Chapter Fourteen

Noel doesn't stop running until she reaches the cottage, breaking through the door and marching straight back to her room. As soon as the door is closed, she stands in the middle of the room and takes a massive breath, as if trying to suck back all the tears gathering in her eyes.

She tries to reason with the two opposing sides quarrelling inside her. One side wants to rationalize how Harken treated her and what he said to her, trying to find justification for his hurtful and overbearing actions since this morning, but the other side of her is arguing that there is none.

He went overboard went he called her easy. She could ignore the way he was acting before because she could justify it by thinking he is just looking out for her.

But all she and Priscilla were doing was standing there, splashing water at each other. If anything, she was worried guys might think they were childish. It wasn't like they were trying to act all cute and sexy while splashing each other like in a Bay Watch movie, they were acting like idiots and didn't think about how they might look.

Until he barged in. What about that made her look easy to him? Her head starts to ache just as a knock comes at the door.

"If that's Harken, fuck off. If that's Priscilla, say so," she calls out.

The door opens and Priscilla sticks her bangle-covered wrist through the door.

"It's just me, Nole." She pops her head out and gives her a timid smile. When she sees Noel relax she walks over and hugs her, walking her over to the bed and sitting them down.

"I know you don't believe what he said. You're just upset because you're confused why he said it, right?" she asks, patting Noel's head in the usual motherly manner she always does when trying to comfort her friend, knowing she has always craved that motherly affection and doesn't get any from her father.

"You know me so well," Noel chuckles, not realizing tears have started to gather in her eyes again. "Honestly, I shouldn't be that upset. This is how he's always been, since the first day I met him, he's been nothing but an ass to me every moment he can."

"He's been acting strange ever since you guys decided to reconcile whatever tension was between you and become friendlier towards each other. You've clearly acted as nothing more than a friend to him, but he has gone between these weird phases of a father and a boyfriend. To be honest, quite a few people in school have noticed it, and we all think it's obvious Harken has feelings towards you but clearly doesn't understand them."

Noel wants to cover herself with the covers and disappear, now knowing that probably half the school is aware of her extremely weird relationship with Harken, and she can only imagine what they are saying and thinking about them.

But she also seriously considers Priscilla's words. Even Noel has picked up a few times that Harken might have some feelings towards her, the most significant sign being the fact that he hasn't left her side in weeks, and the way he finds every opportunity to kiss her cheek or chase off any guy that even looks at her. It would also explain, like Priscilla also thinks, why he has been acting so hot and cold, even more than before towards her.

"I honestly don't know what to think right now. I came out here to have a fun week and attempt to expand my comfort zone by meeting someone cute, at the very least. Whatever Harken's issue is, he can figure it out on his own," Noel says and walks over to the dresser and fetches a pair of black jogging pants and her favourite sweater, a CCA sweater from her mother that she was able to keep before they donated the rest of her clothing, both her and her dad unable to look at them.

"Is there anything happening tonight?" Noel asks, walking into the bathroom and closing the door halfway to change out of her bathing suit.

"I think I heard Karl mentioning something to a few people about a bonfire, and it's only natural to assume with an unsupervised Karl, there will be alcohol and lots of it. A party to celebrate our first night in Miami, though I imagine this whole week is going to be one big party."

Noel wonders if there will be any strangers attending as well, wandering over from the neighbouring cottages, having seen a few strange faces at the beach.

"I'm going to take another shower then, I smell the ocean and it isn't as pleasant as I thought," Noel says and turns on the shower. When she hears her bedroom door close, she closes the bathroom door and turns towards the shower, trying to psyche herself up to be sociable and involved tonight, but her mind is instead plagued with thoughts of Harken and their argument.

They're going to have to face each other at the bonfire later. She wonders how he is going to act this time, either ignoring her or acting as if nothing happened between them. Regardless, she isn't going to accept either option this time.

After showering and changing into her comfy clothes, she digs out the sketchbook and pencils she picked up from La Gallerie a while ago, never having the chance or capacity to attempt to use them either. She has a couple more hours before the sun starts to set and the bonfire party will most likely start around sunset, so she occupies her time by trying out her first sketch.

She doesn't need to think hard about what she wants to draw. Although she is angry at him right now, Harken is the perfect model for her to use for her first attempt at a profile sketch. With his facial features alone, she is glad she bought coloured pencils as well, only wishing she got a chance to observe all the colourful and black-inked tattoos covering his arms and chest, from the small glances she got on the beach.

