laney: For Squeals. We're planning a little play together.

Luan: Oh, really? Are you guys doing Ham-let? [laughs] Get it?

Laney: [groans] Let's just get this over with...

[Later, outside the bathroom.]

Lincoln: Tomorrow, you're going back to that mall as a new Leni. And the new Leni, doesn't let people cut ahead of her in line. [Leni nods, and Lincoln calls out to everyone.] Ten, hut.

[The other sisters are lined up along the wall, Luan approaches Leni.]

Luan: Now, you're number one in the bathroom line. Don't let anyone make you number two. [Laughs] Get it?

Leni: I don't. But don't worry! No one's gonna cut!

Lori: Alright, Laney. This is your chance to get in that bathroom. You go in there and fight Leni for first in line!

Laney: But she has the bathroom first and I can-

Lori: You can nothing! The new Laney doesn't care who's first in line unless it's her! [pushes Laney] Now go!

Laney: Uh... [acting] Hey! I need that bathroom! I drank a jumbo Flippee and I gotta let it loose!

Leni: Oh, you poor thing! Go right ahead!

Laney: Oh, thank you.

[The other siblings groan.]

Lola: Alright. Step aside and watch a pro do it. Lori, your assistance.

Lori: [clears throat; acting] I'm in a hurry, Lola! Let me cut!

[Lola growls; Lori tries to cut, but Lola starts attacking her.]

Lori: Ow! How are you so freakishly strong?!

Lola: [pinning Lori down] I HOPE YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF FLOOR!

Leni: [taking notes] Tackle, pin, catchphrase. Got it! [Laney looked on in concern]

[Cuts to out in the backyard. The kids, minus Leni, Laney, and Luna, pile some clothes on a table.]

Luna: Second lesson, the new Laney and Leni aren't afraid to go after what they want. [pointing to the table] There's some rockin' threads on that clearance table, but you got major peeps blockin' your way. What are you gonna do, dudes?

Laney: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do! I'm gonna go in there and get what I want!

Leni: Yeah!

[The two march up to the table with serious looks on her faces]

Laney: Hey, you! Get out of our way!

Lynn: [Glares at Laney; aggressively] Why don't you make me?!

Laney: [frightened] Oh! Uh, no thanks. I don't want any trouble... [walks away]

Luna: [groans] Let's see if Lens can do any better.

Leni: [Politely taps Lynn on the shoulder.] So sorry, would you mind moving? [Tries to find an opening] No? I can wait until your ready. [Walks away, as her siblings at the table sigh]

Luna: [Pushes Leni back. And to Lynn.] Yo, LJ, show her how it's done.

Lynn: With pleasure. [Runs off, and returns wearing her football helmet.] Hut, hut. [paints black lines on her face.] Take a hike! [Rampages her siblings like football, spins a sweater over her head to celebrate, and starts doing a victory dance on it, much to Lori's charging.]

Lori: Hey! Bobby gave me that sweater! [Shoots Lynn a dirty look.]

Leni: [Taking notes] Run, block, do a dance. Got it!

[Cuts to the kitchen.]

Lucy: Third lesson, protecting your property. [Hands Leni a phone charger, which Leni takes.] The new Leni doesn't let greedy shoppers steal her stuff.

Lincoln: And the new Laney takes what's hers.

Lana: That phone charger is the only working one in the house. Your goal is to hold onto it, no matter what.

Leni: [Still missing the point of these training sessions, gets up.] Oh, it's okay, [gives Lana the charger] I can use the land line.

Leni's Siblings (Minus Laney): [Annoyed] Leni, no! [put her back in the chair.]

Lana: Put yourself first!

Laney: That's not a good moral!

Lori: [Takes the charger, sighs, and goes to the other side of the kitchen.] I'll show you how it's done. I've been protecting my junk from you guys for seventeen years. [wraps the charger around her under arm.] The key is to use a good, firm armpit grip. [To Laney] Alright, come at me.

Laney: Listen! Enough is enough. All your doing is making us be as selfish and greedy as you guys! And I won't be a part of this anymore! I'm out of here! [she exits the kitchen]

Lori: Typical, Laney. Always chickening out when the going gets tough. [Laney stops mid exit and turns around]

Laney: What did you say...

Lori: I'm saying you've gone soft, you're too nice and kind to ever get what you want.

Laney: [Slowly gets angry] I. Am. Not. A. Pushover!

Lola: Yes you are! You're nothing but a big nice softie.

Laney: [angry] No I'm not!

Lori: Yes you are!

Laney: Stop it!

Lori: But it's true!

Laney: [Angry] NO IT'S NOT!

Lori: Yes it is...

[Laney growls and began to think back all of her sibling said to her previously]

Lola: You're the biggest pushover in this family...

Lisa: You're submersive nature make you easy prey...

Lori: Always chickening out...

