Raw

Vinci has been having good sleep at night because of his recurring fantasies of Dominique. He noticed that it countered his past sleepless nights as he dealt with haunting nightmares of his dark childhood.

---

South Korea

Vincent Torres

I knew I was having a lucid dream, but I was unwilling to wake up. I wanted the pleasure of engaging with Dominique in my fantasy world where she was on my bed. I blame it on myself for being curious. The moment I remembered Gab told me about her in the past and that she was into cosplaying made me search for her on the internet. I discovered that she was famous in the cosplay world and she wore costumes that would definitely make her the fantasy of men!

Her face is so beautiful, and her body is beguiling. I wanted to touch her but something told me that I should not dare or I will have bad luck all-year round and worse. But the first time I saw her, I wished I had a super photographic memory. I actually do have eidetic memory, this is why I'm struggling with my dark childhood memory. But, these past few days, dreaming about Dominique has given me good and long sleep. I had to do a mental note to schedule an appointment with my therapist. It's progress for me as I had been taking meds to address my sleeping dilemma.

How I wish I could just be with Dominique, but being with her would entail responsibility and commitment. This, for sure, would spell trouble not just for me, but to her, too. I wouldn't want a complicated life for her. It's just not fair. I don't deserve her, though she might think otherwise. My childhood experience of being exploited by a woman older than me left me scarred. I'm broken. I do not know how to treat a good woman right, so she's better off with another man. Thus, all I can do is just be with her in my fantasy world.

Fortunately, due to my ability to recall a past scene in detail with great accuracy – just like a photograph, I can clearly recall the scent of her hair and the details of her face and body. It helps me to dream that I could feel her hair softly brushing my skin as I imagine her seductively crawling towards me. The tingling sensation of her warm and soft skin touching mine made me restless in anticipation of how good it would feel to be inside her and it was giving me an effing erection every single time! Damn it!

Still, I continued to dream of carefully massaging and cupping her soft creamy bosoms and hungrily suckling each one like a hungry baby, while Dominique wrapped her arms around my head.

Suddenly, I heard a wicked laugh. It was her! Ms. Andrea Sy! She locked her arms around my head so tightly and was choking me.

"You won't get away from me this time!" She said naked as her teats turned into snakes trying to bite me while she laughed like a lunatic.

'Get out of my dream!' I pushed Mrs. Andrea Sy, with all my might and pulled Dominique's hand as she was being sucked by a hurricane in my dream.

I wanted the scene to be back to normal, where we are in my bedroom, and I wanted to continue with our lovemaking. Damn! I don't know why I would regard it as lovemaking instead of plain sex. But, I don't have to figure it out just about now, just when I'm about to position myself between her legs and insert my thick member inside her moistness.

"What's happening though? Why can't I seem to put my d!ck inside her?" I tried to feel myself inside her but to no avail! "Where's my f0cking d!ck?" I shouted and suddenly woke up. It was a bizarre dream that I sat up from the bed sweating and panting for breath with annoyance. "Wasted opportunity to f0ck her real hard!" I punched the bed.

I stood up in bed and went to the bathroom to finish off, then returned to bed, not wasting any moment as I doze off to slumberland. I was hoping to repeat that nightmare with Dominique-- a pleasurable nightmare that had been continuing every night ever since I left her in the suite at Ritz Hotel.

---

Philippines

10 Years Ago

"Vincent can clean your house, Ms. Sy." I heard my mother volunteer me again to clean the mansion of Ms. Andrea Sy. She was our rich neighbor who had just moved into a mansion near our bungalow nipa hut.

I was still 16 years old back then and my dream was to become a professional musician.

"Son, Ms. Sy is here! She's picking you up to help her clean their house. She will pay you a hefty amount of money. Hurry up and move!" My father said as he pulled me out of my room.

"I don't want to!" I refuse. "She doesn't make me clean her house! Didn't I tell you and Mama that she wanted me to kiss her on the lips all the time?" I complained, feeling embarrassed about it.

"Don't you feel proud that you've already had an experience of kissing a beautiful woman? Some men would find you lucky, your know? She's a beautiful and rich woman and she kissed you on the lips and cheeks but there was no malice in it! Also, look at the payment given to you to clean a house...ten thousand! What a great help to our family so we can pay our bills!"

"Papa, she's 48 years old! It's like I'm kissing Mama! Disgusting!" I complained too loud that my father covered my mouth.

"Quiet down! Ms. Andrea might hear you and be offended! Why are you complaining? Did you lose anything when she kissed you? We are men! We will not lose anything. Instead, we will gain experience and bragging right that we scored, stupid boy!" My father scolded. "It's actually in your favor because Ms. Andrea is beautiful and sexy. You kissed a beautiful girl!" He slapped my head in annoyance.

I grunted as I winced in pain. We were always short of money so they would try to send me to Ms. Andrea even if I tried to tell them so many times that she was doing many inappropriate things to me. They didn't listen to me because they were desperate and addicted to gambling.

I could no longer tolerate the abuse of Ms. Andrea and the neglect of my parents that was why when I found out that there was an audition in South Korea to become a trainee, I didn't give a damn and took the risk. Fortunately, I passed.

However, it was not easy for me to leave the Philippines because my parents stopped me as they asked me to stay and help them deal with their gambling debts. I chose to obey them though even though I already have my passport, ticket, signed consent form, and notarized affidavit so that I could leave the country and join the training.

Ms. Andrea asked me to go to her house and said we would just have a chat. She offered juice to me and I drank it but I became unconscious. Fortunately, I woke up as I heard movements in her living room. There I saw Ms. Andrea putting plastic covers on all her furniture and a big plastic on the floor. She had a chainsaw and other sharp materials. Somehow, I knew she had something else planned for me. I got scared and secretly ran away. I didn't think of running home. Instead, I went straight to the airport.

When I got there, I called my parents and told them what happened but they didn't believe me. Instead, they believed Ms. Andrea who was planning on doing general cleaning of her house. She even accused me of stealing her mobile phone, but she would just give me the mobile phone and forgive me if I would return home. I felt so powerless and afraid as my own parents sided with the person who almost killed me.

I felt desperate and alone. It was a good thing that I remembered to seek help from my grandparents who were residing in the city. I told them what happened and they sided with me. They supported me and advised me to stay in South Korea and pursue my dream. It comforted me to know that they believed in me.

When I reached South Korea, I started to have anxiety but my grandparents assured me and advised me to focus on my training. The training was hard and it was already starting to cause my depression, but my grandparents and my fellow Infin8 brothers were my source of stability and strength. I promised my grandparents that I would repay them when the Infin8 debuts as a boyband.

When I was making money already, I immediately sent support to my grandparents. >I also paid my parents' debt to Ms. Andrea; and, I had my parents migrate to the US where I was more secure that they would be far from Ms. Andrea.

What I regret the most is that my parents are still into gambling. They are still constantly asking for large sums of money from me. I feel embarrassed by their action but they're my family. I just don't think that a woman like Dominique would accept me for my dark childhood and my family background.

---

I know I should free myself from my past. I'm trying to crawl out of it with all my might. It's so hard.

I raked my fingers through my hair in frustration and noticed the sweat on my forehead. I realized I was starting to have anxiety attack and tried to calm myself.

I sighed at the thought of Dominique which surprised me.

Why is she becoming the first I think of when I'm starting to feel anxious? It seems her image gives me comfort. But why?

I stared at the stars on the glass window of my room. There's solemnity and quietness that I felt. I guess I know the answer to my question.

"If only I can keep you...but you're just infatuated with 'Vinci the Infin8 idol'... not the real Vincent."