That would be a challenge she is willing to take but doesn't imagine she will ever get that chance. Just picturing a scene similar to Jack sketching Rose from the Titanic, just with a lot more clothes, is enough to make her cringe slightly.

Before she knows it, she is halfway through the finishing shading when Priscilla knocks on her door before walking in.

"You ready to go? Everyone is pretty much in the kitchen eating or outside around the fire," she says.

Noel looks out the window, shocked to see it's already night, the sun has long set, and she wasn't disrupted once by Harken. Looks like he is going to choose to ignore her, or he would've sought her out by now.

Closing her sketchbook, she shoves it back into her bag before joining Priscilla and wandering downstairs. They go into the kitchen and grab a plate with a burger each, dressing it however they like and grabbing a beer before heading outside.

"So, how do you think Harken is going to be around you now after that? Did he come and see you at all after?" Priscilla asks, taking a large bite of her burger. Noel always loved how she could play both the pretty and messy girl simultaneously, pulling both looks off perfectly.

"No, he didn't. I'm thinking he is just going to ignore me for the night and act like nothing happened tomorrow, letting himself cool off," Noel says, taking a look around the large backyard patio, set with a fully equipped gazebo and industrial barbeque, hot tub built into the deck foundation and lounge area with three cream coloured couches and matching coffee table.

"Wow, this place is amazing," she gasps.

Priscilla nudges her side. "Uh, Nole?"

"What, what's wrong?"

Her friend just tugs her to stand where she just was, pointing directly in front of them towards the chairs gathered around the fire.

"You were expecting him to ignore you, right?" Priscilla mutters before clucking her tongue. "Well, sure looks like he's trying to act like you don't exist."

Noel peers through the bright light of the fire towards the shadows next to him, spotting out what looks like the body of Harken – the entire front of him enveloped in a petite blonde as she covers his lap, and her face covers him in a heavy make-out session.

She feels the tips of her fingers go cold and her ears block, leaving nothing but the pounding of her heart.

Noel had prepared herself to be ignored or treated indifferently.

She wasn't expecting this. The feeling she gets from watching this scene isn't the same as the one she got when watching Amy Stone cling to Harken at the arcade or Karl's party, that was pure annoyance.

She doesn't have to guess this new feeling. It's jealousy, she is jealous and angry that Harken can mess with her feelings for weeks, then suddenly hint at her acting like a slut before dropping one on his lap to make out with, rather than trying to talk things out.

A huge lump forms in her throat, causing her to hiccup as she tries to swallow it.

"Are you okay, Nole?" Priscilla asks with a sympathetic smile.

Noel shakes her head. "I'm not sure, I don't think so, though."

Turning away from the scene, she grabs Priscilla's hand and walks over to the other side of the fire, as far away from Harken and his bimbo as she can. They sit down with their food and crack open their beers, Noel practically downing the whole thing in one swing before Priscilla stopped her.

"Slow down, girl, we just sat down. I don't want to have to get up and get your drunk ass another one," she teases, but the look of concern won't leave her eyes.

"No worries there."

A beer is suddenly thrust in front of Noel's face, and she looks up to see a rather cute-looking guy, looking to be a few years older than her maybe, with baby blue eyes and boyish features which make him appear younger. Noel can tell he is older by the way he carries himself, it's similar to the feeling she gets when around Abel and Isaac.

"Oh, thank you, right on time," she giggles and takes the beer from him. She remembers the words Isaac from the last party about never accepting anything open and although her head is already becoming a little hazy from downing her other beer so quickly on an empty stomach, she makes sure the top is a twist-off cap before opening it.

"Mind if I join you guys? I'm not too familiar with anyone here other than Karl and Nolan, I'm assuming you're their friends, right?" he asks and points to the empty chair next to Noel.

"We don't mind at all, and yes we're friends of his from school, we were invited up by his family to spend our winter break here. How do you know them? I don't recognize you from our school," Noel asks, amazed at how comfortable and free she feels talking to this stranger.

He runs a hand through his tussled blonde hair, looking slightly embarrassed.

"I live in California actually, my parents also have a summer cottage up here, we're actually just next door," he says and points over to the thick, dense forest that separates them from the other private property, a small walking trail large enough for at least a four-wheeler or bike the only guide through it.