Lola: You're nothing but a big nice softie...

[Laney couldn't take it anymore. She grew so angry she screamed at the top of her lungs and attacked Lori]

Laney: [furious] GIVE ME THAT CHARGER! [She brutally fought Lori for the charger as she protected what's hers.]

Leni: [Taking notes] Armpit tuck, fall on floor, protect vital organs. [Leaves without saying anything else.]

[The fight cloud then stops to see that Laney came out with the charger in her hand and Lori on the floor bruised and tattered. The other siblings applauded at Laney's performance]

Lincoln: Laney that was awesome!

Lana: I knew you had it in ya!

Lola: She gets that from me you know.

Lincoln: So how do you feel, sis?

Laney: I... feel great actually. Like I finally got what I wanted after all. Ha! I feel like I can take on all the shoppers! [Lori weakily got up]

Lori: That's the spirit! Ow. Got it yet, Leni? [The siblings notice that Leni wasn't around] Leni?

[The next day, Leni, Laney, and her siblings are waiting in the line at Reiningers.]

Leni: Thank you guys for all of your help. I'm so excited about the new Leni! Just one question: Where did the old Leni go?

[Just then, Miguel shoves in front of Leni and Laney like they're not even there. Her siblings are not happy.]

Luna: Hey dude! Bogus!

Laney: Hey! No one takes our spot and lives! [Leni and Laney attack him the same way Lola did to Lori the day before and pin him to the ground.]

Leni: I hope you like the taste of flan! [Turns to her astonished siblings.] Was it 'flan' or 'floor'? I heard flan.

Laney: I'm pretty sure it was 'floor'.

Lola: Doesn't matter. You're queens!

[The guy runs away. Meanwhile, one of the store employees nervously opens the doors, and everyone starts rushing in. Leni and Laney look at each other with determination and rushes in. Leni makes her way to a swimsuit section, but sees a bunch of other woman taking the swimsuits.]

Leni: Hut, Hut. Take a hike!

[Leni shoves the women out of her way to reach the swimsuits. She gets one and starts doing a dance, with Lincoln and Lynn joining in.]

Lynn: Woo! All day long, baby!

[Meanwhile, Laney searches for costumes at a store and sees two girls going for it. Laney angrily charges at them]

Laney: Move it! [shoves the girls out of the way and and grabs the costumes] Yeah! [She then sees the crowd of angry kids in front of her] Y'all want some of this!? [The kids attack and Laney took on all of them]

[Meanwhile, Leni grabs a sweater of the rack, and some lady tries to steal it from her, but Leni grabs it.]

Leni: [Struggling] Hey! It's mine! Don't even think about it! [Hip checks the lady into a pile of clothes]

[Cuts to a montage of Leni and Laney grabbing clothes before others could get to them and puts them in her bag. The sibings watch Leni dragging two girls for a sweater, who also has a grip on it, but Leni takes it from them. The girls start attacking Leni, but she ends up winning and is twirling the sweater around.]

Leni and Laney's Siblings: Yaaaay!

[Leni and Laney are now at the check-out line. Her siblings walk over.]

Luna: You guys rocked!

Luan: Yay, Leni!

Lynn: Way to go, Laney!

Lana: You crushed it!

Laney: Thanks guys. Hard to believe I could get any of my shopping done without your help.

Lynn: Ah, we gotta celebrate. Pretzels and sodas. On Lincoln.

Lincoln: Wait, why me?

Leni: Thanks, Lincoln. Meet you guys at the food court.

[The siblings leave while a guy cuts in front of her, the obnoxious guy who cut in front of her earlier addresses this.]

Obnoxious Guy: I wouldn't do that. [points to Leni and Laney]

[The guy who just cut Leni turns around, sees Leni preparing to bull charge him, and makes a run for it, Leni smiles at this and high fives Laney, while the obnoxious guy just keeps to himself. Cut to the siblings at the food court.]

Luan: Wow. Leni and Laney really malled the competition.

Lucy: People are going to think twice before crossing them.

Lola: We changed their lives. [raises her soda] To us!

Siblings: To us! [clink their sodas together]

[Cuts back to Leni and Laney.]

Laney: Oh, you're right Leni. [goes through her clothes] This blue scarf is perfect for me!

Leni: I know right! You look totes adorbs!

[Laney hears crying from the distance]

Laney: Huh? [She looks over and sees a little girl about her age crying with her mother there to comfort her]

Little Girl's Mother: I'm sorry you didn't get that dress you wanted, sweetie.

Little Girl: It's not just that! [sniffs] Some mean girl pushed me and called me a bozo!

[Laney started to look extremely guilty and regretted what she did]

Laney: Oh my goodness, what have I done? I've tried to be assertive and became a big bully. I have to make this right. Leni? Hold my place in line for me okay?

Leni: Okay, Laney.