"I'm Kyle, by the way, and sorry to come over so suddenly but I noticed your sweater. Since you just said you are still in high school, does that mean it belongs to like a sibling or boyfriend maybe?"

Noel can't help but laugh at his attempt of asking her if she is single without directly asking, getting a clear tell of his sense of manners.

Unlike Harken, who doesn't even know the definition of manners.

She stops herself, wondering why her mind chose this moment to spring him up, scolding herself silently for even bothering to think about him right now.

"Not really, it belonged to my mom, actually."

Kyle's face suddenly falls, a deep frown setting on his cute face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up a sensitive topic."

Noel shakes her head and smiles softly at him. "Please, don't apologize, there is nothing, but good memories attached to this sweater, it's why I still have it."

His face instantly brightens back to the cheery smile from before, even though she never confirmed nor denied if she has a boyfriend.

"How do you know about the college?" she asks him.

Priscilla feels like a complete third wheel at this point and silently sneaks off, crossing her fingers and sending a silent prayer for her dear Noel and the first decent guy she has met.

"I actually started my first year there a few months ago, and if you're looking for some insight, it's everything you're probably hoping it to be. I assume you've heard many stories from the place anyway. I've been studying digital design, a new program introduced a few years ago and it's been nothing but mind-blowing," Kyle rants, his eyes lighting up.

They get into a deep conversation about the college and their different passions for art, drowning everything and everyone out around them so much that she doesn't feel the heated glare burning hotter than the fire in front of them, coming from the other side as Harken stares down the couple chatting intimately.

Harken didn't know how to get rid of his irritation and anger towards himself for having let his personal past feelings for Noel to cloud his judgement and cause a major fuck up again. He wasn't sure if he should try and talk to her right after or give her space first, debating the entire time as he paced the bottom of the stairs to the third floor.

In the end, he decided to give her space and let Priscilla do her work in calming Noel down, so he has a better chance of getting her to talk to him. She spent the remainder of the evening upstairs, with Harken ending up grabbing a beer and wandering outside to watch as they set up the bonfire and barbeque, that one beer quickly turning into another, and then another.

Before he knew it, he was 6 beers deep by the time the party had really started, everyone, gathering around the fire and food. But no matter how many drinks he keeps slamming back, he can't seem to feel any of it, his thoughts stuck on Noel.

He knows he really messed up this time, and it might not be as easy as it was when she found out he was pretending to be Nolan. At that time, he didn't think about whether he should give her space or not and just took off after her. He isn't sure what makes this time different, maybe because he has no reason or explanation for what he said.

He knows he has to try and stop thinking about Noel as anything more than friends, or his hopes are just going to get crushed again, the only fool this time being him. So far, he has tried just being nice to her and hanging out as friends but ended up spending every waking hour with her, only intensifying his feelings it seems.

The only other solution he can think of is to distract himself and replace her in his mind. He never had the chance to experience any sort of relationship with Noel, and although the kiss on top of the water tower has been engraved into his memory ever since, it's just a kiss. He was lucky enough to get that.

As if God is encouraging him to move on, a slender blonde walks up to him with a curvy, flirtatious smile on her face.

"Hey handsome, you're not from around here," she says, and he's pleased by the fact that her voice doesn't make him cringe, but the heavy smell of her perfume is a little suffocating.

"How unlucky of me, I would've met a beauty like you sooner," he says, the words tumbling out of his mouth like glass, his mouth tasting bad after uttering them, but he pushes past the taste. He grabs her hand and guides her to sit on his lap, realizing just how slender she really is. She isn't any different from any other girl he has been with, never one to care about a woman's size particularly, but it doesn't feel right having her on his lap.

He knows the reason why, but he denies even the thought of it, reminding himself the main reason at the moment; to distract himself from Noel.

As he focuses on the blonde in his lap, the lingering thoughts of Noel finally filtering out of his head, he starts to feel the effects of the many beers he has downed in such a short time. He pulls the girl down towards him, kissing her without thought, trying not to flinch away when he gets a taste of the thick lipstick she is wearing and the smell of heavy makeup powder.

Fighting through it, he tries to lose his hazy mind in the heavy make-out session that has started between them, but everything in him is screaming it feels dirty and wrong, despite her being rather into it.

He doesn't have to see where Noel is to know that she is close, feeling the intense pressure he always feels whenever he is in her presence like his body is already riddled with her and has no choice but to reach for her every time she is near.

Pulling his mouth away from the blonde he scans the faces around the bonfire, before spotting out Noel and Priscilla sitting across from him to the side a little. Next to Noel is a guy Harken has never seen before and definitely not someone from their school, looking like he might be around Abel's age or older.

He is chatting away animatedly with Noel, grins plastered on their faces as they laugh about something, Noel even tossing her head back and clumsily spilling her beer on the ground, causing them to laugh even harder.

Every giggle out of her mouth feels like daggers in his chest, driving the rush of anger that washes through him. He clenches the armrests and glares in their direction, with the irritating thought of knowing there isn't anything he can do about it. He wants to run over there and rip Noel away from him, dragging her away somewhere secret so he can just unleash all the hidden feelings and urges he has kept cooped up for months.

But this is the exact reason Noel came out here. To meet someone and step out of her comfort zone. Harken even promised to help her, yet all he's done is ruin her experience here.

"Is everything alright? Why did you stop?" the girl in his lap purrs, running a hand down his chest. He almost forgot about her, but his mood is completely soured.

"Sorry, not in the mood anymore," he mutters and lifts her off his lap to stand up. He walks away from the fire to grab another beer from the fridge inside, thankful everyone seems to have cleared out and he can be alone for a few minutes.

Just when he thought he escaped his momentary hell, Noel walks through the side door, stumbling slightly as she tries to walk a straight line. He can't fight the smile that tugs at his lips as he watches her wobble her way through the living room towards the kitchen, not noticing him standing there yet.

"Oh, shit," she says when she finally looks up and spots him leaning against the counter. "What are you doing in here?"

He immediately opens his mouth to say something snarky to bring up her conversation with the random guy, but clamps his mouth shut, catching himself before he says something he knows he will regret.

"Just wanted a breather, and outside is pretty crowded at the moment," he says instead, before shoving the beer bottle in his face to take a big swig and occupy his mouth.

"Yeah, I'd need a breather after sucking face for so long too."

Harken sputters mid-gulp, spitting out whatever is left in his mouth.

"You saw that?" he asks, quickly realizing how dumb a question that is.

She rolls her eyes. "Of course, I did. Who could ignore that loving display of affection between you and..." she trails off, hinting at the fact that he probably doesn't even know her name.

"Damn, Little Red, that's pretty harsh coming from you."

"Oh, so it's Little Red again? What happened to being a slut? I don't remember Little Red Riding Hood ever being called 'easy' before. The big bad wolf saved her the months of torment and went straight for the kill."

Harken flinches at her sharp tone, every word out of her mouth like drops of acid seeping into his heart.

"You have every right to be mad at me, Little Red, but would apologize even make a difference at this point? I can't tell you why I did it," he says, unable to meet her icy gaze.

"Why the hell can't you? Don't you think that kind of behaviour should come with an explanation?"

"Because I don't even know why I did it! What do you want me to say, Noel? I'm a fucking idiot and I don't think, ever! I thought you would've figured that out by now," he cries, the anger from before rising like vile in his throat.

She doesn't even flinch away from him like before, standing as still as a statue with her arms crossed against her chest, gripping the empty bottle in her hand. She looks as if she is expecting him to say something more, but there isn't anything else he can say.

What can I even say to save my ass right now? I've loved you since junior year, I hated you at first and then I just wanted to be friends, but now I can't see you with any other guy?

He shakes his head and laughs to himself. Yeah, that would definitely save him.

"I'm sorry, I don't need to tell you how bad I am at controlling my anger. If you're looking for the secret reason I'm keeping from you, I don't have one. I saw the way the other guys were looking at you and Priscilla, and I didn't like it. My anger got the best of me when you started arguing back and I said the first thing that popped into my head to justify my actions, I didn't think about what I was actually saying," he says, praying it's the least he can say to convince her it wasn't intentional and move past all of this so he can get rid of the turmoil in his stomach.

She remains silent, staring at him with glazed-over eyes. When he looks closer, he notices she isn't actually focused on him anymore, and her face looks pretty pale.

"Little Red, are you doing alright?" he asks and takes slow steps toward her.

At the sound of his voice, her eyes drag towards his, bloodshot and cloudy, it's clear whatever alcohol she just rushed into her low tolerance system has finally hit her, and all at once it seems.

"I don't feel so good," she mutters. Her eyes start to flutter a little and before she has the chance to lean backwards, Harken is behind her to hold her up.

"God damn, Little Red. Just how much did you drink?"