[Laney leaves her spot in line with her bag and runs up to the little girl]

Little Girl: Ah! There she is! [hides behind her mother] Don't let her get me, mommy!

Laney: No wait! Let me explain!

Little Girl's Mother: Now you listen here! You have no right to push around my daughter like that!

Laney: I know. And I'm really sorry! I didn't mean any harm. It's just that my siblings wanted to teach me how to be aggressive and I was completely out of control. [Laney goes into her bag and pulls out a dress] I belive this will make up for it.

Little Girl: [gasps] My dress! [takes it from Laney] Thank you!

Laney: You're welcome.

[Meanwhile, back at the line]

Leni: [going through her clothes] Hmm. [pulls out a top] This top is perfect for a cozy Saturday. [pulls out the sweater] And this sweater will look so good with my new nightgown jeans. [puts it back]

Mrs. Parker: Are you sure you don't have any more of those polka-dot swimsuits? [The clerk shakes her head.] That's all my granddaughter wants. Well, that and for me to live forever but I can't promise that.

Leni: [Seeing that she had one, calls to Mrs. Parker.] Here! [Mrs. Parker walks up to her, and Leni takes her suit out.] You should take mine.

Mrs. Parker: Oh! [Takes it] You angel. Amy will be so happy.

[Mrs. Parker walks off, and another woman walks past but notices Leni's sweater.]

Woman: [Admirers the sweater] That sweater is so cute, where'd you get it?

Leni: I think this was the last one.

Woman: [Disappointed] Oh, it's hard finding sweaters that won't give me what my doctor calls 'Category Five Rashes'. [Laughs] That's me, allergic to almost every fabric. [Starts off] Well, enjoy it.

Leni: Wait! I can't imagine how awful that would be, [offers her the sweater] here, take mine.

Woman: [Happy] Aw, that is so sweet. [Takes the sweater] Thank you.

[Just then a guy runs past and drops his credit card. Leni picks it up.]

Leni: [to the guy] Excuse me, is your name "American Bank"?

Tie Guy: [comes back] Oh my stars, I am so stressed about finding a tie for my anniversary, that I must've dropped it! [Leni gives it back to him.] 25 years, it's a big one.

Leni: You know, I'd be glad to help you.

Tie Guy: But you'd lose your place in line.

Leni: [grabs her bag and gets out of the line.] That's okay. This is more important.

[She and the guy leave to find a tie. Meanwhile back at the food court...]

Lincoln: [drinking his soda] Yep. Today could be the start of a whole new life for Leni.

[Starts fantasizing about Leni's future. Starting with her being the CEO of a major fashion corporation, and giving a presentation.]

Leni: The ABCs of being a CEO.

[Next, fantasy Leni is signing a books titled "Taste the Flan" written by herself. Then they fantasize Leni being on a talk show.]

Interviewer: Ms. Loud, you're the head of a fashion company, the best-selling author of 'Taste the Flan', and a role model for young women. To what do you attribute your success?

Leni: Well, I really owe it all to my siblings, see, there was this two-day blowout sale...

[End Fantasy]

Lola: And just imagine what Laney's future would look like...

[They then start to fantasize Laney's future. Where she has become a famous action movie star, leading in many action movies. In one movie adult Laney was seen shooting at aliens]

Laney: Smell you later. [throws a bomb at one of the aliens]

[Next, she is seen signing autographs outside the movie theater. Then they fantasize her in a talk show]

Talk Show Host: Laney Loud, you're the stunning actress of "Zombie Bugs from Mars" and "Aliens in the Resturant". And you're a role model for females everywhere. Tell us, what is the reason for all of your success?

Laney: Well I couldn't have been so famous without my siblings. You see there was this blowout sale at Reiningers...

[The siblings continue fantasizing, completely unaware of what Leni and Laney are doing back at Reiningers.]

Leni: [Giving a dress to a teen girl] Problem solved, now you'll have something to wear to the dance. [They hug]

[Laney gives another girl her age a top hat]

Laney: There you go! You'll look so lovely in that hat.

[Next, Leni gives a woman a blouse.]

Leni: You came all the way from Cheboygan for a flutter sleeve blouse? You should have it.

Laney: [Gives a girl a skirt] Don't worry, I have closet full of these.

Leni: [Giving some guy her culottes.] Please, there'll be other culottes.

Laney: [Gives a girl some leggings] I insist you take these leggings.

Leni: [Giving a lady some pants.] Send me a picture, I wanna see how those gaucho pants look in you.

[Leni and Laney finally get to the front of the line, and Leni puts the only thing she has left on the counter.]

Cashier: This is a great find. I wish I had time to browse the racks.

Leni: Oh, well, why don't you take it?

Cashier: Oh, oh, I couldn't do that, this is all you have and you've been waiting in line for so long.

Leni: It's okay, I wouldn't even be shopping here, if it weren't for people like you working so hard.

[Leaves, while the cashier smiles]

Laney: That was a good thing you did Leni.

Leni: Thanks, Laney. You want to go next?

Laney: No thanks. I already gave away all mine.

[As the two leave, Leni gives the obnoxious guy who cut in front of her earlier a salute, he yelps and takes cover. Meanwhile, back at the food court...]

Lola: No, the castle Leni's gonna live in, will have three swimming pools!

Lincoln: Oh, and a chocolate fountain!

Lana: A zoo!

Luna: And Laney's girl friend will be totally shredded!

Lola: [noticing Leni and Laney] There they are!

Leni: [as her siblings cheer] Hey, you guys!

Lincoln: [noticing something] Uh, guys, where are your bags?

Laney: Uh, yeah. About that.. We kinda gave away all our stuff.

Lynn: What?! After all our training?!

Lincoln: What happened to the new Leni and Laney!?

Leni: She wasn't really me. I'm sorry, you guys. It did feel good to get what I wanted, but it felt even better to give other people what they wanted.

Laney: And to be honest the new Laney wasn't fitting well with me. I was so aggressive and mean I've became a complete jerk. I actually hurt a child today! Face it! It's just not me to be mean.

Luan: Guys, we're worried about you. How are you going to make it in life if you keep putting yourself last?

Lori: [holds up her phone; Bobby is on the other line.] Boo-Boo Bear and I cannot support you forever.

Laney: I don't think you guys understand but putting yourself last can actually be a good thing.

Lola: Oh yeah? And exactly how can it be a good thing?

Mrs. Parker: [Walks up to Leni] Oh, there you are, dear! [holds up a present] I got you a little something to say thanks.

Leni: [takes the present] Awwww, you shouldn't have! I hope your granddaughter loves the suit. [Laney smirks and gestures how Leni was rewarded for her good deed]

Lola: Presents are nice, but you know what's nicer? All those clothes you guys gave away!

[Just then, the little girl from earlier in her dress came up to Laney]

Little Girl: Laney! Laney!

Laney: Aw! You look so good in that dress!

Little Girl: Thank you! I want to give you something! [Gives Laney a blue scarf]

Laney: [gasps] For me? [The little girl nodded] Thank you!

Lynn: Yeah, yeah. The scarf was great. But it would've been better if you bought it!

[Just then, a waiter comes in with a cart of fries.]

Waiter: Excuse me, Miss, we have the number three combo, with fries, for everyone in your party, courtesy of that woman over there.

[The woman from before waves to Leni, and gestures to the sweater Leni gave her.]

Leni: [Applauding, while Lola takes the fries.] Yay! You look great! No rashes.

[Just then, the tie guy and his wife walk up to Leni.]

Tie Guy's Wife: Excuse me, Miss. [Her husband loves the tie] Thank you so much for helping my hubby, he has never looked so cute.

Tie Guy: [Pulls out a gift card] We got you a gift card to the fro-yo shop.

Leni: That's so sweet of you, that's my favorite place. [The lovely couple starts off.] Happy anniversary Mr. and Mrs. Bank.

[The couple has no clue what that means.]

Lori: Leni, it's great that all these people are doing nice things for you, but I still think it's more important that you-

Ms. Carmichael: [Walks up to Leni and shakes her hand.] Excuse me, I wanted to meet you. I'm Ms. Carmichael, I'm the manager of Reiningers, and I've been hearing such wonderful things about you. You know, we could use a sales employee with great customer service skills.

Leni: Great, let me think about it, and get back to you with some names. [Her siblings clear their throats and gesture to her, and Leni realizes.] Oh, you mean me.

Ms. Carmichael: Hours are flexible, and employees get a fifty percent discount on all merchandise.

Leni: [Touched] It's like there's a blowout sale happening in my heart.

Ms. Carmichael: I'll take that as a yes. [Leni's siblings smile] Stop by whenever to fill out paperwork.

Leni: [As she and Ms. Carmichael leave.] I'll see you back at home guys.

Laney: Now, do you get it?

Lincoln: We sure do. We were so wrong about you and Leni.

Lynn: [Eating her fries] Yeah, guess we don't have to worry about you guys after all.

Lola: [Looking at her fries] Hmm, if being nice does that much for Leni and Laney, I wonder what it could do for me. [She gets up from her seat holding her fries and walks up to the obnoxious guy.] Hey, mister? How would you like my fries?

Obnoxious Guy: Oh, no thank you. I'm trying to watch my cholesterol.

Lola: Go ahead. Take them.

Obnoxious Guy: No, really. I'm good.

Lola: [Threateningly] TAKE THE FRIES!

Obnoxious Guy: [Screams] What is up with this mall?! [As he runs off in fear, Lola glares at him.]

Lincoln: Maybe stick to what you know, Lola.

Laney: One thing's for sure. Some people just never change.