Harken picks her up, careful not to move her too much and carries her towards the stairs, doing the same as he walks up to the first bathroom he can spot and brings her inside. Placing her in front of the toilet, he sits back behind her and observes as she leans her palms against the seat.

"Why did you bring me here?" she mumbles, starting to slur her words slightly.

Harken chuckles, unable to fight the urge and reaches out to brush a few strands of hair out of her face and tuck them behind her ear.

"That's kind of a stupid question. Where does one normally go when they're about to puke?"

She just grunts in response. Harken has never seen this side of Noel and can assume this is her first time getting this drunk. He can't help but think he is responsible, knowing now she saw the lovely scene between him and the random blonde earlier. He was barely paying attention to himself at that time, he doesn't remember what they could have looked like to others, but imagines it wasn't pretty regardless.

The least he can do is help her through getting it out of her system, since Priscilla seems to be MIA at the moment, most likely disappearing to give Noel space with the guy she was talking to.

"Who was that guy?" he asks her, taking advantage of her drunken state.

She smirks. "Why, are you jealous? He's pretty cute, right?"

Harken wants to make another snarky comment but stops himself again, giving himself a small pat on the back for keeping it together so long.

"I didn't get a good look at him, but you guys seem to be having a good conversation, that's all."

She scrunches up her face in disbelief. "Wasn't expecting you to say that."

"Expecting me to hate on him? I'm not always an asshole, Little Red."

"You're not an asshole, Harken, you're just weird," she mutters, closing the toilet lid and leaning her cheek against it, her eyes fluttering from how cool it feels.

"Like that's any better," he teases. Reaching his hand out, he lifts her head a little and puts his palm underneath her cheek. "I don't want to imagine what is on this lid," he comments.

Noel giggles, her lips stretching into a breathtaking smile.

"See? No other guy would do this for me," she says.

He smiles bitterly. "Not even Bay Watch boy?"

Harken bites his tongue after the words slip out of his mouth, peeking at Noel in hopes that he hasn't ruined the moment with his loudmouth.

Thankfully she just smiles lazily at him.

"His name is Kyle, and I know what you're already thinking, but I'm not being stupid. We were talking about college, turns out he's a first-year student at CCA, and he was reassuring me that I'll likely get in since I've been really worried the closer we get to the end of the year with nothing arriving from them."

The jealousy from before melts away, and he is reminded of the distance that stands between them and the fact that once they graduate, nothing is keeping them together.

Of course, Noel is going to be accepted into the college she wants, there's no way anyone can doubt her creative talent. She's barely 18 and has people wanting to buy her art already. Once that happens, she will graduate and move off to California, to be with people like Kyle.

Whereas Harken doesn't have anywhere to go, never belonging in any place or being accepted by anyone. It's a reality he has faced for as long as he can remember, numbing himself the more it repeated until he felt nothing when turned or chased away.

The only person who was able to make him feel something again is Noel.

Maybe that's why it's so hard to let go of her.

As if reading his thoughts she asks, "Do you think we'll always be together?"

Harken leans back against the bathtub and looks up at the blank ceiling.

"How drunk are you right now?" he asks.

"Pretty wasted, to be fair, but it's an honest question."

He just chuckles. "I would follow you anywhere, Noel, that's my honest answer."

Harken studies her face to see if she fully registers what he says, but her expression is blank giving him no signal whatsoever.

She suddenly turns towards the toilet and flips open the lid and vomits. Harken reaches to grasp her hair to hold it, patting her back in comfort.

"I can't say I didn't see this coming," he laughs. He waits until she feels good enough to lean back and drink a glass of water. Helping her to her feet, he carries her again back to her bedroom, pulling the covers back with a slight struggle, and lays her down.

"Try and get some sleep, Little Red," he whispers to her. He moves to pull away but is tugged back as she tugs at his shirt.

"I still don't feel that great. Can you stay with me just in case I feel sick again?" she asks. "I don't care if we sleep in the same bed," she adds.

He smiles, hoping she can't see his face in the dark and crawls into bed behind her. He freezes when she flips herself around and wiggles herself against her chest, enticing his arms around her. After a few seconds, he relaxes and squeezes her lightly against him, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair.

"Why did you kiss me on the water tower?" she suddenly asks.

Harken pauses and thinks carefully.

"Do you really want to know?" he asks.

She just nods.

"Because you drive me fucking crazy, Little Red. That's why."